Chapter Thirteen
Grayson
“ C an I just check in with Nerds and see how things are going?” I ask, a little frustration seeping in my tone.
Raven shakes her head from where she stands blocking off the hall I had been going to head down towards the office. “No, you can’t. Rage already talked to you about that this last weekend. You aren’t to worry about all the other shit that’s going on and just enjoy this once in a lifetime experience.”
“Come on, Gray, you know she isn’t going to give in,” Ryker drawls as he tosses an arm over my shoulders.
Raven smirks at us. “Exactly. So off you go,” She shoos us towards the back door. “The guys are already at Rage’s. Go get ready for prom.”
Sighing, I let Ryker lead me away from Raven in the main room towards the back door, trying not to think of everything that has been happening over the week. Ever since last weekend when we checked out the warehouse, we haven’t been allowed to have anything to do with it this week.
I know Rage is mostly doing it for Harley. He wants her to have some normalcy in all the chaos that’s going on. That doesn’t mean it’s easy to not think about it.
We sat there and watched a girl who had clearly been tortured get dragged out of the warehouse and shoved into a van going who knows where. The image of her tiny frame will forever be burned into my brain, and the fact that we more than likely will never know what happened to her is both heartbreaking and infuriating.
I want to throw myself into everything and see what else they have discovered this week. Guard cycles, routines, who they have seen… but we know nothing because Rage won’t let anyone tell us until prom is over this weekend.
I’m pulled from my thoughts as a tiny voice squeals behind us. We glance back and see Presley coming out the back door with a very hyper Jayce wiggling in her arms. “You guys heading to Rage’s?” she asks, and I nod. “Perfect. Take this monster with you, please. Tell Axe he just ate and is refusing to go down for his nap.”
“No nap! No nap!” Jayce begins to scream over and over again, making all of us wince.
The little bug is the sweetest boy you will ever meet. He has all the softness that Presley does, but then he also is an absolute wild animal when he is hyper. Which seems to be the current situation.
Ryker takes him from Presley and tosses him up in the air before catching him. “Alright, little rascal, let's go find your daddy.”
Presley gives a quick thanks and then spins around and heads back inside. I’m guessing to head upstairs to where Harley is getting ready with the girls.
When we get to Rage’s house, everyone is sitting at the kitchen table or standing around the room drinking beer. Even Cade has one. As I raise a brow at him, he merely shrugs and gestures towards Rage.
“Jay, buddy, what are you doing awake?” Axe asks as he walks around the counter and snags him from Ryker.
Jayce plants a very sloppy wet kiss against Axe’s cheek and grins, “No nap.”
“Apparently, he didn’t want to nap, and Presley asked us to bring him to you,” I say by way of explanation.
“Ah, being a troublemaker, are we?” Axe playfully narrows his eyes at him.
Jayce shakes his head and then wiggles, wanting to be let down. Axe sets him on the floor, and we watch him run in circles around the kitchen island squealing and trying to tickle everyone.
“You know, I never really thought you guys would end up going to prom,” Axe remarks as he leans back against the counter with his beer again, watching Jayce.
Ryker chuckles, “Neither did we. But it feels right taking Harley. Plus, under all her nerves and nonchalant attitude, she is excited. I can tell.”
“Parker and Stone are going to be tailing you guys tonight,” Rage says. “They will keep their distance. Parker is taking time to work with each of us so we can see how well he handles things before his prospecting year is up.”
“Will you be making him a patched brother at the end of his year?” Ryker asks.
Sugar shrugs. “We all know it’s comin’ up, so we are thinkin’ privately ‘bout it. But we won’t discuss it as a whole until it’s time. We want everyone to form a solid answer for themselves first.”
“It is looking good, though,” Rage tacks on. “I know we’ve had our guard up after all the shit with Connor and Daniel, but Parker has shown us again and again that he can be trusted. He seems like a good kid.”
“All he wants is to be patched in and work at the club,” Axe says with a nod.
“You guys ready to be prospects next?” Noah asks with a smirk.
