Chapter 6
Chapter
Six
Chloe
“Are you ready?” Marena Rodriguez stood at the threshold of the Renewed Hope office.
She was an employee funded by the foundation to act as a family services liaison and came highly recommended by the city’s program for domestic violence awareness.
Her job provided transitional support and counseling for our residents and their children when they left the shelter.
She also acted as an observer for custody visits from a parent with a troubled background like ex-convicts, abusers who were seeking therapy, or anyone with a history that could endanger a child.
“Just about,” I told her. “Need to get him cleaned up. He’s a messy eater.”
I hated introducing a third party for Kolya’s first custody visit.
But I also shouldn’t let my weekend fling with him influence what I knew about him.
He’d been playing a part. Hell, I’d been playing a part.
This was real life. It was basic procedure.
Both Theo and Dora insisted. And after the whiplash his legal team gave mine the other day, putting a hold to his public claim as Sebastian’s biological father unless we joined the bratva, Kolya better fucking decide who and what he wanted to be in Sebastian’s life.
Theo derisively commented that Kolya probably had many enemies who would target us as payback and that was why public acknowledgement would only happen if Sebastian and I were part of the Zahkarov organization.
And what? Be reminded every day how disposable I was? I really should let this go.
No.
I shouldn’t. I built my life to avoid them. I survived them. The stigma of being a child of an affair, the shame I had to live with that my existence ruined families. Sometimes, I resented my mother for this.
“And how are you doing with Sebastian?” Marena entered my office.
I’d had a few sessions with her since the arbitration three weeks ago.
She’d been to my apartment for a housing environment check, so helpful in calming my doubts about being a mother.
In one of our sessions, we talked about the guilt I felt for leaving Sebastian with Dora for three months.
That I felt guilt, she said, showed that I cared as a mother, but my concerns were for his safety. That was a sacrifice because nowhere did I feel like abandoning him altogether.
“I’m doing better.” I lifted him off the feeding chair and put him on the makeshift baby-changing station I had in the corner. “He’s being exposed to more people and sounds, unlike when he was in hiding with Dora.” I grinned. “And he perks up when he sees me because he knows he’s getting food.”
Marena laughed. “Babies are simple creatures.”
“Yes, it’s the getting enough sleep while they’re always hungry that is the problem.
” An involuntary yawn stressed that fact as I made fast work of changing Sebastian’s diaper and cleaning him up in preparation to meet his dad.
After arbitration, Theo was quick to release the funds, but I knew it was from his personal account as we worked to figure out my place in King Industries.
I didn’t think I wanted to take an active role.
There was no official announcement yet because we were waiting for the Zahkarovs or Kolya to make his move when he found out I’d signed a covenant with Marriage Ink, but their camp was oddly quiet.
So Dora and I got to work on the shelter. We weren’t building from scratch, but we were taking over one that was heavily funded by the city and taking it fully private. She was to interview personnel, both old staff and new, while I mostly did paperwork for now.
“Just know that when you feel a crash-out coming, ask for help. Even call 911.”
I glanced up from Sebastian and I was smacked with how put together Marena was in her charcoal suit over a white blouse.
The pencil-cut skirt hugged her hips. And her dark cat-eye glasses added intelligence and sultriness to her oval face.
She said she was thirty-nine, but she didn’t look a day over thirty.
Since reuniting with Sebastian, I’d barely paid attention to my looks.
Theo came in the other day and unsuccessfully kept a straight face as he gestured to mushed-up cereal on the side of my hair.
Other times I reeked of baby vomit, but in this one instance, because I was meeting Kolya, I suddenly cared, especially if Marena would be there.
I shook that thought out of my head. “Did you get a lot of those?”
“Moms being overwhelmed? Of course. Hospital emergency rooms receive a share of them too. I had a case when the mom just walked into the ER with her baby and cried that she needed help because she didn’t know what to do.
The nurses sprang into action, put her in a room and let her sleep while they passed around the baby. ”
“I’d like them to have a safe space here,” I murmured.
She smiled. “We’ll work on that program. Don’t be shocked if you get overwhelmed with mothers needing help.”
I laughed. “Well, that chamomile tea you gave me is helping me relax.”
“I’ve got boxes of it in my office,” Marena said. “Just help yourself to it.”
