44. Anastasia
We walk hand in hand over the red carpet toward Jacob’s venue. Rix and Adam follow behind us. I spent the journey reeling in my composure, and Rhett barely lets go of my hand, knowing I’m itching with anxiety and what that does to me.
I have to keep it together. My senses have sharpened, and I’m ready, confident even, to see this through to the other side.
“There’s my darling,” Jacob gushes upon seeing me. He hardly pays Rhett any attention, and when he reaches for me I reluctantly let Rhett go. His hands take mine as he looks me over. “Absolutely exquisite.”
I allow him to hook my hand through his arm and lead me inside. Everything in me wants to look back, but if there’s one thing I can contribute more than anyone, it’s putting on a show to blend in with this hall of rich, pretentious assholes.
From the bridal-white he dressed me in to the claim he made of me without acknowledging Rhett, compliance to Jacob tonight only consists of allowing him to bask is his subtle, delusional methods of possession.
“How is my ruby diamond?” he purrs in my ear as we walk.
“Bored already. I do hope you have more to show me here than another fancy room containing too much arrogance to breathe.”
Jacob shifts a cocky smile down to me. “I understand you’re no stranger to a grand party. Trust I plan to make it worth your while.”
I accept a champagne flute, sipping lightly while I scan the room he leads me inside. Dark cigar smoke mingles with lighter cigarette clouds in the low light. It’s more like a reception space, with many deep burgundy Chesterfield sofas, long and singular, creating social groups. I try to find any women, but to my growing unease, I don’t find any. All the men are in tuxes, drinking and smoking. Some cast me looks of intrigue, but their stares hardly linger. It’s like they know a gaze over my body could spell their end.
“A nice venue,” I comment.
“Not very complimentary to the place I designed wholly with you as my muse.”
I start to take in more detail to figure out what he means by that. Perhaps it was the red carpet outside that matches the drapes over a low stage. Focusing on that color, I start to see it more. The napkins at the bar, the straws, the ties the bartenders wear, the rugs, the red-and-gold filigree detailing that climbs the pillars in the room. Then I see the violinists in the corner setting up to start.
“I’m flattered,” I say, but I’m the opposite. I don’t know what it means, but Jacob does everything with a purpose.
Jacob stops, curving around to face me. “I hoped you would be,” he murmurs, low and personal, before bringing my knuckles to his mouth.
I can’t stop my eyes, which flick to Rhett this time with my growing discomfort. His jaw is tightly set, and though he’s trying to let Rix and Adam distract him, the corners of his eyes are blazing on Jacob.
I gasp when Jacob’s fingers grip my chin, tearing my sight from Rhett back to him. His hold isn’t enough to bruise, but it’s a warning.
“You’re mine tonight,” he says.
“Then why did you even invite him?” I bite out.
I’m trying to stay on his good side, but he’s making it too fucking difficult.
“Because you wouldn’t have come otherwise.”
We lock stares, and a shiver of realization snakes down my spine. It turns to ice when he smiles slowly as if he can see my thoughts right through my eyes.
I came with Rhett, but Jacob doesn’t plan for me to leave with him.
“Why did you want me here?” I ask.
“You’ll see, my love.”
“I’m not your?—”
“Come. I have guests eager to meet America’s first daughter.”
I’m led over to a table of men, and while they greet each other I risk a quick look, only needing to keep track of exactly where Rhett is. He’s by the bar with Adam and Rix.
“A great honor to meet you, Miss Kinsley,” an older gentleman says.
I plaster on a smile.
Smile and pretend.
“It’s an impressive tale to hear of your dedication to Mr. Forthson,” another says, sipping his whiskey.
Jacob’s arm curves around my waist. I wasn’t anticipating how bold he would be with me. I try not to let my confusion show.
Jacob says, “When you find the right one, it’s worth shaking a country for.”
“What an admirable engagement gift, an entire venue for your bride,” another comments.
Then I think I understand. No. He can’t possibly mean ...?
The squeeze of his hand on my waist echoes like a siren. It turns in my stomach, and I blink away my dizzy sweep.