Ryker laughs, “And have you torment us? Of fucking course. Bring it on, pretty boy.”
Cade turned eighteen a few months ago, but he’s waiting for Ryker and me to turn eighteen as well. My birthday is coming up this month, and Ryker will be eighteen in April along with Harley. Then after we have our actual graduation, we will begin prospecting for the club.
“Are you guys going to be bringing anyone else in with our group?” I ask, raising a curious brow.
“No. We’re going to wait until the following year. I just want to play things by ear and keep us locked down until all this other stuff has been dealt with and we are in a good place to risk bringing in fresh blood,” Rage says and then gets a mischievous smirk on his face as he glances from Cade to Ryker to me. “Plus, that will leave us with ample time to make sure you guys are fit to be patched in after your year is up.”
“That look you're giving us is worrisome,” I chuckle, looking nervously from him to the others in the kitchen.
“He’s probably planning all the ways he can torture us since we’re dating his daughter,” Ryker snarks, shaking his head.
Sugar raises a brow. “Are you forgettin’ that she is the club princess? You all have some standards to live up to, and with any little fuck up we could make your lives hell.” He slowly smiles.
Everyone visits for a while until it’s time to start getting ready. I use the room Rage set up for Harley while Cade and Ry use the other rooms. As I’m buttoning up my shirt, there is a soft knock on the door, and then it’s slowly pushed open, but the person doesn’t walk in. “Can I come in for a second?”
Furrowing my brows, I walk over to the door and pull it open all the way. “Lincoln? When did you get here?”
I step back to let him in as he explains, “Brielle really wanted to be here to help Harls get ready and see her off to prom. I decided to come with her.” He shrugs. “We had planned to be here earlier today, but Bri had to stay late at work.”
I nod and button up the rest of my dress shirt. “I’m glad she was able to make it. Harley will be happy to have her here.”
He nods and takes a seat on the edge of the bed. “I wanted to come say hi and just check in.” Linc runs his hands up and down his thighs nervously.
Not knowing what to say, I turn away and grab my tie to start putting it on. “I’m glad you came by,” I say after some awkward silence passes between us.
“Yeah? I wasn’t fully sure if you really want me around or not. I mean, I know when we met a while ago it didn’t go super well, but I’d like to be a part of your life. I won’t push it, though. If you want me to stay away, I will.”
“It’s not that finding out you existed didn’t go well, it’s just…” I hesitate, biting the inside of my cheek. Turning around to face him, I fidget with the tie in my hands. “After Liam died… I really struggled, and I had no one to help me through it. Dad wasn’t ever around, and Mom drowned herself in alcohol. After they essentially kicked me out, Noah and the club took me in. It helped a lot that I wasn’t alone and I had people. But it still stung when I found out later on that they not only booted me out but then left.”
Locking eyes with Linc, I continue.
“I just closed myself off from talking about Liam. I didn’t even say his name for a few years. I didn’t bring up my parents or anything. I actually only started barely talking about it when I met Harley.”
He opens his mouth to speak, but I keep going so I can get it all out before it becomes too much and I need to shut it down.
“When you told me who you were, I was caught off guard. I wasn’t sure how to handle it, and the thought of potentially breaking down in front of not only everyone in the room at the time but also you was too much. I didn’t leave the room because it was anything bad. I just needed a moment to process. And I do… I do want you to be a part of my life, but I need you to be patient with me.”
Taking a deep breath, I channel Ryker and Cade and the ways they are able to put their foot down and not let people walk over them.
“I haven’t really dealt with everything that happened with my family, so some days it might be more raw then other days. And—and I have to learn to trust you. Liam, I know it wasn’t his fault, but he left me. Then my parents left me. It’s hard not to assume that anyone with the same blood as me won’t also just up and abandon me. Especially when I need them.” I mumble the last part, feeling way too vulnerable around people that aren’t my people.
“I can do that. I have no problem taking all of this at your pace. Whatever you want, Grayson. I’ll be here either way.” He smiles softly at me.
