Chapter 9
Chapter
Nine
Kolya
“What are you doing standing there?”
I stopped pacing in front of Chloe’s closed bedroom door and glanced over my shoulder at Dora, observing me with amusement.
“I thought I heard Sebastian cry,” I told her. “It’s already nine. Shouldn’t she be feeding him?”
“She should have already.” Dora frowned. “Maybe she did and went back to sleep.”
My stare burned at the door, as if I were willing myself to have X-ray vision to see through it and settle the impatience thrumming in my veins. Were they okay?
“You’re like an anxious dad,” Dora chided and clasped my arm to tug me to the kitchen. “I smell coffee. Tell you what, if they still haven’t come out after our first mug of coffee, I’ll knock on their door.”
The coffee I had going finished brewing.
Three mugs were set beside the machine. Dora poured me one.
She knew I liked my coffee black from my custody visits.
I pegged her quickly as a no-nonsense person.
She didn’t care who I was or that I’d spent a year in prison.
She called herself the godmother of second chances, sometimes even a third.
As long as I didn’t hurt Chloe and Sebastian, we wouldn’t be having problems.
We both settled behind the counter barstools. “I’m surprised you were willing to move into a Zahkarov compound.”
Dora had a history with the bratva. She met Chloe’s mother while working together in a bratva-owned nightclub.
That was where Renée caught the eye of Duncan King.
The former second-in-command of House of Sokolov, part of the bratva triumvirate, became enamored with Dora and forced her to become his mistress.
It was Renée who asked Ivan for a favor—ordered Pavel Sokolov to release Dora without a threat of retribution.
When I was pressing Ivan on how to approach Chloe, he mentioned Dora’s past with the bratva and the abusive relationship she had with one of our own.
So, in a way, I had more minefields to navigate, but it seemed Dora made it her mission not to hide from abusive men, but to help women get away from them.
“Why? It’s in the past,” she said. “I’m not that scared young girl anymore. Pavel is dead, and my regret is he couldn’t see me the way I am now. He said I wouldn’t survive without him. That no one would ever have his leftovers. That I was a nobody without him.”
“You never got married.”
She chuckled into her coffee. “Marriage or relationships were never my calling. If I were religious, I might have become a nun, but I’m not. I don’t need religion to tell me to help women and children in need.”
“Not men?”
“Let’s just say I specialize in women and children. Don’t get me wrong, men can be victims in abusive relationships too, but I feel like because of my lived experience, women benefit more from my help.”
“So if you’re championing Chloe and Sebastian, how am I doing so far?”
“Are you seeking validation, Kolya?”
Was I? No. I never sought approval, and I didn’t think fatherhood would change that. “What else should I do to make them feel more welcome and protected? I’m at a loss on how to handle the situation yesterday without making it feel like Chloe’s fault.”
“Are you blaming her?”
“Absolutely not, but I couldn’t say I share that feeling about Theo King.”
“If you blame her brother, it’s going to fall back on her because ultimately it was her decision to let Theo iron out the terms of the arbitration.
” She took another sip from her mug. “You’re being given a unique chance to spend more time with Sebastian.
Use that time wisely. If I’m reading you right, you’re looking like a father who will put in the work to be with his son. I’ve watched you with Sebby.”
I nodded my thanks.
“Anything to do with joining the bratva should be set aside for now. That girl has been through a lot. Duncan and Ivan let her down. I’m still determining whether you and Theo are good for her or will become her biggest heartbreak.”
A stabbing pierced my chest. Fuck. The past few weeks I tried to be happy with the minimum time I was allowed with Sebastian, but I was finding myself sucked in more and more into a family I had no right to have.
At least, until I fixed the problem. The Vozhokari problem.
“…when the newness fades and you decide being a father is not for you, and Theo decides he didn’t want a sister and nephew after all in place of his empire.”
“I just want to make things easier for her.”
“Good!” Dora said, but didn’t elaborate. Lucy sent me first-time-dad books as a prank, but I started reading them on my phone.
We both turned toward the opening of Chloe’s door, and she emerged with Sebastian in her arms.
What the hell? She looked exhausted. The bags under her eyes reminded me of overstuffed suitcases.
Dora voiced my concerns. “Didn’t sleep well, or were you lazy taking off your mascara?”
Chloe laughed, but it came out as a groan. “Both.”
I reached for Sebastian and was pleased when his eyes sparkled with joy and he let out a cheery giggle.
His merriment never failed to chase the chill in my frost-battened heart.
