Chapter Twenty-Four Alejandro
Chapter Twenty-Four
Alejandro
I remained outside her door with my fists clenched, resting against the frame. I did my best to channel every ounce of self-control I had, to not go back into her room and slip my tongue inside that sweet mouth of hers this time and let her kiss destroy me.
Lock the door. Keep me from coming in.
I gritted down on my back teeth.
Fighting the urge. Fighting my basest instincts to take her in my arms.
I dropped my gaze to the slight rattle of the handle. She’d locked me out. Good. That’s what I want.
I shoved away from the door and went for my phone to check Ryder and Reed’s status. They were still outside checking the property, their signals blinking at a comfortable distance. Comfortable enough to give me time to do something dumb. To not walk away.
Don’t do it. Turn around.
I shoved the phone in my pocket and did the damn opposite.
Two quick knocks as my heart tried to break free from its prison, a place it was supposed to remain. Never freed. Never let loose to feel anything ever again.
But Audrey had to go and open that door. She had to look at me with those beautiful eyes of hers while whispering, “Checking to make sure I was good and locked in?”
She had to go and be perfect. Sweet and kind. So incredibly kind.
Dammit, she had to go and be everything I never knew I wanted.
And when she Alejandro’d me again as I quietly stared at her like the human version of a wrecking ball trying to withhold the swing, I snapped. Momentum and gravity were forces that just couldn’t be stopped, after all.
I lunged forward.
Crossed the line.
Reached for her face and anchored my palms on her cheeks, dropping my mouth near hers and waited. I waited for her to give me permission. To cross the line with me. To let me know I wasn’t alone in this.
And when she parted her lips and pressed up on her toes in invitation, I took it. Fuck, did I ever.
My mouth crashed over hers. Tongue slipped between her lips while backing her against the wall.
She arched into me, grinding. Searching. Chasing something. Like how hard I was.
There was nothing hesitant or cautious about this moment. It was as intense as my heart was beating. And as dangerous as I knew it would be, and then some.
Soft, decadent moans left her full lips as she let her hands wander over my body.
I relished every touch.
Every bite of her fingernails into my flesh.
She rotated against me, stealing her lips from mine to drop her mouth to my neck and kiss me there.
I died.
For real this time.
The way she kissed me, clinging to my body for dear life as I nuzzled my face against the side of her neck.
When her eyes returned to mine, a soulful look in hers before she urged me down to capture her mouth again, I knew I was done. It was game over.
I felt it in my bones, in the very fabric of my entire being, that I belonged to her. It didn’t have to make sense; it was true.
In this moment, at least. In this room and in the mountains of Colorado, I was hers. For now. She owned me. All of me.
I was ready to deliver my soul on a platinum platter for her. Let her etch her name into my heart, too.
This was different.
This was . . . This is how it’s supposed to be, isn’t it?
And that terrified me.
I had to stop before I did something crazy, like make love to her. Fill her. Hell, if she asked me to, I’d offer her something I never thought I’d give anyone because of Beth: a child.
You have a son. With Trevor. That reminder slammed into me. Had me feeling like I was cheating with another man’s wife even if that made no damn sense.
I backed away. Let go of her. Searched for my sanity and my sense of control.
She was breathing hard. A hand over her heart and another between her legs, as if I’d left her in pain there. In both places.
“Audrey.” Her name was a snarl from my lips.
A demand to stop me. To tell me to walk away.
To tell me to not fall to my knees and take her pants down along with me.
I’d taste her, get her off; then I’d pick out one of the pairs of lace panties I’d packed for her and guide her legs into them, only to slide them out of the way to lick her senseless again.
“What was that?” She covered her mouth now, resetting my attention there.
It was me falling. Off the cliff. Into something more. Into the deep.
I held my hands up in surrender. In request to not let me do all the things the caged beast inside me craved to do.
“I have to go,” I said in a hoarse voice, feeling the pull of my flesh and desires draw me closer to her, my arms falling to my sides. Barrier removed now. Time to extract myself from this room. “Lock the door. Don’t open it.”
“Not even for you?”
On my way out, I glanced back at her. “Especially for me,” I hissed before leaving, shutting the door behind me.
Not trusting myself to stick around any longer and wait to ensure she locked up, I took off down the hall.
I descended two steps at a time, finding Reed coming back inside once downstairs.
“Yup,” he said while removing the M4 slung across his chest and setting it aside. “You definitely kissed her.”
I stopped in my tracks. What gave me away? The raging hard-on I was still sporting? My eyes, which were probably dark and soulless right now?