Jacob pulls me away from that group, and as he leads me to another, I take the moment alone to voice my dismay.
“You said you wouldn’t want me if I had to be bought,” I snap under my breath.
“I haven’t paid a cent for you,” he replies calmly.
“We had a deal.”
“One that you broke, and I don’t like to be made a fool of, Anastasia.” He turns me into him when we hit a shadowed patch of the room, out of the light. His expression falls, frightening. “As I hear, Silas has allied with Alistair in exchange for a woman and the majority running of his network in private, so long as Alistair remains the head in public. I had hoped to hear it from you. Perhaps we could have worked something else out. Now I’m furious yet still absolutely smitten with you. This is my resolution. To have you. Break you and reshape you. As for Kaiser, he’ll get to watch it all. He’ll guard you, be close to you, watch as you fall for me and listen behind the wall as I fuck you.”
That jerks me back, but his hands tighten on my waist.
“There will be nowhere to fly once I clip those wings, little bird.”
“I’ll never want you,” I hiss.
“You will,” he says, and it’s chilling how quickly his expression eases back to doting on me for the crowd. He tucks a strand of red hair behind my ear.
I swallow hard. Keep it together.
Be brave, little bird.
I breathe consciously. They’re just words. He won’t win this.
My steps are hollow as I let Jacob resume our walk around the venue. We greet more men, and I don’t really hear what they say.
The next time I risk a look over at Rhett I don’t know what the fuck is happening. He, Rix, and Adam have their attention on a young server holding a tray of champagne. But something is wrong. Terribly wrong. Rhett meets my eye then, and even across the room I can feel the creeping chill of terror in them. He doesn’t give a lot away. Anyone else would look over and think they were just unsatisfied with the waiter’s hospitality. He has his back to me and he wears a cap, but something looks familiar.
“We were just heading out now, in fact.” Jacob’s announcement snaps my attention back to the gathered men.
They look at me enviously, hungrily. I’m used to these looks, yet something is different this time.
“Where are we going?” I dare to ask.
Jacob gives me a convincing smile of adoration. “To marry, of course.”
My world is spinning too fast. Of all the things I thought this night could turn into, this wasn’t one of them, and yet it’s become the worst. We thought of an ambush, gunfire, or just a night of pretty words.
I can’t move, but I know Jacob is coaxing me to. Rhett isn’t looking this way anymore as he’s talking to Rix, and their conversation looks intense.
This can’t be happening.
“Come, darling,” Jacob says, and I tremble at his threatening tone. He leans his mouth to my ear. “I’m being merciful in allowing Kaiser to remain in our lives, but make no mistake, I’ll put him down if you keep resisting me.”
That forces me to move. With a break in my heart, I look away from Rhett and follow Jacob out a back door.
“What was the point?” I say. I’m numb and scared, but I get into the back of the car, and he follows me.
The car has facing seats, and Jacob leans back opposite me. He pulls off his bowtie and undoes the first two buttons of his pristine white shirt. I can’t predict what he might do, and I’m thinking the worst, which isn’t going to do me any favors.
Be brave, little bird. It’s all I can chant to keep Rhett close while I’m alone and terrified.
“Kaiser’s worm made the mistake of testing his luck too far. Getting into Lanshall’s network, then finding a location of mine through it to try to be a double agent. Sound familiar?”
I puzzle over what he’s telling me. Then it hits me with dread.
“Jeremy?”
“Little Jeremy,” Jacob muses with a shake of his head. “Gotta give it to the kid, he’s got arrogance. The waste is a shame, but I don’t give second chances to rats.”
“What did you do to him?” Oh god, all I can think of is the young face with curly brown hair that has so much kindness.
“Tonight I wanted to show you what I can build for you,” he says.
“It’s nothing more than finery-coated evil,” I snap.
“I extended the invite to every man who owes me a debt I’m growing impatient for.”
The way he speaks, avoiding my questions and ignoring my responses, it’s like he’s climbing toward the climax of a song, and my heart begins to race faster.
“Please don’t hurt them,” I say, because in my gut, something is growing so terrible and frightening.
