Intercept My Heart

Chapter 1

2003

“Ciera, what are you doing? You’re going to get us in trouble,” I hissed as my best friend prepared to climb out of the bedroom window. Our foster father, Dennis, often checked our rooms at night to make sure we were in bed. A part of me felt like his motives were impure, but regardless, he kept us on a tight leash at home.

“Come on, Rae. Aren’t you tired of going to bed hungry while they stuff their faces with lobster and steak? Getting our asses beat whenever Vera’s drunk ass needs a punching bag?”

“Of course, I am. What does that have to do with you sneaking out, though?” Everyone called Ciera and me Thelma and Louise because when you saw one, you saw the other. However, Ciera was more of a rebel than me, and she did whatever she wanted to most days.

“Look, Dox offered me some money to make some runs for him, and if it all goes well, I’ll be able to take care of us permanently. I can’t continue sitting on my hands while they treat us like trash, Rae.” Hearing the name Dox sent shivers down my spine, but not in the good way. He and his crew ran drugs all through our neighborhood, and it was rumored they were responsible for the rising murder rate in our city. Since we lived in a lower-class area, the police couldn’t care less about what happened to us. They would rather us take each other out than them having to do it.

“Ugh, you know I’m not good at lying. What happens if Mr. Dennis comes in here looking for you? What am I supposed to tell him?”

“You won’t be telling him anything, because you’re coming with me.”

“Absolutely not. Are you out of your mind?” My anxiety spiked, thinking about the possible consequences of getting caught. I tried to stay out of the way so they wouldn’t bother me. This was the sixth foster home I’d been to, so I knew how things worked. I preferred to blend in so no one would take any interest in me. So far, it’d worked, and I wanted to keep it that way.

“Be serious right now! Look at your eye! Last month, she broke your rib, and now this week, your eye is swollen shut. You can’t tell me that this is the life you want to live. Anything would be better than this,” Ciera pleaded. My hand gently pressed against the swollen flesh under my eye. For some reason, Vera enjoyed using me as a punching bag whenever she drank too much. According to her, I was sneaky and a troublemaker, but she could never tell me what I’d actually done. I still didn’t know where that came from because I mainly stayed to myself. Outside of Ciera, I rarely even interacted with the other kids here, and I never got in trouble.

“Rae, you’ve got to learn to go with the flow. Those people don’t care about us. As long as those checks are deposited into their accounts, I don’t think they will even blink an eye. Besides, we’re seventeen now. We’ll be aging out of the system soon enough, so we might as well get a head start.” Her revelation scared me because I had no idea what my next steps would be, and I wasn’t ready to step out into the real world.

My mother died during childbirth, and my father ended up committing suicide when I turned two. I’d been in the system most of my life. Although Dennis and Vera treated us poorly, I’d experienced much worse. On the one hand, I guess I should be happy about having my freedom, but where would I even go from here?

“I don’t know, Cee. The last thing I want is to get in trouble right now. Besides, I start working next week, so I’ll be able to eat on the job. My manager said we can eat free on the days we work. Plus, we get to bring food home after our shifts.”

“All of that sounds good, but how do you even know they are gonna let you keep that money? Plus, you can still go to work when we leave. I can probably even get Dox to let me drive you. He says he is gonna take me to get my driver’s license this month.” Ciera sounded so excited, but I wasn’t so sure about this. Jumping from one bad situation to another didn’t sound like a good idea to me.

“I need some time to think about this. What about our stuff?”

“What stuff, Rae? You mean the old, dirty, and dingy clothes they pass down from Chloe? We don’t own any of these things, and why would you even want to take it with you?”

“It’s all I have. You’re suggesting I walk out of here with the clothes on my back and the possibility of things being better. I don’t know if that’s a risk I want to take. At least not right now.”

“Whatever, Rae. If you’re okay with this shit, who am I to convince you otherwise. I don’t want to keep Dox waiting, so I guess I’ll see you when I see you.” Ciera huffed. I knew she was upset from the tone in her voice.

“So, you’re leaving? Where are you going to stay?” I knew they would realize she wasn’t home by the morning, and I hated to think about what they might do to her.

“Dox offered to let me stay at his trap house. I can’t live with him because his wife is there. It may not be ideal, but it beats being in this hell hole.”

