Chapter 26
Adam
I’d known Wilder Saint for over a decade. I’d known his brothers since I’d moved here a little over a year ago. They were good men.
Seeing them fawn over their wives and kids and nieces and nephews and mother and stepfather and stepsister only drilled that home.
But seeing Jo amidst this madness made my heart squeeze mercilessly in my chest. She was adored in this place, and it made me wish she would tell her family about her writing. No part of me doubted they’d be thrilled for her, and Sarah was a true romance lover and would probably be absolutely elated to learn it, not to mention her book-loving father and stepmom.
I’d arrived late due to a time warp while hanging out with Stone, and since Jo had gone early to help with dinner, she’d made me promise not to worry or cut my time short with him. She knew I worried about him—actually now, she knew I worried about everyone.
“Who worries over you? Who takes care of you?”
I could hear her voice and see the concern on her lovely face. Then later, after I’d diffused the yearning in my chest by asking her if she was applying for the job, she’d said she was considering it.
I’d instantly refuted the idea, mentally screaming at myself for ever putting us in the situation where she’d invest so much of her heart into… me. But there was an undeniable echo in my mind saying, Yes, please. Please take the job. And that couldn’t continue.
I’d never stop wanting more of Jo. Every second I spent with her drilled the truth home. But I could not let myself dwell there. And for now, surrounded by her family, I was reminded what real love and partnership looked like.
It looked like Wyatt doting on his pregnant wife. It looked like Warrick gazing at Sadie with so much adoration it was clear he’d forgotten the rest of us were in the room. It looked like Wilder tucking a lock of Sarah’s hair behind her ear, then suddenly snatching their toddling son from the floor and pretending to gobble her up as their baby giggled so brightly everyone laughed along with them.
It looked like Darcy hugging Jo to his side and dropping a kiss to her head, a fatherly expression of what I knew had to be love and pride and admiration, because who could ever spend time around Jo and not feel those things, much less have a hand in who she’d grown to be?
“It’s a lovely scene, isn’t it?”
Jane Saint’s voice startled me from where I stood just inside the front door of her house.
“It is. You have a beautiful family.” As matriarch of the Saint family, she got a lot of credit for raising her sons to be good men and being the kind of people good women would want to tether themselves to.
Her smile was soft as she gazed at the scene. She didn’t pull her eyes from her family as she spoke. “Why do I get the feeling there’s a little wistfulness in there?”
“Ah. Ethan and I didn’t have anything like this. We just… it wasn’t warm. And my parents divorced and my dad kind of disappeared on us, and after that my mom was working hard until she remarried. That was right about when I joined the Army. Ethan had a different experience…”
She hummed. “Wyatt and Wilder remember their dad, but Warrick doesn’t at all. It’s different for each sibling, and there’s a genuine burden on the oldest sometimes.”
I’d never seen any part of my past or my family’s dynamic as a burden. More simply a reality.
“Seems like Darcy fits right in,” I said, watching as baby James collapsed on the floor near Darcy’s feet, and the man picked him up and nuzzled his nose.
“He does. And I’m delighted Jo’s willing to wade into the madness with us, too. I know their house was never like this.” Her blue eyes caught mine and held. “But growing up without it doesn’t keep you from having it.”
I nodded, throat tight. I didn’t often feel all that tender regarding what I did or didn’t have as a kid. I’d had a good life, and I had a good brother, and my mom was happy and safe, even if she wasn’t all that interested in us anymore. We’d built our own family over the years, and it was enough.
But this woman had an uncanny ability to zero in on a forgotten tender place in me. Wilder must’ve taught her some of his observational skills, or maybe he’d learned his notoriously keen ones from her.
She gently but firmly gripped my wrist where my arms folded across my chest. “And if you don’t mind a bit of motherly wisdom, I’d like to suggest that neither does failing at love once or twice. That doesn’t keep you from being capable of great love with the right person and a solid helping of determination.”
I huffed out a breath, glancing at my shoes to give myself a reprieve from her all-seeing Saint blue eyes as she released my arm, but when I glanced up to explain the reasons I couldn’t—the ways I wasn’t capable—she’d already walked into the fray.