“Do you remember what I said about debt, Anastasia?” My name rolls off his tongue like a sick lover’s caress.
I would never forget what he said when it was followed by the merciless killing of Matthew Forbes.
“With what he owes me for you, I don’t think I’ll be seeing it in bills ...”
So blood it is.
“No,” I breathe, spinning in my chair to look helplessly out the back window, but we’re already far from the venue.
“No!” I yell.
Recklessly I grab the car handle, but it’s futile. I’m locked in here, but my fist pounds on the tinted glass as I cry.
Rhett, Rix, Adam ... I can’t lose them all.
“Take me back,” I sob.
Take me back. Take me back.
I’m utterly hopeless here. Trapped.
“You’ll find a new family in what I have to offer you. I promise.” His gentleness is so jarring. In his delusional mind he believes somehow he’ll convince me to want him. “You’re into blonds after all. Am I really so terrible in comparison?”
I can hardly look at him with the manipulation he’s trying. He’s blond, but it has nothing on the unique silvery lightness of Rhett’s hair. His eyes are green, nothing like the depth of a clear ocean in Rhett’s. He’s not fucking Rhett.
“I’ll never be yours,” I say coldly. “I’ll never want you. Never love you. I’ll fight you every day.”
“You’re already mine. You have been for some time.”
My brow furrows, trying to understand what he’s trying to trick me into. “I belong with Rhett.”
Jacob pulls out a sheet of paper, extending it to me. I don’t think I want to see what’s written on it.
“It was a pleasure getting to know you as Miss Kinsely, but you’ve been Anastasia Forthson since the day you signed this license.”
I can’t take it. I can’t see it.
But I remember the day I signed my name carelessly when all that mattered was getting Rhett, and that was the price.
The car stops. I’m going to be sick. Really. As soon as the door unlocks, I tumble out and wretch. Anastasia Forthson repeats in my head, and my skin flushes too hot as if evil is taking over me. The white dress makes sense now, and as I peer up I see a small chapel.
I’m Anastasia Kaiser. I’m Anastasia Kaiser. I’m Anastasia Kaiser.
He can’t take that away from me no matter what a piece of paper says.
A handkerchief floats into my vision, and I take it, wiping my mouth and straightening despite my body feeling like a boulder.
“Nerves are to be expected,” Jacob says casually, knowing damn well I’m not sick with nerves.
“Burn in hell, you twisted son of a bitch.”
“Don’t start your vows yet, darling.”
“Why are we here if it’s already done?” I spit.
“Because I want Kaiser to come for you here only to find out you’ve been my wife the whole time you were with him. He’ll know that he was fucking what’s mine,and he’ll likely believe you knew all along and kept it from him. I win, Anastasia. You thought I wouldn’t be aware of your ruse with Silas, that he’d ultimately chosen a deal with Lanshall. I wasn’t letting you get away with giving me nothing, so I set up the marriage, because if I didn’t have him, I was going to have you.”
“It means nothing. That can’t possibly be valid, and I will fight you.”
“You’ll want to reconsider. The explosive strapped around young Jeremy has two triggers, should you keep resisting.”
My blood runs cold.
I back away until my back is pressed to the cold metal of the car. “You’re a monster.”
Jacob takes that as a compliment, and I’ve never had more violent thoughts toward someone than right now. My hatred for him might trump what I harbor for Alistair.
“Come, wife,” he says, hooking my arm, and when I try to pull free his fingers dig into my forearm. “Keep resisting and I’ll give my guy the signal to blow little Jeremy to pieces. I have no doubt Kaiser and his dogs have discovered it too right now and won’t leave his side.”
I whimper and follow him.
I will never break for him. Never love anyone but Rhett.
I turn hollow when we enter the small hall with three rows of benches on each side. There’s a priest waiting at the end, shaking and terrified. I can’t blame him when there are four men surrounding us. One has his gun out casually in his clasped hands.
Jacob takes my purse from me, setting it on the bench.
“What are we doing?” I ask, trembling with dread.
“We never got the chance to have our ceremony.” He addresses the old, scared man beside us. “Skip the intros, priest. We have a wedding night to enjoy.”