“Don’t follow me,” I warned, blowing past him while muttering a few choice words in Spanish on my way to my bedroom.
Naturally, Reed didn’t heed my order.
“You not hear me?” I snapped, turning halfway around.
“Loud and clear.” He was completely unfazed as he kept up behind me. “Ryder’s not inside yet, and I don’t owe Hollis an update for another ten minutes. That gives us time.” A flicker of a smile cut across his face.
I ignored him, continuing on my mission to get to my bedroom. He remained right on my ass, dammit.
It wasn’t lost on me that Ryder had placed me downstairs and away from his sister, and he was just fine with Reed being upstairs.
Smart man. I’d nearly had sex with his sister. Unprotected, too. Never thought to pack that kind of protection. And maybe I was being a cocky asshole to believe she wanted to have sex tonight, but the way she was rubbing against me, my dick still painfully hard as a result, told me it’d be a yes.
“We need to talk.”
I flicked on the light in my room just in time so I wouldn’t trip over my bag. “There are two things you suck at,” I bit out, turning my frustration on him when he didn’t deserve it. “Humor and feelings.”
“Agreed—but here I am, outside my comfort zone, and I’m trying anyway.” He leaned inside the doorway with his arms folded, signaling that he had no plans to leave.
Damn you. I dropped onto the bed, leaning forward. Elbows to my legs, I slowly lifted my head, unsure if I should let him look me in the eye or not, worried he’d see that I’d left my soul upstairs, since eyes were supposed to be the windows to it and all that . . . or however the expression went.
“I can tell you’re pissed. Or, well, confused. You look like you just found out your whole deck of cards is rigged.”
“See. Right there. Humor and talking aren’t your strengths, man.”
He stepped inside, deciding to double down, not back down. “Just because you learned a thing or two from your father, living in his shadow most of your life, doesn’t mean you’re him.”
My dad? Was he really trying to psychoanalyze me right now? I didn’t have any childhood trauma. No shitty memories growing up. My parents had left the country they’d loved to escape communism so my dad could pursue his dreams here, and they’d given me an incredible life.
“Your dad’s a good guy, don’t get me wrong,” he added as if reading my confusion as to where he was going with this.
“Million times better than my old man. But I know somewhere in that head of yours growing up behind that curtain onstage with him had you thinking that everyone and everything eventually disappears at some point, and that has to be—”
“Don’t do this.” I dropped my head into my hands.
Because dammit, he was right. A little bit, at least.
“You joined the military because you needed something real, right? Something solid and not built on illusions?”
His words jolted my head upright again. How the hell do you know that?
“I get that. I really do. And I can tell you’re feeling something real now, and with her. It’s impossible not to see the way you two look at each other. From the second you shook her hand at Christmas, your eyes lit the fuck up, man. And it’s been scaring the hell out of you ever since.”
“Please.” I lifted my hand. “We’re working a mission. That’s what we need to focus on.” That was rich, coming from me after I’d made out with my team leader’s sister. “I should be the least of your concerns.”
“Don’t bullshit a bullshitter,” he grumbled. “You may always put the mission before your own life, but there’s one thing you still put above everything else, and that’s the people you care about. So don’t you sit there and tell me I’m not allowed to give a damn about you right back.”
This was a side of Reed I rarely saw. I wasn’t sure how to handle Mr. Doom and Gloom being all . . . well, whatever this was.
“Let’s just regroup in the morning and act like this heart-to-heart never happened, ’k?” I stood and lifted my shirt, checking the bandage there. A memory of Audrey’s hands on my skin as we kissed dropped a veil over my sight, and all I could see was her and nothing else.
“Fine, whatever you want. It’s your life.”
Shit. I was being such a dick. “Reed?”
He paused in the doorway.
“For what it’s worth,” I said in a low voice, “thanks.” I flicked my wrist, lightening my tone. “Now, go text Hollis so Audrey’s best friend doesn’t worry.”
“That woman, I can’t deal with her for much longer.
Drives me nuts.” He rolled his eyes. “Something tells me she would, and even could, find us. I better look into her background tonight, make sure she checks out.” He shook his head, and silence continued to stretch between us before he muttered, “Just do me one favor, okay?”
No, dammit, I’d rather talk about why Audrey’s friend is annoying you. Not that it was hard to annoy that man. I did it just by breathing. “What?”
“Just remember that you don’t have to be the magician anymore. You never wanted to be anyway, right?” He nodded. “Be who you really are.”
I let go of my shirt, eyes shooting to the floor after he left. And who’s that? Because at this point . . . I was starting to think maybe I had no damn clue myself.