Chapter 6 - Revelation #3
Yet, Bingley exhibited no such restraint. He rose, mirroring Darcy's actions, and questioned his sister.
"What words? What drama? What in the world are you talking about?"
Mrs. Hurst trembled like a leaf. Darcy realized that she had seen his anger. He attempted to avert his gaze, not wishing to cause her further distress.
"Charles, Caroline and I engaged in conversation in front of Jane's sister, Catherine, who was a young girl at the time.
We fabricated a tale of you endeavouring to introduce Mr. Darcy to Elizabeth, urging him to dance with her, only for Mr. Darcy to decline, asserting that Elizabeth was merely tolerable and not handsome enough to tempt him. "
A collective gasp of disbelief resonated through the chamber. Darcy saw that his aunt was fuming. Mrs. Hurst, still shaking like a leaf, continued with her explanation.
"Poor Catherine fell into our trap and immediately informed Elizabeth.
Forgive me, Elizabeth. Forgive me, Mr. Darcy.
It was a mistake. I have no excuses to offer.
Mr. Darcy, I shall not fault you should you wish us gone.
In fact, Charles, if you could arrange a carriage for me, I shall return to London, or anywhere with George.
Mr. Darcy, pray believe me when I say that my husband is entirely unaware of all the transgressions I have committed.
He always cared and respected you over the years.
Had he known earlier, he would have surely acted to right my wrongs," she paused, looking at her husband with an apprehension.
Darcy recognized that this was a significant moment in the life of Mr. and Mrs. Hurst. Yet, it was no longer his concern.
His anger churned within him, and he struggled to muster enough composure to withhold its display before those who bore no blame for the situation.
Bingley however was oblivious to the reason for his restraint.
"Darcy, I am astonished at your composure.
Were I in your position, I would be furious beyond measure.
The accusations I made against you, based on something you were completely unaware of, was cruel in the extreme.
However, it was a mistake, a misunderstanding.
But this is different. To think that my sisters, my family, debased themselves by attempting to sully your character, spreading rumours that you had insulted a gentlewoman in public.
I do not know how to apologise adequately, Darcy.
As the head of the family, I am profoundly ashamed. "
Darcy knew that everyone’s eyes were on him.
He resisted looking in her direction, knowing that her eyes would likely be on him too.
He was never a spiteful person. He never held on to a grudge and believed in the power of forgiveness.
He knew that holding onto past transgressions would only fester bitterness within himself.
There was no point in hoping for a different past. The only way was to move forward, and that necessitated forgiveness.
However, forgiving such a grievous transgression, one that had profoundly altered the course of his life and stripped away all his happiness, was no simple feat.
Yet, it was a task he recognized as necessary.
After all, how could a gentleman seek retribution or revenge against a woman who had recently lost her only son in a tragic accident?
Slowly leaning forward in his seat, he addressed Bingley, his voice soft and low.
"Bingley, I am genuinely angry. Were it not for my aunt's astute intervention, I fear I would have erupted.
Allow me to be clear, Bingley. I was well aware of the various motives people harboured towards me.
I knew I was perceived as a desirable husband and a powerful ally by many.
However, I never, for a moment, regarded you in such a light.
I always held your heart to be true, and our friendship sincere.
My sole wish was to witness your happiness.
I was also cognizant that some misunderstanding was at the root of our estrangement.
I should have made a greater effort to rectify that misunderstanding.
Have you ever considered why I came directly to your home from Kent?
I hadn’t even journeyed to my own residence to refresh myself.
Instead, I waited in your front parlour for close to an hour, clad in road dust. I came there to apprise you of Mrs. Bingley’s presence in London.
During an argument we had just the preceding day in Kent, Mrs. Goulding inadvertently hinted at the suffering endured by Mrs. Bingley after you left Hertfordshire.
From her words, I came to suspect that Mrs. Bingley returned your affections.
I arrived at your home to impart this information.
Yet, you never inquired as to why I was there.
You posed your questions, misconstrued my responses, and expelled me.
