Chapter Eighteen Audrey
Chapter Eighteen
Audrey
Bags packed, everything and everyone ready to go except me. Because my little man was wrapped up in my arms as we sat on my bed, his face buried in the side of my neck as he squeezed me tight.
“I don’t care about ice fishing or making new friends.
Not even missing school. I just want to be with you.
Why can’t I stay with you?” Chase’s scratchy, raw voice and the tears hitting my skin intensified the pressure already building behind my rib cage.
“Mommy, please. Stay with us. We need you with us.”
More pressure.
An unbearable ache.
It felt like something was pushing between my ribs and would pierce my flesh if I didn’t wrangle a deep breath soon.
“You’re going to have the bestest, bestest time,” I whispered, doubling down on his favorite word.
Thank goodness his favorite “bestest” hockey player in the world hadn’t been the grandfather who’d rejected him. Why was I thinking about that now?
Oh, I know . . . because I’m about to walk away from my son, and what if I never come back? What if I die and leave him without a—
“Your mom can’t breathe, buddy.” Trevor sat on the bed next to me, the mattress sinking under his two hundred pounds of solid muscle.
I shifted around to rest my chin on top of Chase’s head so I could see Trevor. “I can’t do this,” I mouthed, hoping he could read my lips.
Trevor set his hand on Chase’s back and gently stroked it. “I want you with us, too.”
He knew why that wasn’t possible. My very presence painted a target on the back Trevor had his hand on.
“I know what happened today.” Chase shifted upright, forcing me to ease my head back so I wouldn’t knock noses with him. “Daddy sneaks and lets me play Fortnite when I spend the night here, and so I know it was bad people out there today that wanted you.”
Trevor cleared his throat. “Sorry, I know we didn’t discuss him, uh, playing that kind of game yet . . .”
“Not what I’m worried about right now.” My voice sounded as raw and drained as I felt on the inside. “I’m going to be fine, I swear to God. I just need to help your uncle with something while you get to play hooky and miss school.”
“Daddy says I’m not supposed to swear to God, so why are you?”
I closed my eyes. He had me there. Inhale. Exhale. That was the right rhythm, right? So where was that deep breath I desperately needed?
“Your mommy is right. I want her with us, but she can’t be.
” Trevor’s solemn tone had my eyes opening in gratitude for the save.
“And everything will be okay.” He stood and walked around to help untangle Chase from his locked-in position and pulled him to his side to hold him like he was four, not nine.
Only he could do that, with his towering height and frame, after Chase’s recent growth spurt last summer.
I patted my cheeks with the backs of my hands to try to discard the evidence of my emotions and slowly stood, hoping my legs wouldn’t give out. My gaze slanted over to the frosted window. “The snow’s picking up.”
“The snow will work to our advantage, cloaking us,” he answered in a hoarse voice. His eyes were on his forearm, on the angel tattooed there that Chase was tracing with his index finger. “Consider the snow a gift from the Big Guy. He’s going to protect us. Shield us from harm. Right, buddy?”
Well, shoot, now I was going to ugly-cry.
“Protect us from the bad people?” Chase’s voice was so small that time, so full of innocence. “Like you do?”
“I can’t do anything without God, but yeah.” Trevor met my eyes next. “I won’t let anything happen to you. And Ryder won’t let anything happen to your mom.”
I went over to the disposable iPhone Ryder had given me and opened it to the app he’d programmed in there. “I’ll always be able to see where you are, and you’ll be able to track me. The blinking dots represent us.”
Chase took hold of it with his free hand, keeping the other curved around the back of his dad’s neck. “The dots are together right now. Why can’t they stay that way?”
My hand went to my heart on autopilot at the squeeze of pressure there. Breathe, dang it.
“Those blinking dots will be back together soon enough.” Trevor let Chase slide down his side until the little black combat boots he’d laced up for him a few minutes ago hit the floor.
Like father, like son. They were dressed alike.
In camo, for the snowmobile ride they’d soon be taking while I served as the decoy to hide their escape in the other direction.
“Eden?” Trevor called out, tipping his head toward the hallway.
She appeared a moment later, so I had to assume he’d asked her to wait for us out there.
“Can you take Chase to Ryder for me?” he asked her. “We’ll be right out.”
“It’s okay,” I promised, and he hesitantly let go and went with his aunt while clutching the phone like a lifeline.
Once we were alone, Trevor tore both hands through his hair, eyes shooting to the ceiling. “This has to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. And this is coming from someone held captive by the Taliban for six weeks.”
A story he’d never been able to fully tell me about. One he’d kept locked up deep, deep inside that had eventually destroyed our marriage.
“I know Chase is in good hands. You won’t let anything happen to him. That’s the only way I can do this.” My hand raced across my lips, both my mouth and fingers trembling.
He pulled me into his big arms like a blanket of comfort, and like Chase had done to me, I nestled my face at the side of his neck and held on for dear life.
“Love you, Trev. Like family, you know? And I just . . . I need to hear you say this will all work out. Because if you say it, I’ll really believe it. ”
“Love you, too.” Emotion squeezed around his words, and they came out raspy.
“As family, of course,” he emphasized, the way I had.
“And you have to have faith. Believe. And then it will be.” He added in a gruff voice, “And I trust your brother and his friends. They’re good people. All of them. Even, uh, Alex.”
There was something in the way he’d said Alex’s name that gave me pause. Like he was telling me to trust Alex with more than my safety, and I wasn’t sure what to make of that or why he felt compelled to tell me, but I didn’t have time to psychoanalyze it because—
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
I shifted away from Trevor to see Alex hanging in the doorway.
