33. Anastasia
Rhett is speeding. Usually I wouldn’t care, but all I can think about is how he can’t be seen, and if the police pull us over ... I’m flashed back to memories of how cold and uncaring the officers were when telling me about Rhett’s accident. His death.
“Slow down,” I say.
He doesn’t listen, and then I realize we’re not going the right way to the warehouse apartment.
“Where are we going?”
This could take us to the Den, until ...
He passes the intersection to head that way too, and I only know one dreaded location this way.
“Rhett, stop.”
His knuckles turn white against the wheel.
“You’re scaring me—stop!”
My heart is wild against my ribs when he finally eases off the accelerator.
“You’re going to your parents for a while. It’s the only safe place for you.”
“Like hell I am! Pull the fuck over, or so help me, I’m about to make you.”
His eyes cut briefly to me, pulsing with dangerous challenge. I don’t back down, and maybe I even frighten myself with how sure I am that I’ll reach for the steering wheel and take the impact of whatever happens next. I don’t know where these impulsive, reckless thoughts are coming from, but I can’t stop them.
I reach out, and Rhett catches my wrist before slamming on the breaks. He’s pulled down a back alley anyway, but his cool eyes are livid for what I was about to do. I rip my hand out of his and unclip my seat belt. I have to walk off this anxiety-riddled rage.
“What the fuck was that, Ana?” Rhett demands, getting out of the car too.
Night is falling, and I stand in front of the headlights with the car still running.
“You don’t get to give me back!” I yell. My eyes prick, but I will not cry. “It took me a long time to find you, and you don’t get to give me back like that.”
His face tries to soften, but his feelings echo mine. There’s so much pain and fear between us it makes our closeness fragile.
“I don’t want to give you back,” he says, edging closer. “I want you to see that I’m not good for you. I want you to walk away, because I can’t.”
“I don’t just mean since you were taken,” I say, my voice falling. “It took me a long time to find you because I haven’t felt like this before, and I never will again. I know you lost someone once and it terrifies you to lose again, but the difference is, she didn’t know about any of it, and I do. I know it all, and I want to stay until the very end. We’re no different to anyone else hoping the end will be very, very far away. We’re no different, Rhett. We’re owed just as many years as anyone and promised none of them just the same too. So don’t give me away in the name of protecting me just because we can see the faces of our monsters. I’m scared too, but I’m more scared of being without you.”
Rhett’s hand slips over my jaw. His fingers thread through the back of my hair and then tighten. My lips part with a spark of wild desire when he forces my face closer.
“No one has ever driven me as crazy as you do. Every new taste of your blooming wild side is a drug I feel I should be horrified by, like maybe I’m corrupting you. But oh, Anastasia, I didn’t think it was possible, but you’re corrupting me, mind, body, and soul.”
“We’re all going to die, and I choose to go by your side whether it’s sooner or later. I’m just really hoping for later.”
“So much fucking later. I still have the world to give you.”
“And I still have hell to give you, remember?”
Rhett slams his lips to mine in a kiss that’s as wild as it is searching. He lifts me onto the hood of the car, leaning into me as if he can’t get close enough. My skirt rides up to feel his hardening cock against my core, and I crave the wildness of how open we are.
Until I remember Rhett is a secret, and it pains me. Otherwise I wouldn’t care who could trespass, likely call the police—I would risk it all for what is blazing my skin right now. But Rhett can’t be seen.
I can’t pull away when I’m practically lying on the hood of the SUV, grappling his clothing like we’re two starved animals.
“We need to go,” I pant.
Rhett groans, but he doesn’t stop his assault against my mouth, my neck. I want him to take me in the car right now, and I’m close to suggesting it when his phone buzzes.
“It could be important,” I say when he tries to ignore it.
“You’re the only thing that’s important.”
I giggle when his teeth nick my serpent earring, and I push at his chest. Rhett sighs in reluctance, pulling me up to him and keeping his arm around me as he fishes out his phone.
“It’s Rix. We should head to the Den before we go home tonight,” he informs me, frowning and typing back.
I tug at his shirt. “Home,” I repeat.
Rhett’s expression softens, but I know it’ll take longer to erase the guilt when he looks at me.
“Yes, baby. Home.”
“It’s going to take time for you to stop thinking I would have been better off without you,” I say. “I don’t know what else I can say to make you believe it isn’t true. Maybe I would have been safer. Or maybe Gregory would have achieved exactly what he wanted, and Matthew would have taken me. There would have been no you to help stop it. Perhaps we would have still met someday, but it would have been through your work, when you saved me after it was too late.”
Rhett’s eyes close at that unthinkable alternative fate.
I force him to look at me. “Say that it’s you and me. Say that you have no regrets.”
Rhett leans his forehead to mine. “It’s you and me, little bird. I promise you that.”
“You don’t get to lock me in another cage and do this yourself. Don’t ever think of that again.”