“Are you still going to be at school on Monday?” The two of us went to Collier High School, a public school in our neighborhood. Technically, she was still a minor, and I worried about what would happen if she didn’t show up.

“I don’t know. Dox wants me to make a few runs for him tonight, so I may be too tired to go to school. My grades are shitty right now, so I don’t even care about going. Are you sure you don’t want to come with me? You know I won’t be able to rest, knowing you’re still here with these folks.” Fiddling with my hands, I wondered if I’d be able to do something so radical. I preferred to keep it safe, and being a ward of the state wasn’t exactly my idea of safety. Plus, I loved school, so I didn’t want to drop out. There was only one more year left until graduation, and I refused to mess up my chances to get into a good school. College would be my way out of the hell I’d been subjected to.

“I’m sure. I don’t want us to lose touch, so tell me where you’ll be so I can find you. As soon as I save up enough money, I’m gonna get a phone so I can talk to you every day.” Ciera was the closest thing to a sister that I’d ever had, and I couldn’t imagine going through life without her.

“I’ll be on Diamond Street, for the most part. Here, I’ll write my new number down, and you call me as soon as you get your phone. I’m gonna leave you with this one as well. It doesn’t have any minutes on it, but there are a lot of videos, voice recordings, and pictures saved in it. The next time you have a meeting with Mrs. Christy, make sure she gets this. It’s very important, so you have to guard it with your life. Do you understand?” I gulped, then nodded to let her know I understood. A part of me wondered about the contents of the phone, but I wasn’t sure if I could handle the truth. Mr. Dennis gave her that phone when we first moved in, and he made it clear it was for her only. Initially, I felt left out, but Ciera told me that it was better that I wasn’t included, even though I had no idea what she meant.

“I don’t want you to go.” Tears pricked my eyes because I feared what would happen once we separated. Not only was I worried for myself but for her as well. What did a grown man like Dox want with a seventeen-year-old anyway?

“You know I hate when you get all emotional on me. You’ve got to toughen up, or this world will swallow you whole, Rae. I may be young, but I’ve experienced more than most adults. This world is evil, and there is no way around it. You either become strong and ready for the battle, or you allow the world to take everything from you. Don’t let them take anything else from you.

“I’ve made a lot of sacrifices to keep you safe. Now it’s time for you to do your part. Keep the room door locked at night and try not to go to sleep until everyone else does. You can’t trust anyone in this house, no matter who they are. Even the kids, okay?” Ciera expressed, wiping my tear-stained cheeks.

“I love you, Rae. I don’t know where life is gonna take us, but I promise that I’ll never stop loving you. Whenever you’re ready, come find me.” We hugged, and I swear I never wanted to let her go. I sobbed into her shoulder until we finally pulled away from each other.

“I love you too. Please be careful out there.”

“I will.”

I watched her climb out of the window and wondered if I had made a mistake in deciding to stay here. Ultimately, the fear of the unknown kept me from leaving. I would much rather stick with the devils I knew than take a risk with the ones out there.

My dream was to become a physical therapist, and I knew there would be no way for me to do so without a high school diploma. I couldn’t afford to make impulsive decisions that could potentially alter my future. I’d made it this far; one more year wouldn’t hurt… would it?

“Charae! Where the hell are you?” Vera yelled through the hallway. I already knew what was up, and I wasn’t in the mood. “I know you hear me!” She pushed my room door open while I lay in the bed, pretending to be asleep.

It wasn’t like she cared one way or the other, because let her tell it, none of us worked hard enough to sleep as much as we did. The cool air caught me off guard when she ripped the covers off me, before tossing them on the floor. We went through this at least two to three days a week. Vera would get pissy drunk and then accuse me of doing something I hadn’t done. Even when I attempted to reason with her, it ended the same way each time. Although Vera was much shorter and thinner than me, I couldn’t fight her back if I wanted to. That was how she got away with it because she knew I was defenseless. If I even held my hand up to defend myself, she would swear I attacked her, which would lead to even more problems.

“Get your lazy ass up! The sink is full of dishes that need to be washed.” My eyebrows furrowed since I knew it wasn’t my turn to wash them. We put up the chore wheel every Sunday, and I knew for a fact today was Drake’s turn. I thought about bringing it to her attention but decided to save my breath. Trying to reason with a drunk was a waste of time. In her mind, I was guilty, and proof wouldn’t change her reality.