“We’re ready to move out,” he let us know. “The storm is giving us enough cover to go now instead of waiting for nightfall.”
A true blessing that would literally disguise us.
Alex leaned his shoulder against the interior doorframe, keeping his arms at his sides, his gaze drifting between Trevor and me.
“Let’s do this, then.” Trevor glanced at me. “Meet you downstairs.” He picked up my bag that he’d packed for me on Friday night, not knowing Alex also had one waiting downstairs. “I’ll give you two a minute.”
“That’s not necessary,” Alex said, brows drawing together.
Trevor patted his shoulder, and Alex moved out of his way. “Take that minute anyway.”
When it was just the two of us, Alex went back to being a fixture of steel in the doorway.
“How’s the wound? You take antibiotics yet?”
“Yes, ma’am, I did. And the wound is fine.”
“Tell me that during all your escape planning, you managed to get fluids, too. At least that juice box.” I crossed my arms, trying to chase away the chills that wouldn’t relent.
This man always gave me butterflies despite the situation. Not the bad, anxious ones, though. More like the excited and eager fluttery ones.
“I did. Drank two, in fact.” He gave me a hard, practiced nod, the kind I’d seen Trevor give his commanding officers in the past. “I’ll be fine.”
Satisfied by his response, I let my gaze wander down his body, taking in the fact he’d changed. Upgraded his civilian clothes to military-ish-looking ones. Since I knew I’d be sporting a bulletproof vest soon, I had a feeling he had a chest plate beneath his vest that was also packed with ammo.
I couldn’t believe my son would soon be sporting armor while riding a snowmobile to escape.
Never in a million years would I have expected that when I let Mitch into my life, I’d wind up on the run because of him. That was the thing about life, though. You go left, not knowing you were meant to go right.
“Will you run the plan by me one more time?” I hated that my teeth were chattering again.
Alex straightened and stepped into the room to join me, a touch of hesitancy still lingering in the lines of his body.
“Trevor’s emergency escape route wasn’t compromised during the ambush. Thermal imaging and surveillance verify it’s still secure.”
“And still zero evidence anyone has gone near the snowmobile he has hidden, or the Jeep two miles away that’s camouflaged, either?”
“Right.” He nodded. “And we’ve got my rental, Ryder’s truck, and your SUV parked in the three-car garage now.
We’ll exfil using all three. Once we roll out and get far enough away to be the decoy, then Trevor will move out with Chase.
Once they’re in that unregistered Jeep, he’ll head to the next location, where we’ve planned for him to swap vehicles and make his way to Michael Maddox’s cabin. ”
“And Michael is there now with his family for a ski trip, and he really doesn’t mind Trevor and Chase crashing their vacation knowing what’s going on?” I brought my hand to my stomach. Bye-bye, good flutters. Hello, pain and nerves.
“He’s an excellent operator in his own right. You know, even for a marine.” He gave me a lopsided smile. “And his security will be off the charts. He told the secretary he’s happy to help, and Chase can play with his kids.”
He closed the space between us and lifted his hand like he wanted to touch my shoulder and offer his support, but then he let his arm go back to his side.
“I needed to hear that one more time.” At least no one had tried to lay siege to the property again.
“And Eden’s being escorted by Beau to the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office.
She’ll be protected by them at the precinct while we’re gone.
” I couldn’t handle anything happening to her, either.
“Better for her to be with Beau, though, or us?”
“It’s what she wanted.” He lifted one shoulder as if not totally sold on Beau’s protection abilities, which didn’t sit well with me. “They want you, not anyone else.”
“And if they try to use her to get to me?”
“What makes you think that just because Trevor’s letting Eden make her own choices he’s not still calling in extra reinforcements to keep her safe?”
Good point. Trevor was uber protective of those he loved.
Case in point, what he’d done to keep us safe this last year because of a hunch about Mitch—a hunch that had turned out to be right.
Well, maybe right. If Mitch had been en route to a government safe house, had he been helping them?
Not a traitor? Ugh, who knows. It didn’t matter right now.
I still didn’t even know if he was really alive.
“And no one aside from Trevor knows our plans and where we’re going, or where Chase will be staying. Not even Eden.”
Safer for everyone all around. I was on board with that.
“If anyone tries to come for us on the way to the airport, we’ll lose them. And at the airport, we’ll swap vehicles. Ryder has friends picking up Seraphina. They’ll keep her safe, and then the four of us will go to Boulder and hopefully get answers from the secretary.”
“And Wyatt and his wife will have eyes on us the whole way, yes?”
“Big Brother—or in this case, Gray Chandler’s sister—is watching us.” He smiled, attempting to pull off that casual, it’s-all-good attitude I was lacking.
I knew he was just trying to make me feel better. Probably also hoped I’d forget he’d been cut right in the spot his ex-wife had shot him last year. Talk about a shocking admission we’d need to unpack at some point.
“You okay?” He tipped his head, eyes narrowing on me.
“I’m not remotely okay, but thank you for this plan. For everything. And for finding a way to Houdini my son to safety.”
“None of that is thanks to me.” He shook his head. “Your husband had it all covered. You didn’t even need me.”
Ouch. On so many levels. “Not my husband. And I do need you.”
He frowned. “Sorry, you know what I meant.”
Not sure I did—and why did I feel like there was some unspoken message sitting here between us that I wasn’t quite picking up on?
He nodded, keeping quiet, but I could still feel the weight of everything he didn’t say. “Ready to go?”
Not at all. “I’m not ready to leave my son.”
“I don’t think any parent is ever ready to do that,” he said in a somber voice. “It’s never easy to walk away from those you love.”