Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
Drago
Song - Look to Windward, Sleep Token
This is the first time in nearly eighteen years of protecting her that I’ve spoken to her. That I’ve been invited into her space without hiding in the darkness.
And fuck, she stole my breath away. It’s worse than I ever thought it was.
Being around her isn’t just a distraction.
It will be my entire fucking downfall.
She wouldn’t remember me from when Lev took me in. She was too young to notice the people who stayed in the background, too young to remember the danger that already surrounded her.
I never had that luxury. Even as a kid, I was trained for war. He raised me, but it wasn’t in a family home built on the foundations of love and safety. He took me out hunting. Not animals. Men. I was raised on the side of evil. The side he kept Lily away from.
I never lived in the house with his family.
Lev kept me in his penthouse while he trained me.
He broke me down and built me into something useful.
Something that could survive the things he couldn’t protect her from.
He created me to watch out for her. Not to fall for her. And I didn’t. I kept to my word.
Until five years ago.
When her mother took her to America, my assignment changed. Distance became deliberate. Silence became safety.
I flew out when it mattered, stayed invisible, and made sure she was healthy. I watched the milestones from the edges of rooms and took photographs for Lev so he could see his daughter grow without him, so he could pretend the cost was worth it.
I told myself that as long as she was smiling, what we were doing in Russia hadn’t reached her. That the blood stayed on the other side of the world.
Then came the ballet recital. She was safe until that night. That was the moment everything fractured.
I didn’t just see her then. I found her. Broken open in a way no one should ever be. Terrified. Shaking. Still breathing, but barely.
I held her in my arms.
I stayed all fucking night to make sure she was okay. Every moment was like agony, where all I wanted to do was hold her and tell her it would be okay. That I was there, that I always will be.
I broke my rule of staying in the shadows. But I still kept that safety net there; seeing her like that broke my heart. It created a monster inside of me that I didn’t know could exist.
That’s why I didn’t let her see me. I didn’t say a word. Because I’m not a man to be put on a pedestal as her savior.
I’m the man who will draw blood as her revenge. That is who she needs me as, and thinking it could be anything else is selfish.
That was the first time I killed for her. And that’s where the guilt began. Because that was the night something crossed inside me. Not desire. Not then. Something worse. Something deeper.
She stopped being just Lev’s daughter. Stopped being an assignment. She became mine to protect in a way that no longer fit inside the rules I’d lived by.
I told myself it was instinct. Trauma bonding. The aftermath of violence. That it would fade.
It didn’t.
From that night on, every threat felt personal, every shadow too close. Every smile she gave the world felt like something I had to guard.
And I hated myself for it. Because I knew what that line meant.
She could never be mine. Not in any way that mattered. Not without destroying everything I stood for. Not without betraying the man who saved my life. Not without turning protection into something selfish.
So I buried it.
I sharpened it into vigilance. Turned obsession into discipline. Kept my distance even when it hurt. Especially when it hurt.
Because the pain I felt was nothing in comparison to what she had been through.
Seeing her crying in her car while having a panic attack, I couldn’t hold her through. Getting wasted, having one-night stands with losers to see if she could feel something. To prove to herself that night didn’t break her.
But it did. The life behind her eyes died that night, and I haven’t seen it return yet. Not once since has she danced.
All I can do is make small adjustments for her in the background. Quiet fixes she’ll never know about. Like telling Lev to buy her the art gallery. Like moving money and pulling strings, making sure doors open when she needs them to.
I belong in the shadows. She belongs in the light. And knowing that is the price I pay for the night I saved her.
Yet here I am, installing security cameras on her house. Drinking coffee she made for me. Thinking about the smile she gave me, as if it meant something. Like it was meant for me.
And the tiny pink shorts she wore earlier. Barely covering her ass. Seared into my memory whether I want it there or not.
Fuck, I bite down on my fist just thinking about how she responded to my comment about her clothes. The way her eyes glimmered at that tiny bit of protectiveness I showed her.
I didn’t miss the way she squeezed her thighs together, or how hard she blushed around me.
By the time I finish mounting the cameras outside, I knock on her front door again. My pulse kicks hard as I wait. She opens it slowly.
This time, she’s changed. Blue jeans. A white shirt. Hair loose in bouncy curls. Those glossy lips are still doing damage I have no business noticing.
Her eyes are eating me up like I’m her next meal. “Are you done out here?” She asks.
I nod, and she steps aside, letting me back in.
She has no idea who she’s inviting into her home. A man who would rather die than hurt her. A man who has already killed for her.
Still a man. Still human. Still aware of her.
I drop my bag on the floor and pull out the final camera. Smaller. Discreet. Meant for the hallway.
Before I start, I turn to look at her. When I do, her cheeks flush, and it hits me right in the chest. “What made you need all these cameras, if you don’t mind me asking?”
I need to know.
“I had a showing at my gallery a few nights ago, and there was a guy there who creeped me out. Reminded me of the men that my father works with.” Her lips press together. Her eyes widen. She realizes too late that she’s said too much.
Good girl.
“He came here?” The words come out too sharp. I force myself to keep my body still while rage coils hot and vicious in my gut.
She shrugs. “I don’t know. I was drunk the other night, and I swear I saw someone across the road. It was super late. And in this area, you never get people wandering around. I don’t want to spiral and start feeling unsafe.”
She smiles then, but in recent years, her smile has changed. And it guts me.
I step toward her without thinking, impulse pulling me closer. I stop just short of touching her.
“You’ll always be safe.” The words leave my mouth before I can stop them. Not a promise I should make. Not one I have any right to.
She blinks, and something shifts. Then she steps back.
“I’m going to make some breakfast. Do you want any?”
I smile beneath the mask. “No, thank you.”
As I install the final camera, my thoughts spiral. Lily isn’t stupid. Drunk or not, if she sensed someone, she sensed someone. Her instincts are sharper than she realizes.
I need to get out of here. Get back to my surveillance. Now that Declan knows about my side task, I can pull the twins in. Charlotte, too, if needed.
No one touches her. No one watches her without me knowing. Yet that guilt still sits heavy in my chest. Because every feed will be linked to my system, too. And I won’t be able to stop myself from watching her.
She fascinates me. Like a drug I can only get from afar, but I still need to be able to function.