Chapter 12
Several weeks later
“Damn, it’s lit in this bitch.” Dreis whistled as we stepped into the party. I’d been to a few college parties as a youngin, but it was nothing like what I’d experienced here at Douglasville These mothafuckas barely slept from partying so much. It amazed me that everyone around here managed to maintain their grades.
“Hey, yeah. Did you bring the bars?” my roommate, Montez, asked. He played on the football team with me, but his ass was a wild one. I’d sold drugs for years, but I never touched anything outside of weed, and even that was sparingly due to football. These cats out here were something different. My uncle Ro suggested I bring the pills to school because he swore that college students were a major clientele for him back in the day. He wasn’t exaggerating at all.
Within the first month of being here, the word got around that I was the man to see for all their candy needs. I didn’t need the money, but at the same time, it was hard to pass up. I’d been in the streets since I was a young boy, and it had nothing to do with the struggle but the community. Unc always said the fiends were gonna get it from someone, so they might as well get it from someone they could trust. His logic made sense to me, and for the most part, it brought me a solid clientele over the years.
“Yeah, I brought it. I’ve already gotten a few requests for them, so I’ll probably sell out before the night is over.”
“Fasho. Damn, that ass is fat as hell,” Tez called out when Brandie from my psych class walked by. I wouldn’t lie; her body was thicker than cold grits, but I tried not to look for too long. To be honest, the women here were gorgeous, but they couldn’t hold a candle to my baby. Dre swore that I was blinded by love, but what was wrong with that?
“I’m telling y’all now that I’m probably not coming home tonight. Nyeema sent me a video of her playing in her pussy, and I’m about to slide through as soon as I get a couple of drinks in my system,” Dre informed us. Since we had been on campus, everyone had been doing their own thing and exploring what Douglasville had to offer.
“Is that Drake over there?” Dre pointed out.
“Yeah, that’s him. Let’s go over there and see what that fool is up to.”
Things between us had been weird, but I tried not to trip about it too much. We were going through a major life change, and he also had some family issues to deal with. Honestly, I wasn’t sure how to comfort him because I couldn’t care less what happened to his shady ass parents. It caused a rift in our friendship because I wasn’t able to be there for my best friend like he needed me to be. I tried to reach out to him, but he always found an excuse to get off the phone. Instead of being overbearing, I decided to give him his space until he was ready to talk. We had been friends for many years, so I wasn’t trying to lose him as my brother. At the same time, right was right, and I had to take my girl’s side in this situation.
We headed over to the bar first before we walked over to where Drake and his friends were. This was a party for any and everyone, so there were students from multiple campuses. It had been going on since yesterday, and there was a host of performers who shut the house down yesterday, so I expected more of the same tonight. Right now, they were having some kind of karaoke, and those mothafuckas sounded like hot garbage on the stage. I needed two shots so that I could drown out the sound of them screaming into the mic.
“What’s good with you, bro? I called yo’ ass last week, and you never answered the phone.” Dre spoke to Drake, reaching his hand out for a handshake. I noticed Drake hesitate and wondered what that was about.
“I must have missed it. My coaches have been on my ass lately, so I’ve been sleeping whenever I can. What’s good?” Something in his eyes was off, but I tried to ignore it.
“Yeah, that sounds like some bullshit if I ever heard it, but it’s all good. I was only calling to invite you to the party anyway.” I could tell Dre was bothered, but he brushed it off.
“How have you been, superstar? I see you managed to make a name for yourself out here too. All the folks can talk about is the great Money Sutton and how he’s gonna put Douglasville back where they used to be.” The bitterness in his tone couldn’t be hidden, but I let him slide because, with the cup in his hands, he clearly had gotten a head start on his drinking.
“The team is solid. I wouldn’t really call myself a superstar, because they are strong with or without me. As far as what people are saying, you know I’ve never really cared too much about that shit.”
“Yeah, I bet.” Dre glanced at me, and I gave him a look to let him know I peeped the same thing he did. Something was definitely wrong with Drake. As a friend, it bothered me to know he couldn’t come to me about it, but at the same time, I had to worry about myself right now. College would either make you or break you, depending on how you carried yourself. We were all trying to get our shit together so we could set ourselves up for a solid future.
