Chapter 5
Dash
“ You ’ re mine.” I grin. Shit, that burns! I relax my smirk. Fuck! That hurts more! I didn ’ t think skin could rip as easily as paper, but subject it to frigid, dry air for long periods, and no amount of ointment from a fancy French pharmacy could butter it up again. A raisin would look more edible than my face.
My exhale burns so much that it causes tears in my eyes, but the cold air quickly gobbles up the moisture. I wait for the cloud of frost my breath made to evaporate, so I have a clear shot, then I pull the trigger. There ’ s a moment right before my gun kicks back where I can hear the ice cracking off my knuckles as my movement breaks it. The distinct, whistling sound whips through the air; I close my eyes. I hear that sound when I try to sleep. It ’ s both peace-inducing and dreadful because it means I have to return to Initiation 101.
A second later, my target drops to the ground, pink mist ejects from the exit wound. Another tally on my board of kills, not that I keep score.
Shifting my arm, the branches camouflaging me make a sweeping sound, but the danger has largely passed. I press my comms. “ Got him,” I inform the team. I feel an odd sense of disappointment. It ’ s like playing one of those claw machines that seem so easy to win. You even grab the toy, but just when victory feels certain, it slips through your fingers too soon. Now that I have completed my job, they will just order me to do the next one.
And the next. And the next. Endless.
“ Move in, Leo,” Titan orders. I watch as my brothers tactically invade the building, taking out the rest of the targets. We have no idea what these men did. We were given an order and followed.
At least they are not our classmates.We ’ re down to just two teams standing. I ’ m starting to suspect graduation happens when there is only one group left, regardless of the rumors that it ’ s not that way.
We might perform like loyal dogs, but secretly, Dante, Cillian, Titan, Damian, Anders, Leo, and I have made a pack—the Brotherhood. One day, we will make the men who made us suffer regret everything they did.
I thought I was strong before. I never knew that a man could be shaped in such a way.
I scan our surroundings, looking for anything to shoot. The cold air no longer burns my nose. I ’ ve been in my sniper hole for the past twenty-seven hours. Just me, my gun, and my thoughts. From time to time, I talk to my brothers. I also talk to Mila. I dream about her.
What ’ s she doing right this moment?
The holiday season is approaching, and Christmas is on its way. I wish I could place a gift under her tree. If only we could have a cozy little home in another life. She would pester me about going to a Christmas tree farm, selecting a tree, and then I could just sit back and watch her decorate it.
Silence becomes dangerous when thoughts like that arise.
I hope she moved on.
I pray she didn ’ t.
Cillian was right; if I survive Initiation 101, then I ’ ll have to catch her again.
My lip tugs up. I can ’ t wait for that hunt.
◆◆◆
My lips curl in, abs clench as I suppress the groan of irritation as I roll to my side and sit up. My feet land on the icy floor that has transformed into my home. Another day, more suffering. I welcome the cold water in the compound. It ’ s become a comfort that numbs some of the aches. Bracing the wall, I let my head hang as I look down at my naked body. Muscles curve up and define the legs of a man I ’ m not sure has a purpose anymore.
Just keep living, but to what end?
I ’ m getting tired and frustrated. Emerging more monster than man because the blood I shed is a welcome escape from this place.
I shake my hair out, then grab the bar of soap, squeezing it so tight I make a dent in it. I forget what a hot shower feels like, what Mila ’ s skin felt like under that steamy water. She used to clean me; love me.
I wonder if my cruel lies still hold her back or if they set her free like she always wanted.
Oh, if only she could witness me at this moment. I can ’ t be cleansed; it ’ s best just to embrace the dirt and grime, become what they want me to be.
When I round the corner to the cafeteria, a pit lands in my stomach, just as unexpected as a curveball. There are still two teams, but my table is missing three of my brothers. Where are Dante, Titan, and Anders?
My eyes narrow, fist balling as I force my swallow down. Trying to appear casual, I take my tray and pick out my breakfast. The choices don ’ t matter; they all taste like shit. A part of me thinks they want us to develop pika because sometimes a pencil looks more delicious than the slop they serve us.
“ Where are they?” I mutter as I scan the room. I ’ m known for being the last one to show up. We have to share the showers, and I always offer to go last. Since there ’ s no hot water anyway, why not grab a few more minutes of sleep?
“ Their beds were empty.” Cillian responds. I eye the big guy, noting he hasn ’ t touched his food. Cillian always eats, no matter the situation.
“ What does that mean?” I hiss. Damian catches my gaze. When he looks at me, I can see the frightened boy who clung to his mother as she passed away.
I straighten my spine. “ They ’ re not dead.” I deliberately extend my leg to touch the tip of his toe with my boot gently. We can only share small gestures of support like this. Damian is the most emotional out of all my brothers. It can be both good and bad because he can detect hidden emotions in people.
Damian nods. “ I know.” Through our eyes, we share a whispered prayer for the safety of our brothers.
Leo’s eyes look to the empty seat where Anders sits. They hate each other, but hate can bind you, and I see the fear in Leo ’ s stare.
“ Fuck this.” I shove my tray and stand.
“ Dash.” Damian reaches for my hand, but I shake it free. Then I turn and march to the main guard, who stands at the door. His smirk grows as he sees me coming.
“ Where are they?” I growl. Don ’ t kill him.
“ Alive,” he smirks. “ Dead,” he shrugs. “ Maybe they are screaming your name right now, begging and hoping you will come to save them. Who knows?” He snickers.
“ What do you want?”
“ For you to sit down and follow orders.”
A breath hits my back. My brothers have joined me. The second group of guys who have survived this long watch and wait with bated breath.
“ We want a word with Commander Louis,” Leo growls. Louis is the one in charge around here. We ’ ve never really spoken to him; he ’ s always on the sidelines surrounded by his top four men, just watching and judging.
The guard snorts, his head tipping back slightly. “ And I want a tall blonde with a hot body.” His eyes flicker to Leo. “ Is your sister single?” He taunts.
Cillian acts fast, grabbing Leo in a bear-tight grip as Leo lets loose a string of threats in Russian.
The lights dim, a silent warning that has more guards rushing into the room. Death feels closer than ever now. One group acted out against the guards during our first weeks here. Looking to my left, I eye the floor where their bodies fell and blood poured out.
Suddenly, the room is filled with guns pointing at my family. The barrels feel like the fingers of a child poking me.
“ Go ahead,” the guard provokes, “ Hit me, boys,”
Our inhales are sharp, the air so thick with tension that it ’ s a struggle to swallow it down and force our lungs to accept it. “ Dash.” Damian touches my shoulder, edging me back.
We move in reverse. The guard laughs as the guns track us. “ Good dogs, now go sit until your next order.”
“ Someday,” I begin to smile, “ I ’ ll make it out of here alive.”
His grin drops a millimeter.
“ Remember this moment when I see you,” I warn as I turn around and do as I ’ m told.
One day, I ’ m going to make them all suffer.