The first time I felt that kick in the chest, it was unexpected.
Not even when Irina forced Kirill and I to hold Aralina when she was a baby. Kirill was more robotic than I was.
Irrationally, I was pissed off that Sebastian was conceived while Chloe thought I was that Frenchman. Had she been attracted to that guy? Was I feeling jealousy at a man who was a version of me?
It was definitely jealousy that led me to stalk Chloe last night.
“He seems to be in a good mood,” I said.
“I gave him a bottle at five.”
“I can make eggs for him,” Dora offered.
The doorbell rang.
“Ugh, we’re supposed to meet Lucy for breakfast over at the main house.”
“Lucy texted me and said it was a bad idea and she was just too excited.” And I had agreed with her. “She said to take our time today.”
“Oh, thank God.”
I opened the door to Sorcha. The housekeeper, and if you asked me, the one who kept this estate running flawlessly.
She’d been in the Zahkarovs’ employ since before Kirill was sent to Russia.
She was a tall Irish woman who kept her salt-and-pepper hair twisted in a bun.
And she arrived, hefting a heavy breakfast tray.
“Oh, look at the boy.” Sorcha’s gray eyes filled with tears. “Oh, Nikolai, he’s beautiful.”
My chest swelled with pride—one of the many new emotions I started feeling since I found out I’d become a father.
Because it wasn’t about the successful execution of a kill.
My life had been born in blood and death, but with Sebastian, it was about life.
It lifted me up instead of sucking my soul deeper and deeper into the darkness.
That was the only way I could describe it.
And frankly, I wasn’t sure if I deserved my son, but I was selfish enough to hang on to him.
“He is?”
“His eyes are yours.”
I stepped aside so that Sorcha could bring in the breakfast tray, filled with room-service-style covered dishes.
“Tell Lucy to buy you one of those room-service carts.”
She laughed. “That has come up in conversation when she was renovating this cottage.”
She set the tray down on the counter and introduced herself to Chloe and Dora, offering her services of grocery shopping. Sorcha rarely smiled until Lucy entered Kirill’s wintry household, but I’d been seeing her more animated lately rather than the pinched expression she had worn for years.
“Can I hold him?” Sorcha turned to me.
“I don’t know. I just held him for like five minutes,” I grumbled.
“Give him up, Kolya,” Chloe chided. “You have all day with him.”
“We have to collect your things at the apartment later, and he’s suspicious of strangers.”
“Ah, but I have my way with the babies,” Sorcha said.
She was almost in her sixties, and I used to see the worry lines on her forehead and creases at the corners of her eyes, but I seemed to remember Kirill griping about how Lucy had bought the house staff a day at the spa and paid for all the skin care products for those who would like to partake in the benefit.
According to her, one way to keep the staff loyal was when you cared about their well-being.
It was an excellent argument, especially since bratva soldiers tended to be assholes. Kirill needed to keep the support staff happy.
The bratva was looking more and more like a corporation.
Sorcha’s face settled into a tender expression. “Come on, my boy, come to your auntie Sorcha.”
Sebastian leaned toward her, but I pulled back.
Sorcha glared at me briefly but continued smiling at Sebastian.
“Stop that.” Chloe laughed and swatted my back lightly.
And my son willingly went to Sorcha with a burst of giggles.
“What are you? A baby whisperer?” I derided.
“He’s just becoming more confident,” Dora said. “That’s good. But Sorcha obviously knows how to handle kids.”
“I raised Kirill,” Sorcha said.
“What?” Chloe exclaimed.
“Are you surprised because it’s hard to imagine Kirill as a snotty child?” I asked dryly.
As the three women gathered and chatted around Seva, I checked my phone. Ivan, who never texted, actually sent me several messages, and because I temporarily silenced his number, I had a few voicemails from him too.
I-man
This is Ivan.
Why aren’t you answering my calls?
Is this your number? I don’t like to ask Aralina for help.
I snorted. Yes, that would be awkward since he was contacting me to get updates on Chloe.
How’s Chloe and Sebastian?
I’d really like to see them.
In some ways I’d like to make the old man sweat a little, but it was hard to judge him given I’d left a woman pregnant and then went to jail.
Besides, Ivan was pakhan at a time when the bratva was being challenged from the inside.
That was the reason Kirill came back. If it wasn’t for Irina being pregnant with Aralina, I wasn’t sure if Kirill wouldn’t have left Ivan to rot and rebuild the organization later.
Me
Give me more time to settle them in.
Okay.
Have patience, old man.