SUN #2
"I’m the one who fucked up by getting involved with Anzo.
Because I was bored! Can you imagine? And I won’t let anyone in my family pay the price for my shit.
Not as long as I have any say in it. So no.
Thanks for the invite, but there’s no way in hell I’m leaving, at least as long as there’s a chance that the Ferros might go after my family. "
Summer closes his eyes briefly and takes a breath.
"Sun… I’ve never thought of you that way.
Quite the opposite, actually. From the first day I met you, I knew you were the only person I could trust completely.
I know you’re a good guy. You’ve got a good heart, a pure one—even if something in your past made you shut down.
That goodness is still in you, bright, golden, like a seed of the sun itself. "
First, I want to laugh again, but it dies in my throat.
"It's not mine. It's… my dad’s, a piece of his soul. I think it lives in me, and it keeps me alive."
We sit in silence for a while before I start to talk. I don’t know why it comes pouring out like this. It makes no sense. What’s the point? And yet, I say it.
"I was in love once. The best two years of my life. Then he got into a fight and killed a man. I lost him, and after that, nothing’s ever been the same.
Probably my fault. I simply never let myself heal, never let myself be happy.
But I didn’t know how. I think I’m the kind of person who only falls in love once. And that’s it."
Summer doesn’t say anything for a long time. He just watches me.
The room is still. The only sound is the soft bubbling from the aquarium filter. I turn my head and stare at the beautiful fish gliding behind the glass. Their lives seem so simple, so undisturbed.
Or maybe they just don’t go looking for ways to complicate things?
"Don’t be mad at Ragnar," Summer whispers. "He’s a simple guy. Some things just go over his head. He doesn’t get the emotional stuff, the nuances…"
"Is this your line of defense for him? I’m simple too! An airhead model."
"Being a soldier shaped Ragnar in a particular way. He sees the world in a straightforward way: go right, go left, concrete things, linear paths. What he wants out of life is also simple: getting on his motorcycle and riding wherever the road takes him. Just a country boy. But he’s also…
pure, like you. Underneath all that stiff soldier gear.
So I think you two are such a perfect match. I just feel—"
My eyes go wide. I stare at him, stunned.
"Wait. Ragnar rides a motorcycle?"
"Of course he does. Every time he’s on leave, he pulls out his bike and hits the road."
A strange shiver runs down my spine, and then I whisper,
"That’s just like the guy I loved. We used to ride together, eat up miles like crazy…"
"Sounds like they would’ve gotten along."
I shake myself out of it and snort impatiently.
"Ugh. But that’s all in the past. And my future doesn’t exist anyway."
I turn and head toward the door, but Summer jumps up and grabs my hand. His small fingers wrap around mine tightly.
"I’m sorry he hurt you. I really am. And I know Ragnar didn’t mean to, he’s just scared.
We already lost Moon, and he’s terrified he’s gonna lose me too.
Or our parents. He’s trying to control what he can, do whatever it takes to keep us safe.
That’s how his mind works, simple logic.
Please, if you can find it in your heart, try to forgive him… "
"But why are you the one asking me this, Summer? You’re the last person who should be apologizing. You’re the only one who gave me a chance when he wouldn’t."
Summer doesn’t say anything.
"You know," I whisper, "I don’t blame him for wanting to protect you. I’d want to protect a brother like you too."
I lean toward him a little. "It's you who are truly pure, not us. The seed of the sun is strong in you."
Then, with a slightly rueful smile, I lean in even closer and kiss him gently on the cheek.
His big eyes lock with mine, I smile again, and nod, then turn, wanting to leave his room…
But right then, it feels like something slams into my body. I stagger on my feet, arms flailing, trying desperately to keep my balance, but I fail.
I collapse backward, hard. Summer catches me just in time, but I’m too heavy to stop completely, and he’s caught off guard, so we both go down. He only manages to protect my head from hitting the floor.
A broken sound escapes my throat, a faint cry of pain that shoots through my whole body like a live wire.
"What’s happening?!" I gasp, completely winded.
Everything hurts way too much, like every single cell in my body is being pierced with needles. I can’t move.
"What’s going on, Sun?" Summer’s hands are on my cheeks, and his two-colored eyes are locked on mine.
But I can’t answer.
Because I pass out.
***
When I open my eyes, I’m lying on a narrow bed in an unfamiliar room, dimly lit. Posters of MMA fighters hang on the walls. The glow from a laptop reflects off a ceiling mural of a night sky filled with stars.
