RAGNAR
The look on his face is burned into my mind, and so is everything I broke in him. Sun wears his heart on his sleeve, you can read him like a book. And I sure as hell can.
I know exactly how he feels right now. Everything he had, everything I gave him, everything that kept him afloat, I just took it all away today. Like the bastard I am.
So I did make my choice, didn’t I? Between being a man on a mission and being a decent human being.
And I let him down. I let myself down too.
Again, I spend Saturday on my bike. But my head’s a mess, the noise in it is so loud, I can’t string a single clear thought. Can’t even begin to put myself back together.
Sunday comes, and I’m still not done with the road.
I get back on the bike and take off again, riding for hours, trying to shake off the storm inside. But it’s not working this time either.
I push the throttle, the wind picks up. I hit the highway, miles blur under my wheels, rage building in my chest, bigger than I’ve ever felt. A deep, blinding fury. I’ve never felt this kind of intensity before. Boundless. Consuming.
Why can’t I convince myself there’s another way out of this mess?
Every plan that forms in my head, I tear it down. Doubt it. Destroy it. Even Summer’s idea. I turned it down the moment he said it.
But what if there was actually a chance in it?
I shut my heart off. Switched to pure logic. Forgot that the heart has its own kind of power. It can drive you to make wild, irrational choices, ones that defy reason but still somehow might work.
Isn’t the world changed by people who dare ? Who take the leap no one else will?
I don’t cry. Not ever. But right now, I feel like I could. All I see is Sun’s face, and it breaks my heart. I hurt him. And I can’t stand it.
I accelerate again, the road blurs beneath me, the engine screams louder. I just want to get away, from this guilt, from this rage. I want the wind to rip it out of me, to scrub me clean.
The faster I go, the more it strips away, I feel lighter. Like maybe I could rise above all this, the impossible. Like perhaps I could beat it. And for a second, I even believe it.
And then, in the corner of my vision… a car. It’s turning. The driver doesn’t see me.
I slam the brakes, try to lay the bike down, but it’s too late.
My body hits the side of the car.
And everything goes black.