68. In Which a Soundless Answer Meets a Desperate Need
Chapter 68
In Which a Soundless Answer Meets a Desperate Need
M ore than a week had passed without a word from Liam. When Maximus had flashed them back to his home, the anger that erupted from Camulos and Evander detonated in the great room. Camulos shoved Maximus hard enough to topple him, and the punch that followed left Max’s lip bloodied and his right eye swollen. Leaving Maximus to himself, they had set up camp in Evander’s home. Daily, Evander and Camulos tried to communicate with Liam, but he had severed the bond. It had been radio silence since they were forced to leave him to Valerius.
Camulos dealt with his frustration by training in the yard. Evander had spent more time pacing his study than he should have, and Ellie tried her best to take care of her men. Tonight, she set their meals in the places they frequented and went to bed, knowing they would eat when they were hungry.
It was well past midnight when Evander made his way to his chambers. His home was a replica of his townhome in London. Sparse in furnishings since he was rarely in residence, but with enough rooms he and Ellie had a small wing to themselves. In any other situation, he would have relished the uninterrupted time with her—and taken advantage of her nearness nightly in his bed—but as it was, they had barely touched. Worrying about finding Liam and how to breach the prisons of Tartarus consumed their days. Camulos was certain Pegones the Centaur had taken Callassa to the Dark Oracle, which meant Liam would follow. Evander couldn’t comprehend the fact that Liam was mated, and not just mated, but siren. He didn’t care what species Liam was, but seeing him begging on his knees for help to save his mate haunted him.
His chambers were dark tonight as Ellie lay sleeping in his bed. A half-smile pulled at his mouth as he began taking off his armor. He tried to be as quiet as possible so as not to wake her, but she moved. Her legs slid against the sheets, rustling them as she shifted positions. The sound made his heart swell as he moved around the familiar room. Her things lined up next to his. Her scent, that intoxicating mix of citrus and wood smoke, softly permeated his room. Dressed now in his tunic, Evander padded over to her side of the bed. He wanted to watch her momentarily before he took off his arm, climbed in beside her, and gathered her to him as he had done every night since they came here. A soft whimper escaped her, and her head rustled against the pillow. Her forehead creased as she dreamed. Overcome with the sudden need to touch her cheek, he stroked her cheekbone with his thumb. Her eyelids flew open as his thumb stroked back over the rise, and she jerked forward to sit up. In one fluid motion, she scampered to the middle of his oversized bed. Her breathing was rapid, and he could hear her heartbeat fluttering against her chest like a caged bird. Taking in a gasping breath, Ellie whipped her head in his direction.
“Ellie.” His whisper sounded harsh in the dark. “I’m sorry. It’s me. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“Oh, god!”
“It’s me, Ellie,” he cooed. “It’s me. You’re safe.” Evander reached out to touch her arm, and she recoiled away from him.
“It’s you. God, it’s you.”
“Yes, it’s me. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you, you just looked so lovely—what?”
“Evander? Can you not look at me?” The request came out breathless as she closed her eyes, wrapping the blankets tighter.
He sat on the side of the bed as Ellie placed both sets of fingers over her mouth and exhaled. Shifting her weight, she let out a groan and closed her eyes.
“Can I ask why? Did I do something?”
She looked as though she was fairly annoyed. If Evander were honest with himself, he had unintentionally been neglecting her. He didn’t think she minded as she enjoyed her own company, but judging by this reaction, she did. Ellie was shaking her head, her curls bobbing side to side.
“I’m such an idiot. I’m sorry, this was such a dumb idea. I didn’t want to fall asleep, but then you came in. I shouldn’t be like this with you. Not now. Not after all that’s happened.” She glanced over at him.
A wave of guilt washed over him as she shrugged, pulling the coverlet tighter. He had selfishly wanted her in his bed, at his side, in his arms. But he hadn’t asked her what she wanted; he assumed, and he now realized he assumed wrong.
“You’re right, this is too much too fast. I can give you this room and find somewhere else to sleep.” His hand found its way through his hair.
