An Unexpected Lesson #2
“I’m not an incubus,” he said in a rush, skin hot.
“Not … officially. Not until I complete my first summoning, and I haven’t.
” He shrugged helplessly, wanting to pace, but the summoning circle was too small.
“So, I’ve never… It’s traditional to wait until the first summoning.
Which. I have. Waited. If you tell me what you’re seeking in a partner, I can recommend someone. Someone experienced.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin,” the human said, studying Xak with new curiosity. “Social construct and, like, we all are at one point. Some people their whole lives.”
Despite himself, Xak laughed a little at the human’s attempt at reassurance, fangs flashing. Maybe the summoner could talk to Lord Daskimos about social constructs for him.
“Nothing wrong unless you’re an incubus.” Xak’s laughter quickly faded into a wry smile. “Sex is supposed to be part of the package. Sex is the package.”
“Does not being an official incubus mean you don’t do the whole feeding on emotional energy thing?”
“No, I–” Probably best not to say he could already taste the human’s desire, and even though he couldn’t feed from within the circle, he’d stand here as long as he was allowed, just to keep tasting it. “I absolutely do. Theoretically.”
“That really sucks. Not the feeding. That you need to do something or, uhm, someone you don’t want to. And that you’re made to feel wrong about it. I don’t– I’m not good at that. Doing stuff that gives me the ick.”
“Why would you be?” Xak asked, with genuine distaste. “I know we do things differently, but even between humans, sex should be an exchange of pleasure.”
It was the human’s turn to laugh. Like Xak, he sounded more frustrated than amused.
“Tell that to my boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend. I broke up with him earlier, because he got it into his head that I needed him to ‘take charge.’ And he didn’t bother to talk to me about it.”
“Not everyone enjoys power play.”
For his part, Xak had always found the idea of surrendering control tempting. He’d tried not to get too attached to the idea. Submissive demons weren’t in high demand. And those who summoned them weren’t usually … gentle.
“I do,” the human said, with a shrug. “Just, not as the submissive. Boundaries are in place for a reason and he, uhm, crossed mine. That’s why…”
He trailed off, gesturing between them with a weak smile. Right. That was why he’d tried to summon an incubus and gotten stuck with Xak instead.
“Sorry,” Xak said, skin heating again. “I wish I could… I should offer to kill him for you, but I get sick around blood. I know some people? From before I dropped out. Tricksters, too, if you want to mess with him. Though I don’t know all that many. I only took a few semesters. Terrible liar.”
“And you don’t want to be an incubus.” Instead of accusing, the human sounded sympathetic.
“I want to. It’s the test that… I don’t want to fail out of the only thing I’ve been sort of good at.”
“Nerves?” the human asked, the words rich with understanding, a hint of a smile on his lips. “If, uhm. I might be able to– I have an idea. If you’d be open to hearing it?”
Xak had been right. That smile suited his face, and brought attention to a very appealing pair of lips. A full smile would be better, especially if it came with more pleasant emotions, ones that washed away the bitter aftertaste of hurt.
If the man’s desire already tasted so tempting, Xak could only imagine what it might be like, mingled with joy or genuine pleasure. A question he’d tuck away for later, when he was on his own and imagining this whole debacle going very differently.
“Sure,” he said, attempting a smile of his own. “I’m in no hurry to get back to filing.”
“Good to know that filing isn’t your kink.
” The summoner rubbed the back of his neck, a thread of embarrassment watering down his desire.
“So, uhm. We could do a Scene. If you’re comfortable with someone else being in charge.
Me, I mean. It’d take the responsibility out of your hands, no need to worry about whatever you’re ‘supposed’ to do.
With a safe word and a go word. Go, like, ‘keep going’ and unless you used it, we’d stay at the, uh, stage we’d be at. Even if that’s kissing.”
Xak couldn’t help it. He gaped at the man. It wasn’t the offer that threw him. The human had summoned him for sex. Even his attempt to keep Xak instead of summoning a proper incubus was only a little strange. Summoning was difficult and could go much more catastrophically wrong.
The human didn’t seem to mind having his energy nibbled on, but Xak felt safe assuming he didn’t wish to be actually eaten.
No, what confused Xak was the summoner’s attitude. That nervous discomfort. The expectation that Xak would refuse him. Admittedly, Xak’s own nerves spiked, temptation mingled with those same repetitive fears.
You’ll be bad at it. You always fuck up. Theory isn’t practice.