“I-I’ll go wash them now.” Drake was one of her biological children, and he often got away with murder around here. Since Drake was a star athlete for our high school, most people treated him like royalty. Even the teachers would make exceptions for him when it came to his attendance. On the rare occasions that I rode to school with him, we would get there late, and I would get written up, but not him.

“It’s too late! You know the rules, but you insist on challenging me. I’m the woman of this house, not you!” I slid out of bed knowing she would more than likely try to attack me. Most days, I would allow her to have her way, but between my hunger pains and missing Ciera, my patience was thin. What did I have to lose anyway?

“I wasn’t aware that it was my day. You want the dishes done, and I’m offering to wash them. What more do you want from me?”

“I want you out of my house. That’s what I want! I’m sick of looking at your face every single day. You should have left with Ciera’s slut ass, because no one wants you here. I can’t wait for the day you age out, and I don’t have to look at your disgusting face ever again. You think I’m stupid, but I see the way you look at my husband. It’s the same way all the other girls that have stayed here looked at him. You can’t have him though. I’ve let a lot of shit slide, but I’ll kill you before I allow one of you sluts to destroy my family,” she ranted. I stared at her blankly, not understanding where any of this was coming from.

Whenever she made these wild accusations, I usually had no response. Beside the fact that he was much older than me, nothing about Dennis attracted me. He creeped me out most days, so I didn’t understand why she thought I wanted him. From dry, discolored skin to his beer belly, which hung over his pants, nothing about him screamed desirable. I had no idea who the other girls were, but I would be willing to bet on my life, they weren’t going after her husband.

“Can I go wash the dishes now?”

“Are you getting smart with me? Huh?” Vera got in my face, but I took a few steps back. I said a silent prayer that someone would step in before things got too far out of hand.

“N-no, ma’am.”

“Damn right. You don’t want it with me because I’ll beat you until you can’t walk. Now get your ass in the kitchen before my husband comes home. I can’t even make him a decent meal because of you!” Stepping to the side, she allowed me to walk past her. I should have known things wouldn’t be that simple when she shoved me down onto the floor. My face hit the corner of my dresser as I went down.

“Ahh!” I screamed, cradling my face in my hands. Blood covered my fingers as I lay there rocking back and forth.

“Get your dramatic ass up and clean my kitchen! You’ve got two minutes to clean yourself up and get in there.” Vera kicked me in the side, then walked out of the room.

There was no time for tears, so I got up, limping to the bathroom. I washed the blood from my forehead, before applying a bandage to it. Vera yelled for me, so I shuffled my way into the kitchen. I’ve become numb to this kind of abuse over the years. Every house I’d been in was reminiscent of the one before it. They would all have big smiles on their faces when my caseworker dropped me off, but the moment she left, everything would change. The bruises and cuts would eventually heal; I couldn’t say much about the damage to my heart. Those wounds would more than likely never recover.

There were only a handful of dishes in the sink, so I got to work quickly. Within fifteen minutes, I finished Drake’s chore and cleaned off the counter too. The floor needed to be swept, so I went ahead and took care of that as well to avoid having a repeat of this later. I heard the door open, but I never bothered to look up. No one in this house paid me any attention anyway.

“What’s up, Rae? Damn, who the hell clocked your shit?” Drake questioned, while walking toward the fridge. We weren’t close, but he spoke more than the other kids.

“I fell,” I replied flatly. Telling him the truth would be pointless because everyone in the house knew what was going on, even if they weren’t dealing with it personally. They chose to ignore it because she left her biological kids alone.

“Damn, it looks like the floor won. Next time, put your hands out.” Drake laughed, pulling out a jug of juice. The sound of someone clearing their throat caught my attention. That was when I realized we weren’t alone. We stared at one another until I got an uncomfortable feeling in my belly. Dinero and Drake were best friends, yet they were worlds apart. Drake was loud and boisterous while Dinero kept to himself most of the time. Dinero always had this faraway look in his eyes as if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. I knew the look all too well.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve laughing at her when you were curled up in the fetal position at practice on Wednesday,” Dinero teased, setting a bag of food on the counter. My mouth began to water since I hadn’t eaten since lunchtime at school.

