Inside the Penalty Box

Chapter 1

Aurora

Since I was a little girl,I idolized my mother. To me, she always seemed to be free as a bird, something I wanted to be when I grew up. Nothing ever seemed to bother her. She never seemed to be stressed or anxious, unlike me. Over the years, she had her share of boyfriends. She’d also had her share of husbands—three in the last eight years. Each one of them ended on an unpleasant note, but she was resilient, and within weeks, my mother was usually back out there on the dating scene.

When I’d ask her if we’d ever have a father that stayed around again, she’d smile and say, “Aurora, life is to be lived. To take chances, to have fun. That is what I am doing, having fun. You’ll understand one day.”

Walker, my brother, and I often wondered if she had always been this way, especially when our father was alive. He passed away when I was only two, so I never really got to know him. Walker, who is a couple of years older than me, barely even remembered him. Mom told us stories about him, and it seemed like they’d had a rather normal marriage. In her recollection, she’d tell us he was down-to-earth, something she was not, but that he kept her grounded, which she admitted she desperately needed. From what she told us, he rarely took chances, especially once we were in the picture, which drove her crazy. She told us she loved him immensely, but she also craved the wild and spontaneous life, and once he was gone, that was what she sought, regardless of how it affected Walker or me.

In some ways, I wanted that type of life for myself, to have fun and to take chances, yet I craved stability, probably because it was something I never had. My mother wasn’t around much, and when she was, she didn’t want to be known as Mom, but as Penelope. She said it made her feel younger. In some ways, I almost felt that we didn’t have a mother; we had a best friend instead.

My friends would laugh when I’d tell them I wanted to be like my mother. When I’d ask why they were laughing, they’d tell me it was because I was the exact opposite of her, and they looked forward to the day that I actually took a chance on anything.

I’ll admit, loosening up was hard for me. As much as I craved that same freedom my mother had, I craved structure as well. I took school seriously, focusing on passing every class I had with a high mark. I’d also dated the same guy for the past three years, and my life nearly ended when he broke it off with me. To be honest, I’d cried and moped around in bed for months afterward. Something I’d never seen my mother do. In fact, after her last breakup, she was onto the next man before the night had ended.

My brother was exactly like her, or perhaps he was more like the men she brought home. He was a player, and he’d learned from the best, so you couldn’t fault him. He’d watched my mother, and he’d idolized most of the men she’d brought home, and he treated women exactly how these men had treated my mother and the way my mother treated men. When he got bored with his current fling, which never seemed to be longer than a week or two, if it even lasted that long, he’d drop them and move on to the next girl, who was in the shadows waiting.

These differences and flaws had led us both to where we stood right now—the Vancouver airport, together with bags in hand, going on two very separate paths.

“I’ll see you in a few months,” Walker said as he wrapped his arms around me one last time.

I hugged him tight, wishing that he wasn’t leaving me for such a long time. “Just be careful. I need you to come home. I don’t think I can handle Mom all on my own,” I whispered, sniffling and wiping tears from my eyes.

“What on earth are you crying for? I’ll be home before you know it. I’m not going off to war, you know, only to basic training,” Walker said as he picked his duffel bag up off the floor and flung it over his shoulder. He headed through the door to board his plane.

Sniffling, I stood with my luggage, crying and waving as I watched him disappear. I blew my nose, wiped my eyes, and turned away, pulling my carry-on behind me, and headed toward my gate.

It was sheer luck Walker was leaving the same day I was flying to Mexico with the girls. It had been an impromptu decision for him to join the army. An uncomfortable decision for me since we had grown so close over the years. The army wasn’t always his plan, but circumstances beyond his control had led him to this path, which conveniently happened right after we’d attended a year-end party at some schoolmate’s house.

My best friend Lorelai had broken up with her boyfriend of five years. She was on a collision course to punish herself, and she went after Walker. I tried to persuade her not to, but she was insistent. My brother, being the asshole he is, took her upstairs and, in his words, screwed the ex-boyfriend right out of her head.

Once it was over, they came downstairs and, if it was possible, he tore her already broken heart into a million more tiny pieces. He looked her up and down, chuckled to himself, shook his head, ran his hand over the stubble on his chin and said, “Darlin, thanks for the evening, but I’m not the type of guy for you.” Then he took his drink and disappeared into the crowd.

Twenty minutes later, she was crying on my shoulder, and when I saw my brother, I let him have it. He took off with a group of friends and got arrested for drinking and driving a few hours later. I’d hated him for hurting her that way. Lorelai was my best friend, and even though she claimed she was only looking for a fun time and nothing permanent, she at least deserved a guy who’d treat her with some form of respect.

The next couple of weeks, she moped around over my brother, but come the end of the summer, she finally agreed with me it had been a stupid idea to even entertain getting involved with him.

For a long time, I could still see the hurt and disappointment on her face. The part that pissed me off most was that, for a bit, every time someone would mention his name, she’d fight back tears. She did not know how lucky she was that he’d spared her heart and acted like an asshole, even if at the time it hadn’t felt like it.

The end of summer came. Boyfriend number twelve (I think) had just left my mother. Walker was still doing his community sentence, and that was when he announced he was changing his life and joining the army.

I was still angry with him and trying to deal with how he’d treated my best friend when he told me. So, I did the most spontaneous thing I’d done in my life: forgave my brother instantly and agreed to be dragged away by my five best friends to an island for five nights. I had a goal in mind: to get over my breakup before I started my last semester of the sports therapy program, and to have one last get-together with my friends before we all went our separate ways.

So, here I was wandering through the airport, pulling my suitcase behind me. It was so busy I doubted I’d ever find my gate or my girls. Looking down at my boarding pass, I checked the number once more.