Jacob takes my hands. I’m beginning to feel lightheaded, uncertain I’ll make it through the quick ceremony now he’s planted the news of worse horrors that could be forced upon me tonight.
“Eventually, I’ll take you back to your father,” Jacob says softly. Maybe he feels my stability wavering, and I can’t fight when he pulls me to him with an arm around my waist. “Kaiser gave us the perfect setup. I’ll be a hero to the country, returning America’s daughter from her crazed ex-boyfriend. Then how we fell for each other. Our love will be legendary.”
I swallow back my nausea as the priest begins. Blood roars in my ears so loud I hardly hear it. I speak when I’m told to, but I’m not registering what I’m saying anymore. I think I’m disassociating. I’m trying not to, because that would mean losing my fight.
“You may kiss your bride.” I hear that, and it returns everything I’ve pushed down.
I struggle against Jacob’s hold, but it turns painful.
“Warner,” Jacob snarls.
My sight flashes to the guy who moves, and he’s holding a button. I’ve watched enough movies to know what it is.
I stop moving.
Jacob’s hand slides across my cheek.
“You’d better convince me that you mean this, because if not, I’ll be very, very angry, Anastasia. I never wanted to buy you, and that remains true. I can give you everything you’ve ever dreamed of and more. All you have to do is open yourself to the idea I could make you happy. I notice the way you look at me too—there’s a magnetic attraction you can’t deny. Just let yourself feel it.”
His lips have inched closer to mine, and my entire body is so stiff. Guilt wrecks me completely. I have no choice, but it’s a betrayal to Rhett all the same. Jacob kisses me, and I can’t feel it. His hands squeeze my waist in warning, and I lean into him, trying to pretend I’m anywhere else just to get past this.
Of course it wouldn’t end in a chaste kiss to seal the vows. He turns hungry, and I whimper against his mouth. His tongue sweeps against mine and he clutches me tighter. Tighter. Tighter.
He pulls away abruptly with a wild look in his eyes. He’s breathless, and I’m weighted with shame.
“That was far better than I ever imagined,” he says. “How I can’t wait to have all of you, wife.”
Every piece of me breaks at that.
Jacob takes my hand, leading us over to where his guy has left a copy of the license I signed many weeks ago.
Oh god, when Rhett sees it ...
I stare and stare at the names. How wrong they look together. I try to imagine Rhett Kaiser and Anastasia Kinsley. And like a tiny reprieve from my misery, it tugs a fraction at my mouth.
Then we leave, and I don’t think I’ll know who I am anymore if I’m not Rhett’s.
He made me see there was more inside of me that I was too afraid to show the world. He’s the reason I believe in myself more than I ever have.
Back in the car I begin to tunnel away, knowing what will come next.
“Can you let them go now?” I whisper.
“Would that make you happy?”
“Yes.”
“Then I will. But if they get in my way, I won’t stop to consider it again.”
“Thank you,” I say. Only because it’ll keep him satisfied to hear the hollow words.
“It’ll all be over soon, darling?—”
The gunshot comes out of nowhere. The explosion that follows, sending the car in a tailspin, shatters the world around me. It’s all I hear. All I am. Something slams into me, and the world is all crashes and pain and spinning, spinning, spinning ...
I cough violently, then splutter, at the hot liquid that comes up. My ears feel like they’re bleeding too with the mixture of ringing and cracking that fills them.
I hear voices, but I can’t make out many words. They sound so faraway, as if I’m trapped in a void and no one will find me here.
When I open my eyes it takes a few tries to gain focus. Slowly, I make out the horror of my situation. The car has flipped onto its side and I’m lying in a bed of shattered glass. Tipping my gaze up, I see I’m alone.
Did I fall unconscious while Jacob got out?
I fight tired sweeps, unable to uncurl myself from the pitiful heap that doesn’t want to move. I don’t have any fight left to push the pain away and get out of the wreckage. I know it’s dangerous to stay here when I can see amber diffusing outside. I’m lying in a ticking time bomb.
I want to live. I want to live. I want to live.
I am Anastasia Kaiser.
I hold on with everything I am.