Later, I dispatched a letter to you, detailing all possible explanations regarding my role in the separation between you and Mrs. Bingley.
I trust you are aware of what became of that letter. "
He paused, observing his friend's reaction. Bingley’s head was down and his eyes were closed. Darcy continued with his explanation.
“In truth, I had resolved to journey to Hertfordshire to confront you, and I was even prepared for a fistfight, if necessary, to mend our friendship.
But then, an event transpired that prevented me from doing so, an event I prefer to keep confidential.
No apology is needed, Bingley. You and I are friends, and thus shall it remain.
You are always welcome at Pemberley, always.
No invitation is required. And that applies to you too, Mrs. Bingley.
I shall reiterate this—I am exceedingly glad that you, Bingley, chose to listen to your heart and marry this worthy lady. "
Turning to Mrs. Hurst, he continued.
"Mrs. Hurst, I know I alarmed you with my anger.
Forgive me. Know that I would never seek to banish you from Pemberley.
Such a circumstance has never occurred here, nor shall it occur in my lifetime.
You are welcome to stay as long as you wish.
After all, your son has become my favoured companion.
Yes, Bingley, you have been surpassed. I would not have my dearest friend depart so soon. "
The easy part was done, but the more arduous aspect remained. Darcy had already resolved not to look in her direction, not wishing to see any semblance of regret in her countenance, regret that served no purpose now.
"Mrs. Goulding, I have never knowingly insulted anyone in my life. And I shall never insult you. It would be the last thing I wish to do in my lifetime. From the very first day of our acquaintance, I have held nothing but respect for you."
And love, but I have no right to express that anymore.
"I find my appetite has waned, and I would like some time alone. I pray you forgive me."
With those words, he rose from his seat and left the chamber.
Elizabeth
So he respects me. That is the extent of his feelings now. I don’t even deserve a single glance.
A collective silence enveloped the table after Mr. Darcy's departure, but Elizabeth remained impervious to it.
Her heart was tormented. Any hope she had held of a future with Mr. Darcy was now gone.
Why would he continue to respect her? She had been the one to heedlessly believe in an overheard insult, closing her mind and heart to the possibility that she might have been mistaken.
Upon hearing Louisa's confession about the insult, Elizabeth couldn't help but feel it was glaringly obvious.
Why had she not considered the chance of a mistake?
Mr. Darcy was not one to risk publicly demeaning a lady.
He was a gentleman of high standing in society.
The last thing he would desire was for someone to challenge him on a perceived insult amidst a country assembly.
Such an occurrence would mar his reputation.
Why would he take such a risk? Why insult her at all?
He could have gracefully declined to dance and walked away.
In a country assembly like the one in Meryton, excuses for not dancing were unnecessary.
There was little point in dwelling on the past now.
Elizabeth acknowledged her own errors and recognized that she must bear the consequences.
She felt undeserving of any sympathy or fairness from Mr. Darcy.
He had every right to avoid her, and it was evident that he had been doing so abundantly since her arrival in Pemberley.
She felt stifled and longed for a walk, her customary way of seeking solace from sorrow and distress.
At least the weather was now pleasant, and nothing prevented her from venturing outside.
She glanced at Jane, indicating her intention to go out.
Jane nodded, but Elizabeth knew she would need to provide an explanation upon her return.
With a polite excuse, Elizabeth withdrew herself from the gathering and stepped out into the open.
Hurst
Hurst was no stranger to anger, even if he seldom allowed it to consume him. Nonetheless, on this specific occasion, he found himself profoundly incensed.
He had long harboured the suspicion that a misunderstanding was at the root of Charles's severed friendship with Mr. Darcy.
Caroline, with her deceitful tales, may have been the one to stir up trouble.
Yet, if both Charles and Mr. Darcy had been willing to engage in an honest conversation, this unfortunate situation might have been resolved much earlier.
He took pride in his wife, who had displayed great courage in revealing Caroline's lies, potentially paving the way for reconciliation.