15. Vince
15
VINCE
On the drive to my parent’s house, I tried filling the ladies in on the various relatives and friends that would likely be coming over to the feast. As well as any pertinent information they may need to know.
For example, my mom’s brother Eric was an alcoholic and would likely over-drink today and go on to complain about how the Earth was really flat and the government was lying to us all. His wife Betsy would spend the whole holiday complaining about how the justice system was rigged against her son, which was the only reason he was in jail at the moment, not because he actually sold drugs to highschoolers or pistol-whipped the cop who arrested him. Nope , Eric Jr . was an angel, but the judge was just out to get him.
My cousin Tracy would spend the whole night flirting with Archer , and even though he had rejected her about forty times. She had convinced herself he was just playing hard to get, and she just needed to try harder.
“But wait, if they’re both your cousins,” Cat started to ask, and I knew where she was going with this.
“Archer is my cousin on my dad’s side. Tracy is my cousin on my mom’s side.”
That answer seemed to clarify enough for them, but still, they both chuckled in response.
“Another fair warning,” I felt compelled to tell them. “ Tracy’s brother Chet thinks he’s God’s greatest gift to women, and he will spend much of the dinner telling you about it. You two will also be fair game to him, as will any other living, breathing woman in attendance between the age of eighteen and thirty-five. So let me know if he’s bothering you, and I’ll have a word.”
“Vince, if you’re saying any of this to try to deter us, it’s not working,” Val asserted. “ I love watching Real Housewives and telenovelas , and the way you make it sound, it will be like watching one of those shows in real life. I cannot wait!”
I rolled my eyes, figuring it was best to just let them watch the evening play out. With that said, if Chet got anywhere near Cat , he and I would be having words. She may not realize it yet, but that kiss last night had sealed the deal for me. She was mine. I would spend as much time as I needed to convince her to give us a chance beyond friendship.
The plan I had in my mind for when we arrived was to hold Cat’s hand as we walked in the house so that Chet would know Cat was off limits. But , as often was the case, my mom ruined my plan. As soon as the door opened to my parent’s ranch house, my mom leaned in to hug both girls, with Cat being last and grabbed her hands to whisk them away to introduce them to everyone. Having to suddenly deviate from my original plan, I followed close behind, not wanting to give Chet any chance to be his usual creepy asshole right out of the gate.
We walked into the large open room that served as a kitchen, dining room, and living room all in one. My mom and dad had renovated it a few years ago, and it looked really nice. They’d bought this place after my sister moved out so they could downsize and my mom would have less space to clean. It was good for them, but the house hadn’t been renovated since the eighties, so they gutted it and renovated it to exactly what they wanted.
A spacious, bright white kitchen with gray and yellow accents featured a massive island with four barstools. It seamlessly flowed into the dining area, where a large table could seat ten.
Beyond the kitchen and dining room, a vast living room stretched out, furnished with a plush sectional couch, several recliners, and an enormous TV mounted along the side wall, currently displaying the football game.
My dad, uncle, and cousin Chet were sitting in front of the TV watching the game. All three looked up when my mom announced our arrival and introduced Val and Cat to everyone. I watched Chet’s interest shift from the game to the ladies instantly. Taking that as my cue, I walked over to stand directly behind Cat , put my hands on her shoulders, and said hello to my family.
My dad smirked, letting me know he saw my play and thought it was funny. All three men got up from their seats to say hello and shake hands. I backed off when my uncle and father shook the girls’ hands but put them right back on Cat’s shoulders when Chet walked up.
He saw the sign for what it was and thankfully backed off then immediately honed in on Val . I wasn’t too worried about that since I knew Val could hold her own, and Archer would be there soon to assist if Chet appeared ready to cross a line.
Glancing up, I noticed Tracy quiet in the corner. She had been looking at her phone when we first walked in but was now eyeing both the sisters, likely assessing them for potential competition for Archer .
We said hello to my Aunt Betsy as well, and then I noticed my mom’s sister Connie was also in the mix. Connie was my mom’s “normal” sibling. She was great, but she lived in Oregon , where she was an anesthesiologist, so we didn’t get to see her often.
“Here, you all come into the kitchen and meet Vince’s sister,” my mom commanded. “ She was finishing up a few things for me and putting them in the oven when you arrived.”
I followed my mom and the women into the main kitchen space to see my sister sampling several food items.
“Jenny, don’t eat those yet,” my mom reprimanded her and swatted her hands at my sister.
“I was just checking to make sure they weren’t poisoned!” my sister defended.