For the remainder of the night, we chilled and had a good time. Drake bobbed his head to music, making small talk with a few of his teammates, but he kept to himself for the most part. I thought about pulling him to the side later tonight, but I wasn’t sure if that would be the right decision because we were both drinking. Men tend to get more aggressive when liquor entered the equation.
“Hey, Money.” A pretty, light-skinned girl strolled her way through the circle to reach me. I didn’t recognize her, so I gave her a casual greeting.
“How are you doing, beautiful?” Shorty was bad as fuck, no lie. However, the way her ass hung from those shorts made me think she might not be my type. I wanted my girl to express herself how she saw fit but within reason. I didn’t want another nigga to be able to see certain parts of her body that were only made for my eyes.
“Damn, Ryla. Weren’t you just in my inbox a few weeks ago tryna suck a nigga’s dick? I see y’all hos don’t care who you fuck,” Drake spat with venom in his tone.
“Actually, you’re wrong. You’re the one who liked all of my pictures and was sending heart-eye emojis. The only reason why I entertained your ass was because my friend, Lola, said you were a trick, and I wanted a new pair of Gucci slides. Please don’t try to play me like I’m thirsty because I’m far from it, and I’m not a ho. Lame ass nigga.” A few dudes around us burst out laughing, but I wasn’t trying to get in the middle of it. I didn’t know ol’ girl, and Drake was still my homie, regardless of the way he was acting.
“Sorry about that. I know you probably don’t have the best first impression of me, but I’ve been following you for a while. I came over here because I have a clothing line that I recently launched, and I wanted to have you wear a few pieces for advertising. I don’t have a lot of money, but I know how to cut hair, and I’m a beast in math and English if you ever need help with your homework.” Lil mama smiled brightly, showing her pretty teeth and lips. She passed me a business card as well as Dre.
“I respect the hustle for sure. I’ll check out your website and see what you have on there then get with you. I’m always down to help out black business owners in whatever way I can.”
“Thank you, and thank you for being so polite. You can tell a lot of these fools were raised without manners, and I hate that for them.” I knew that was a jab at Drake, but I chose not to respond. Instead, I nodded and watched her walk away.
“Damn, bro. Why did you jump down ol’ girl’s head like that? You were over there sounding like a bitter baby daddy,” Montez joked, making the group laugh, except for Drake and me. I never joined in on bullshit unless it felt right to.
“Nobody asked for your opinion. I don’t like these slut ass bitches. They always want to hop from one dick to the next, so I said something.”
“Yeah, but she wasn’t even on that type of time. You know I love you like my mama pushed you out of her pussy, but you did a little too much. Now she’s gonna be in the group chat talking about you. You scaring all of the hos,” Dre teased, even though I knew he meant what he said. Drake overreacted big time, and it had me looking at him differently. It reminded me of the conversation I had with Uncle Ro.
“Do you trust him?” We stood by his car as he got ready to head out. Since he wouldn’t be here for my graduation, Tootie decided to throw me a pre-graduation dinner so he could be a part of it. Everyone else was in the house besides the two of us, because he asked to talk to me alone.
“Who?” I questioned, inhaling the weed he provided me with. We’d only smoked together a handful of times because I also thought it was weird to do around him. Grown or not, he was still my elder, and I always tried to make sure I kept things respectful.
“Your homeboy Drake. Do you trust him?” His eyes peered at me as if he wanted me to really think about my answer.
“Of course. We’ve been boys since we were little kids. I trust him with my life.”
“Don’t ever say no shit like that. I don’t give a damn how long you’ve known a person. Never trust a soul with the most valuable thing you possess. People equate loyalty with the amount of time you’ve known a person, but those are the people who are more likely to do you the worst. I’m telling you from experience.”
“Are you saying I shouldn’t trust him?” It seemed like he knew something I didn’t, and if that were the case, I wanted to know what it was.
“One thing about us Suttons, we have a keen sense when it comes to people. We’re observant, and we can spot a snake from a mile away. All I’m going to say is that circumstances can alter a person’s loyalty. Just because you’re solid no matter what, it doesn’t mean everyone will remain the same. Keep your eyes open at all times, and don’t put anything past anyone. We’re in this sinful flesh, which means we are capable of anything.”
