Chapter 3 Avoidance #2
One thing was certain; there was no way Elizabeth would entertain another proposal akin to the one she received from Mr. Goulding.
Though that marriage had bestowed upon her a loving family, it was a grave error to accept such an arrangement.
She was no Charlotte. She was never going to be content with a pragmatic matrimonial union.
Her heart longed for love and passion in marriage, and without such, she deemed herself better off unwed.
However, this does not imply that Elizabeth did not hold affection for her newfound family.
Both Jemima - Mrs. Goulding - and Augustus, her brother and the present master of the estate, held her in high regard.
Annie, Augustus's wife of two years, treated Elizabeth as a sister.
For their two children, five-year-old Jamie and three-year-old Annabelle, Elizabeth was a devoted aunt.
She eagerly anticipated welcoming a new niece or nephew into her life, as Annie was expecting their third child in three to four months.
Given Annie's challenging pregnancy this time, it was Elizabeth who was taking care of Jamie and Annabelle.
If anyone other than Jane had made the request for her to join in this journey, she would have politely declined.
Her preference was to remain at home and tend to the children, but she found it difficult to refuse Jane.
Her life as Mrs. Goulding was comfortable. But she was never truly content.
Her thoughts wandered back to the night of her marriage to Mr. Goulding.
He had made it clear that he desired an heir, and that was the only aspect of their arrangement that involved them spending any time together.
Her wedding night was spent by her waiting for his arrival before falling asleep on the chair beside her bed.
In the mornings, they put on a facade of a genuine couple, hoping to keep their charade hidden from his mother, now Jemima to her.
But a mother's intuition is keen, and within two weeks of their marriage, Jemima confronted Elizabeth about the truth, leaving her with no choice but to divulge everything.
She even revealed her rejection of Mr. Darcy's proposal.
To this day, Jemima remains the only soul in this world, besides herself and Mr. Darcy, who is aware of what happened on that fateful April evening at Hunsford.
That evening, after dinner, Jemima had a lengthy conversation with her son.
She scolded him for not revealing his heartbreak earlier, then implored him to give Elizabeth a chance.
Life is long, she argued, and it would be unwise to close his heart and deny happiness to both himself and Elizabeth because of one heartbreak.
That night, for the first time, Mr. Goulding came to Elizabeth, and they consummated their marriage.
He was so disinterested and half-hearted, and the act itself was so unsatisfying that had a child resulted from it, Elizabeth would have considered it a miracle from God.
From that day onwards, he visited her sporadically.
Sometimes they shared the same room for days, barely conversing.
Other times, he didn't visit for weeks. Elizabeth, although she still couldn't love him wholeheartedly, always remained available and tried to be a dutiful wife.
Thus, they lived their life for two years, until one fateful day when he failed to return home in the evening.
Mr. Goulding, the elder, immediately sent men to inquire, only to find his son dead in the fields, seemingly having fallen from his horse.
Thus, at the age of three and twenty, Elizabeth became a widow.
Consumed in her reminiscences, she was startled when Hannah called from behind.
"Miss, ya gotta come quick! The Gentleman needs ya in the sick room. It's urgent, he said," Hannah informed her before hurrying to her master to request Mr. Ashton's presence.
Elizabeth rushed to Jane's chambers, having been there merely an hour before. Jane had seemed better then—sleeping peacefully with a lower fever and normal breathing. What had transpired in that brief span?
Upon her arrival, Elizabeth was shocked to see the transformation in her sister.
Jane's eyes were bulging, breathing laboured, and she trembled like a leaf.
Charles desperately tried to calm her, while anxiously looking at the entrance for the apothecary's arrival.
As Elizabeth sat beside Jane, she noticed Lady Catherine's presence in the chamber.
The imposing lady appeared utterly horrified, clinging to the wall behind Charles.
It was then, for the first time, that the gravity of the situation struck Elizabeth—this isn't an ordinary cold; this is much more severe, and they might even lose Jane.
No! God in Heaven, do not let it be so. I can’t bear it.
