Chapter 66
CHAPTER SIXTY-SIX
Lily
“Do you have to go to work today?” I sigh, resting my head on his pec.
The weight on my chest is heavy today. A day every year I dread. I keep hoping maybe this year might be different.
I’m happier. I’m safe. Surely that should be enough to keep the anxiety at bay.
The back of his hand drifts along my cheek. “I only have a meeting to go over the details for the peace talk on Friday. I won’t be long. I promise,” he whispers.
I let out a breath. Okay. He won’t be gone for long. I can deal with this.
He tips my chin up, his eyes locking onto mine. “When you’re home, do you think you can send my dad out on some errands so we can have some alone time? Just be a normal couple for a while.”
He chuckles, pressing his lips to mine.
“I’m sure I can think of something to keep him distracted,” he mutters.
I pull back, biting my lip. “Can you be quiet, Drago?”
It’s been a week of sneaking around. Him slipping into my room once my father goes to bed, and then gone before I wake, never without kissing me first.
But today, I set an alarm so I could wake up before him. So we could cuddle before he left.
I need him today.
“Me?” he grins.
I nod, sliding my panties off and bringing them up to his chest.
“Open your mouth, Drago.” I order.
He arches a brow.
“I’m not the one with a volume issue,” he says, a grin tugging at his lips as he leans in, his mouth brushing my ear. “Oh, Drago. Right there. Fuck. Ohhhh,” he moans.
My cheeks flush instantly. “I do not sound like that.”
He chuckles. “No, you sound far fucking sexier, Lily.”
Before he can say another word, I hold my black lace panties in front of his lips. “Open,” I say, my voice stern now.
And to my surprise, he doesn’t just open. He dips his head, stuffs them into his mouth, and rolls onto his back, arms folding behind his head like he’s daring me.
So I straddle him. I press kisses along his face, his jaw, down his neck. Slower. Intentional. I work my way down his body until I’m settled between his legs.
When I take him into my mouth, I keep my eyes locked on his.
The way his lashes flutter. The way his eyes squeeze shut as he sucks in a sharp breath. Like I’m the one person in the world who can make him fall apart.
And that is exactly what I intend to do.
Today, I’m taking back some of the power that was stolen from me five years ago. As soon as he’s close, I flick my tongue around the tip, and he groans.
Fuck, that’s hot.
His hand fists in my hair, forcing me deeper, his hips thrusting as he gets closer to the edge. But before he finishes in my mouth, he pulls me off, and in a blur, he lifts me and drops me back onto the bed.
He’s on top of me now, pinning my wrists above my head with one hand. He pulls my panties from his mouth, licking his lips.
“You’re naughty, lastochka. So very naughty,” he whispers.
I wrap my legs around his waist, his cock pressing against my aching pussy. “What are you going to do about it?” I ask.
With that, he shoves the panties into my mouth, and my eyes go wide. “Not. A. Fucking. Sound. Baby,” he grunts as he pushes himself into me.
He sits up, one hand sliding to my throat, the other to my clit, watching himself thrust into me like he can’t get enough of the sight.
“Fuck,” his voice breaks as he tries to stay quiet. “You take me so well, baby. You were made for me.”
All I can feel. All I can think about is him. He consumes me. He silences the noise in my head. He stops the spiral before it can begin.
The weight around my chest starts to lift. It doesn’t take long for me to be right there, and of course, he knows it. He leans over me, pulling the panties from my mouth and replacing them with his tongue, swallowing my moans, kissing the breath from my lungs. “Come for me, baby,” he whispers.
And I do.
And so does he.
My nails dig into his back as I let go and give him everything. When it’s over, he rolls us so I’m sprawled on top of him, my head tucked into his chest as he holds me tight.
“If you’re trying to stop me from going to my meeting,” he murmurs, “your plan is working.”
I giggle, shaking my head. “No. You go. I’ll be here when you get back.”
He smiles, kissing me softly. “Exactly how I want it every damn day.”
My heart flutters. “Me too.”
Drago’s only been gone half an hour, and I don’t even want to drag myself out of bed.
The moment I close my eyes, I’m back there. The worst day of my life. When I open them again, I can still feel him on me. Not Drago. The man who ruined my life.
Shower. Maybe I need a shower.
I jump out of bed, and the world tilts violently. I blink through it, sucking in a breath.
“You’re safe, Lily. You’re safe,” I whisper, over and over, trying to rewire my thoughts.
I flick on the bathroom light, and the brightness punches straight into my skull.
I turn on the shower instead and grab my cleansing balm, trying to ignore the tremble in my fingers.
Fuck.
Maybe I should call Hallie. No. I’m stronger than this. I can deal with a panic attack on my own. I don’t need babysitting.
But my breathing grows heavier. The tremble turns into a shake. I grip the sink, staring at my reflection. I won’t let that asshole steal any more joy from me. He’s dead.
But memories don’t die.
The fear, that constant knowing that at any moment it could happen again. It still lives inside me. Tears slip down my cheeks.
Drago won’t be long. He said it was only a meeting.
I close my eyes, picturing icy blue air filling my lungs just like he taught me. Except this time, it doesn’t work. I pace the bathroom like a caged animal.
What if this isn’t just a panic attack? What if something is actually wrong?
What if no one finds me until Drago comes home?
Am I going to die? Why can’t I breathe?
I dig around in my cabinet and find my version of the cologne that I stashed here. There is no way I can make it to Drago’s room without collapsing.
I spray it, and nothing happens. I keep spraying. Nothing.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
My vision blurs.
I can’t do this. I can’t live like this.
My heart stutters, skipping a beat, fear clawing up my throat—