“Jo! Your man’s here!” Jane tipped her head my way, and Jo’s gaze snapped to find me.
And then she jumped up, midsentence with Wyatt and Calla, and jogged to me before launching into my arms and hugging me.
“Thank you for coming,” she said, her lips brushing my ear.
“Thank you for letting your dad and stepmom invite me,” I whispered back, to which she nudged me away and smiled.
“So you’re not freaked out?” she asked, happiness etched in every line of her face.
Freaked outwasn’t the phrase I’d use. I couldn’t quite place what I was feeling except… longing. Grateful. Restless. Wishful. Regretful—not about Jo, but that my reality was so far removed from this—from what she deserved.
“No, honey. I’m not freaked out.”
Her gaze went soft and she bit her lip. The air shifted between us, all sound evaporating into the ether beyond us in light of her nearness and her focus on me.
“Hey now, you two. Come join the fun!” Warrick’s voice cut through the moment, slicing like a hot knife through butter.
She blushed prettily and shook her head. “I went from one grumpy, hands-off sister to three ridiculous brothers…”
“Has she ever visited? Met these guys?”
Sadness crept into her expression. “No. Not yet, anyway. She keeps saying she’d like to, but then something happens and she’s called back into whatever crazy international situation she’s managing and I don’t hear from her for a while.” She frowned outright. “I honestly think I’m the person she’s closest to in the world and that makes me so sad for her.”
I kissed the back of her hand, and we walked slowly toward the living room. “Why? You’re a great sister.”
I hadn’t seen them together, but I’d seen her with her stepbrothers, and I’d heard her speak with love and concern about Elizabeth more than once. Honestly, maybe too much concern about what she’d think of her writing, but still.
“I mean, maybe, but I hardly know her. We haven’t seen each other in years. I haven’t lived with her since I was twelve. I hate the idea of her hiding so much of herself—” She swallowed.
I waited, the sounds of her family teasing at the edges of our conversation. She sighed, her shoulders dropping.
“I heard it. I did.”
I dropped a kiss to her cheek. “Good. But no guilt. Let’s go hang out with your people.”
She pulled me into a hug, steering us behind a wall in the kitchen for a few seconds of privacy. My heart beat steadily in my chest as I breathed in her scent and savored her nearness. I wouldn’t ever take it for granted.
She gasped and cupped my cheeks. “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I haven’t said thank you already!”
I tilted my head. “Thank you?”
Her smile was wide and genuine. “For the flowers.”
My mind blanked and I had a moment of panic. Flowers? Was I supposed to send her flowers? Wait, no. She was saying I had.
“I’m sorry, but I didn’t send you flowers.”
“No, you did. They were outside my building’s door addressed to me.”
I was shaking my head before she’d finished. “No, honey, I didn’t.”
Her face fell and she went pale as though a switch had flipped. “He—he did it. He figured out my address.”
A chill swept through me, snuffing out all confusion. “Was there a card? When did it arrive? I?—”
“Shhh. We can’t talk about this here. They can’t know. We’ll stay for dinner, act normal, and then we’ll go back and—” She tucked her hair behind her ears and her hands were shaking. “And then we’ll deal with it.”
Everything in me warred with her on this. Someone had given her flowers and that might not be a problem except everyone in town had seen us out together, for one, but for two… she seemed to know who it was. Not an admirer, but from the pallid look to her usually pink cheeks, the person who’d been sending her letters she didn’t like opening.
“Please. Please let’s just be here and then we’ll handle it. Okay?”
Her gaze searched mine, urgent for reassurance, so I nodded. “Okay. But then, you’re going to tell me everything. No more secrets or downplaying. Not anymore.”
She swallowed hard and nodded.
We took a moment—I breathed deep and she followed my lead, then smiled at me like everything was normal. If anyone was truly watching, they’d see the way her eyes didn’t light up the way they normally would, but in the chaos of the house, it wasn’t hard to believe we’d get away with the ruse.
And then, I spent a lovely evening with Jo’s family while mentally counting down the minutes until I could go figure out if her stalker had found her address.