Chapter 7
Mila
“ Take these pills, and you ’ ll feel all better, sweetheart.” The nurse extends the small paper cup, placing it in my hand. Four capsules lay inside. As I move, the thin sheets in the hospital scrape against my skin.
A snort of laughter escapes from my nose. They want to drug me now. To paint a fake picture with me trapped inside. Is that what Dominic would hang on his wall?
My dad thinks I deliberately jumped in front of the car to sabotage my dancing career because the pressure of being one of the best was overwhelming. He hired a psychologist to try to fix me. In our world, broken things can always be repaired, so much so that the viewer cannot even see the initial cracks. They just keep gluing and ignoring the underlying cause.
Can they fix him? Can they show my dad it wasn't the pressure from dance but from him and everyone else in my life?
“ Why can ’ t they hear me?” I mumble.
The nurse leans closer, her eyes growing concerned. “ Who, honey?”
“ Everyone.” I match her look of worry.
Her lips press into a thin line as she sighs, “ I have to make sure you take the pills, sweetie.” She grabs the water and places it in my other hand.
Are you going to pull the invisible strings to lift my hand and force me to swallow, too?
In hindsight, it was stupid to run without a plan.I ’ d do it again if I could. A single breath of freedom is more valuable than a breath taken in captivity.
“ You have to take the pills.”
I raise the cup to my lips. The dryness of my mouth is so severe that the cup adheres to them.
The nurse smirks, but it ’ s sad—the kind of smile you give to an old dog you ’ re about to put down. “ You try to sleep, sweetie.” She turns and leaves. I wait until her footsteps disappear, then spit the pills out into the palm of my hand.
Maybe it ’ s another act of rebellion.
The sound of footsteps resonates through the hallway once more, but this time, they move with determination. With a pounding heart, I clutch the pills tightly in my hand.
Is that Dad or Dominic?
They left for the night. Despite Dominic ’ s desire to stay hovering over me like an umbrella. Why couldn ’ t Dom understand he was the storm pelting me?
I needed a break from all of them!
A shadow falls, eating up the light that seeps under my door. The door swings open, exposing polished black leather dress shoes, neatly pressed navy trousers, and a crisp white dress shirt. It would be a sin to touch this person and wrinkle the fabric.
My heart leaps and then plummets when I see the newcomer ’ s face, causing painful sensations in my lungs. “ Da…Dante!” I choke. My eyes widen and blur over with tears.
Is he a hallucination? When I look down, I see the pills resting in my hand, moistened by my mouth. They ’ re chalky, and their outer color smudges onto my hand like paint. I didn ’ t take them; this is real.
“ I ’ m running out of time,” Dante remarks as another man slides into the room and gently closes the door. He gestures behind him. “ This is my brother, Nico. You can trust him.”
“ Why…why are you here?” I inch back in my bed as the question I want to ask pleads to be released from the tip of my tongue.
It ’ s as if Dante can sense it, feel the whooshing of air that wants to escape me. “ Dash is alive,” Dante admits.
A breath I didn ’ t know I ’ d been holding since Dash left me comes rushing out.
“ We were taken the night of The Cleansing and put into…hell,” Dante states matter-of-factly. Nico glances down, his lips pressing thin in fury.
I close my eyes, trying to stop my tears. Dante continues, “ It was all a test. It ’ s called Initiation 101. Think of it as a school that teaches survival.” He speaks tenderly, trying not to scare me. “ We ’ ve been fighting to stay alive. Dash has been fighting for you .”
Don ’ t do that to me! Try to force a smile on my lips when Dash carved out an angry scream. “ Stop lying to me!” I shout.
Nico flinches as his eyes dig into his brother ’ s back. My heart sinks as I cry, a mixture of rage and relief.Dash is alive, but that changes nothing; he left me, burned me so deep only scarred hideous flesh covers me now. He took my trust and distorted it, making it so I could never fully give in to another person again.
Dante closes the distance. “ The doctors said you did this to yourself.” He touches the hard cast as if it were as thin as an eggshell, with a gentleness no one has shown me since I arrived.
There was always something gentle about Dante, the way he looked into your eyes deeper than anyone dared to, the way he smiled so it made you feel welcomed.
But is his hand like that of a hunter offering food only to trick its prey?
Dash taught me about all the different kinds of monsters in our world; some have teeth, others claws.
What do you have, Dante?
“ It doesn ’ t matter.” I reply.
“ Yes. It. Does.” He growls. There it is, the beast lurking behind his handsome walls. He clears his throat, trying to sound comforting again, but it ’ s too late. “ Don ’ t break now, Mila, not after everything we have survived. He is coming for you.”
I glare at him, wishing my eyes could penetrate him like bullets. “ There is nothing left for him to collect, Dante.” I spit. “ Everyone has taken something from me. I have nothing left to give.” I wipe my eyes with the back of my hands. He moves again, grabbing my wrist and turning my palm up as he spots the pills.
“ Don ’ t take them.” He grabs them and slips them into his pocket. “ Keep doing what you have to do in order to see clearly. One day, this will end, and Dash will come home.”
