Chapter 7 #2
Again, I have to reluctantly agree with what Auden points out.
We’re already short-staffed after Sanchuk smartly, but surprisingly, sent me an email this morning stating he would be taking his early retirement effective immediately.
The last thing the department needs is a leader out of commission for any reason.
“Noted,” I concede his point. “And to that end, I’m going to call it a night. I don’t expect to hear anything from the lab until tomorrow morning at the earliest, so I’m going to try for a full night of sleep.”
Auden won’t let me leave a few bills for my share of the tab, but he doesn’t stop me when I get up.
He has, in fact, already turned his attention to a baseball game playing on the big screen behind the bar before I even get to the door.
There, I chance a quick glance in Nate’s direction, only to find the booth he was occupying with Ginny Collier is empty.
I try not to read too much into that, but I have a healthy imagination.
I’m annoyed with myself as I walk out and cross the parking lot to my vehicle. Why am I still so drawn to the man? I try to force myself to look at him as just an old acquaintance who moved back to town, but it’s not working. Old emotions make a resurgence, both the good and the bad.
The man left me, for crying out loud. He literally disappeared from my life from one moment to the next. It took me a long fucking time to get over that—get over him—but I did, eventually. At least I thought I did.
Up ahead, a dark shape pushes away from my cruiser as I approach. My hand automatically goes to my hip before I realize I’m not wearing my uniform, and I left my sidearm in the glove box of my SUV. My body tenses, bracing for an attack, when the headlights of a passing car reveal the man’s face.
“Can we talk?” Nate asks, taking a step closer.
This is the last place I imagined him to be.
“Where is your date?” is the first thing out of my mouth, and I immediately wish I could take it back. It’s far too revealing.
“Home by now, I guess. And it was only drinks with a friend.”
“A friend,” my treacherous mouth echoes.
He hums once before turning the tables on me. “What about you? Didn’t I see you in there with Maynard?”
“Yeah, we’re working a case together.”
I manage to hold back the snide, “What’s it to you?” comment wanting to roll off my tongue, but I’m sure Nate can hear my defensive tone.
He drops his head and appears to shuffle his feet as an uncomfortable silence settles over us.
It’s a strange situation, an awkward standoff in a dark parking lot. Still, I can’t bring myself to move, the silent limbo feeling oddly safe. Safer than whatever subject he wanted to talk to me about.
It’s not until an SUV turns into the parking lot and pulls into a vacant space a few spots down, I finally manage to prompt him.
“What did you want to talk to me about?”
He raises his head slightly and lifts his eyes to look at me from under his eyebrows.
“Us.”
It’s like ice water is poured down my spine with that single word.
“There is no us to talk about,” I return coldly.
He tilts his head slightly. “Are you sure?”
The bark of laughter bursting from my chest is incredulous.
“Are you serious right now? Because I don’t have the time or energy to explain to you how fucked up that is.
Coming up on sixteen years ago soon, Nathan…
You. Left. Without a word, I might add.” I pull back my index finger from where it was poking into his chest. “You’ve been back here…
what? Less than a month? Now you want to talk about us?
Newsflash. There is no us! A lifetime was lived in the decade and a half since you vanished off the face of the earth. ”
I’m well aware I’m yelling at this point—I appear to be drawing some attention—but I can’t help myself, I’m beyond pissed off. How dare he?
I curl my hands into fists and press them into my thighs to keep from punching him.
“You barely cleared out of here before you cancelled your phone, Nathan. Like a coward, you denied me an explanation. So don’t you dare suggest there is an us. You killed that right a long time ago.”
“I did,” he concedes easily.
Too easily.
“But I’d like a chance to explain anyway.”
I shake my head and let my eyes drift over his shoulder. Why am I even tempted to listen? Did I really believe I could forge a casually friendly connection with this man by going to his house, and having dinner with him? Or am I really that helplessly drawn to him?
“I fell in love and had a life with a wonderful man after you left,” I volunteer in a last-ditch effort to create some emotional distance.
“I heard. I’m so sorry for your loss,” he echoes the words I shared with him only a few days ago.
Of course he heard. Silence is a small town and nothing stays quiet for very long.
He bends down until our eyes are level before adding, “But I’m glad you found some happiness for a while.”
He looks sincere enough, until his gaze slides down to my mouth.
Unnerved, I bite my lip, which causes his eyes to snap back up to mine.
“I’m exhausted. I should head home,” I state, breaking whatever voodoo has me drowning in his blue-gray eyes.
Immediately he straightens up and backs away, giving me space to get to the driver’s side door.
I’m about to climb in when I hear his voice close behind me.
“Give me a chance, Savvy. A chance to talk, that’s all I ask.”
“I’ll think about it,” I mutter, quickly pulling the door shut.
My hands are shaking when I start the engine.
Damn you, Nathan Gaines.