Chapter 10
Mila
With a hint of apology, Dad remarks, “ This isn ’ t how it was meant to be,” as he enters his office after Marcus and Dash, who act as if they are the bosses. The doorway is blocked by the guards, hindering my escape. When the door shuts with a click, I quickly retreat to the far corner, finding solace in the walls pressing against my shoulders. The dizziness in my head makes me wish I could faint, wake up, and find out it was just a nightmare.
This is a slow engagement that will trap me.
Marriage! To Dash!
A few years ago, I would have accepted the idea. A part of me still wants to, but the man in front of me, who can ’ t even look at me, surely won ’ t accept this marriage either.
Through teary eyes, I spy Dash as he stands tall, like a pillar behind his father. He continues to avoid making eye contact, causing the imaginary knife in my stomach to twist further with every moment.
Marcus shrugs, “ What ’ s done is done, Greg. This was arranged years ago; it was time the news was out.”
What?
Dash ’ s shoulder blades draw closer, as though sensing the intensity of my stare.
Years ago? Did…did Dash know about this?
Dad pours a drink from his private stash and quickly finishes the glass. “ You should have waited. I already told you Mila acted out. She could have made a scene.”
My shoulders ache as they press against the wall, hoping it would just engulf me.
“ Mila is stronger than you think,” Marcus states, as if he knows me better than my father.
I ’ m right here! I attempt to let out a scream, but silence fills the air.
Running his hand through his hair, Dad gazes over at me in the corner. “ The marriage won ’ t take place till you finish school.” Is that meant to comfort me? “ You knew this was coming.” He mutters softly.
“ Let ’ s give them time to get to know each other. Dash is home now, and he will attend Empire University. A good marriage is built on a friendship. Why don ’ t we let them talk?” Marcus adds.
I brace my hands on the wall, and in horror, I watch as Dad and Marcus leave the office. A fever engulfs me while my knees quiver. Dash keeps his back to me as the walls of the office close in on us.
Is he waiting for me to make the first move?
Tipping my head back, I close my eyes, not having the strength to speak with them open. “ Did you always know?”
“ I knew many things.” Finally, the devil graces me with his voice—such a deep, alluring voice he has. The memory causes my thighs to tense up, trying to suppress the new pulse emerging deep within me while my eyes search to confirm his presence.
“ Did you know we were engaged?”
His short, sharp sigh makes it seem like my voice vexes him. “ I figured it out the moment you entered the office to be my tour guide.” He runs his fingers over my father ’ s desk like he just conquered a war against my family, and he ’ s assessing his spoils.
I feel like such a fool. My bottom lip trembles, eyes chase the exit of the door, knowing his guards are standing behind it. “ Why didn ’ t you tell me?” My voice has more cracks in it than a used and abused Texas road.
He taps his index finger on his thigh, as if deciding whether to stay still or flee without looking at me. “ It was more fun to trick you.” His answer is as nonchalant as a barista adding a touch too much cream to your coffee. Now it ’ s too cold and has no taste.
An utter waste.
That is exactly how I feel.
“ That ’ s all we ever were, right?” I challenge him. “ One huge game of trickery?” Tell me it ’ s a lie, and you spoke those vile words to push me away.
Silence.
I push off the wall, stepping into the center of the office. “ Dante came to me in the hospital. He told me where you were. He told me I gave you fuel to stay alive.”
Dash shakes his head in disgust as he huffs, “ Dante is a hopeless romantic who will never admit it, so he pushes his deep desire onto others.”
“ And what are you?” I ask, my tone defeated. I know he can look me in the face and lie, but I can ’ t help the hope that still clings to my mind. Wishing he wouldn ’ t lie and would tell me the truth. It feels like we ’ re swirling in a tragically beautiful ballet with me at the center stage.
His tense back arches, then he pivots to meet my gaze with eyes as icy as the void of deep space. “ A man that never loved you.” His eyes are like a chisel that etch his wicked words into his stony, lifeless heart.
Wow!
Why am I shocked the devil relishes in seeing me in pain?
Because you knew the devil was once an angel, so you tried to make him good again. A fall as great as the one from heaven breaks a part of the soul, fractures it so deep it can never be fixed.And the black ink covering his wing? Those stains are never coming out.
You have to stop trying to fix him, Mila.
He follows my tears as they stream down. Maybe I can cry a puddle large enough to drown in. “ That ’ s a lie,” I mutter.
A slight tip of his head has him studying me deeper. What he finds, he loathes. “ Is that what you told yourself when you fucked Dominic?”
A sensation like a bullet tearing through my heart makes it jerk suddenly. I feel dirty and ashamed.“You left,” I whisper in a plea for forgiveness.
“ Oh, little fox, you ’ re so predictable.” He belittles the nickname I used to cherish, “ Changing your coat, spreading your legs when you feel lonely.” Stop! “ You did it with Jared, then me, and as soon as I left, you ran to Dominic. It ’ s pathetic. You think I want to be married to you?” He bristles and rolls his eyes as if they were the hand of God flicking me off his throne.