I snort as I grab the pain medicine button, smashing my finger into it repeatedly as if it were an arcade game I was trying to conquer. Click, click, click, click.
Make it all stop!
I glare at Dante. Try to snatch it from me; I dare you? “ What if I ’ m not here when he arrives, Dante? What if I escaped?” I look at his pocket where the pills are. Maybe I should have taken them. Maybe that is my only escape.
Dante grabs my chin and tips it up. “ You ’ re my family. Remember when I told you that? Time separated us and changed us, but that doesn ’ t change the fact that you ’ re part of my world.”
“ I ’ m no one.” I keep clicking the pain medicine button, but I ’ ve lost my vigor. It ’ s a trick, anyway. The button does nothing; it's just another illusion that I have control.
His thumb glides across my jaw, wiping away my tears. “ You are someone to Dash and me. Someone who gave him fuel to endure things you can ’ t imagine.”
I avert my gaze, and his touch vanishes. “ Then where is he now? Why is it you who is here and not him?”
Dante stands taller. “ He ’ s still trapped, waiting to pass his final test. I promised him I ’ d look after you.” He reaches into his other pocket and hands me a phone. “ If you need me, just call, and my brother or I will come.”
“ You ’ re leaving again.” My bottom lip trembles. His coming here was like throwing a life vest to me, only to drive away in the boat as I was left to float, unable to sink or swim. Just float. Remain.
Fuck him and his phone!
He nods, ignoring my unspoken answer. My pillow tilts as he slides the phone under it, like a pebble in my shoe meant to annoy me, forcing me to grab it so I can walk without pain.
“ And what will you do when you come?” I scoff. “ Put me back in my cage like Dash did. You can ’ t offer me freedom.” I shake my head. “ You can ’ t offer me a damn thing, Dante.”
He licks his lips, but then the door to my room opens. “ Mila,” Dom announces.
What the heck is he doing back here?
My back sinks against the pillow. Please don't let Dom see the phone!
As much as I try to despise it, Dante and I both know that I desperately want it. I want a lifeline back to that old life I had; I do anything to escape the current one.
Like chocolate being poured into the mold, Dom's feet come to a smooth halt. His shock and anger don't overflow. Dom's skilled; he lets nothing spill over. He pauses when he spots Nico and Dante. I expect him to be surprised, but instead, Dom flashes them a wicked grin. “ I should have known it was you.”
“ You need better guards,” Dante smirks, but it ’ s so aggressive it sends a chill down my body, so strong that it threatens to crack open the cast on my leg.
“ You know them?” I glance at Dom.
Dom closes the space, comes to my bedside, then bends down and kisses me. His lips feel vicious and crisp against mine. “ My love, how are you feeling?” He pulls away, and I ’ m thrust into another storm of confusion and mind games.
“ You told my dad you were going home for the night,” I whisper.
“ I ’ m not abandoning you the same night you tell me you love me.” He speaks loud enough for the entire hospital to hear.
Dante ’ s eyes look at me and fill with disappointment.I look away, glaring at the cast on my ankle.
“ Gentlemen,” Dom tenderly tucks my hair behind my ear, “ If you wouldn ’ t mind, Mila needs her rest.” He reaches for my hand and takes it, holding it at an angle Dante and Nico can see.
I ’ m just Dom ’ s pawn. This isn ’ t love. It ’ s a game.
“ A lot of people need to be put to rest,” Dante smirks. “ Soon they will be.”
Dom only grins back. “ I look forward to it. Tell Dash I said hello. Oh wait, you can ’ t.” He snorts amusingly. “ You don ’ t even know if he ’ s alive.” His fingers grip mine tighter, and his eyes pin me down. “ Did he tell you that or just more lies? He doesn ’ t know where Dash is or even if his heart still beats.”
“ St.. stop,” I murmur, a pained cry that escapes Dom ’ s ears. He’s known all along, hasn ’ t he? He knew Dash was at this school fighting for his life.
“ Stay out of her life, or I ’ ll make you,” Dom says to Dante.
Nico chuckles, “ You hide behind your father, but one day, he will be dead and buried; remember that.”
“ How ’ s that faring for you? You buried your father so long ago, but you ’ re still trapped and under a thumb.”
I gasp at Dom ’ s cruelty, trying to slip my hand free, but he snatches it back. Dante steps forward, parting his lips, but then his gaze snaps to mine, and whatever threat he was about to etch into stone vanishes as he dips his chin, sparing me. “ Mila,” he acknowledges. “ Until we meet again.”
“ Or not,” Dom replies as they exit my room.
His cold smirk drops and flashes with a practiced concern. “ Are you okay, baby?” He touches my cheek, causing me to cringe. “ Don ’ t be scared. This is how you deal with men like them. An iron fist. They can ’ t touch me. If they did, every man who has worked for our fathers would be forced to hunt them down.”
“ Who the hell are you?” I glance at the remote on my bed. The call button is directly in my sight, but the nurse can ’ t save me. No one can. Not even Dante, it seems.