Ellie shook her head. “No, I want you to stay. I just don’t want to sleep next to you.” Leaning forward, she adjusted her weight again. When she looked up at him this time, she was chewing on the inside of her cheek.
“I don’t understand.”
Ellie groaned and looked down at her hands. Her scent was potent, pulling him in. He wanted nothing more than to bury his nose in her hair and breathe her in.
“I’m selfish, Evander.”
In all the time he had known her, one thing he had learned was to be quiet. She would eventually tell him precisely what she was thinking but she needed a moment to collect her thoughts. He breathed in her scent and waited.
“I’m selfish.” A little whimper left her lips, and he noticed as she leaned forward, she didn’t have on her chemise. Her bare back curved gracefully as she placed her head in her hands, her elbows on her coverlet covered thighs. His eyes followed the slope down to where those delectable hips sat, caressed by his sheets and firmly held by his mattress. He suddenly envied his mattress.
“You have been so worried about Liam, and rightly so, but I—” She looked up at him and bit her lip. Evander watched as she shifted her weight again. Her fingertips danced along her clavicle. “I was thinking about you, Evander. Thinking about when I kissed you. I selfishly wanted to be near you, to give you some comfort and now, I just feel silly. You’re hurting, and all I can think about is how I want you.”
A burst of air slipped out of him. “Oh.” Leaning further onto the mattress, he held her gaze and watched delightfully as her pupils dilated.
“You need a level head. I’m naked. I came to bed naked because I was thinking about us, just us. But the longer I lay here the worse that idea became, and I meant to get up, but then I fell asleep. You don’t need me in your bed like this, desperate for you. So, don’t look at me because I want you, and I’m embarrassed, and that’s not what you need right now. You need comfort, not sex. I’ll find my nightgown and then you can . . .”
“You’re desperate for me?” he interrupted.
Ellie let out a little sigh and wiggled further from him.
“Darling, you are my comfort.”
Reaching out a hand, he grasped hers, and this time, she allowed him. He walked his fingers up her hand to her wrist, to her forearm. He tugged on her arm with a saucy smirk, pulling her to him. A gasp squeaked out as he brought her closer. One finger traced the curve of her spine as she shivered. Ellie gave him a sideways glance. A pretty blush colored her cheeks.
“You need to stop looking at me like that.” Teeth grazed her bottom lip.
Evander arched a brow and held her captive with a scandalous grin. “Like what?”
“Like I’m on the menu,” Ellie breathed. “Let me find my nightgown.”
“Oh, but you are on the menu,” he murmured, settling his lips close to her ear, “and I’m starving.”
She laughed and rolled her eyes. Her mouth inches from his, Evander grinned like a fool. Placing a kiss on one cheek, then the other, he reveled in the soft little noises floating out of her. Whipping his tunic off and her covers back, he settled himself beside her, trailing his fingertips along her collarbone, delighting in the way she squirmed.
“You came to bed without a stitch of anything, and you expected me not to want you?” he whispered into her hair as he trailed his fingers back and forth. Ellie wiggled under him, slipping her legs against the sheets.
“I have my nightgown somewhere and was going to put it back on but closed my eyes . . .” she admitted and lowered her gaze.
“If I had known what awaited me, I would have come to bed sooner.” He nuzzled her jaw as a blush crawled up her cheeks. “Naughty girl. You were making your little noises and moving about. Were you dreaming about something? Was it me?”
Ellie whimpered as he ran his nose alongside hers, refusing to kiss her. She licked her bottom lip.
“Brownies. I vividly remember brownies,” she said with a lift of her chin.
Oh, that’s the game she wants to play?
A half-laugh flew out of his mouth. “Brownies?”
She nodded her head vigorously as he passed his lips close to hers. Evander chuckled low when Ellie let out a grunt.
“Of course. And a scoop of ice cream.”
Clicking his tongue against his teeth, he lowered his chin. “Right.”
