Chapter 7
Chapter
Seven
SUTTON
D isappointment coursed through my veins this morning when Gage told me Ink wouldn’t be in today.
Something about club business?
I wanted to ask what kind of club a grown man would be in, but I didn’t think Gage and I were at that level yet. He’s nice and always seems happy to help when I have a question, but part of me thinks he’s only like that because he feels bad for me. I’m also only on day two.
I don’t know why I’m disappointed. All night I tossed and turned on the lumpy motel mattress trying to find a spot where a lump wasn’t jabbing into a kidney.
My stupid brain couldn’t stop playing the day before on repeat.
Analyzing every little thing that was said.
Every little interaction I had. The conclusion I came to is that Ink hated me the second he found out I was the new hire.
Hate is such a strong word and I’ve only used it with two people in my life. And even then, it was under extreme circumstances. I felt cornered, like there was no way out. I usually try to find the good in everything and everyone.
I think a small part of me was hoping what happened yesterday was a fluke.
That he would apologize for what he said and actually mean it.
The one he gave yesterday was a poor excuse for an apology and I think it only happened because he knows I heard what he said.
If he didn’t think that, there wouldn’t have been one at all.
I’ll never admit to him that his comment flayed me wide open.
The sad thing is that he’s right. No one has ever wanted to put effort into me.
I’ve spent my whole life in the shadows, only speaking when others spoke to me.
You could be the strongest person in the world, but after a while, it would eventually eat away at you until you feel hollow inside.
It’s hard to care about yourself when not even one person cares about you.
“Whatcha lookin’ at?” A voice sneaks up on me, making me jump.
The pen I was holding goes flying as I jump back and my hand covers my racing heart.
“Holy shoot!” I exclaim, coming face to face with Gage, who is trying his hardest not to laugh but failing miserably.
“Holy shoot?” he asks between faking coughing to cover his laugh. “I’m not going to tell your mom on you, Sutton. You can say shit. We’re all adults here.” My cheeks are on fire as he laughs so hard he doubles over.
Quickly bending over, I pick up the pen I threw, setting it back on the desk next to the notepad I’m borrowing that I found in one of the desk drawers. I try to laugh along with him, but it sounds awkward and forced, even to my ears. I’m surprised my fidget ring doesn’t spin right off my finger.
“Ahh fuck. I needed that laugh, Sutton. Thanks.” Gage smiles as his laughter stops.
I give him a small smile, determined to not let the anxiety of what just happened win. My brain will analyze every little detail until I want a giant black hole to swallow me up because I obviously can never show my face to these people again.
“So, you goin’ to tell me what you’re lookin’ at?” Gage asks as he tries to look over my shoulder .
Shoot.
“Um, just some places for rent,” I respond, ripping the sheet that I wrote a few places for rent on, folding it carelessly to shove into my back pocket.
The last thing I want is for any of them to know I’m basically homeless and living out of a motel.
“I’m sorry I was doing this on company time. It won’t happen again.”
“Company time?” Gage starts laughing all over again. “Fuck, girl. You sure know how to make me laugh. We don’t give a shit about that here. If you have down time, you’re free to do what you want with it.”
My small smile I had given him earlier has turned into a wonky straight line. I’m trying to keep the mood light, but I’m really not understanding what’s so funny. The last thing I need is for him to give Ink another thing to yell at me about, or better yet, fire me.
“You movin’?” he asks.
I open my mouth to respond, but another deep voice beats me to it.
“Who’s movin’?”
Both of us turn to see Ink prowling down the hallway, eyes darting between Gage and I. I didn’t notice how close Gage had gotten to me until I looked down to see what Ink had his gaze now locked on. Our hands were centimeters apart. One slight movement and they would be touching.
Clearing my throat, I take one step to the side, creating a little more space between Gage and I. I need enough room for my invisible comfort shield.
“I am,” I answer.
“Why?” Ink asks, stepping into my space, popping the bubble I built back up two seconds ago.
Why?
Why does it matter to you?
“I’m just ready for a change.” There. That was a good answer. I’m assuming that’s why most people move, right ?
“Change? What kind of change could a girl like you possibly need?”
Gage makes a noise of disbelief.
A girl like you.
There it is again. His questions sound rhetorical, so I don’t bother answering.
“You’re what, twenty years old? Did daddy stop paying for your place?” He mocks. “Decided to take a job at my shop to get back at him. Is that it?”
“Ink, ease up, man,” Gage cuts in.
Either Ink didn’t hear him or he’s choosing not to acknowledge him because his intense stare hasn’t left me. Gosh, his blue eyes feel like they can see into my soul as they sear me on the spot. Can he see how broken I am?
Once again, though, Ink’s right. My dad would lose his ever-loving mind if he found out I’m working in a tattoo shop.
He’s also part of the reason I’m in the situation that I’m in.
It’s just not for the reason Ink thinks.
Ink doesn’t have a right to that information, though, so I’m not giving it up.
I can tell he’s the type of man that’s used to getting his way.
He can stand there and accuse me of everything under the sun, but he still won’t get anything from me.
That died with past Sutton. It’s taking time, but new Sutton is slowly learning to do things on her schedule and not someone else’s.
