Chapter 84
CHAPTER EIGHTY-FOUR
Lily
Hallie doesn’t say a word.
She just wraps her arms around me and holds me tight, like she can physically keep me from falling apart if she squeezes hard enough.
I cling to her like I’m drowning.
My hands shake. My whole body shakes. I can still feel the recoil of the gun in my bones, still hear my mother’s scream in the back of my skull like it’s branded there.
Hallie’s voice drops to a whisper, right beside my ear.
“Lily… whose blood is that?”
My throat closes.
I try to speak, and it comes out fractured. “M-my mom.”
And then I break. Not just a little bit. Not tears sliding down my cheeks. A full body sob that nearly folds me in half, like something inside me is snapping clean through.
Because Drago is still out there. Because my dad is fighting for his life. Because I did it.
I pulled the trigger. I killed my own mother.
Hallie’s grip tightens around me, her mouth pressing into my hair.
“You did what you had to do,” she whispers. Firm. Certain, like she needs me to borrow her strength for a minute.
But my stomach twists anyway. I can’t stop thinking about her face. About how she looked at me like I was supposed to be hers.
Hallie pulls back slightly, just enough to look at me. “Let’s get you into some clean clothes,” she says gently.
I don’t have the energy to respond. I don’t have the energy to be a person. I just let her guide me through the bunker, my legs moving like they aren’t mine, my head floating somewhere above my body.
The underground space is lit with harsh white lights and lined with metal shelves and padded chairs. It’s not cosy. It’s not warm.
But it’s safe. And safe is all that matters.
Hallie sits me down on one of the chairs—more like a tactical seat than furniture—and I stare blankly at my hands, still sticky, still trembling.
Steph rushes over, clutching her little girl in her arms.
Her face is pale. Her eyes are wet. But her voice is steady when she speaks to me, like she’s holding it together out of pure will.
“Finn is with your father,” she says. “He’s in surgery. He’s in the best hands at the hospital.”
My chest aches. I nod once, like I can accept that. Like it’s enough. Like it will stop the terror crawling under my skin.
Hallie kneels, rummaging through a bag on the floor. She pulls out a black sweater and holds it out to me.
“Here,” she murmurs.
I take it with shaking fingers and change quickly, my movements clumsy, my body doesn’t want to remember how to function.
The second I’m done, Bella is already there, pressing a bottle of whiskey into my hand like she’s decided breathing is not optional for me right now.
“Drink this,” she orders.
I blink at her. I clutch the bottle and rest my head against her shoulder, the contact making something inside me loosen.
Bella’s arm wraps around me. “Love you, Lily,” she tells me quietly.
My throat tightens all over again. I manage a small smile. A real one, somehow. “I love you too.”
Bella huffs. “Now drink the damn whiskey. Your skin is grey.”
A hiccup slips out of me. Then another. My laugh comes out broken and watery.
“If I drink this, I’ll vomit all over you,” I tell her, handing it back to her.
“Don’t be a wimp,” she teases.
“I think I might be pregnant,” I whisper. “But I don’t want to get my hopes up in case I’m wrong. Or if something happens after today.”
I wipe the tears away with the back of my hand, and Hallie wraps her arms around me, holding me tight.
“No matter what happens. Whether you are pregnant or you’re not, I’ll be right here for you. Okay? I am never leaving you, Lily,” she tells me.
And now we’re both crying. We’re both scared. The men we love are out there, risking their lives.
As I pull back, Bella is watching us with a smile. I hold open my arms, and she joins. The three of us, standing in the middle of the room, in the middle of a war, holding on to each other like it’s the only thing that matters.
“Damn super sperms, only I could get knocked up in the first month of dating someone,” I mutter under my breath, because what else can I do?
What else can I say?
Hallie snorts softly, shaking her head like she can’t believe this is our reality.
Even though the world is in flames around us… Even though I have every reason to break…
I have them. My family. The ones I deserve. The ones who make me feel safe and loved even when I’m covered in blood and shaking from trauma.
And for the first time all day, the thought hits me like a fragile spark.
Maybe…
Maybe a happy ever after could actually be in my sights.
I just need my Drago back.
I press a water bottle to my lips again and close my eyes, forcing myself to breathe.
Because somewhere above us, he’s still fighting.
And I’m going to survive this. For my father. For my family. For the man I love. For whatever future is waiting for me on the other side of this war.