Coming around the island, my sister hugged both Cat and Val . “ Welcome to the Fletcher Family Thanksgiving . The full shit show has not yet begun, so you’ve arrived just in time.”
“Jenny!” my mom complained.
“Just trying to warn them,” Jenny said, then turned to me. “ Favorite brother!”
“I’m your only brother.” I chuckled as I hugged her.
“You can be both.” My sister laughed, then turned to the sisters. “ Ladies , now that my mom is back to take over, come with me. I need another opinion on my thoughts for Vince’s house he’s building.”
She turned to leave the kitchen, waving her hands for them to follow—until I interrupted. “ Shouldn’t I get to see it too? You know, since it’s my house?”
Jenny sighed dramatically, as if offended that I even had to ask to see the plans for my own home. “ Fine , you can come too,” she relented, then turned to Cat and Val . “ My brother can’t see my full vision, so I need both of your opinions to prove that I’m right.”
“You girls all follow Jenny , and I will go ahead and take Harry ,” my mother announced. “ I made him a beautiful cat haven. I’ll show it to you later. Come , give me that precious baby kitty.”
My mom cooed at the rat like it was the most precious animal on the planet. I also knew there was a high likelihood Harry would be catnapped by the end of the day.
“Vince, are you coming or what?” my sister yelled from the hall, so I followed.
Jenny had apparently taken over my mother’s craft room. She had picture boards and floor plans spread out across a giant table filled with fabric swatches, paint chips, and a whole bunch of other stuff I knew nothing about.
I knew what I wanted for the main part of the house. Craftsman -style architecture, four bedrooms, at least two and a half bathrooms. Obviously , I needed other things too, like a kitchen, living room, and the other usual things, but I didn’t have big opinions on what those should look like, which was where Jenny came in.
Jenny had what she referred to as “vision boards” spread out with how the kitchen should look, different types of fireplaces, windows, floors, and everything in between.
“This is beautiful, Vince ,” Cat said as she looked at everything. It felt good knowing she liked what I was building, especially since if she and I continued in the right direction, she’d likely be living there with me.
“Thanks. It’s a bit overwhelming because my sister’s given me about four hundred choices for every floor tile, cabinet color, and roof shingle, but I think it’s coming together nicely.”
“Maybe you should share some of your dream home Pinterest boards with Jenny —you know, for some ideas, Cat ,” Val said from the other side of the room.
“No, those are just for fun, and this is Vince’s house,” Cat deferred, her face now red.
“Oh, I’m always looking for any ideas. Please show me. I’d love to see them,” my sister said as she clapped her hands together.
I honestly wouldn’t mind seeing what Cat liked. More and more, I could see a future with Cat , so her opinion mattered to me.
“Cat, please sit by me at dinner so you can show me some of the things on your Pinterest board on your phone,” my sister all but begged her.
Before Cat could respond, my cousin Tracy could be heard from the hallway.
“Archer’s here!” Tracy screeched loudly.
“The shit show is about to begin,” my sister said. “ Let’s go.”
We followed my sister, who practically raced down the hallway, as did Cat and Val . At the entryway, we found Archer . He held a food dish in front of him as if to use it to block Tracy from getting too close.
Val took a few steps closer to Archer . I wasn’t sure if she was doing it to get a better view of what Tracy was about to throw down or if she was trying to insert herself to piss Tracy off more. Either way, this girl had a big pair of brass balls.
“Archer, so good to see you again,” Val said as she leaned forward, hugging Archer tightly…and a little too long.
Archer’s eyes met mine, and they were full of mirth, which indicated he knew exactly what Val was doing and thought it was hilarious.
I nodded at Archer and then made my way back to the kitchen. If anyone could handle this it was Archer , and I wanted no part of whatever cat fight might take place. Just as I entered the main room my mother announced lunch was ready to be served and for everyone to take a seat.
In an effort to limit arguments, my mother had decided on assigned seats. Most people adhered to what my mom had chosen, though I had seen Tracy moving hers earlier, no doubt closer to Archer . I was happy to see Cat was on my right, followed by Jenny , then Val and Archer . Tracy sat directly across from Archer , likely so she could play footsie with him. To my left was my dad at the head of the table. My Aunt Connie sat across from me with my mom to her left, then my Uncle Eric , my Aunt Betsy , and Chet .
The setup worked, and I was impressed by my mother’s ingenuity for peacemaking seating arrangements. Most importantly, I was thrilled I was seated next to Cat . Being seated next to her while she wore that orange sweater that was stretched to perfection against her chest would also strain my ability to keep from getting hard at the table.