Dom’s throat rolls. “ I ’ m the man standing by your side, the person who is here every time you fall,” he looks at my cast. I hate to admit he ’ s right. He ’ s always here when I ’ m shattered. “ I love you, but in order to protect you, sometimes I have to be ruthless. You know I ’ d never hurt you.” He touches my cheek again, watching me intently. He begins to smirk when I don ’ t flinch under his touch. I wanted to, but fear held me back.
“ You ’ ve lied to me.” The question is, how much did you lie about?
“ We ’ ll talk about moving to Europe later. How are you feeling?”
“ I ’ m not moving to Europe!” I shout. I’m talking about Dash! You knew where he was this whole time!
His jaw clenches as he looks at my cast.“Well, not now, but eventually, we will be together. I have a plan,” he whispers gently. Why are you my goddamn lifeboat? Why not Dante?
“ If you love me,” I begin, “ tell me everything.”
Dom sits on the edge of my bed, but his presence feels like a mountain crushing me. “ Some things are too harsh for your ears, my love, but I can tell you this. I know you hate it here. It ’ s anguished me to see you suffering.” His chest falls as he continues this act. “ I was planning on surprising you about moving to Europe. I just want you to be happy, and I thought moving away would be a fresh start for us.”
That…is what I wanted. To leave. Maybe my head is so fucked up that I see the heroes as villains in my story. Maybe Dom is just trying to protect me, and maybe the only way to do it is to be monstrous at times.
Do you believe that, Mila, or are you just trying to make the cage he's shoving you into a cozy home? Tell me, do those bars feel warm at night? Is the floor comfortable?
My forehead wrinkles. “ But I have college; you knew we ’ d be apart until I graduated but didn ’ t tell me.”
“ No, silly,” he laughs, “ College is a waste of your time. Your father only put you at Empire University to squander time until you were old enough to marry.” The biggest blow is that it ’ s the truth. Women in my world are more like art pieces you hang up and admire.
“ We love each other. We will make your father see that.” He nods confidently to himself. “ I ’ ll make sure you ’ re my wife and no one else ’ s. I ’ d never let you be bartered away like so many other women in our world.” He softens his voice, trying to sound sincere.
I ask the most unimportant question in my situation: “ But what about my classes?” What about the one thing I enjoy?
Dom rolls his eyes. “ The art thing stressed you so terribly. I have multiple ballet companies in Europe lined up, and they all want you to audition for them. My plan was once I graduate, we ’ d relocate to Europe, and you could finally escape from here.” Dom keeps dangling the bait he knows I crave: freedom, even if it ’ s only another cage.
“ While I worked and grew our father ’ s business, you could have been dancing. It was all going to be so perfect.” His eye twitches. “ But don ’ t worry,” he taps my nose. “ It still can be. Once I finish school, I ’ ll persuade your father that you can drop out, too. We ’ ll get married, move, and you rehab your ankle. You ’ ll be good enough to dance again one day.”
“ Do you honestly believe that?” That one day, after you ’ ve molded me, I ’ ll finally be good enough for you?
My throat tightens, but somehow, I manage to shove the words out of my trembling lips. “ Some things don ’ t fit into molds, Dom.” The room feels so sterile. The antiseptic scent claws at my stomach, and the fluorescent lights are a unsettling, tinged blue.
A cold bead of sweat drips down my temple as Dom ’ s smile slowly shrivels away. What comes next isn ’ t a flower trying to seduce me; it's a thorny bush ready to grab my ankles and drag me back to him. “ If you break them, they will fit.” It ’ s a warning. He ’ s never letting me go.
Dash never told me I wasn ’ t good enough; neither did Dante nor Cillian. They accepted me into their fucked up family as I was. They never expected more; they promised if I gave less, they would still welcome me.
My eyes pivot to the door. But they keep leaving…
Dom ’ s shadow engulfs me. Maybe he ’ s the best option?
“ Of course. We ’ ll hire the best doctors.”
“ Why do you care if I dance?” Why do I bother asking? I ’ m so confused and empty. I keep trying to spill out a purpose, but nothing truly comes forth.
He blinks as if confused. “ You ’ re a star, Mila, someone who is a trophy to be viewed. You ’ re the love of my life, and I want the world to know that.”
The love of your life is a trophy?
“ You belong on a stage. You love ballet.” He presses. “ You ’ re just confused, but that will fade. We all go through times like this. It will pass, and when it does, you ’ ll thank me for pushing you.”
Did Dash push me or pull me back from what vexed me?
Dash took my hand and plucked the needle from it. He replaced it with a paintbrush.
Dom would just use that needle to sew me tighter. He ’ s not fixing me, just masking the issues with compliments.
Stop thinking of Dash! He ’ s not here!
Dom continues as he tells me his plans for our future. He ’ s in love with a ghost that appears on stage, performs, and then slips away until she is called forth again.
He never loved me. He ’ s infatuated with the awe-inspired looks other people give me when I dance. Dom craves the jealous looks other men give him when they see me spinning on the tips of my toes.
Some women find a man that sweeps them off their feet.
I found a man who is forcing me to stay on mine, no matter the pain or sacrifices.