Chapter 20
Hollywood, California
The days of travel with Sam took on a new tone after the night by the fire.
Excitement warmed the air as our affection for each other grew.
He continued to honor his words to me and never asked for a kiss, but he found ways to hold my hand or touch my cheek or sit near me.
At night, especially once we were on the ferry back to San Francisco, he lay a little closer, his hand often finding mine in the darkness.
I both anticipated and dreaded returning to Father and the children, not knowing how things might change.
And now, I had less than one month to choose which path I was going to take—a daunting decision that I didn’t feel any certainty about, made harder by my growing feelings for Sam.
I would enter as Jo, melancholy that Beth was no longer with us but happy that everyone was together again.
“Ready?” Papa asked me.
I nodded, though tears had gathered in my eyes.
This scene hit too close to my heart. I had wanted to talk to Mama and Grace about my final decision, but there had never been a good time.
The past week had been grueling and tiresome.
I didn’t even need to worry about being alone with Spencer because there wasn’t any time for dates.
We worked from morning until night, only stopping for a few hours to sleep, and then returning to the studio to keep going.
Papa was desperate to be done. There was no more money and no means to get any.
Mama and Papa had sold their Dodge, and every bit of Mama’s jewelry except her wedding ring had been pawned for funds to keep the lights on at the studio.
I wanted to tell them there would be money soon, but Sam and I still had another day of traveling before we could arrive in San Francisco and go to the bank. I didn’t want to get their hopes up for nothing, so I waited. Perhaps I could tell them when I came back tomorrow.
Taking a deep breath, I wiped away my tears and stepped onto the set.
In the previous scene, Jo had been asleep in the attic when Laurie returned from Europe.
He’d woken her up, and their reunion had been happy but tearful.
Laurie had married Jo’s younger sister Amy, and it was the first time Jo would see them since the wedding.
We’d filmed all the other scenes that would come after this one.
Jo’s love interest from her time in New York City, Professor Baehr, would arrive with Jo’s book, which he had published for her, and he would tell her that he hoped they could make a life together.
The movie would end when she agreed to be his wife.
Now, as I stepped into the foyer where I would observe the family for a moment and whisper a quick word to Beth’s memory, I paused.
In many ways, I felt like Jo March. Stuck between the past and the future, sad about all that had been lost, and hesitant about what might come.
If I chose to stay in 1849, this would be the last movie—the last scene—I would ever be in.
More tears gathered in my eyes as I bit my lower lip, trying not to be overcome with emotion.
Spencer looked up at me as he sat next to Lydia, and I saw a question in his gaze.
Things had been awkward and uncomfortable between us this past week, but it only felt natural as we filmed the last few scenes of the movie together.
Things had been awkward and uncomfortable between Jo and Laurie, as well, but they had found a way to overcome their hurt feelings and move forward.
I wasn’t sure the same would be true for me and Spencer.
After today, I didn’t know if I would see him again outside of the premiere of the film.
And only if Papa could get it ready before my birthday on November 3rd.
“And action!” Papa said into a megaphone as a camera zoomed in on me, standing in the entryway.
His words caught me off guard. I wasn’t ready, but I had little choice.
I’d been around cameras my whole life. They’d captured hours and hours of my image and now my voice.
But as the tears fell from emotions that had nothing to do with acting, the camera felt intrusive, and I had a sudden yearning to return to the Yuba River, where Sam and I had camped last week.
To be free to cry without an audience and have space to breathe without someone demanding something from me.
But I was an actress, and if I didn’t do my best work, we would have to run this scene again, and it would cost Papa more money.
Spencer returned his attention to Lydia, and I pulled myself together.
“Oh, Bethy,” I said, watching the family for a moment before glancing at the ceiling, my heart heavy. “It’s fun now that we’re all together again, isn’t it?” I kissed my hand, then offered it up to her before putting it over my heart.
The group was chatting in the next room, and I smiled at them. Then I entered, walking over to Vicky and the baby.
“Cut!” Papa said, his voice loud and clear. “That’s a wrap!”
There was a cheer from the crew and actors as everyone gathered in the parlor, congratulating each other for a job well done.