He kissed softly, slowly against her jaw, following down to her neck. Her pink tongue darted out, and he resisted the urge to ravage that sinful mouth of hers. He was enjoying pulling moans from her, feeling her arch under him. Ellie pursed her lips together and opened her eyes.
“Kiss me,” she whispered, causing a sly smile to curl his lips.
“Tell me where.”
Ellie panted as she tried to adjust herself under him. He snickered at her frustrated grunt. This was going to be fun, making her say what she wanted. Every response, every little movement set fire in his veins, and he wanted nothing more than to claim her, but something about making her desperate thrilled him. Passing his mouth over hers once more, he slipped lower. He placed soft, ghost-like kisses on her neck, the hollow of her throat, in between her breasts. Ellie reached for him, and he pushed her hands away. When she did again, he grabbed both, pinning them above her head.
“Ah, ah, Miss Ellie. Keep them there,” he rasped. She gave her head a shake and threaded her fingers through his hair. He roughly pinned them over her head again. “You little minx. Following directions is not your strong suit.”
He nipped at her bottom lip. “Tell me, what fantasy whirling in that beautiful mind of yours were you dreaming about?”
“I told you.” She arched her back as he trailed his fingers down her arms. “Brownies.”
“Mmm, sure.”
Every moan or whimper she made was euphoric. He was becoming a man obsessed with any noise she uttered while under him.
“Don’t move,” he demanded. The smirk that greeted him spurred him further.
“You think you can just dominate me?”
He ran his lips lightly over the column of her tender neck, feeling her pulse race, her shivers as he laid soft kisses on her heated skin. Each touched cause sparks to fly like embers, setting every cell in him ablaze.
“Yes.” He breathed into the sensitive place behind her ear. Ellie gasped. “Outside these chambers, I am at your mercy. You own me.” Lifting his head, Evander gazed down at her. Her eyes were glossy, pupils swallowing up the pewter color. He swept several wayward curls from her temple. “In here, I intend to worship at your altar, to show you how it feels to be loved. Out there, I’ll gladly let you ruin me.”
He moved down her body, leaving burning kisses until he was certain she would combust. He passed by the side of her breast, and Ellie let out a groan. His lips found their way to her stomach, and she flexed as he nipped. Letting his fangs graze across her skin elicited a strangled moan. Her hips jerked as his mouth came closer to where she wanted him. Giving her what she wanted was for last time; this time, he would deny her any contact until she could no longer take it. He wanted her begging. Slipping his lips across her stomach, he nipped at her hip, and Ellie moaned, her legs falling open wantonly.
“Was it my mouth you were dreaming of?” he asked innocently as he laid a kiss on one hip.
“I told you”—her voice thick and breathy—“brownies. Warm, thick, dark brownies.”
Jerking his head up, he playfully narrowed his eyes. “Dark?”
Ellie shrugged one shoulder. “Maybe it was a blondie.”
“Oh, you little minx,” he mumbled into her skin as she laughed. “You’ll pay dearly for that.”
He traveled a line from her belly button back down toward her center; the smell of her desire was intoxicating. Almost as good as her scent that now permeated the room. It wouldn’t take but a minute before he could bring her to orgasm if he wanted. The more frustrated the moans, the more he wanted to prolong her torture. He nipped her inner thigh, and for a moment, Ellie held her breath.
“Was it my hands?” He lightly stroked over her breast, her nipples in tight peaks. Ellie grunted as she tried to move to get more contact. Bringing his hands down to her hips, he gripped them as he licked a line up her thigh, dragging a fang along her hip. This time, the grunt was pure frustration. Moving her hips to force him to comply, he denied her and placed a kiss on her opposite thigh.
“Mmm,” he teased, his hand gliding over her as he slid hip to hip. Her teeth knocked together. “Say what you want.”
Ellie gripped the sheet and nodded.
“Ask.”