“Man, here you go. Those laps almost took me out. I don’t know what the coach’s problem was, but he needs to get laid or something. There’s no reason for him to work us that hard,” Drake fussed.

“Hey, we won tonight, so whatever he did worked. Plus, you have some weak ass lungs because I feel perfectly fine.” Dinero shrugged his shoulders. He caught me staring at his food but never said anything. He visited often, but Vera usually put on a good show whenever company came around, so I doubted he knew what went on behind these walls. They engaged in their usual back-and-forth as they sat down to eat. The smell of their food caused my stomach to rumble, but I ignored it as best as I could.

Once I finished sweeping, I rushed back to my room to grab my things for my shower. When I walked into the bathroom, I avoided the mirror as much as possible. My hair was ruined, and the new gash on my head would only make my appearance worse. Vera took her daughters to the salon with her every two weeks, but Ciera and I weren’t allowed to go with them. Ciera did her best to keep our hair looking decent, but now, since she’d left, I didn’t know what I would do. Maybe I should have gone with her like she’d asked.

We were only allowed to take ten-minute showers, so I made sure to wash up hastily to avoid Vera’s obnoxious banging. I didn’t understand how anyone in this house dealt with her, but I guess they were numb to her antics as well. While she mainly targeted Ciera and me, she often woke the house up, screaming and throwing things around. Dennis would intervene after a while, but he often worked late nights, so he wasn’t always there to save us from her rage.

I got dressed in the bathroom. The giant T-shirt I sported hung past my knees, but I wore some shorts underneath. They weren’t the freshest, but they were all I had. The time on my alarm clock read 10:26 p.m., and I needed to get some sleep because Vera would be waking me up bright and early to cook for the family. Sitting on my bed, I glanced over to the empty bed across the room. It’d been a couple of days, and it felt like I was drowning without Ciera here with me. I’d spent most of my life alone, but she changed all of that. From the first night I came here, she welcomed me with open arms and we’d been thick as thieves ever since. My days and nights seemed much longer without her being here with me. There was no one for me to talk to or share my hopes and dreams with. No one else even cared that I existed.

I must have dozed off briefly because when I checked the clock again, the time read 12:15 a.m. My hunger pains were getting the best of me, and I remembered Ciera left her snack box in here. At this point, anything sounded better than trying to sleep on an empty stomach another day. I got ready to check when I heard the sound of my door being opened. I forgot to lock it like Ciera advised. I prayed Vera wasn’t coming back for another round, because I didn’t have the energy for it.

“Charae.” Dennis whispered my name, causing me to freeze in place. He hadn’t come into our room since Ciera left, so I couldn’t help but grow concerned. My floor creaked underneath his footsteps. If I pretended to be asleep, maybe he would go away. It made no sense for him to be in here to begin with.

His heavy breathing filled the room as his dry feet dragged across the wooden floors. Dennis pulled my covers back, exposing my T-shirt covered body. The sudden movement caused me to jump, completely blowing my cover.

“I heard you and my wife got into an altercation this evening. You know we can’t have you misbehaving the way Ciera used to.” I rolled my eyes, knowing she lied about what really happened. His hand traveled up my thigh and the room fell eerily silent. The walls seemed to close around me, and I found it difficult to breathe.

“Please don’t,” I whispered, knowing it would only fall on deaf ears. He came in here for a reason, and my pleas wouldn’t get in the way of his mission. Mr. Dennis slid my shorts down and then tossed them on the ground. I clinched my legs together, trying to protect myself.

“Ciera used to pay the cost for the two of you misbehaving, and since she’s not here, it’s your responsibility now.”

I wondered what he meant about Ciera paying the cost, but I got my answer when he climbed his heavy body on top of me. Ciera would disappear from the room in the middle of the night, then return an hour later with her clothes looking disheveled. Whenever I asked her what happened, she would tell me not to worry. She would assure me that she had taken care of it, whatever it was. As I lay trapped under his body, it all made sense. Her warning the night she left played over and over again in my head, but it was too late now.

Fighting him off would only make matters worse, so I did what I used to when this happened at my last foster home: I stared up at the ceiling and disappeared to my vacation spot on the beach. My feet were pressed into the sand as the wind blew through my hair. The sun glistened on my skin as I took in the beautiful blue waters and the smell of nature. Nothing but peace surrounded me. It was easier to disassociate rather than to acknowledge the pain being inflicted on me.