“Right.” I pause for a moment, then groan. “Um, any idea how to tie a tie?”
Lincoln chuckles, “I can show you.” He stands up and takes the tie from me, guiding me through how to tie it properly and fixing the collar of my shirt once it’s on. “I like this red color,” he comments, pointing at the tie as I put on my suit jacket and button the middle one. “Are you matching Harley?”
I nod. “Yeah, Raven told us a crimson red and then had us show her whatever we got so she could make sure it matched right.” I face the full-body mirror in the room and check myself over to make sure everything looks good. “I’m pretty sure Cade didn’t get anything red, though. Bet Raven will love that,” I laugh.
“Well, you look dapper,” Lincoln remarks with a nod.
I grin and note my suit. I have dress shoes on with black slacks, a black button-up, a red tie, and a black suit jacket. I’ve never worn a suit before, and I actually think I like it. Although, I’m positive Ryker and Cade won’t.
Lincoln and I head back out to the living room where everyone is waiting.
Rage offers Lincoln a beer, and Noah makes his way to my side. He glances at Lincoln and then back at me. “Everything good?”
I nod. “Yeah. He said he’ll be patient with me while I adjust to everything.”
“Good,” Noah grunts. “You look great, kid.” He turns to walk away, but then stops and looks at the hallway and chuckles. “Why am I not surprised that Gray is the only one in a full suit? You sneaky little shits.”
Cade is in black dress pants with a black button-up that has the top few buttons left open and the sleeves pinned up to his elbows.
Ryker is also in black but chose a matching red button up shirt and also left the top few buttons open. He has on a black suit jacket but has left it wide open. His normal rings are on his fingers, and he has two chain necklaces hanging down between the opening of his shirt. He looks… he looks amazing in his own Ryker way.
A way that I really love.
“Grayson, you look hot,” Ryker says, winking at me when I flush red.
Rage lets us all have a beer and about an hour before we’re supposed to be leaving, the back door opens and Carly walks in. Her eyes immediately find Rage, and then they jump to the three of us. “Harley needs you,” she tells us sadly.
We all walk closer to her, and Ryker tenses. “What’s going on?”
Carly hesitates, biting her lip. “She is just struggling with something.”
Glancing at the other two guys, I notice they are just as confused as I am, but then Cade speaks up. “I’ve got it. You guys stay here. I’ll text you,” he grunts.
Ryker goes to argue, but I grab his arm and shake my head. “Let him. He will be able to help her, and all of us showing up could be overwhelming.”
Ryker sighs through his nose but then nods and chugs down his beer.
Cayden
I silently follow Carly back to the club and upstairs. As soon as we step into Harley’s room, all eyes turn on me. Raven, Presley, Lex, and Brielle all have matching sullen and concerned looks on their faces.
Carly crosses the room and sits next to Raven on Harley’s bed, and Brielle clears her throat from where she stands in front of the closed bathroom door. “She’s in there. I can’t convince her to wear it,” she says sadly.
I furrow my brows, and Lex explains further, “She bought a dress that shows more of her scars. She was being open about them today but then panicked and doesn’t want to listen to any of us.”
Nodding, I walk over to the bathroom door and slip in without knocking. Shutting it behind me, I lean back and cross my arms, watching Harley as she sits on the floor across the room with her back against the wall.
She stares at me but doesn’t speak.
I can stay silent for a long time, so I just wait her out.
Her eyes hold her pain clear as day. Like she’s been sucked back into memories and is letting all the disgusting things that have been fed into her head from others and even from herself get to her.
Sighing, Harley finally runs her hands down her face. “Maybe we just shouldn’t go tonight.” Her voice is distant, like she isn’t truly in the room with me.
Tilting my head, I ask, “Is that what you actually want? None of us are going to be happy going if you aren’t happy to be there. Although, I don’t think you want to stay home.”