She opened her mouth to say something, but she snapped it closed. He knew she was blushing, but he wanted her to participate; no needed her to. Hearing her soft little moans, having her tell him exactly how he could please her, that is what he craved. Too many times sex had happened to her instead of her fully participating in it. But Evander never wanted her to feel anything but worshipped in his bed. He needed her to be present, to ask for what she wanted. Ask, so he could watch enraptured as her breath hitched each time he encouraged her. Not just because it thrilled him to hear her breathless drawl say naughty things, but because she deserved to claim that part of herself back. He ran his hand lightly over her center, and Ellie shuddered, lifting her hips off the bed, heels digging in.
“Ask.”
“I want you,” she rasped breathlessly.
“Yes, I know. Where?” He placed his mouth inches from her apex, her scent driving him mad. He teasingly kissed her thigh.
“Damn it,” Ellie spat out.
Dragging one finger over her slit, his touch a whisper. Ellie grumbled, rotating her hips, trying her best to direct him without words.
“Where?” He would not let her be passive. She had to verbalize her wants. He needed to hear her say it, direct him, and tell him how she desired their game to go. Ellie groaned and gathered the sheets in her hands.
“Here?” His tongue found her clit, and her hips cleared the bed, sensitive now. “Is this it?”
“Fuck,” Ellie spat out. “Evander . . . please.”
“Say it, Ellie.”
She rolled her hips.
“You need to tell me. Be precise.”
“I want your mouth on my clit.”
“That’s my girl.”
He sealed his mouth over her and plunged his tongue into her depths. Grabbing her thighs, he clamped down. Wild and breathless, she gripped his hair, tugging, holding him in place, desperate for release. His shoulders supported her thighs. His back arched when her toes threaded through his plumage, enjoying the sensation on his wings. Shaking as she neared her orgasm, he stopped, and lifted his head. Ellie let out a strangled curse. Again, his mouth found her and again brought her to the brink, only to stop and release. When he started using his fingers, her legs shook as he brought her close to the edge and stopped.
“Evander, please . . . god dammit . . . please. I want to come.” She protested the loss as he chuckled darkly.
“Do you know how utterly wild you look? So desperate, so needy, and all for me. If you could see what I see . . . so damn beautiful.”
When he didn’t return to where she wanted him the most, Ellie rolled, catching him off guard. Now, on top, panting, she smiled wickedly down at him. A position, he had to admit, held more promise than the other. She was taking control, and that was turning him into a very desperate man. A cheeky smile curled his lips as her gaze met his.
“You want to know what turns me on?” she said, her teeth grazing her bottom lip.
He nodded and ran his hands up the back of her thighs.
“You,” she whispered. “You saying, ‘good girl.’ Your words. I fucking love it.”
He gripped her hips, fingers digging into her ample flash.
“Sit,” he commanded. Sinful delight coursed through him at her little gasp. “You want to come? Sit, Ellie.” His fingertips caressed her hips—one set flesh, the other cool metal—causing her to tremble as she hovered.
“I’ll crush you.” Slight fear lit her eyes.
Evander breathed a half-laugh. “Hardly. I’ll die a happy man. Suffocate me, Ellie. Don’t let me come up for air until you come.”
She chewed on her lip, contemplating. It had to be her choice. This was a give and take. Push and pull. What happened between them would always follow her lead. As much as he wanted to grab her and force her to comply, he wouldn’t.
“Sit. Let go, Ellie. I’ve got you. I want you this way. Sit. I want you to come undone on my tongue.”
The moan that came from her lips had his cock so hard he was in agony. Running his fingernails up her hips, listening to her breath catch, and feeling her skin prickle sent shocks through him. Tentatively, Ellie lowered herself down. He caressed her thighs until she was in position, then he devoured her. Growling as her scent and her taste flooded around him, he gripped, holding her in place. Ellie bucked. Her strangled moans, that sound he craved most of all, echoed in the room. By the gods, he could listen to that sound until the stars burned out. When she was close, she ground down, refusing to allow him to deny her. His fingers dug into her soft flesh as her thighs squeezed his ears. He lost himself as she rocked against him, he was only her humble servant now. This was the closest he would get to the Elysian Fields without his soul. Clutching her, he refused to let her escape his relentless tongue. He grazed her swollen clit with his teeth and was rewarded with an incoherent word. She was desperate and needy as she rode his face. Almost there. Ellie exploded around him, leaving this realm for a few moments as she fell apart. Panting, she leaned forward, her ass in the air as she let out a half-laugh and shuddered. Moving out from under her, he brushed her hair over her shoulder.