He patted me on the back, reclaiming the blunt before turning to watch the kids who were outside playing in the neighborhood. Tootie insisted we have the dinner at her house because she knew how we felt about too many people knowing where we rested our heads. The weather brought all the kids outside as they laughed and played without a care in the world. I stood there pondering his words. Uncle Ro gave some of the best advice that kept me out of a few jams, so I trusted his word. However, I couldn’t look at my best friend in that kind of light. Yeah, he had some things he was dealing with, but that didn’t make him a snake. Regardless of his connection to those people, it wouldn’t be fair to hold him accountable for some shit he had nothing to do with.
“You’re a smart kid, and you’ve always been wise beyond your years. When you get to that school, it will be like a whole new world for you. There will be even more obstacles, temptations, and new experiences. Don’t lose focus on why you are there. You have a lot riding on this, and I want you to see it through until the end. Don’t allow anything or anyone to distract you from your goals. Remember that everyone close to you doesn’t want to see you win, especially if they aren’t winning too.”
I refused to see it then, but as time passed, I realized that our friendship was drifting, and I didn’t like the way it made me feel. I rarely allowed people to get close to me, but when those relationships ended, it bothered me more.
Throughout the night, I took a few more shots to the head. The music changed, and it altered the vibes in the room. Everyone was lit and having a good time. I’d gotten comfortable, allowing a few girls to dance on me, but I kept it cool. I was a post-on-the-wall type, so I never strayed too far from that. Sunny was the only girl who got me to even slow dance because I hated it.
“Oh, I know that dick is big,” one of the girls across from me blurted out. Normally, I would have shrugged her off, but the liquor had me out of body. I’d been drinking more and more since Sunny broke up with me. I missed her ass like crazy, so I used liquor as a means to cope. Of course, my paranoia would never allow me to go too far because I needed to always be alert to my surroundings.
“Come over here and find out.” I nodded toward her, and she switched her way over to me. She never told me her name before she turned around and started twerking on me. Her ass was fat, so to be honest, it felt good as hell. My hands held onto her waist, and I slowly swirled my hips to match her movements. You would have thought we were fucking from the way she moved on me. The feel of her ass grinding up and down my length had my shit brick hard.
“Goddamn, do you need a condom, bro!” Dre shouted. He barely got a chance to finish his statement before one of her friends bent over in front of him and bounced her ass to the beat. Within a matter of moments, his ass was in a trance.
“Yeah, I don’t hear you now, bro! What were you saying?”
“Not a damn thing. I might have to tell Nyeema I’m sick.” I chuckled at his statement. Dre had the ladies going crazy on campus, and we already had to put someone out for fighting. Everyone thought I was the playboy, but it was the rest of these fools. Even since I’d been single, no one had been in my bed, and I had no desire to change that. That one slipup opened my eyes to the temptations Unc spoke about. Drunk or not, I had no reason to allow myself to be in the position I found myself in. Harper had been blowing me up about her appointments and being there for her. All of this weighed heavily on me.
“Damn.” I grunted. I hadn’t planned on taking anyone home tonight, but the more she danced on me, the more my reasoning and logic began to go out of the window.
“I’m up out of here.” I tore my attention away from lil mama to look up at Drake’s friend, Shawn. Drake appeared drunk, but his eyes told me it was more than alcohol in his system. I’d sold enough drugs to know when someone was on them badly. His nose was running in seventy-degree weather.
“I’m about to head out myself. These bitches are too thirsty for me. Y’all niggas be careful before you fuck around and catch fleas.” He huffed.
“Damn, you sound salty as hell. What’s wrong, bro? Are you mad because the bitches aren’t checking for you? They probably don’t want a second-string player who’s been riding the bench all season. Ain’t no money when you’re fucking with the help. They want the big dawgs,” my teammate, Raheem, shot back. The fire in Drake’s eyes let me know those words pissed him off, so I moved baby girl out of the way so I could be free to break up any fights.
“What the fuck did you say to me, bitch?”
“You heard me, nigga. I was looking forward to playing your ass to see if you could really hang, but I’ll never get my chance with the way you’re playing this year. What’s wrong? You worried about your pedophile ass daddy getting fucked in prison?”
