75. In Which to Breathe is to Live
Chapter 75
In Which to Breathe is to Live
Palace of Hades in the Underworld
“ B reathe!” His scream rattled the room.
Utter chaos erupted all around him; shapes and figures moving in blurs as he held her to his chest.
“Breathe!”
Someone was screaming orders, the words falling like glass, shattering to the floor as he clutched her to his chest.
“Gods, breathe,” he whimpered, his face in her hair, begging her to gasp for oxygen.
Callassa was barking orders as daemons ran and flapped around them. They laid Camulos on the table next to her, bloodied and yelling. One daemon ran into the other, and herbs flew into the air, silently falling to the ground one by one.
“Ellie!” he roared.
His body shook as her head rolled back, lifeless. Her limp arms held out on either side, rubber and motionless. Carefully, Evander laid her on the table while daemons and Persephone scrambled around him. He yanked the dagger from her chest and tossed it to the floor. His hand felt around her, pushing on her skin, her chest, his mouth over hers, trying to breathe life from his body into hers. Desperate and helpless, the roar that left him shook the room as rubble fell. Someone was putting herbs on her, hands flying across. He placed his head on her chest, begging her to breathe. The stillness of her heart sent him to his knees, clutching her hand.
Her warm hand.
Persephone yelled something, and Callassa responded, her face coming into view, streaked with blood. The din of pain and urgency danced around him, rustling the air like dry leaves. But he heard only silence.
No heartbeat.
No pulse.
No breath.
Evander’s eyes level with her chest; he begged her to breathe again, watching with such intensity, willing life back into her.
Nothing.
“No, no, no, no!” He covered her body with his own, his wings spread over her. “You can’t go. You can’t leave me. I waited so long to find you. Come back. Please. Zeus! Gods! Someone! Bring her back.”
Sobs racked him, hot tears slipping down his face, soaking into her battle dress. The dress they gave her when the world was happy.
“I’m so sorry.”
The ground shook violently under his knees, rubble continuing to fall. Her body was warm under his cheek. His powerful hands gripped her, unable to save her. Bringing his head up, he placed his forehead to hers.
“Please, don’t leave me.”
Her color hadn’t drained yet, her skin warm and pliable, her cheeks bright pink from the exertion of the fight, as if even her body refused to believe she was dead.
Dead.
His Ellie was dead.
Willing her to breathe once more, begging as hot tears fell down his face, landing on hers. His body was rigid, unmovable, believing if he held her and prayed enough, her heart would beat again.
“Evander.” A sob came from somewhere as Callassa knelt beside him.
She softly touched his shoulder. He understood. Understood they had to work; needed room. Rising, Evander stumbled backward, her warm hand slipping out of his and fell off the table with a thump. No longer anchored to her, he floated off the world’s edge. Stumbling, trying to grab something, he crashed into a cabinet of dried herbs and tinctures. Gripping the wood was the only thing keeping him from free-falling into the abyss threatening to swallow him whole. Evander dug his fingernails into the varnish as his world spiraled out of control.
“I got you, deartháir .” The words spun from far away as he looked into kind hazel eyes with gold flecks.
“Liam,” he breathed, gripping his shoulder, a life raft floating out in the nothingness to find him. Evander collapsed onto the floor, Liam falling with him, his hands clasping his, holding him, securing him as darkness surrounded them. Reaching around, he held onto Liam’s waist. Sobs wrestled through Evander’s body, mixed with roars of agony. His entire being rattled as wave after wave of grief violently slammed into him. Liam pulled him close, holding on, letting him fall apart.
“I know,” he was saying to Evander’s hunched back as the sobs racked him. His soul felt as though it was once again ripped from his body, gasping for air as the relentless waves came. The two men stayed in the middle of the floor as daemons spoke their native tongue around them, scurrying and flapping. Evander’s massive wings wrapped around the pair, seeking comfort from the agony.
Camulos groaned as one daemon laid herbs on his gaping wound. He yelled something that rumbled through the chaos of grief. Reaching out, he tried to touch Ellie but wasn’t close enough. Fresh, hot tears flowed over Evander’s shoulder, dropping onto the floor as someone else’s pressure entered the huddle. Feeling Callassa, he pulled her to him, another anchor keeping him in this mortal plane—guilt, fresh like a wound, cut through him.