I blink slowly, struggling to come to. After a moment, I manage to turn my head. Summer’s sitting next to me, and the second he sees me move, he jumps up from his chair and perches on the edge of the bed. He leans over, pressing his small, soft hand to my forehead.
"Sun? How are you feeling?" He sounds worried.
"Like shit," I mutter with honesty.
I try to lift my arm, but my body won’t cooperate. It feels unfamiliar, heavy, almost useless.
That’s when I realize we’re not alone. There’s another heartbeat in the room: Eliano. Did Summer ask him for help?
The youngest Ferro steps closer, looking down at me with a sharp, watchful gaze. His delicate, beautiful face looks confused, like he doesn’t know what to do with me.
"Do you have any health conditions that might explain this kind of blackout?" he asks. "You’ve been unconscious for eight hours. We even called Anzo, but he’s out of the city." His jaw tightens. "He… refused to let us call a doctor."
I let out a dry scoff. Figures. I could’ve died and Anzo wouldn’t have cared. Just another reminder that he has no intention of ever letting me leave this place. Not surprising.
Eliano hesitates, then asks cautiously, "Is it possible that Anzo… hurt you? I mean… if there was some kind of internal damage, a perforation, that could lead to sepsis…"
"No," I say without flinching. "He only fucks me with a dildo. But that hasn’t happened in the last few days."
Eliano raises his eyebrows a little, as if my blunt answer caught him off guard. Clearly, Anzo’s sexual preferences seem weird to him too. Definitely not what anyone expects from a mafia capo.
"Can you try sitting up?" Summer asks gently, sliding an arm behind my neck.
With a lot of effort, I finally manage to sit up. My head spins hard. I rub my forehead with both hands. My bladder’s full, and it’s seriously bothering me.
"I want to go back to my room," I mumble, glancing around groggily. In the corner, there’s a training dummy and a punching bag hanging from the ceiling. Obviously, Eliano has to train a lot, in case Anzo ends up having a bad day.
"Sun, focus. This wasn’t normal," Summer says, more firmly now. "Eighteen-year-olds don’t just pass out for that long."
I sigh impatiently. My bladder’s about to burst.
"I don’t know what happened. Maybe we’ll never know. But I’m feeling a little better now. At least I can move," I mutter dismissively, trying to shift toward the edge of the bed.
Summer watches me closely, and then suddenly says, "Is there any other explanation you can think of, Sun? Anything at all?"
My bladder!
"Nothing comes to mind. I’ve never had health issues. Actually, I’ve been healthy my whole life. Until Anzo started electrocuting me," I add with a grimace.
I slide off the bed and try to stand. It’s not easy. I’m swaying, but Summer steadies me with an arm.
Then I hesitate. I glance up at Eliano, who’s watching with furrowed brows, scratching his jaw absently.
"Thanks for letting me… crash here like a corpse," I say. "Sorry for the trouble."
"No trouble," Eliano mutters. "We didn’t really help anyway. We just waited. You came back on your own."
"Yeah, well… even that counts for something. Every tiny bit of kindness means a lot," I mumble, avoiding eye contact and heading toward the door. "Especially now…" I trail off, not wanting to say too much.
As I leave, I catch Eliano still deep in thought, looking like he wants to say something, but, well. We're not exactly friends, he knows not to get too involved. Or the electric shock will come!
Me and Summer step into a hallway I’ve never seen before. This must be a different wing. Do the Ferros live here? I see several doors leading to other rooms, and a wide wooden staircase descending to the first floor. We follow the hall toward the living room, finally, a space I recognize.
Summer helps me walk back to my room, still holding me up, but we don’t talk. I can tell he doesn’t want to push, doesn’t want to hit me with any more dark guesses about what’s going on with my health. I appreciate that.
When we reach my door, I mumble a quick thank-you and slip inside, closing it almost in his face.
After emptying my poor bladder, I throw myself on the bed and let sleep take me. I don’t want to come back from the darkness. At this point, freedom truly feels like the absence of light.
***
The next day is slightly better. I can walk normally again, even though my body still aches in this weird, phantom kind of way.
My head hurts the most, like there's constant pressure, but at least I'm able to function.
When I look out the window that morning, though, I don’t see… the gardener.
Yeah, that’s what I’m calling him again. Not Ragnar.
Ragnar is in the past.
Not that it matters. I already decided to stay away from him. So why am I even checking for him through the window?
To him, I don’t exist. I’m just a disturbance, a threat. I’m not about to go forcing myself into his life.