LANA
Dad sets a cup of black coffee in front of me and sits with his own, which has milk.
“Dad?”
“Mm?” He’s still looking at the door Bates pushed through a while ago.
“Thanks for the coffee, but I take milk.”
When his eyes meet mine, the greenish tint in his hazel gaze seems more prominent. “What’s that?”
“I take milk. In my coffee.”
“Oh.” He stares at the darkness in my cup for a moment and then nods. “Sorry, Goose. Force of habit. Martha takes hers black. I wasn’t thinking.” His gaze slides toward the door again.
“You were thinking, just not about me. It’s okay.
” I give him a forgiving smile. “I’m worried about him, too.
I just wanted to remind you that I take milk.
Like you. We like our coffee the same way.
It might be the only thing we have in common besides our current urge to go after Bates and check on him, but he deserves a minute to himself to recover while we decide who’ll go and sit with him. ”
“It’ll be me,” Dad says, eyeing me strangely — but at least looking at me now. “Kelly’s my friend. It’s me who’s going after him.”
“I was going to suggest I be the one who goes,” I say quietly, getting some milk from the fridge.
“Despite what he told you, it was me who set him off. I feel responsible for his distress, and I’d like to apologize before offering a sensitive ear if he needs to talk.
If he doesn’t, or would prefer to speak with you in that instance, then I will be professional and see that his needs are met. ”
The door bursts open, and Martha stomps in. She’s already covered in mud.
“Meathead Reed just returned that pump he borrowed. The thing was DOA, and he acted as if he did us a fucking favor by killing it. Said it behaved like a possessed squid, broke down every five minutes, and took so long to fill the pond for his wash plant, he could’ve licked the rocks clean faster, but I know it was working fine when he took it.
He probably sucked a fucking beaver up the pipe or some shit.
I told you to stop lending him shit. He wrecks everything.
” She gestures at her mud-caked clothes.
“And he intentionally showered me with sludge when he pulled out. Fucking asshole. ”
She grabs a mug from the cupboard and slams it down on the counter.
“Not that he’d admit to it. It’s pathetic.
The season hasn’t even started, and he’s already trying to cause delays.
He knows I need that pump to run the second plant I want to set up.
Conniving piece of…” Her curses fade into muttered breaths, and she sloshes coffee into her cup.
“Of all the neighbors we had to get stuck with…” She comes to sit at the table. “He’s lucky he delivered compensation in the form of spare parts, or I’d be over there using my steel-toe like a fucking rib spreader.”
She looks between me and Dad, then groans. “You’re fighting already? The sun’s barely up. You’ve got all day for that shit. And you—” She points at me and narrows her eyes. “No doubt you’re hungover and grumpy. No more tequila after dark.”
“Fine.” I turn to my father. “I’m going after Bates.
It’s the most efficient way to put this morning’s hurdle behind us.
I’ll have him working on the pump as soon as I can, Martha.
Getting that second plant set up and functional is one of the first things on the schedule.
” I pause, studying my father’s face. “Unless you’ve made more adjustments you haven’t told me about? To the schedule we agreed upon?”
He looks decidedly sheepish, and I want to say and do so many bad things that I can’t even begin to decide between them.
“I may have added a few things I haven’t yet communicated to you,” he says, cordial as all fuck, because he knows I want to rip him a new one.
Irritation simmers beneath my skin until I’m sure I must be vermillion with rage.
“Right. Well. Maybe I should make it very clear to you that I could make or break your season depending on such communications, so it’s preferable that they be timely and accurate.
I’m beginning to think that maybe you’d actually sacrifice your own success to purposely derail mine. ”
Dad’s eyebrows jump up. “What?”
“Do you want me to fail?” I ask him directly. “Do you want us to fail?”
“No.”
“Then you can’t give me a job only to sabotage me at every fucking turn, Dad.
Is there anything else you haven’t told me about — besides your friend Kelly being here for the season after all?
He’s a huge fucking component in how you’ll run things now.
My whole plan needs revising to account for us having a far more experienced foreman and mechanic on board.
Other workers can be dispersed elsewhere now… ”
From the look on Dad’s face, he’s already made some of those adjustments himself without even wanting my opinion.
The heat rises up my body and focuses behind my eyes.