Papa was beaming, and Mama was crying. Grace looked relieved that it was over and she and the girls could soon return home. It had been decided that Lydia would go with them, though she wasn’t happy about the decision. They would wait until after the premiere to leave.
Vicky handed the baby off to its real mother, though I saw the longing in her eyes before she turned to the actor playing Mr. Brooke and thanked him for his hard work.
Spencer’s gaze caught mine across the loud, crowded space. People came up and hugged me, telling me what a good job I had done, but all I could focus on was Spencer. There were still so many things unsaid between us, and I could tell he thought the same.
We moved across the room until we faced each other, and though I had hugged all the others, I didn’t reach for him. Things were different. Strained.
“Congratulations, Ally,” he said. “You did a marvelous job.”
“So did you.” I took a deep breath. “Thank you for being dedicated to this role. It means so much to—to my family.”
He nodded, sadness in his gaze.
“I suppose this means we won’t be seeing you again,” I added, “until the premiere.”
“Of course. It’s just—” He paused and shook his head. Things had been going well in the magazines for Spencer. There was little talk about his scandal anymore, and, like most Hollywood stories, it would soon be forgotten completely.
“What?”
“It’s just that my mother and Aunt Sherry arrived here last night. They were hoping to meet you today or tomorrow. I hate to disappoint them. Do you think you could meet them for supper at their hotel? It’s the last request I’ll make. I promise.”
I wasn’t sure it was wise, but how could I say no to his mother and aunt, especially after I had agreed to meet with them already?
“Of course.”
He smiled. “Thank you. I’ll call them now and arrange it. Do you think you can be ready in about an hour?”
“Yes.”
“Great.”
I watched him jog off the set, hoping and praying I wouldn’t regret going with him.
I had to remind myself that his mother wasn’t a gangster—at least, I hoped she wasn’t—and she was just as innocent in all of this as me.
She deserved a little happiness once in a while, because her son had given her a fair share of heartache, I was certain.
“You’re going to continue seeing Spencer?” Vicky asked as she approached.
“He asked me to meet his mother and aunt.”
“Is this all part of the ruse?”
I was thankful that everyone was distracted in conversations and not paying attention to us. “His mother has been reading the magazines, and she thinks it’s all true. I agreed to meet with her as a favor to Spencer.”
“For what purpose? To break her heart further when you two call it quits?”
“I’m just agreeing to meet with her. Nothing more. Whatever happens later is something Spencer will need to deal with.” I put my hands on her upper arms, needing her to understand the truth about him. “Once the movie premieres, we all need to put Spencer Hayes out of our lives.”
She frowned but didn’t pull away.
“He’s not who we think he is,” I whispered. “I’m afraid he’s mixed up with the wrong people. Dangerous people. I’m only agreeing to meet his mother as a favor. Please believe me, Vicky. We both need to let him go.”
She studied me for a heartbeat, confusion and suspicion in her eyes, and then tore herself from my hands and walked off the set.
I didn’t know how I would convince her, but I had to.
Spencer and I were quiet an hour later as we rode in his Rolls-Royce toward the Beverly Wilshire Hotel.
Darkness had fallen over Hollywood, and the lights on Sunset Boulevard highlighted the palm trees lining the street.
I had put on an evening gown, nothing too formal, but something a little special to mark the occasion.
I wasn’t sure what to expect from this meeting, but I wanted to at least pretend to make an effort for his mother’s sake.
It was strange that we were done filming and would go from working almost nonstop to having hours of free time on our hands.
It would give me a lot of time to contemplate what I wanted to do on my birthday, because I could no longer ignore the impending decision.
What complicated it was knowing that Sam was supposed to die in a fire the day after my final decision, which meant that I really didn’t have much choice.
If I wanted to ensure that he lived, I had to tell him—before my birthday, because I would have to forfeit my life in 1849 and stay in 1929.
Why didn’t that idea fill me with peace?
“I’m sorry things have been so strange between us,” Spencer said, breaking the silence. “I never intended for you to learn anything about my other work.”
I didn’t say anything for a few moments, and then I finally sighed. “Why don’t you quit?”
“It’s not that easy. There would be serious consequences.”