“Don’t psychoanalyze me,” she snaps at me and then deflates, dropping her back against the wall and staring up at the ceiling. “There’s things you guys don’t know… things I don’t even know how to talk about. I thought I was facing it by showing Lex last weekend and then showing the others today. None of them have judged me. One lady at the dress store did, but everyone came to my defense, and it felt so good.”
Allowing her to process everything and continue on, I stay silent, filing away that someone judged my girl and I’m going to need to know who it was and what they did.
“I have more scars,” she says quietly, dropping her head down and staring at her hands that are fidgeting in her lap. “They are worse. The dress I got… the back of it is mostly open, and it would show all of my scars. I-I thought I could handle it. I thought that I could adjust to not caring what other people think. What strangers think. But then—” She shudders and squeezes her hands into tight fists, digging her nails into her palms.
Understanding fills me as I realize what the problem is. It’s a very silly problem, but I can also understand the need to hear the words. To have the validation.
Sometimes even when I refused to speak, I felt like I might be hurting the people I didn’t want to hurt. Until they would tell me it was okay. Or tell me that it didn’t matter if I never talked again or started talking a year from now.
Words matter. And now, I get to use my own words in ways I want that will impact someone I care deeply for. I can make my words matter in my own way.
Walking across the bathroom, I squat over her outstretched legs and tip her chin up with a single finger. “Are you worried about how Grayson, Ryker, and I might react to them?” I say softly, my voice barely above a whisper.
Harley nods, and a single tear runs down her cheek. With just that tear and her large, sad, hazel eyes, she is being vulnerable with me. She’s trusting me. That makes something in my chest flutter and before I can think twice about it, the words are spewing out.
“Baby girl, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. When I look at you, I see your scar.” I gently run my thumb over the scar on her cheek. “But it doesn’t take away from your beauty. It shows me how you are the epitome of strength and grace. We aren’t with you because you are flawless. We are with you because you bring us all a sense of peace that we’ve never had before.
“When I look at my brothers, I know I will always have them with me. Always. I can count on them for anything and everything. But then you came along and changed everything because not only do we always have each other, but now we have a home.”
Wiping the tears that are flowing down her cheeks, I make sure she is taking in everything I am saying as I focus on her glossy hazel eyes.
“You are our home, baby girl. Wherever you are is where we find peace and safety. So no, your scars do not change a thing. Will we be enraged that you have had to suffer so much? Yes. But it will never take away from what we see when we look at you. I swear that on my life.”
She sniffles, and a slow smile works its way over her lips. “You just said so much all at once, Cade,” Harley murmurs in awe.
Rolling my eyes, I grunt and stand back up, putting my hands out for her. She takes them, and I pull her up to her feet. “Now, you are going to take this t-shirt off and face the mirror for me.” Harley furrows her brows, but before she can protest, I press a finger against her lips and shake my head. “We don’t have that much time before we need to leave, so don’t argue with me.”
Harley pulls her t-shirt off and then hesitantly steps in front of the mirror over the vanity, giving me her back. Coming up behind her, I grasp her hips and then bend down and press my lips against the scar on her shoulder, locking eyes with her through the mirror.
Then I continue on, running my fingers over the scars that are scattered on her back. Some clearly from a whip, some from a belt, and there are knife cuts everywhere. The fury I feel for her burns me from the inside out, and I have to remind myself this is about her and making her feel good.
The rest can come later when someday I get to face Tammy and give her a taste of her own medicine.
My lips follow the path of my fingers and I kiss every scar on her back. By the time I stand up straight again, Harley has her eyes closed and slowly blinks them open.
“Thank you,” she says softly, her passionate gaze meeting mine.
Spinning her around, I grip the side of her neck and kiss her, giving her everything I have. Pulling back, I gently bite her bottom lip and then soothe it with my tongue before murmuring, “Now go out there, put on your dress, and let us show you just how perfect you are.”
“Okay,” she breathes, dazed.
Harley takes a breath, straightens her shoulders, and heads to the door.
A small smile graces my lips as I watch the strength my girl has rise back to the surface and she yet again shows all of us how fucking amazing she truly is.