37. Chapter 37
Chapter 37
Avery
After a sleepless night and an early flight filled with turbulence, to say I’m exhausted is an understatement. I’m not ready to face my mother and her questions about my missing guest. I’m not ready to put on a formal gown and heels and face hundreds of curious strangers tonight. I just want to sleep for a week, but I know if I try, I’ll just be haunted by the image of Corbin sitting motionless, making no move to stop me from leaving. Every time I remember it, I need to fight back the urge to cry. My eyes are already swollen and red from all the crying I did last night. I’m glad Cass is picking me up from the airport and not my mother. I need a little more time before facing her.
I make my way through the terminal and outside to where Cass is waiting. She takes one look at my face and her smile disappears.
“Don’t ask,” I say, my voice wobbling a little.
“That mother fucker,” she says, loading my bags into the trunk of her car with more force than necessary. “I’ll kick his ass.”
I almost laugh at the murderous rage in her voice. It’s the first time I’ve so much as cracked a smile since Corbin came home last night.
“I’ll be okay,” I say as we climb into the car.
Cass talks as she pulls away from the curb and fights her way through traffic. “Tell me everything so I can decide how painful to make his death.”
“I love you,” I say. “I wish I liked vaginas.”
“Me too, sweetie,” she says, patting my hand where it rests on my leg. “Boys are dumb.”
“They really are.”
I tell Cass everything that happened over the past week, including my realization that I was falling for Corbin. I end it with a recap of last night’s conversation.
“So, I left,” I say. “And he didn’t try to stop me. ”
“What a jackass,” she says. “Who does he think he is? He doesn’t deserve you.”
I think back to the day when Corbin first admitted he had feelings for me. I told him I deserved more than what he gave me. He’d agreed, but when I told him he deserved more, he’d stayed silent. I tried so many times to show Corbin what we could be together, but he didn’t want it badly enough to fight for it. As much as it hurts, I know I can’t make him fight for something he doesn’t believe in.
The day passes with agonizing slowness once I get to my mother’s house. I can’t help but wish I was back in my apartment in Boston. I just want to be alone so I can wallow in peace. I wander through the massive house, wondering why it no longer feels like home. My mother and I moved here after my father died. I think she wanted a fresh start somewhere that didn’t hold the memories of him. I hadn’t understood it at the time, but I get it now. The idea of staying in a house filled with memories of something I can never have again hurts.
I wonder what I’m going to do when I get back to Boston. Can I go back to Elemental Ink and continue to be Corbin’s apprentice after everything that happened? I don’t see how I can work alongside him with my heart in shreds this way. And will Corbin even want me there?
When my mom comes home in the early afternoon, I do my best to put on a cheerful front for her sake. I don’t need her worrying about me more than she already does. Not that it works because she immediately asks me if I’ve been getting enough sleep and whether I’m taking the vitamins she recommended.
“I’m fine, Mom,” I say.
She eyes me for a long moment before hugging me again. “I’m so glad you’re home,” she says. “I miss you.”
As much as I hate the smothering worry she pushes on me, I’ve got to admit it feels nice to hug my mom. Especially after the last 24 hours.
“I miss you, too,” I say.
She pulls back and studies my face. “You sure you’re okay?” she asks. “No headaches, right?”
I roll my eyes. “I’m fine, Mom. No headaches. No blurred vision. No dizziness. No balance issues.”
She smiles ruefully. “I’m sorry, honey. You know I worry too much.”
“I know. But I really am fine. I promise.”
She nods. “Good.” She turns and puts an arm around my shoulders, steering me toward her room. “You’re healthy. But are you happy?”
I open my mouth to give her the automatic reply I always give her, but the word lodges in my throat. Mom turns to look at me, concern etched on her face.
“What is it, honey? Does it have anything to do with your missing guest?”
Sighing, I nod. “Yeah.”
She eyes me for a long moment. “A boy?”
I almost laugh at the idea of referring to Corbin as a boy. “More like a man, Mom. ”
She waves a dismissive hand. “They’re all boys,” she says. “No matter how old they get, some part of them will never grow up. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it does make loving them difficult sometimes.”
“Was Dad like that?” I ask.
Her expression goes soft and dreamy, and for a moment she looks so much younger than her 58 years that I’m struck speechless.
“Your father,” she says. “He was a good man.” She shakes her head, smiling wistfully. “But my god, he never did grow up. Used to drive me crazy.”
I try to remember my Dad the way she describes him, but all I remember is a larger-than-life man who loved to laugh. He was tall, with a trim figure but shoulders broad enough to let me sit on them so I could pretend to fly when I was six.
“I miss him,” I say.
“Me, too.”
She takes a deep breath and her smile firms up a little. “If that boy is too dumb to know what he’s missing, he doesn’t deserve your tears.”
She smooths her thumb lightly over the puffy circles under my eyes. “I’ve got an eye mask that’ll fix that right up,” she say softly. “Take a nap and a bubble bath and forget all about him for the next 24 hours. Mom’s orders.”
I stupidly feel like crying again, so I drop my head onto her shoulder and let her hold me for a moment like she did when I was little .
“Thanks, Mom,” I say. “I think this one’s going to take more than a day to recover from, but I’ll be okay. Eventually.”
“I know you will,” she says. “You’re a Bradshaw woman. We’re tough.”