People talk about steam coming from your ears when you’re this angry, but it seems more likely that steam would shoot from the eyes, where tears of frustration could in fact vaporize upon production. I hope my father can feel the scalding heat of my glare.
“You realize we’re on the same team, right?
Do you know that when you dismiss and undermine my presence, you don’t just make me feel invalid, you actually render me invalid?
Why even invite me? You can lose this year’s wager all on your own if you want to, Dad — you proved that last year.
Do you even want my help to win? Am I here to be part of the team, or are you going to keep leaving me on the sideline as if I have no fucking value to add?
If you want me to leave, tell me now. If you’ll stop wasting my time, I won’t even make you pay the hefty out-clause on our signed, notarized, and laminated contract before I move on.
That’s how serious I am, Dad. I don’t have to be here. I’ve had other offers. Better offers.”
Martha’s coffee sloshes onto the table as she thumps down her mug. “Is Reed one of those offers?”
I motion for her to chill with my hand. “It doesn’t matter. I know how you feel about the guy, so I wouldn’t accept a contract with him.”
“Oh my God. He did try to fucking hire you?” She kicks Dad under the table. “Don’t you fucking let her work for him or anyone else. She’s ours, and she belongs here with us.”
“I know,” he agrees, looking none-too-confident when he meets my eyes again. “I want you with us for the season, Goose.”
The season.
Only the season.
He doesn’t seem to hold the same passion for my company that Martha does, so I doubt he thinks I belong anywhere near him.
I’m not sure he’ll ever commit to me long-term.
I don’t know if he even has the capacity.
Best I see out my contract so I can spend time with my sisters, make my money, and move on.
“Fine. Then I’ll stay for the season, and you’ll do your best to inform me of your plans before changing the agreed schedule.
You’ll also make a list of every fucking addition and discrepancy you’ve already made without my knowledge, and you’ll get it to me by the end of the day.
You can get started on that while I go talk to Bates — and don’t even think about interrupting my process with him.
Just trust that I can manage the situation and wait until we both walk out of his trailer, or I’ll take your interference as one more sign of your intolerably low faith in me, and I will walk.
If anything new comes up, that could even potentially impact this mine, you will tell me. ”
Dad nods.
“Good. Get to work, and I’ll find you later.” I turn to my sister and give her a firm nod, and then leave.
I pause at the door. “Which trailer from my strategic accommodation program did you reallocate for Bates? The nice one near the clearing with the fire pit?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Thank you.”
I swing by my trailer to collect one of my notebooks — the pretty one with the soft embossed cover I like to run my fingers over — then I head for Bates’s place.
My belly won’t quit fluttering, and a small part of me wants to stand outside his door until he discovers me there, but that’s not how things get done in a hurry. I knock twice and then quickly let myself in before he can turn me away.
His eyes are low and he rests his chin on his folded arms while he leans over his table. It’s a big trailer with a decent-sized table, but Bates makes his furniture appear much smaller than it is.
He looks up and seems surprised to see me, but he doesn’t lift his face from moping position. Instead, his gaze drop back to the tiny little shoes on the table in front of him. It’s then that he startles into action, snatching them up and shoving them into the top pocket of his shirt.
“Out of sight, but close to your heart,” I observe quietly with a nod. “You don’t have to hide them. If you don’t want. I’m sorry my question blindsided you, and I wanted you to know that any response was going to be okay by me. Including this one. I… May I sit with you a while?”
Bates doesn’t answer.
“You don’t have to talk to me. I just wanted to be… around. Is it okay that I’m here?”
Slowly sitting up, Bates rubs his cheek and gestures to the seat opposite him, but he keeps his eyes low until I speak.
“It must have felt very real until it wasn’t. You’re allowed to grieve, Bates.”
He swallows visibly, and his eyes slip away from me. “Not sure I’m getting a choice in the matter. Can’t seem to hold it back. I feel like a dick.”
“You’re not a dick. You’re hurting. You didn’t just break up with someone who betrayed you; you lost something that was really important to you along with that trust. I can tell from the ride here with Dad, and the way you were talking before you left the hub, that being a dad is something you really wanted. ”
Bates glances at me again and then covers his face with his hands for a while. “You are too fucking wise and insightful for someone so young.”