Chapter 72
CHAPTER SEVENTY-TWO
Lily
I tickle Liam under his chin, and he erupts into the cutest little giggles.
“You’re such a cute little baby,” I coo.
His tiny fingers tangle in my hair, and I wince, which makes Hallie come rushing over.
“Liam!” she laughs, trying to pry his grip loose. “Let go, mister.”
“Do I have a bald patch?” I ask dramatically as Hallie scoops him up.
“No, Lily,” she says, still laughing. “He’s not that strong.”
“You have seen his father,” I argue. “Your son is probably going to be as tall as me by the time he’s four.”
Hallie snorts. “True. But your hair is fine.”
Conan waltzes over like he owns the kitchen. “He just likes pulling girls’ hair. I’m teaching him young.”
“Conan!” Hallie slaps his arm.
“I’m joking, I’m joking,” he says quickly, grinning as he takes Liam. He nuzzles him like he isn’t a lethal man and then heads back over to join the twins.
“You should have one of those,” Bella says, sliding up behind me and pointing at Liam.
“A baby?” I repeat, blinking.
“Yes.” She nods like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’ve already got a big muscly man.”
Heat rushes up my neck so fast I feel it in my ears.
Just thinking about Drago makes my heart flutter like a stupid, lovesick teenager. But then the realization sets in. The amount of unprotected sex I’ve had with him. I rub at my chest, trying to stop the rising panic and hide it from Bella. I need to do that math later.
“Maybe,” I say quietly. “One day. Perhaps when I’m allowed out of Decadence.” I half-joke, but it lands heavier than I mean it to.
Bella’s face softens instantly. “Hey,” she says gently. “It’ll all be over soon.”
That doesn’t help either. What is my future outside of these gates? Do I really want to leave this behind and go back to being afraid of being alone in my own house?
Bella’s eyes flick up to Rowan across the room. He gestures for her, and she gives me a look.
“I’ll be back in a second,” she says, then she’s gone.
I tap my nails against the kitchen counter, the sound too sharp in the warmth of the room. Hallie watches me, instantly picking up on the shift.
“I think I might move away,” I say.
Hallie frowns. “Away?”
I nod, swallowing. “Monaco is the dream.”
Her mouth drops open. “With Drago?” she blurts.
“Yes,” I say, and my voice is steadier than my chest feels. “With Drago.”
Shit. Should I have said that so casually? She’s the only person, besides Drago, who knows me best. A constant in my life for so long that I can hardly remember who I was before Hallie was my best friend. I’ve spent too long hiding my feelings from her.
My gaze flicks around the room. Conan and the twins aren’t listening, too busy laughing about something near the table.
“Don’t mention anything, though,” I whisper.
Hallie smiles softly. “Is that what you really want, Lily?” she asks. “You’ve always seemed so happy here. With your gallery.”
Guilt swarms in my chest so fast it almost makes me nauseous.
She has no idea. Not because she hasn’t tried—Hallie has always tried. She’s the opposite of a bad friend. She’s the one person who kept me breathing through my darkest years.
I just… hid it. Like I was trained to. But then Drago happened. And I’ve started to learn that talking and being open about my feelings isn’t a weakness. There is actually a lot of strength in that.
“I’m not really happy here, Hal,” I admit, and the words taste like shame. “I put a brave face on, but since my last ballet show… I’ve been falling to pieces. And I hid it from everyone.”
Her brows knit instantly, panic flickering across her face. “W-what do you mean?” she asks. “Lily… are you okay?”
I nod, but it’s messy. Not convincing. “I’m getting better, I think. I don’t know. I’ve tried therapy. I’ve got techniques to use. Some days are just heavier than others.”
Her eyes search mine. “Is this why you never went back to ballet?” she asks carefully. “Did something happen?”
My throat tightens, and I take a slow breath, forcing the words through. “Yes,” I whisper. “Something terrible happened to me.”
Before I can look away, she’s wrapping her arms around me, pulling me in like she can physically shield me from my own memories.
“That was always in the back of my mind,” she murmurs. “That’s why I never really pressed. I just… hoped I was wrong.”
My eyes burn. The weight of holding in this secret is just slightly releasing.
The power it held over me for years is gradually losing strength.
And knowing that Hallie was always there, that she saw me and held me up during my worst times, without even knowing the full story, makes me love her even more.
“And that’s also why I answer every damn phone call,” she adds, voice shaking. “Every time.”
A sob catches in my chest, and my tears spill. “Of course you knew,” I whisper.
“You’re my best friend,” Hallie says fiercely. “I didn’t want to push you into talking. I didn’t want to fix you. I just wanted to be there. However, you needed.”
I pull back, wiping my cheeks, embarrassed and grateful all at once. “You were,” I breathe. “More than you know.”
Her expression turns careful again. “Does Drago know?” she asks.
“H-he does,” I say, voice trembling. “He has for a long time.” I swallow hard. “He actually saved me that night. I just… I had no idea it was him.”
Hallie’s mouth drops open. “What the fuck?” she gasps. “That’s insane. Like… destiny.”