Wham! Drake punched Raheem in the jaw, and it was on from there. The two of them matched up when it came to height and weight, so I wasn’t surprised to see them going toe to toe. Still, as my brother, the best thing for me to do was pull Drake back and get him out of here. This was a cool little spot, and I was sure they didn’t want any negative attention being brought to their event. Plus, I had these pills on me, and I wasn’t tryna go to jail and fuck up everything I had going on.
“Alright, y’all, that’s enough!” I grabbed Drake up into a bear hug and turned him around so he was facing the opposite direction.
“Come on, bro. This isn’t the place for this. I know he went too far, but you’ve got to keep a leveled head. You can’t allow anything to fuck up what we have going on,” I reasoned.
“And what do I have going on? Huh? You and I are nothing alike. You come out here, and you’re like the second coming, while people like me have to work our asses off to make a name for ourselves.”
“Whoa, where is this coming from?”
“You’re so fucking clueless it’s disgusting. You’re walking around here like a fucking big shot as if I wasn’t a part of the reason we won our last season in high school. Those scouts were looking at both of us equally, but you couldn’t stand to have the attention split, so you hogged the ball for the rest of the season.” His declaration caught me off guard because I wasn’t aware he felt this way about me.
“That ain’t true. All I did was run the routes that the coach called out, and don’t try to sit here and act like I stole opportunities from you. You were the one who showed up to practice late, and you were the one who missed out on the scouts from Douglasville because you showed up drunk, and the coach wouldn’t let you play. You’ve got to own up to your own shit!” My ears grew hot, and my fists were clenched together. We’d never had any real fights in our entire friendship unless it was about sports, but this was different.
Drake glared at me as if he hated me, and I had to have missed all the signs.
“Fuck you, Money! You’re fake as fuck, and it’s all good. I’m the one who got the last laugh at the end of the day.” He laughed sadistically, making me wonder what he meant by that.
“Aye, we’ve all had a lot to drink, so maybe we need to get out of here and head to our separate quarters. We need to sleep this liquor off before we say some shit we don’t mean.” Dre intervened.
“Man, fuck all of that. Whether I’m sober or not, I’m still gonna feel the same way. I’m tired of everybody walking around this bitch like Money is the only nigga around who can ball. I’ve been carrying this mothafucka since we were kids, but everybody always kissed his ass since he ain’t have no parents. Y’all treat him like he already made pro when we both know he doesn’t have what it takes to make it to the leagues.”
“See, I wanted to let you make it because it’s clear that you’ve been drinking, but even drunk, you can’t convince yourself that you’re a better player than me. I’ll give you your props because you’re a beast on the field, but you’ve never been on my level on any day. Now I understand you are in your feelings because the coaches are wondering who they recruited, but don’t take that shit out on me. You and I both know you haven’t been playing your best, but you lack accountability. Everybody else is to blame besides yourself.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I have been distracted. See, I understand why you were so pressed behind Charae. At first, I used to think you were a simp for the way you chased behind her and believed everything she said, but I get it now.”
My nostrils flared from the implication alone. I wasn’t the type of person you could rattle easily, but Sunny was a soft spot for me, and he knew it.
“What the fuck you say to me, bitch ass nigga?” Montez held me back because he must have seen things escalating fast.
“I said, I understand why you were so gone off her. It should be a crime for pussy to be that tight.” As soon as the words left his mouth, my fist was crashing into his face. I blacked out for a moment, and all I remember was dropping that fool to the ground and pressing my knees into his chest as I punched him over and over again.
I heard voices yelling, but I couldn’t focus on them. At that moment, I forgot all about him being a brother and saw him as an enemy. In my mind, there was no way what he said was true, but the arrogant smirk on his face had me reconsidering.
“Alright, that’s enough! Come on, man. Y’all are brothers!” Dre roared, pushing me back after Montez pulled me off a bleeding Drake.
“Naw, we ain’t shit. That nigga is dead to me.” I wiped the blood from the corner of my mouth, where he had managed to get one hit. The man lying on the ground no longer existed to me. I wasn’t the type of person to give second chances because you were never supposed to let a snake have the opportunity to bite you twice.
Drake laughed with blood covering his teeth. No one could convince me he hadn’t lost his mind. Either that or whatever drugs he was on had his mind. One thing about it, though, was drugs and alcohol only intensified the feelings you already had, and it was the reason we would never be cool again. I had too much on the line to be around someone who was clearly self-sabotaging themselves.