Tears dripped down my face as Mr. Dennis forced his way inside of my body. The pain temporarily took me away from my vacation, but I fought to get back there. I needed to escape because my reality was much too grim to participate in. His grunts made me cringe, and I couldn’t imagine how anyone could take joy from hurting someone else. His wife slept peacefully down the hall, so it made no sense why he couldn’t find pleasure within his own bedroom.

My mind drifted back to the sandy beach, and this time, I saw another familiar face walking in my direction. I smiled brightly as Dinero brought me one of those fruity drinks inside of a coconut. His face was illuminated as the sun shined down on him. His mustache had grown in, and he looked like a grown-up version of himself. Dinero reached for my hand where an enormous diamond ring sat perched on my ring finger. He leaned over to kiss me, so I met him halfway. His pearly white teeth gleamed with happiness as his hand rested on my protruding belly. All was right in the world, and his love felt so strong that I immediately felt safe. The way he stared at me as if I was the prettiest girl in the world made me nervous. The moment our lips crashed together, I was jerked out of my fantasy.

Dennis jumped up and immediately began to put his clothes on. I wasn’t sure what happened, but it must have spooked him because he tiptoed out of my room the same way he came. The soreness from my lower half couldn’t be missed, no matter how much I wanted to ignore it. The feelings of disgust and shame took over and I desperately needed to be cleaned. Vera could fuss all she wanted, but it would be worth the risk. She couldn’t hurt me any worse than her husband had.

After my second shower, I knew sleep would be nearly impossible. My stomach hurt worse now, but my options were limited. They placed special locks on the fridge and cabinets at night to make sure none of the foster children could sneak and eat in the middle of the night. Her kids knew the code, but they wouldn’t share it, even if they were allowed to.

I hit myself in the head for being so careless. Ciera warned me about locking the door, so I had no one else to blame but myself. I laughed through my tears, thinking about the way she would cuss me out if she knew I broke one of the cardinal rules. Then she would wrap her arms around me and tell me everything was gonna be okay.

Shuffling back to my room, I contemplated all my options. I could run away, but I’d more than likely end up being brought back or, worse, get sent to another home even worse than this one. With foster care, you rarely got placed in a “good home,” and if you did, it would only be temporary. These couples only took in children like us for the financial benefits, but they didn’t care about us.

It seemed as if the treatment became worse with each house, and I didn’t think I could handle much more of this. I’d be eighteen soon, so I would try my best to push through until then. When I walked into my bedroom, a familiar scent passed through my nostrils. I noticed a white fast-food bag sitting on my bed. Turning on my lights, I tore into it to find what appeared to be a sub of some kind in it. Even though it was cold, it still smelled like heaven. My head whipped toward my door, wondering who’d left this. It could very well be a setup for all I knew. Then again, I doubted Drake would go this far, even for a prank. When I unwrapped the sandwich, I remembered that the food Dinero had was wrapped in the same packaging. His last name being written on the white wrapping paper confirmed it, which left me with more questions than answers. Why would he bring me his food?

Instead of overthinking, I hurriedly locked my door so I could enjoy this gift in peace. The Philly cheesesteak looked even bigger in my hand as I sat on the floor.

The first bite almost made my toes curl. I’d never tasted anything so delicious in my entire life. Vera usually let me eat dinner on the weekends, but I could only eat the scraps of whatever her children didn’t eat. She also made me eat outside. No matter the weather, I wasn’t welcomed to eat with everyone else. Ciera and I used to make light of it, because at least we were eating. Vera wasn’t the greatest cook anyway, which was why Drake and her oldest daughter, Chloe, usually brought food home. I couldn’t wait to start my new job so I could make some money for myself and be able to buy my own food.

I ate my food so fast I thought I would choke. However, I didn’t want to take the chance of someone coming to take it from me. After I finished, I instantly felt myself getting sleepy. It’d been years since I’d experienced being full, but it was worth all the discomfort. Instead of sleeping in my bed, I crawled into Ciera’s old bed. My eyes grew heavy, and I decided not to fight it. The weekend would be over soon enough, and things would get better. At least I needed to believe it wouldn’t always be this way.