I laugh through my tears because it’s the only way I can breathe. “He’s my soulmate,” I whisper.
Hallie squeezes my hands so tightly it almost hurts.
“I’m happy you’re happy,” she says, eyes shining. “And I’m going to hate the fact you’re leaving. But I’ll visit. We’ll call all the time. You’ll be my best friend no matter where you are. And let’s face it, I’ll just use Bella’s private jet. Or get Conan to buy me one.”
Something in my chest cracks open.
I pull her in again, clinging like I’ve needed this for years. “I love you, Hallie,” I whisper.
“I love you more, Lils,” she whispers back, voice thick. “And I think a fresh start will be perfect for you. Even if it kills me that you’re leaving.”
Leaving Hallie is the worst part. But I know she’s happy with Conan. She has her own little family, her own peace carved out. I want my own now.
Hallie passes me my cocktail, and I take a sip. It makes me feel sick as I swallow it. So I place it back down.
Then the air shifts. It’s subtle, but I feel it. Like my body recognises him before my mind catches up. My breath stutters, and my eyes flick toward the doorway. And there he is.
Drago.
His jaw is tight, his shoulders tense, and the second he steps into the kitchen, his gaze locks onto me like a weapon finding its target.
He doesn’t even look at anyone else. Because he’s already reading me.
Scanning my face. Clocking the redness around my eyes, the way I’m blinking too much, the way my mouth is pressed into a line like I’m trying to hold myself together.
He crosses the room in three long strides.
“Lily,” he murmurs as he stops straight in front of me, blocking me from everyone else without even thinking about it.
His fingers cup my jaw, tilting my face up.
“Why are you crying, lastochka?” he asks.
I swallow, my throat tight. “I’m fine,” I lie automatically.
His thumb brushes under my eye, catching the last of the tears I didn’t even realize had spilled again. “Please don’t lie to me, baby.”
I try to smile. It comes out wobbly.
He leans in, pressing his forehead to mine, right here in the middle of the kitchen, like we aren’t surrounded by chaos and killers and a war looming over our heads.
“Talk to me, malysh,” he murmurs. “Please.”
The softness in that word makes my chest ache. It melts something inside of me when he slips in Russian terms. A little reminder of who I really am.
I blink hard. “I told Hallie,” I whisper. “About… everything. And that we want to move to Monaco.”
His entire body stills. “You’re so brave,” he says quietly.
I shake my head. “I’m not—”
He cuts me off with a kiss.
When he pulls away, his hand slides to the back of my neck. “You’re okay?” he asks again, slower this time.
I nod. “I’m okay. I promise. It actually feels good to finally tell the truth. I read somewhere that talking about it gets rid of some of the weight of the anxiety. I don’t want to let it win anymore.”
He watches me for a moment longer, like he’s deciding whether to believe me. Then he turns his head slightly, voice dropping even lower. “I’m so proud of you, Lily.”
The tears threaten to spill again. God. I’m sick of crying so much. The last few days have been so much. “Stop it. You’ll make me cry, and I think I’m going to run out of tears soon, Drago. Even happy ones.”
He smiles. “I just want you to be happy. That’s all I need in life.”
I push myself up on my tiptoes. “I am happy with you. That’s all I need in life. You.”
He presses his forehead against mine. “I need to go speak to your father,” he says.
My stomach twists.
I open my mouth, but he’s already shaking his head.
“No,” he murmurs. “Not an argument. Not a fight. I’m not going to spend another day with this sitting between us. We both need him in our life so I’m going to get this shit figured out with him.”
My throat tightens.
He brushes his thumb along my cheek again, softer now.
“I’m going to handle it,” he promises. “But I need to know you’ll be okay while I do.”
I nod, but my fingers curl into his shirt like I can’t help it. “Are you going to… do something stupid?” I whisper.
That pulls the faintest smirk from him, one that doesn’t reach his eyes.
“Baby,” he murmurs, leaning closer, lips brushing my ear, “the only stupid thing I’ve done lately is thinking I could survive without you. It will all be fine, just trust me.”
He threads his fingers through mine and squeezes.
Heat blooms in my chest despite everything.
“I won’t be long. I’ll come back soon.”
I kiss him again. “Did everything go okay with Declan?” I ask quietly.
“Yeah. It did. I’m confident with our plans; now everything is tied up. So in two days, we should be free.”
I know he’s tense about these peace talks. Like he knows there’s going to be nothing peaceful about it. All I can do is stand beside him and support him however he needs me.
“I can’t wait,” I tell him.
And then I watch as he goes and says hello to the guys, and Hallie slides in beside me.
“Oh, he’s got it bad for you, Lily,” she whispers.
I can’t tear my eyes from Drago. “I know. It’s cute, right?”
“Cute? It’s hot as hell.”
I laugh. “He is hot as fuck isn’t he?”
“I can’t comment, Conan is the only man I see.”
We both burst out into laughter. “We did okay in the end, picking men.”
She holds up her cocktail. “Yes. We. Did.”