I wish I could swallow down the pained cry that flees my lungs. “ It ’ s been years. You left me! You abandoned me despite my desperate pleas.”
Dash grabs his cuff links. “ And yet I remained loyal.” He mutters under his breath.
“ You… you…” Shock renders my tongue into putty. “ You left with Casandra. You kissed her!” My eyes narrow, and I see through his walls. I see the pained, broken prince who did, in fact, lie to me.
Dante was correct. So was Dash. The past was a game of trickery, but the final trick was to protect me.
It was all a lie. He kissed Casandra to push me away because he knew he was leaving that night.
I wish I knew.
“ You should have just told me. I would have waited.”
“ And you should have remained loyal, but what can I expect from a creature who roams aimlessly,” he rolls his eyes, “ searching and stealing from others in order to survive a long, cold winter?”
“ You ’ re a bastard.” I hold my inhale, forming it into a shield over my chest.
“ And you ’ re a witch!” He roars, breaking his cold mask to reveal his grief. “ A thief in the goddamn night! But guess what,” he snorts, “ I don ’ t need what you stole. I ’ m better off without it.”
Without your heart?
Dash stayed true to me, to us. He hasn ’ t fucked around. I hug myself, nails digging into my skin, and as I scratch it, I feel grimy. His eyes follow the marks I leave on my arms, but unlike last time, he doesn ’ t stop me from hurting myself.
He really doesn ’ t care anymore.
“ I would have waited for you.” I step closer, eyes drinking him in. He ’ s changed so much; he was always secretive and cold, but now he ’ s glued himself back together with the agony of his pain.
He turned his desire and fury, the devotion we had to one another, into ink and marked himself with it, staining and destroying what I once loved.He's tried to use that black hatred to write over what we had.
I don't want to let the ink seep in, but how can I stop it now that he has spilled it and tossed it back into my soul to absorb?
I brace myself for the anger that is about to be unleashed as his jaw clenches tightly. I can ’ t say I don ’ t deserve it. “ Now you will know how I feel.” He grins.
The heaviness on my chest is unlike anything I ’ ve encountered before, making each inhale seem like an incredible task.
He waited, fought to stay alive, only to come back and find out I had been with Dom.
“ I ’ m not the only one at fault.” I move closer, yet he moves back. “ You should have been honest with me.”
“ I ’ ve always been honest.”
“ Through tricks and lies!”
“ It ’ s my nature, and yours is to run into the arms of another. What ’ s done is done.”
“ Dash, don ’ t be like that.”
“ I don ’ t want to speak to you or be seen with you!” He jabs a finger into the air towards me. “ You disgust me.”
“ And a part of you disgusts yourself.” I retort.
His eyes darken in warning.
I can ’ t stop. “ We ’ ve always seen what no one else does. You can ’ t deny it.”
“ I see the dirtiness in you, only this time, I don ’ t care to clean it up.” His eyes look away from me and towards the door. “ We will attend the same school. You will be the perfect little doll. When we need to make a public appearance, we will; you will smile and nod, and you will not fucking touch me. You stand by my side and do nothing else. Nothing. Exactly what you are to me.”
“ Nothing? A splinter is nothing until the pain persists.” God, he ’ s so hurt, and I know I ’ m to blame for that. “ Don ’ t do this. Let ’ s just talk.” I don ’ t want to run into your arms, but I also don ’ t want to be kicked as I fall at your feet.
“ You think you affect me, that one day I will want to pluck you out of my flesh?” He is so cold his words induce frostbite so deep I know I will have to cut away the parts of me he just destroyed. There is no saving them, they would only turn the rest of me toxic.
He boils over as he leans closer to me. “ I ’ ve been shot, stabbed, beaten, tortured. Your little thorns attached to rose-petal lips mean nothing. I don't feel them as I step on them, on you, Mila. You are nothing; your feelings mean nothing because they are as interchangeable as batteries in an outdated machine that hungers for more. You run to others for comfort. You can run to another again. I ’ m warning you, don ’ t embarrass me.”
Each word erects an iron wall in my mind, caging me. It ’ s my worst fear come true. Forever trapped in this life with someone who doesn ’ t see me. I ’ d take his hate over this. I just want to be seen and heard.
“ Why don ’ t you just help me escape, then? Marry who you want.” I whisper as I swipe away burning tears, wishing I didn ’ t give him a choice. The idea of him marrying someone else is unfathomable.
“ Because you ’ re too much fun to play with, Mila. Just because I can ’ t stand the sight of you doesn ’ t mean I will let you go and live your merry life.” He walks to the door, ready to leave me bleeding out on the floor.
“ I ’ d rather fuck a man who can voice his love for me than sleep with one who is too cowardly, too,” I shout. My bravery stuns both him and me. He grips the handle with so much pressure that I ’ m sure it has molded into his hand.
I wait, hoping to hear his fury. One deep breath has his back widening. He swings the door open and leaves me feeling more dead than I ever have felt before.