“I’m sorry,” he mutters, kissing me once and then lifting me off the hood.
“Good. Now let’s get back to work, Agent.”
It’s past midnight when we get to the Den, and I’m buzzing with nerves and excitement over what could be so important it couldn’t wait.
The elevator doors open, and Rhett and I head into the large empty room. It’s just Rix and Adam here, but though I spot them, they don’t detect us.
“Oh shit,” I mutter, stopping my step, which strains our joined hands.
Since everyone else has retired for the night, my quiet words travel across the space, breaking up a very heated-looking kiss between Rix and Adam.
They push away from each other as if a grenade has been thrown between them.
“He’s just pretty to look at, and you took a long fucking time, before you get the wrong idea,” Rix grumbles, taking up his seat again. He looked about to climb on top of the desk with Adam under him.
My cheeks flush at the intrusion. I look to Adam, who won’t meet my eye.
“I should have been home a while ago, just took charity in him being a loner here,” Adam says. He grabs his jacket.
“Wait—we’ll go with you after this,” I try, but Adam looks ready to bolt out of here.
“Thanks, but I’ve heard it all. See you later, A,” he says to me, not looking back at Rix or at Rhett at all.
When I look up, I don’t think Adam needs to see Rhett’s glare to feel it. The elevator doors shut to take Adam up, and I whack Rhett’s arm. His head whips to me, stunned as if I’ve snapped him out of a reel of a hundred ways to kill Adam Sullevan.
“What?” he complains.
“When are you going to let go of your grudge with him?”
“Never.”
“Why?”
“I don’t care about his reasons—he hurt you.”
“I care about him.So you need to get the hell over it.”
Rhett kisses my head. “No.”
He slips around me toward Rix, and I follow him slack-jawed. This conversation isn’t over, but as he begins asking Rix what’s so urgent, I settle that issue for now.
“You called me here to show me a track on Jeremy,” Rhett says.
“You’re going to want to see where he went,” Rix says, clacking away at the keyboard.
A map appears and then zooms in. Whatever it is makes Rhett lean in, eyes darting around. “That’s a Forthson location,” he says to himself.
“Think Alistair really has the balls to send spies inside his number-one enemy’s territory? It’s the worst offense, and if Forthson found out ...”
“We need to get him the fuck out,” Rhett snaps, straightening and running a hand through his hair.
“He’s around a whole group of guys at all times, never alone. We’re at a loss, man. If he tries to run, they’ll shoot him on the spot. We try to close in, and it could end in a bloodbath.”
“I’ll meet with Jacob,” I say.
“Not alone,” Rhett counters.
“I should. He’s not best fond of you and might not talk. He’s not a fool to trust you.”
“He won’t trust you either in that case. Anything he says to you, you’ll relay to me anyway.”
I purse my lips. “We would meet every second Sunday at a rooftop restaurant in the city. It’s been a couple of weeks, but I imagine he figured out what happened with Alistair and realized why I haven’t shown. We should go this week and hope he turns up.”
Rix says, “Should we tell him about Lanshall? If we really think he’s buying that he’s part of our team, he might be able to get Jeremy out next time he’s sent to his location. Fake his death as a weeded-out spy or something.”
“I don’t like this,” Rhett mutters.
I watch the wheels turning in his mind as he surveys the screens, but he’s not attentive to anything on them. He stands with arms crossed, his chin in one hand. “Something doesn’t feel right,” is all he says.
It wouldn’t seem like much from anyone else, but I trust Rhett’s intuition more than anyone’s.
“Let’s just meet with him. Perhaps you’ll get a better sense of whether we can trust him then,” I say.
Rhett nods. “We can’t give up Jeremy’s position as one of us yet. It’s too much of a risk.”
“Damn it,” Rix exasperates. He looks so tired and concerned. I don’t know exactly how long Jeremy has been in Alistair’s clutches, but Rix is getting desperate.
“I know,” Rhett says, and the concern of a brother lingers in him too.
“He seemed well when I saw him a few weeks ago,” I say. It’s not much, and my chest is tight as I think of his kindness. “He really helped me. Asked about Frodo and Sam. I think he’s worried about your wrath when he gets out.”
“At least he’s keeping confident he’ll get out,” Rhett mutters.
“That’s always him. It’s like he believes he’s fucking Batman sometimes,” Rix grumbles. His mouth slowly upturns, and he chuckles. Even Rhett almost smiles with his breath of humor. “Fuck. I miss that damned kid.”
“We’ll get him back,” Rhett promises, but I hear the note of wariness in him. “It’s late—we need to all get some sleep.”
The thought of going to bed in the warehouse apartment with Rhett sounds like the best thing in the world right now. I wish we could have a week, just one full week, to spend locked up in there alone before we have to dive into the devil’s work. For now, I’ll take every moment, however short, that I can get.