On our way out to meet Kolya, we passed by Dora’s office. Hers was larger and had see-through windows on both sides. She was the program director and needed to look accessible.
“We’re leaving to meet his dad,” I told her, poking my head into her office where she was interviewing for the managerial positions.
“Good luck,” Dora quipped.
I’d been on tenterhooks since Kolya texted me about setting up the first custody visit.
Several times, I thought he’d given up and said, fuck it, but I’d seen the determination in his eyes when he was at the apartment and at the arbitration.
He might have been caught off guard when he found out he had a son.
I had a feeling when he turned up at the apartment demanding to see Sebastian, that wasn’t his usual MO.
Kolya was a revered bratva enforcer. He was used to meticulous planning.
Which was probably the reason for Zahkarov’s silence. They were regrouping.
Hudson was my bodyguard for the day, and he had the SUV already waiting.
I was still getting used to this new life.
No more riding subways, ride share, or driving a vehicle that was one car inspection away from needing an engine replacement.
The trade-off? King Industries’ publicity department scrutinized my every move.
And for someone like me who had been used to hiding all my life, the experience was similar to those dreams where you walked around naked.
For Kolya’s first custody visit, it was in the agreement that it should be a neutral location. We returned to the same building where we had the arbitration, but went straight to the penthouse this time. He was already there, staring out into the Manhattan skyline.
He faced us as we stepped out of the elevator.
He wasn’t garbed in all black or even wearing a suit.
He was in a white T-shirt and gray sweatpants and sneakers.
Very weekend daddy attire. It made me feel better about my mommy clothes of yoga pants and a sweatshirt.
If I was going to crawl on the floor or chase my boy, I wanted to be comfortable.
Kolya’s eyes sought my face first, then dropped to Sebastian. As he approached, the corner of his mouth kicked up.
I was about to introduce Marena when she intercepted Kolya, extending a hand. “My name is Marena Rodriguez. I’m—”
“I know who you are,” Kolya cut her off in a flat voice. “You’re here to make sure I behave.”
He stared at her outstretched hand several seconds more than was courteous, and I held my breath. Why was he antagonizing Marena?
I released the tensed-up breath when he acknowledged the handshake.
“I’m not here as your enemy, Mr. Petrov. My report is unbiased.”
“Meaning?” he asked, but he wasn’t looking at her. He’d already dismissed her, and his full attention was on Sebastian. He stopped a foot in front of the stroller. “Is he still suspicious of strangers?”
“Not like he was the first time you saw him.”
Sebastian peeked up at Kolya but only gave him a passing glance before his focus diverted to the new space.
Specifically, at the play area in the center of the penthouse, which was clearly set up just for this meeting.
I didn’t know how much Theo paid Margo for the covenant, but it must be hefty enough to facilitate the resolution of any conflict in my relationship with Kolya.
He turned to Marena. “Belligerent father might be the term you’re looking for.”
Marena’s mouth curved in derision. “I don’t need help with my vocabulary, Mr. Petrov.”
“Hold on, Marena.” I wasn’t about to let this meeting crash and burn.
I pushed Sebastian’s stroller toward the sweeping floor-to-ceiling windows, looking pointedly at Kolya to follow me.
He appeared unbothered, and that irritated me because I had been anticipating this meeting with dread and a weird emotion I couldn’t identify.
“Why are you antagonizing the family liaison officer?”
“Fancy title.”
“Kolya!” I snapped. “This is not a joke.”
“My son is far from a joke.” His voice turned serious. “But I’m not about to let a stranger judge me on how I interact with my son.”
“It’s for—”
“His safety?”
“Please don’t make this difficult.”
He inched closer. “The only reason I allowed that woman in this meeting is because I don’t want to make it difficult for you.
” The brilliant blue of his eyes pinned me to where I stood.
I was lost in them when I shouldn’t be. Was that how he distracted his marks before he slit their throats?
That his beautiful eyes were the last image they saw.
A flash of him above me, moving inside me, flickered in my head.
Oh, shit.
I dropped my eyes. “Do you want to hold him?”
“Ah, princess. Yes.” He expunged a long sigh. “But I’m afraid I might not want to let him go.”
“Is everything all right there?” Marena called.
“That bitch,” Kolya swore softly.