I let out a sigh, rounded a corner, and looked up, finally seeing a sign for my gate number up ahead. Shoving my pass into my passport, I picked up my pace, then heard my name being called. I looked over my shoulder to see Lorelai running to catch up with me.

“Ready for fun in the sun?” I questioned, hoping that today she was in a better mood than she had been since the night of the party.

She smiled and nodded, but I could tell it wasn’t her usual happiness. I knew she was still feeling crushed by my brother’s actions and the breakup with her boyfriend. At least, I hoped that was the problem.

“Better put a smile on that face. You may meet the man of your dreams this week.” I winked.

She groaned. “Look, I’m not looking for anything on this trip. After being dumped, then treated the way I was by your brother, I think I’ll stay single. I pity the guy who tries anything with me next.”

“Oh, no,” I muttered, worried about my friend.

“Seriously, am I that bad?” Lorelai cried, meeting my eyes, tears lining them. “Is there something about me that men find repulsive?”

I’d been afraid that Walker’s behaviour would have this effect, especially after she was just dumped. I was almost positive Lorelai would push all men away from her. She would not get over everything overnight.

“How many times do I need to tell you? It’s not you, it’s them. As for my brother, he’s a mess. Remember what his track record is,” I said, gently banging her shoulder.

“I know, I just…can’t forget the look on his face as he said those words to me. It was the same look that Hugo gave me when he broke it off with me.”

“Please don’t tell me you thought my brother would change because it was you?” I feared perhaps she had silently prayed for that. “Lorelai, I love you, but Walker has some serious growing up to do. He has had no male role model, aside from those disasters our mother has dated over the years. You’ve seen them. They aren’t exactly model men. I mean, look at the last guy…leaving our mother for a woman on the internet or something.”

“You’re right. I don’t know why I’m letting his reactions play any role in how I feel,” she said, still looking defeated. “That night was nothing but a stupid mistake.”

We walked in silence, then Lorelai turned to me.

“Are you still sure you want to be as free as her?”

I nodded. “I think that being like her would give me what I need to put my ex behind me.”

“You do? You might end up like me. Whatever you do, just watch yourself, because that was what I thought. I don’t want to see you getting hurt before we head off to school.”

“I’ll be careful. I know one thing: I will need a little courage to get there, to be as free as her.”

Lorelai smirked. “Only a little? I’d say you’ll need a lot. You aren’t anything like her.”

We both laughed, then she gave me a serious look.

“You don’t need to do anything, you know. I think what would be best for you is just time. You were in a long relationship, and I know you well enough to know that you aren’t the type to get over someone that quick or in that way. It may just confuse you more, just like it’s done for me.”

“I’m not confused,” I said, feeling defensive.

“I beg to differ. The breakup came out of nowhere, and now you are seeking somewhere to divert your pain.”

I nodded. “Yep, it came out of nowhere. It was like I walked into a wall. Pardon me if I just want to forget it all.”

“Of course it did, and it doesn’t help that he never even gave you an explanation! At least Hugo had a reason.”

I shook my head. “No, Greg had a reason. He said he couldn’t see us going any further.”

“Poor excuse. I don’t call a job in another city a reason. Hasn’t he heard of long-distance relationships?”

I grew quiet, remembering exactly how I felt the day that Greg announced he wanted to break things between us.

Lorelai was quiet for a moment. Then she looked at me. “I’m sorry he hurt you.”

I shrugged. “It’s not a big deal, really. It obviously was not meant to be. If we were, then, well, we wouldn’t be here discussing this, would we?”

Lorelai shook her head. “I guess not.”

“So, I’m reclaiming myself on this trip. I’m taking control of my life, just like my mother does. So, give me the courage to act like my mother. It works for her, so maybe, fingers crossed, it will work for me.”

Lorelai let out a laugh. “You know what? You want courage? I’ll give you courage. The first guy who looks in your direction, I’m going to tell him just to invite you back to his room and make you his.”

I let out a loud laugh, while Lorelai kept a straight face. People glanced in our direction as they passed by.

“Okay, maybe not so forward.”

“It’s the only way to go,” she said, looking at everyone.

“What are you doing? Here?” I gasped.

She nodded just as two guys about our age came walking toward us. Lorelai straightened up. “Hey, do either of you want to have one night of fun?” she asked them.

“Oh my god, stop,” I whispered, pulling on her arm, but she shrugged me off.

“Hell yah, baby. What you got?” the one said as the other made eye contact with me.

“My friend here…” she said, grabbing my arm and trying to pull me in front of her.

“Oh my god, stop,” I insisted, grabbing hold of Lorelai. “That’s enough. They are going to think we are street women.”

“Street women?” Lorelai frowned, shaking her head. “I’m only following your instructions…giving you courage.” She giggled while the two guys stood there watching us.

“What the hell are you two laughing at?” I heard a familiar voice ask.

I looked to my left to see Hannah standing there smiling, clearly wondering what we were doing. Then I caught sight of Adalyn and Willow waving their arms in excitement at the gate. They all looked ready to party hard this weekend.

“Sorry, guys.” Lorelai shrugged. “Our friends are waiting.”

Both guys shook their heads and turned away from us as we ran toward the others.

“Fill us in. What were you doing back there?” Willow questioned as we sat down.

“Nothing,” I muttered first.

“It was not nothing,” Lorelai added. “I was trying to help Miss. Uptight here loosen up. Wait, no, give her courage…wait what am I supposed to do?” Lorelai questioned, looking over at me.

I shook my head. “Nevermind. This plan is a lost cause and probably going to be impossible,” I muttered.