Darcy
Darcy retired to his study after sending for Mr. Ashton.
Mrs. Bingley’s ailment had lasted for five days now.
Darcy had every confidence in Mr. Ashton, who was a seasoned expert in his field.
However, for the first time, he entertained the notion of seeking a second opinion.
Summoning a physician from Sheffield was utterly impracticable.
Nevertheless, two apothecaries—one situated in Lambton and another in Bakewell—offered accessible alternatives.
With the sleighs at his disposal, he could arrange their transportation to Pemberley despite the inclement weather.
Engaging their counsel might provide Bingley some peace of mind as well.
Just when Darcy completed and sealed his notes to the two apothecaries, Aunt Catherine walked in, accompanied by Mrs. Reynolds. A mere glance at his aunt's worried countenance prompted Darcy to rise from his seat.
"What is it, Aunt? You appear distressed," he inquired, hastening to her side.
"Darcy, you need to do something. Mrs. Bingley is dying.
I can sense it. I saw her struggles just now; she could scarcely draw breath.
I saw Anne endure the same, Darcy. Oh, I will never forget that day.
She passed away in my arms that very night.
Now, the same will happen to this poor girl.
I can hardly bear to witness that young man's sorrows.
I have never seen a man care for his wife as he does.
He will be utterly shattered. Do something, Darcy. "
This was something that Darcy never expected to see from his aunt.
Even though she had been much more gentle and caring ever since Anne's passing, Darcy always expected Aunt Catherine to remain that resolute, strong woman underneath.
After all, one needs to have some inner strength and stubbornness to manage an estate like Rosings for five and twenty years.
This sudden vulnerability, this feebleness displayed by her proved both surprising and distressing to behold.
It also told him of the extent to which Anne's death continued to affect her after all these years.
"Fear not, Aunt. We shall spare no effort to save her. Mr. Ashton will arrive promptly, and I have sent letters to two other Apothecaries. Have faith," Darcy reassured her.
After assisting Aunt Catherine to a chair, Darcy handed the notes to Mrs. Reynolds and directed her to dispatch the sleighs to both apothecaries.
Mrs. Reynolds promptly complied with his request and later returned to accompany Aunt Catherine to her chambers.
Darcy remained in his study, lost in thoughts.
He was aware that Aunt Catherine made daily visits to Mrs. Bingley.
Bingley had confided in him about how she took charge, even going as far as instructing him to rest while she personally attended to Mrs. Bingley's needs.
Why is aunt doing this? She hadn’t even seen Mrs. Bingley before last week. Does she feel regret at how she failed to take care of Anne during her lifetime? Is she trying to atone for her past mistakes by tending to Mrs. Bingley?
Darcy could not think of any other reason for his aunt's behaviour.
Beneath her composed exterior, he suspected she harboured regrets about her life during her tenure at Rosings.
Perhaps that was why she never expressed a desire to return to the estate where her husband and only daughter were laid to rest. Her devotion to Mrs. Bingley could be a form of penance for the significant portion of her life wherein she lost herself, living someone else's life.
A gentle tap sounded upon the door and Mrs. Reynolds walked in, apprising him that his aunt had retired to her chambers and was presently being attended to by a maid.
"Mr. Darcy, there is another matter I wish to bring to your attention, though I understand if you don't share my perspective," Mrs. Reynolds began, gauging his response.
Mrs. Reynolds, a bundle of wisdom, had experienced much in her life. While Darcy might occasionally disagree with her, he knew better than to disregard her advice.
"What is it, Mrs. Reynolds? Pray, tell me," Darcy inquired.
"There is a person who has recently arrived from India, residing along the route to Chesterfield. He was trained as a physician in London before his sojourn in India, where he acquired knowledge of medicinal practices from that region. I have heard whispers among our tenants and staff that he is skilled in treating lung-related ailments. I am aware of your scepticism toward such unorthodox healing methods. But, the physician is inaccessible and Mrs. Bingley’s condition is deteriorating.
I believe it is worth considering this man when there is nothing else to lose. "