RAGNAR
At one point, I even overhear two of them talking in the hallway.
One of them says it’s a miracle they did a CT scan before the MRI.
Apparently, the CT showed a weird, distorted image that made them hesitate.
If they had gone ahead with the MRI, it could’ve killed me.
They were shocked to realize I’m a purple alpha without the usual purple color of lines, not something they’re used to seeing.
Normally, all purple alphas have that silicon-carbide-based cerametal armor inside.
It’s a very resilient organic-metal composite.
But in my case, the metal content on the surface of the plates and spikes is unusually high.
That gives them a metallic sheen (and adds to my weight).
If they had put me in the MRI machine, the metal components could have shifted and torn up my tissues.
That whole procedure is banned for purple alphas, but my appearance threw them off.
It didn’t help that I wasn’t carrying any ID, so they had no access to my medical files.
I’m undercover as Lind not Larsen, so there’s no way I could just casually keep a real ID in my pocket.
The longer I stay, the more I feel like some kind of exhibit. A freak show under constant observation. And despite my dad’s protests, I’m getting closer to a decision; I don’t want to spend another minute here unless I absolutely have to. But still…
There's one thing that blocks me. I also don’t feel ready to leave.
So I force myself to hang in for a few more days and use the time to think.
Really think. Mostly about one person: Sun.
I don’t let myself fixate too hard on what will happen after I see him.
I just know I need to say sorry. And yeah…
I just want to see him. That’s it. Period.
Eventually, I can’t put it off anymore. I’m fully healed, and I’m tired of being poked and prodded.
After extra three days, I check myself out. I don’t even tell my parents. I just pack up and leave.
***
The next day, I show up for work. There’s this impatience, this inner stir in me—I need to renew my mission, and not only that…
The guards look surprised. Bonzo practically drops his jaw and starts hitting me with questions.
I brush it off, saying my parents panicked and blew my injuries out of proportion over the phone.
But even while talking the only thing I can really think about is getting to the garden and checking if Sun’s there.
My heart’s pounding as I step outside, but… I don’t see him. The patio is empty, the lounge chairs by the pool folded. I walk out onto the lawn, turn slowly, and look up at his window.
And then I freeze.
Sun… is there.
It’s almost like the first day I ever saw him.
Our eyes meet.
My heart skips a beat. My chest tightens.
Our tragic, impossible ‘relationship’ was so short-lived, and yet, somehow, my heart refuses to accept that it’s forever impossible.
Something just won’t let me look away from him.
But he does it.
He turns around and walks away.
I take a deep breath. Right. I didn’t expect anything anyway. I just wanted to see him, wasn’t that the point?
So I start working. Like a robot, barely present. My head is like a beehive, there’s no coherent thought, not even one. I water the plants, I trim the lawn. But I’m not really here.
Two hours later, I spot Summer in the garden, walking slowly along the bed of the roses.
When he sees me, his face lights up. We both keep it discreet, slipping off to the gazebo without drawing attention.
The moment I enter it, before I can stop myself, I blurt out the first thing that’s on my mind.
"How’s Sun?"
Summer sits down on the bench and gives me this gloomy look.
"Gosh, you had an accident, Ragnar… and your first words after coming back from the hospital are about Sun?"
I close my eyes, feeling a rush of impatience. Why won’t he just answer me? I need to know!
"Just tell me… The accident is irrelevant. I’m hard to kill, Summer."
His eyes scan my face. "There is something between you two, right? It’s serious?"
"It was, or… no, scratch that, it never could be serious. It was just… comforting for him. Physical. But I still… care for him."
Summer stares at his hands for a while.
"He’s drinking a lot. Smoking. I’ve seen him drunk at every meal. Doesn’t leave his room much."
I curse under my breath and look away, not wanting him to see the guilt in my eyes.
"A few days ago, Rocco tried to rape me. Sun threw himself at him, tried to hold him off, kept shouting at me to run… He risked getting assaulted himself."
I curse again, louder this time.
"I knocked Rocco out. He was drunk, so it didn’t look suspicious. But still, Sun didn’t even think, he just acted. And he could’ve paid for it gravely. You know how Rocco is."
"You don’t need to say more, Summer. I know Sun has… a good heart. But I can’t take back what I said, even if I want to. I wasn’t trying to hurt him. You know what the mafia is like—they always find ways to raise the bar on their sadism. They can put him in an impossible situation, and then…"
"I know, Raggi. But I can sense that Sun really liked you… a lot. You were his anchor, in a strange way, something to cling to in his attempt to hold on to his dignity and… just his humanity in this horrible place. And I don’t think he’s analyzing our situation tactically like you are.
He’s a simple guy. He just follows his heart. "
I take a deep breath, but my lungs feel tight, like they don’t want to let the air in. My chest aches.
"Can we stop talking about him, Summer? It’s too difficult for me, I need to…" I snort, looking aside, out of the gazebo. I try to compose myself, but it’s a challenge.
"I’m glad you’re here, because I wanted to tell you: our parents have already shut down their business.
We got in touch with their cousin in Iceland, Uncle Erik, on their new phone.
He agreed to take them in until they find a house or apartment.
Everything should be ready by September 12th. That’s when I’ll get you out of here."
Summer’s face hardens, his lips set in a line.
"But I’m not leaving without Sun."
There is a long pause. I fight two contradicting feelings. The relief—somebody else also doesn’t want to leave Sun—and the other one, the soldier-on-duty part, that is angry about Summer’s disobedience.
"Summer, do you understand that if you stay, Anzo won’t accept you refusing to use your powers for him?"
A long pause, like… really long. Summer’s deep in his thoughts.
And then he says it.
"Do you even care what happens to Sun? That Anzo might beat him to death?"
My emotions boil over. I feel it like a punch to my stomach.
"Of course I care, Summer! I’d do anything to help him, but I can’t save all of his brothers from Anzo’s revenge! Just tell me what the hell to do, and I’ll do it! I’m willing to give it a shot, no matter how crazy it might be!"
Summer is silent for a second as his face turns pale.
"It sounds terrible, but… we could kill them all. You and me. No one could stop us." These words are barely above a whisper.
"Yeah, and then what? Every FBI agent, every cop, every court in the country will be after us. Even the military. We’d be hunted down like fucking war criminals, for slaughtering dozens of people. Fucking mass murderers!"
Summer buries his face in his hands.
I snort and add, "Summer, in a week I’m taking you out of this country. We’re walking away from all of it. We can take him, but it has to be his decision. He has to know and accept that his family will die."
"He won’t agree."
"Then what do I do?! What should I do?"
"We may try my plan I told you about before your accident."
My head just hurts so much that I had to rub my temples. Fuck, Summer’s plan is unrealistic as hell, and in my opinion it will end up in Sun being the punching bag for Anzo, after he realizes what he lost with Summer.
My brother observes me for a while, as if reading my mind, and then he makes a deep sigh.
"But for now… you should just apologize to him. Give him something. If we’re forced to leave him here to die in pain and alone, the least you can do is give him that."
I squeeze my eyes shut. My hands are shaking.
"Summer… please." I choke on the words, not even sure what I’m trying to say. "Do you really think anything I say now is gonna change the situation?"
"It won’t change what’s happening to him. But it might change how he feels. And he’s hurting. So badly."
"Stop. Please—just stop."
I turn and walk out of the gazebo. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t stand how hopeless this all feels. I hate this helplessness.
I hate myself for how things turned out between me and Sun.
But what can I do?
What the hell can I do?