“Damn. Fuck Zeus. You are the entirety of my world, darling.”
She was breathing heavily, unwilling to move. But he wasn’t done.
“Best grab the headboard, Ellie,” he commanded. This time, she complied, reaching out and gripping the wood. He placed a kiss on her spine as she rocked back. “Remember when you said you wanted me soft and slow or fucking you hard?”
Ellie could do nothing but nod.
“Tonight, you set the pace. Do you want me to fuck you? Or do you want me slow.”
She nodded again.
“Choose.” He growled as he kissed her back, his hands traveling everywhere.
“Hard. Fuck me hard.”
Ellie hissed, whining as he gripped her once more and thrust into her, not waiting for her to adjust to his size. She pushed her hips back against him, and it drove the primal need he had to see her entirely fall apart because of him. Holding just right, he drilled into her over and over. Reaching forward, his hands covered hers on the headboard, holding her to him—no room for escape from his unrelenting pace.
“So good. Gods, you feel so good,” he groaned, drilling harder. He could feel her losing control around him, gripping him, shaking as she neared her orgasm. “You are taking me so well, Ellie. Good fucking girl.”
She rocked; that motion that drove him crazy before had him absolutely out of his mind now. With each pounding thrust, she flexed back. He was losing control. Snowflakes fell around them, and he pulled her closer, her back resting against his chest. She reached back, threading her fingers through his hair, falling apart around him. Evander let out a guttural sound deep in his chest and slammed into her. Convulsing, he went mad for a moment as he came hard inside her; he swore he saw sparks flying in the air. His forehead came to rest between her shoulders. Her skin was slick with sweat as he pulsated for a few more seconds. Her scent clung to the air, filling his senses.
Gods, she would be the death of him.
They both collapsed on the bed. Ellie grunted from under him, and he rolled to the side.
“Holy shit,” she whispered, her breathing labored. Evander lay on his back for a few minutes longer before he pulled her to him. Her hand rested on his chest, her head half on skin, half on the strap to his arm. His wings spread under them, turned up at the bottoms, her legs brushing the feathers.
“You are exquisite. Just perfect,” he said between shallow breaths. “All mine.”
“That may have been better than brownies,” she said beside him.
He shot her a look as she coyly grinned up at him. “May have been?” He reached down and playfully swatted her bare ass.
Ellie erupted into giggles. “I might need to do it again. You know, test the theory.”
He grumbled and pulled her closer as she buried her face in his chest, laughing. “You little minx,” he said into her hair.
They lay together for several moments, basking in the glow. Lazy strokes of his thumb lulled her almost to sleep when he moved.
“You’re leaving?” Ellie asked, her eyes searching his. Shaking his head, he gripped her chin. He didn’t know what sparked the question. She had spent every night in his bed, but he reassured her anyway.
“Of course not, darling.” Rubbing his calloused thumb along her bottom lip. “My arm.” Waving his prosthetic arm, he set about unfastening the bands. Ellie sat up and helped him. When he had set it aside, he joined her back in bed, and she immediately returned to her position—cheek on his chest, arm around him, body molded to his.
“I don’t know why I panicked for a second,” she said and kissed his chest, her finger tracing the epsilon letter of his mark. “I don’t want to sleep without you. I’ve grown so used to you beside me.” She looked up at him sleepily, and he watched a lazy smile spread across her face. She pulled his wing over them like a coverlet, cocooning them in down. Tucking her closer, he kissed the top of her head and smoothed her wild curls.
“I love you too, Ellie,” he whispered into her hair.