Architecti
There is a beat lingering beneath my skin. It throbs over and over and over. A constant coiling coldness that grows ever tighter.
Such a strange contradiction to the warmth building in my chest. The longer I spend with Gellara, the more she burrows into my soul. As though every night she carves off pieces of herself and nestles them between my feathers.
An odd thing, love.
Such intensity for something so intangible. How is one supposed to grasp it to keep hold of it?
And therein lies the problem.
My coiling dread is a kraken slithering through my veins, reminding me that my sister will always take what I have. Destroy what I love. And ruin what I crave.
I need to push Gellara away. For her sake, the noblest thing I can do is give her up.
“You should leave,” I say.
She recoils, the cover crumpling under her balled fist.
“You need to go live your life. Go spend time lobbying to change the system for mortals. Arcadius accepted your paper. He’s willing to hear you out. You could fulfil your dreams. All I am going to do is stand in the way of that. I don’t want that for you.”
She pouts and then glowers at me. “You’re trying to control me the way you control your sister. What I choose to do isn’t up to you…”
“I’m trying to do the right thing.” I lean into the pillow, letting out a frustrated noise.
“Sometimes you have to let go,” she breathes, her hand skirting over my shoulders.
Is she right? Am I trying to control my sister? Perhaps that is my weakness. Perhaps I am not an angel at heart. I fell, after all. If it weren’t for my wings, I’d have convinced myself of my humanity by now.
It has been months.
No. That’s not right. It has been years. Decades.
We play this game, Interitus and I. We chase each other across the city, always moving, always hunting.
Sometimes I am the prey. Sometimes it’s her.
We miss each other, of course. A telling feather lingering in the air the only clue. Or a shred of a shade left crumpled and drifting on the wind.
See, I ought to confess, I don’t really want to find her. Not anymore.
For eons I thought it would be my sister that ruined me, but I find that instead, it’s a demon.
A woman.
A heart.
A soul.
One that I cherish more than life. And that is terrifying. I carry the fear with me; it’s burrowed into my gut. It grows like marrow in my bones and flows through every capillary in my body.
One day Interitus will take her.
I don’t want that to be her fate.
But Interitus takes everything.
“Stop it,” Gellara says, pulling me towards her and kissing me until my lips are bruised and my mouth tastes of her.
She wraps me tight against her body, tugging the covers up under our chins.
“Stop what?” I sigh into her skin.
“You’re overthinking. I can smell it. If you need occupying, then I know what your hands can do.”
“Oh?” I say, giggling into her neck and tracing my fingers down her thighs.
Gellara moans, a sound that tinkles like gems and starlight. Her body arches into me as I run my hands up her legs and over the soft swell of her bum. It sends a throb to my core. I lean into her neck and pepper her throat with feathery kisses.
“Don’t stop,” she whimpers.
So I don’t.
I drag my fingers down her ribs, over her hips and straight to the warmth at her centre. She’s wet and needy, bucking her hips into my hand begging for more.
I push my fingers through her folds, my body heating up as she moans my name. I sing soft murmurings of praise to her and then melt against her as I suck her clit into my mouth.
She writhes and I lick, swirling my tongue around her hardening core.
She gasps as I push a finger into her entrance, gliding in and out.
The rhythm of my tongue matches my thrusts.
Her hips grind harder against my mouth. A moan falls from my lips as I dissolve inside the exquisite joy of giving pleasure.
Of controlling her orgasm and having her fold for me.
Bend and buckle and clench. It drives me wild, my own core tightening and soaking my thighs.
“Slower,” she begs.
And I relent, giving in to her every wish.
“Right there. More pressure.”
Her head kicks back as I go agonisingly slow with my fingers, but flick my tongue a little lighter, a little faster.
“Fuck,” she breathes and then she clenches so hard around my fingers I have to grit my teeth.
Her body lifts off the bed and she cries my name. I wish I could bottle that sound and keep it for the rest of my eternal celestial life.
“Mmm,” I moan as I drag my tongue through the wet mess she’s left me on her thighs.
She giggles and wriggles as I nibble and kiss and lick her sensitive spots.
“I love it when you’re like this.”
She stills. And I realise what I’ve said, what precious word slipped out without my permission.
Love.
“I do, you know…” she says.
“Do what?” I say, nudging her legs open so I can lie between them again.
“Love you, Architecti. I think I did the moment I saw you.”
This time, it’s me who freezes. I want this. And yet my entire being repels it. The more I love her, the worse it will be when my sister inevitably takes her from me.
“You can’t,” I whisper as two shimmering tears fall to her thighs.
“And you can’t stop me,” she says, running her fingers through my hair.
“But Interitus will.”
“She’s stayed under the radar for years, maybe she’s just living her life the way she wants now.”
I scoff at this. “You don’t know her. There is no stopping. She will not relent until she gets exactly what she wants. And what she wants is the total annihilation of our system of fate.”
“Then we’re safe, what would she want with me?” Gellara says and nudges me until I move to lie next to her.
“Because as relentless as she is, I am far more so. I will not let my sister bring any more ruin. And if I stand in her way, then she will come for everything I love and anything I care for.”
“You don’t know that…”
But I do.
It’s a truth that lives in my soul. It’s a kraken, a serpent, a monster shaped like Interitus.
A muffled noise blares outside the windows. Gellara frowns and gets out of bed and strolls to the window, pulling the curtain aside.
Her shoulders stiffen.
“What is it?” I ask.
When she faces me, her stance is rigid, her expression hard.
“They found us?” I whisper, goosebumps breaking out over my arms and neck.
She yanks the curtain shut. “We need to leave.”
I’m out of bed dressing and shoving clothes into bags.
This is what she does. A bubble of anger rises into my throat. It’s not Gellara’s fault, but she doesn’t listen. I told her Interitus would ruin everything, but she won’t ever have it.
And now we’re having to run again.
The chanting grows louder outside. My name a curse in their melody.
My chest tightens.
Gellara pales.
“They’re saying you killed the shades.”
“I know what they’re saying, Gellara,” I snap and instantly regret it.
I run a hand across my brow. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Look, let’s just get out of here, before they break in.”
She nods but doesn’t raise her eyes to meet mine.
And the bitter monster in my gut slithers up my torso and strangles my throat.