Ellie had shielded him from Athena, from being turned into shadows, and in saving him, Athena had her sacrifice. He had tried to cross her shield with all his might, but she had somehow locked it. Forced him to watch in horrified terror as the dagger hit Ellie, sending her body jolting backward, spreading magic through her like copper lightning. Athena wanted a sacrifice, and she was always going to be it. He buried his head in Callassa’s shoulder, wrapping himself up into the only living part of her left. They stayed together on the floor, a pile of legs and arms, wings and heartache. Evander didn’t know how much time passed. Minutes? Hours? Days? He no longer cared.
He had wanted more time with her, refusing the council summons, making him think he had bought it. Camulos’ raspy voice fell on Evander’s ears.
“Come, Evander.” He was standing, holding his side, a fresh bandage wrapped around him. “We need to allow Persephone to prepare”—his voice cracked, and he wiped tears from his face—“we need to allow them to finish,” he choked out.
Liam moved under him, and Callassa stirred beside him. He must have risen to stand, his mind refusing to believe this was real. Hades stood in the doorway with an unreadable expression on his face. Taking a step, he felt his feet bolt to the floor, not wanting to leave her. Evander rushed to her and grabbed her hand.
Still warm.
Warmer than before.
Her cheeks were still pink.
His mind was playing cruel tricks on him; it had to be. Death did not lead to warmth, but he hoped all the same.
“She’s still warm.” Evander choked against the tears that flowed, not expecting an answer.
“All the power she had will need time to leave her body.” Camulos’ gentle voice came from somewhere near the doorway. The two men stood, waiting for him to say goodbye. Callassa was at Ellie’s side, holding her other hand. Turning back, Evander clasped her hand, bringing her fingers to his lips.
Leaning down, he whispered, “I will find you, Ellie. I will never stop searching the Underworld for you. My heart calls to yours; listen for it. I will find you. I will find you and bring you back to me.” Kissing her forehead and then her cheek, he promised, “I will find you.”
When he straightened, he wiped the tears that flowed and headed towards the door—walking past the company, following Hades. They traveled down the corridors to a small sitting room. The others seated themselves around a smaller table, but Evander stood.
“What do we do now?” Liam looked to Camulos and Hades, who were shaking their heads.
“I don’t know.” Camulos’s voice was low and pained as he wiped tears.
“She’ll never stop,” Evander said hopelessly, his back to them.
Standing before him was a portrait of Hades and Persephone smiling, looking lovingly at each other. The artist had chosen charcoal to capture the two of them. It was an incredible likeness. Persephone’s eyes, her lips, her delicate wings were all alive on the paper.
“She will, for the time being,” Hades remarked darkly.
“No, she won’t. She won’t unify the provinces unless she thinks she has won for the grievances we brought against her.” Evander spoke to the drawing.
“No!” Liam spat out. “I won’t let you go before the council in your state and subject yourself to Athena’s will in the name of some noble ideal.”
“You did.” Turning, he looked at the table of men. Men he admired and loved. His family.
“You traded yourself. Allowed yourself to be beaten and tortured to save your mate.” Taking a deep breath, he flung his hands out from him, his voice cracking. “Nymphs do not mate, but Ellie is mine. She is the very air that I breathe, and I am suffocating. I am lifeless without her. Darkness surrounds me because the only light in my life has been extinguished. Can’t you see—I was made whole, and now I am but half a man again?”
“I understand. I know you love her, but I can’t lose you too.”
Tears flowing down his cheeks, Evander whispered, “I have to find her.”
Hades glared at him. “You cannot bring her back. I won’t allow it. Once the Fates cut the cord, she will cross the River Acheron. You know you cannot return a soul once it has reached the Underworld.”
“I won’t need to bring her back if I’m Chthonian.”
“Absolutely not!” Liam shouted out, shooting to his feet.
“I started this by disobeying orders. I’m the reason Athena wants us all in the Shadow Realm. I’m the only way this can end.”
Liam pounded his fist on the table and stalked towards him.
“I have to pay my penance. The council has already summoned me. My heart is torn, Liam. Half of it sits dead on a table; the other half sits cold in my chest.”
“No!” Liam shouted and leapt forward, but it was too late. Evander was already gone, moving through time to the council.
Hades looked from Camulos to Liam. “If he tries to bring her back, I will have no choice but to imprison him.”
Looking at Liam, Camulos waved a hand, opening a portal. “I will go. He will need someone to speak to the council on his behalf, and I’m the commanding officer.”
“Camulos.” Liam’s sharp tone made him turn around. “Bring him back.”