Chapter 24 #3
A distressed sound spilled from Oli’s lips, and KC stopped working on me to curl an arm around his shoulders, holding him tight.
“I don’t know when it happened, and I know we haven’t been together for long, but you make me want to be a better person.
I don’t even know if I had plans to continue going after my brother.
I didn’t give myself time to think about it.
All I could focus on was you and how happy I was with you.
” I reached out both hands, letting them hang between us.
“I’m not a good person. I didn’t grow up in a good family, but I love you both more than I should be allowed to.
I would do anything for your forgiveness. Anything.”
My hands hung there between us and my heart hurt.
The worst part of the entire thing was that while I loved them and they’d changed my life, a slice of me was still annoyed my plans went sideways.
Failure had never been an option, but it happened, and now I had to recalibrate.
And I wanted to because of these two guys.
That vicious part of me that thrived on chaos would need to take a hike.
There were always other ways to feed my need for manipulation.
Oli leaned into KC, using his bulk for comfort, and I wished I could offer my own. “You said you wanted to break our hearts.”
“I know and I wasn’t lying. I did, at one point.
” I laughed at my own stupidity. “Seeing Luke made me crazy. He left me when I needed him the most. He packed his shit and took off to New Gothenburg when I was a kid. He was the only one who cared about me in our family, and then he was gone, without a goodbye. One minute he was there, then the next he wasn’t, and Mother was telling me he’d gone to live with our uncle.
She lectured me on what a horrible person he was and that if I ever turned out like him, she’d send me away, too.
My parents ended up shipping me off to boarding school anyway. ”
I shrugged, detached when it came to my family. By that point, nothing they did surprised me. They hated me as much as they hated Luke, and I was a problem they needed to get rid of.
“At school, I wallowed in resentment and anger. I despised my family, and I blamed Luke. For Andrea. For leaving me behind. It’s how I got into hockey.
I needed to hit something, so I did.” I touched my nose tenderly, wincing at the sharp spike of pain.
“I’m still angry. At the world. Fuck. At Luke.
After school, I didn’t know how to regulate that feeling. ”
“So, channel it,” KC snapped, causing my attention to center on him.
His tone was sharp and biting. “Join a hockey league. Join a boxing club. Do something. You don’t take it out on people who love you.
” Something like hope or longing rooted in my chest, but he shook his head when I opened my mouth.
“Barber loves you. I’m not saying he wasn’t at fault.
He’s a real idiot when he wants to be, but he’s got a good heart.
I don’t see him purposely hurting someone.
I think he really regretted what he said to your friend after you told him what happened. ”
“He does,” Oli cut in. “He’s not a bad person.”
“You need to have a serious discussion with him. Without yelling, without accusing. An adult conversation.” KC crossed his arms, chin dipped. “If you want us to forgive you, then you need to earn it. Do better. Be better.”
“And don’t be as stupid as Barber,” Oli said.
KC looked at him, and they burst into laughter.
I smiled despite their anger. It was beautiful to hear them laugh, the sound tinkling around the garage in a way that warmed my insides.
But, I wasn’t sure I could forgive Luke, either.
How the fuck could I get past this rage that swelled in my chest?
Forget the years of resentment? I had a choice—let go of my anger or lose the men I loved.
The decision wasn’t hard.
“I’ll work on it, I promise.” They each took one of my hands, and I jolted and curled my fingers. All I could do was hold on tight.
“We’re not forgiving you yet.” KC was taking charge, but that didn’t surprise me. Oli looked up to him, idolized him. “But, you changed our lives, and we love you, too. So, you need to get your shit together or, so help me, I will kick your ass. I’m a big guy. I’ll take you down. I fucking will.”
I sucked in air, glancing between them.
Oli nodded in agreement, chin raised but eyes soft. “What he said.”
“You’ll need to work hard to earn our trust again.” KC leaned in closer and laid a gentle kiss on my cheek. “We have time. You hurt us and especially hurt Oli. You have a lot to make up for. And you will get your shit together.”
“I will.” I hauled them both closer and brought each of their hands to my lips, kissing the back of them. “I’d move heaven and earth for you.”
“We don’t need you to do that,” Oli said, snorting. “But you do something like this again, we’re done.”
“Deal, Kitten.”
Oli rolled his eyes but smiled.