“Aye, we gotta get out of here. I talked to the owner and slid him a couple of big faces so he wouldn’t call the cops, but he wants us out of here,” Shawn said. My buzz was gone, and it was best that I get out of here before I showed my ass.
“Hey, are you okay?” the pretty broad from earlier asked.
“Yeah, I’m straight. I’m about to slide out of here, though.”
“Do you mind if I come with you? I wanted to finish what we started.” A part of me wanted to turn her down, but after the night I had, a release was exactly what I needed.
“Did you drive, or you rode with your homegirls?”
“I rode with my girls.”
“Let them know you’re leaving with me. I’ll be outside by the black Mercedes.”
“Hey, some girl keeps calling your phone. I told the bitch you were busy, but she isn’t taking no for an answer.” I staggered over to her, knowing I had no business drinking like this. The last time I got too drunk, I ended up passing out with no memory of having sex. I already had to deal with this situation with Harper. I couldn’t afford another fuck up.
“Hello? Who the fuck is this?” I slurred through the phone. My head pounded, and the room felt like it was spinning.
“Hey, this is Tamia. I’m Charae’s best friend. We met at?—”
“Oh, you must be one of her thot ass friends. I’ve heard about how y’all get down. You’re out there corrupting my baby!” I roared into the phone.
“Umm, maybe I’ll have her call you back. She called a while ago, and some girl answered the phone, so I called back to see if I could get through.”
“She wants to talk to me now? That’s interesting. I’ve been blowing her shit up for the last month and a half, and she’s been curving a nigga. Why does she wanna talk to me now? Huh?”
“Umm, I’m going to let her talk to you.” There was shuffling in the background before Sunny picked up the phone. Even though I was angry with her, I still wanted to hear her voice. I’d been getting her voicemail for the longest, and I craved the sound of her voice more than anything.
“Hello,” she spoke softly into the phone. For a moment, I forgot about everything going on around us.
“Yeah, what’s up?” Silence loomed around us. After a few more seconds of silence, I pulled my phone away to make sure she hadn’t hung up. “Sunny, are you there? What’s going on?” I heard sniffling in the background, which concerned me. Regardless of how I felt, I still cared about her.
“I need to tell you something.” I scoffed, wondering if Drake had called her and told her that I knew about their secret.
“It’s true, isn’t it?” I blurted out. I wanted to believe Drake said those words to get under my skin, but the way Charae was acting made me believe there was some truth to his words.
“What do you mean?”
“I hung out with Drake tonight, and he had some interesting things to say about the two of you.” The line went silent again. This time, my anger got the best of me as I paced the floor.
“Of all of the mothafuckas in the world, why him? I know I fucked up and messed up our relationship, but did you really have to get me back like this? Huh!” My hands were shaking as I held the phone. Sunny had always been perfect in my eyes. She could never do anything wrong as far as I was concerned, but this was a new level of low. The pain radiating in my chest was just a reminder of how deep my feelings ran for this girl.
“You don’t understand!” Sunny sobbed into the phone. Guilt must have been eating her up, but it would do nothing to change what happened. What hurt the most was knowing we would never be able to come back from this.
“What does that even mean? It’s very simple to me. Did you fuck Drake or not?”
“It’s not like that. I swear!” She cried into the phone, pissing me off even more. The least she could have done was be honest about what was going on.
“Make me understand. ’Cause right now, I’m confused as to how you could claim to love me and do me dirty like this. Explain it to me.”
“I can’t,” she muttered in a broken tone. My heart felt as if someone was trying to rip it right from my chest. All the hope I had that we would be able to recover from this disappeared, leaving me with nothing but pain and regret.
“I love you, Sunny. I’ll probably love you for the rest of my life, but we’re done for good. There ain’t no coming back from this shit. I wish you the best, though. I know you’re going to go out into the world and do great things. I’ll be rooting from behind the scenes, but I can’t be in your life anymore.” I disconnected the call, making sure to block and then delete her number from my phone. This chapter in my life was over, and I needed to do whatever I could to move on.
Harper texted me a photo of her ultrasound, and I stared down at the black-and-white photo on the screen. I guessed this was my life now. Regardless of how it came to be, I would make the best of it. There wasn’t any other choice.