“I’m twenty-five,” I answer, sticking to my guns.
“Just a baby,” he whispers, his tone taking on a sinister edge. “So, why are you movin’?”
Why isn’t he dropping this?
“I told you. I’m ready for change.”
Neither one of us says anything for a long moment.
It takes everything in me to not fidget under his scrutiny.
I can tell from the suspicion in his blue eyes that he doesn’t believe me.
Ink’s body language and attitude do an amazing job of hiding what he doesn’t want you to see, but those baby blues reveal it all.
“Hmm,” he hums, hands on his hips .
Swallowing the lump that’s making my throat feel like it’s closing in, I brace for his continued interrogation. I’ve never been good with confrontation, especially with someone that I know flat out doesn’t like me.
“Thought you weren’t coming in today?” Gage cuts in, breaking the tense silence that has settled over the lobby.
As soon as my first check cashes, I’m buying Gage the best donuts I can find in the corner store for saving me from the wrath of grumpy Ink.
“Wasn’t plannin’ on it. Got done with what I had to do earlier than I expected, so I figured I’d stop in and check on a few things.”
If I had grown the pair of balls I promised my new self I would grow, I’d ask him what he had to do today but I don’t. A million and one questions are always running through my mind, but none ever get asked.
“Yeah, I’m sure you just had to stop in and check on a few things.” Gage snorts.
The scowl that I’ve come to learn in my short two days of being here is Ink’s signature expression settles back into place before he’s prowling back down the hall. After a beat of Gage and I watching him go, we hear the back door that Gage said leads to the alley open and slam shut.
Uh… what was that?
A long, exasperated sigh escapes Gage. “That isn’t Ink.”
“I’m sorry?” I ask, shifting my gaze to him. I’m pretty sure we all have two eyes and just watched all of that go down.
“That shit right there? That’s not him. I don’t know what’s been goin’ on with him lately, but try not to take it to heart. The Ink that I know would be kicking himself for treating a woman like this.”
Gage sounds so sincere that I almost believe him.
Maybe this is the first time he’s realizing Ink isn’t how he originally viewed him.
Lots of people slowly change before your eyes without you noticing.
And by the time you’re wondering what happened, you’ve already living on planet delulu.
That’s a hard place to leave. I’d know .
But the only Ink I’ve seen is that one that just left.
“I’ll talk to him. You have a lot left to do?” Gage nods towards the desk.
No one has come in or called the shop in the last hour and a half, so I did everything I needed to do to in that down time. “I’m ready.”
“Cool. Let me just nab the lights, and we’ll head out.”
I stand by the back door as Gage quickly does his rounds, making sure the front door is locked, flipping light switches off as he walks by.
“Let’s roll out,” he says as he shrugs on his jacket.
The crisp night air hits my face, peppering it with little tingles before the smell of trash in the alley hits my nose.
My nose scrunches at the odor. One thing I’ve realized since moving to the city is I do not like the weird smells that randomly blast in your face. Sometimes the whiffs I get walking down the street are enough to send me to my knees as I projectile vomit all over the sidewalk.
“See ya tomorrow. Have a nice night,” I call over my shoulder as I tuck my hands in the pocket of my coat, hunching my shoulders as I pull the fabric tight against me as if that will somehow take the chill out.
“You walkin’ again?”
“Yeah.”
“God damnit, Sutton.” I pause as I turn around because he actually sounds mad. “You walkin’ tomorrow?”
Seeing as I’m not going to have the money to fix my pile of crap that’s dead in the motel parking lot in time for work tomorrow, yeah, I’m walking.
“Yeah.”
“I’m makin’ sure I don’t have plans right after work tomorrow and I’m taking you home. It’s not safe for a woman to be walkin’ the streets alone at night. You have my number?” I shake my head, and he’s holding out his hand while wiggling his fingers. “Hand it over.”
My hand reaches into my pocket, but I hesitate.
Is this a boundary I want to cross? Gage seems to be my main source of contact with anything regarding work.
Ink would be the last person I would want to talk to if I was having a situation.
That risk alone seems worth it to me. Handing over my phone to Gage, I watch him quickly type in his name and number.
“Text me when you make it home just so I know you’re safe.”
My breath catches in my throat, making it hard to breathe, let alone talk. No one in my entire life has wanted to know I’m safe.
“Sutton?” Gage’s hand is still outstretched, waiting for me to take my phone.
“Sorry,” I say, tucking it back in my pocket. “I’ll let you know when I’ve made it. Thanks.”
Spinning on my heel, I head down the alley to start my walk home.
I look for Madame Salem as I near the end of the random street vendors that set up again, but the spot that held her table is empty.
I make it to the motel without any issues, counting down the days until I no longer have to call this place home.
Home is a lie I keep telling myself to not make it seem so bad.
As soon as I’m in my room, I shoot Gage a text and immediately shower the day away and slip on the thread bare pajamas before slipping into the scratchy sheets.
It doesn’t take long before my brain starts going into overdrive, replaying and analyzing every little thing about our day.
I can’t help but go back to the reading with Madame Salem and wonder who in the world my soulmate could be?