How did he convince the man of his own enthusiasm, when his fears still beat so loudly in his chest?
“I…” He licked his lips, wings fluttering, gaze roaving over the man with open curiosity. “Yes? If you’re really willing.
“Very willing. And very into equally willing partners.”
There it was again, that hint of insecurity. Nervous or no, Xak needed to make it clear that he wanted this too. Well, as messed up as he might be about his own desirability, he wasn’t shy.
“More than,” he offered trying, and failing, to still his wings. “You’re a four course meal served by a very appealing chef.”
He gave the human a lingering once-over as he said it, gaze lingering on those thick thighs and soft-seeming lips. If it helped the man believe him, he was more than happy to leer a bit.
“And I thought only vampires could make eating someone sound sexy. Can you hold off on feeding until I say you can? I don’t like the idea of getting tired in the middle of things.”
“I can’t help tasting you, but I can refrain from,” his lips twitched up in a fang-bearing grin that he hoped came off as flirtatious, “swallowing, until you allow it.”
“Perfect.” And when the summoner smiled at him, Xak felt like he’d actually done something right for once. “I’m not into humiliation, harm, blood, or mind games. That alright?”
“My dislike of blood includes mine. And yours. I get more than enough humiliation from my professors.”
“I think that means we have terms.”
“Hellfire. I mean… Yes?” Shit , the words, the ones needed for a deal. He’d never done this before. “I accept your terms. Release me and I’ll make no claims on your soul nor seek to do anyone harm. And, you can call me Xak. If you like.”
“Hi, Xak. I’m Kai, and really glad I mispronounced that trill.”
“Me too.”
Kai crouched, picking up the candle snuffer. As soon as it went over the white candle, the other four went out, the circle broken. The sense of pressure disappeared with the flames, and Xak rolled his shoulders, stretching his wings and breathing in deeply.
Which was all it took to taste Kai's desire and curiosity without the dampening effect of the summoning circle. Mentally, he upgraded the man to a six course meal. Somewhere exclusive and rare. He tasted so real.
And felt it too, his fingers there, on the back of Xak's hand, because they were really doing this. He was really doing this.
If he didn't fuck it all up before they even got started.
“We’ve both never done this before. Me, demon summoning. You– I mean, you tell me. How much waiting does waiting for the first summoning cover? First kiss? First heavy petting?”
“First meal,” he answered, likely sounding as distracted as he was.
Everything felt sharper, clearer, Kai most of all.
“It's… They say your first meal sets your path.
Your magic. If it's a human, you'll work best with humans.
Same if it's a were or fae or vampire. And if it's a demon, then you're screwed. We can't use each others’ magic.” He shook his head, still watching the hand on his.
“Sorry, you weren't asking for a book report.
I've played some. Just nothing intense enough to risk either of us coming.”
“I’ve studied demonology for years. Book reports are sexy as fuck,” Kai said, cupping Xak’s hand in his own. “Especially when it’s something I never knew before. And you’ve got a nice voice. Ever get yourself off? Or would that be even more destructive than if you fed on a demon the first time?”
Other demons weren’t compatible, but you could still taste them. The flavors odd and incomplete, like eating spices without the food. Desire from a fellow demon was a spoonful of powdered sugar, swallowed dry.
Kai, though… Kai touched Xak’s wrist, pressed a thumb to his racing pulse, and Xak went dizzy with the mingled sensations. He was an incubus. Almost. He wasn't going to lose his head over a man touching his wrist.
“If we couldn't get ourselves off, there wouldn't be a single soul studying sex magic.”
“You’ve got a point there,” Kai said with a snicker, his free hand coming to rest on Xak’s neck, fingertips gentle.
“That’s good. Your greenlight word–the go word–is ‘crystal.’ The safe word is ‘marmalade.’ Like the food.
Unless you think you’ll be calling me a fluffy loaf of bread smeared with tangy marmalade or some shit like that. ”
Bread and marmalade . Xak bristled with the suggestion, even as his breath caught at Kai’s step closer.
“Lobster, dripping with truffle butter,” he said. “Caviar, on a pearl spoon, dusted with saffron. Gilded peaches in sweet cream. Not fucking bread and marmalade. ” Hesitant but determined, he reached to lay his hand on Kai’s chest. “Crystal for go. Marmalade for stop. I can manage that.”
“Didn’t doubt you being able to manage it for a second, Xak.” Kai leaned closer still, their lips almost touching. “You’ve got me thinking a lot of things, but doubt isn’t one of them.”