Chapter Thirty-Three Audrey
Chapter Thirty-Three
Audrey
“Don’t you dare blame yourself for Mitch’s choices,” Ryder shot back while sitting next to me. “He’s clearly a skilled manipulator. How could you possibly know the kind of man you were marrying?”
“He was fourteen years older, charming, and I guess he tricked me into . . .” I backed down as soon as I realized where I was going with my words. I was about to slam headfirst into Ryder being right.
Not my fault. Only Mitch’s. That didn’t make the truth hurt any less.
The side of Ryder’s mouth lifted in regret. “Everything’s going to be okay,” he promised. “But why don’t we table the whole you-going-to-New-Zealand conversation for later, yeah? We need more answers first.”
“I suppose you’re right,” I agreed.
“Of course I am.” Ryder’s teasing tone and quick smile were somehow exactly what I needed right now.
“We should also get Trevor on the line, don’t you think?” There went Reed, poking a hole through the calm I’d managed to grab hold of with that. “See if he knows Hobbs?”
I locked both arms around the pillow. “Charlie Team.” Trevor gave up a dream assignment because of me. Guilt and blame triumphed again.
“Go make the call,” Ryder ordered, and Reed shot me an apologetic look before taking off.
“You okay?” Natasha asked, drawing my eyes to the screen. “Anything we can do to help?”
“You’re doing quite a lot already.” I shook my head. “But thank you.”
“You play piano, yeah?” Natasha’s out-of-the-blue question had me sitting up taller.
Freeing my hold on the pillow a smidge. “I remember Trevor telling me how talented you are.” She gestured toward the hall.
“Maybe playing would be a good distraction? Someone on Wyatt’s rich side of the family gave us a piano for a wedding gift. It’s never been touched.”
“Yeah, well, it’s been touched now.” Such a brother thing to grumble into a closed fist, and I couldn’t help but let go of the pillow to send a solid elbow into his side.
“Ah, you already played?” Natasha smirked.
Something like that.
Ryder twisted around on the couch to face me. “Wait, you play piano?”
Yeah, I do more than make out with your best friend up against them. I had to be blushing. At least I wasn’t spiraling. Natasha had helped after all. Kind of, sort of.
“Reed and I heard music a few times since we’ve been here, but I thought it was a radio you were playing because it was so good,” my brother continued. “That was you, wasn’t it?”
“Guilty.” Among other things. “I played a long time ago.” All I have left are memories and a drawer full of regrets and lace underwear.
“I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” Ryder looked genuinely hurt that I’d failed to mention this. Now the music notes on my sweatshirt were probably clicking into place for him.
“We’ve been busy dodging bullets and discussing how our exes are enemies of the state.” My attempt at humor didn’t land and probably came across as sarcastic. “No time to share.”
He called me out, not letting it go. “Why didn’t it come up in the last two months?”
I looked over at Alejandro as if he could somehow save me from these questions. He had his arms folded, back to the wall, eyes on the floor.
“I’m surprised you didn’t run a background check on me when we met,” I said under my breath, turning to Ryder again.
Ryder rolled his eyes.
Okay, I deserved that.
“I went to school for music,” I relented. “Performing is how I met Trevor. I was young. We didn’t plan to get pregnant so fast, but it happened.”
“I’m going to check on Reed.” Alejandro left the room before we could make eye contact, probably sensing this was a brother-sister moment even though I wanted him here.
Natasha’s screen went dark without so much as a goodbye.
“Guess it’s just the two of us now.”
Ryder reached for my hand and set his on top of it. “Tell me.” His eyes narrowed. “Tell me everything you can handle sharing.”
“Now?” I lifted my brows, unsure. “With everything going on?”
He took the pillow from me and set it aside. “Please.”
Walk down memory lane. Could I do that and keep it together? We’d soon find out.
I gathered my thoughts, then ripped open that box containing my past as quickly as possible.
“I was part of an orchestra and performing at a military ball in DC. He swept me off my feet; then everything went fast between us because he had to spin up. We got to know each other while he was half a world away. When he came back three months later, he proposed. Next thing I knew, we were married and I was pregnant, so I stopped performing.”
I paused for a beat to breathe. Then continued. Telling him everything. From becoming close friends with Hollis during that time to how she’d helped keep me from falling apart when Trevor was held captive by the Taliban.
When I was done sharing, he asked the one thing I’d left out: “Why did you two get divorced?”
He probably thought I was horrible, thinking I’d left Trevor after the man survived being a prisoner of war. “He left me, not the other way around.”
“Oh.” His eyes shot to his hand on top of mine.
“I’d considered it a miracle Trevor made it home . . . only to lose him again, but in a different way,” I whispered.
“I don’t know the details of that op, only that it went sideways and he was taken.”
I didn’t know much myself, to be honest. Part of the problem, in a way. Trevor hadn’t been able to talk to me.
“Him and his teammate were both taken. It was an ambush. Trevor was rescued, but only after he had to watch his friend lose his life.”
Ryder dropped the f-bomb, dragging it out as he hauled me closer for a sideways hug.
“He blamed himself for his friend dying and for him surviving, and it broke him,” I went on after steadying my heart rate. “He was benched from operating for over six months, which didn’t help. I think he didn’t know who he was if he wasn’t part of a team.”
“That kind of trauma doesn’t fade easily,” he gritted out.
“He pushed me away after that. Wouldn’t let me in. Then one day, he asked to separate. Next thing I knew, we were getting a divorce. I tried to fight for us, to save our marriage, but he wouldn’t let me.”
“He had to be able to save himself first. And based on what I know about him now, he got better and eventually went back to operating.”
I lifted my head to look over at him. “We talked about getting back together after that, but we decided it was best if we just stayed friends. Eventually, I met Mitch and only agreed to be his friend at first, but he wore me down.”
Thinking back now, he’d probably manipulated me, but I’d never seen the big picture of what he’d been doing to me then.
“I actually met Mitch the same night I did Trevor at the first ball. Both men tried to win me over. Clearly Trevor won out.”
“Damn.”
Yeah, I could think of a few more curses than that, and I wasn’t much of a swearer.
“That wasn’t our only bump-in, either. There was another ball Mitch was at, and he approached me while I was pregnant.
Then . . . well, when I was single, my mom was babysitting one night so I could go out for drinks with friends, and I ran into Mitch at the bar.
He claimed it was fate. He said, ‘Third time’s the charm. ’”
“That line worked?”
I choked out a half cry, half laugh. “Not at first. I resisted. Wasn’t ready to date.
But he got to me eventually.” I shrugged.
“He was older, charming, a little cocky, and had that whole Maverick from Top Gun energy. But taller and younger than Tom Cruise, of course. He went so far as to take me out on his motorcycle for a ‘friend’ date. Gave me his jacket, aviators, with the wind in my hair.” I blew out my cheeks.
“He was persistent. Never gave up until I said yes to dating and yes to marriage.”
Ryder let go of me and stood, dragging both hands through his hair.
“After we were married, he didn’t want me working, but at that time he’d convinced me he was being sweet, not controlling.
And he’d promised I’d play again one day.
” I shut my eyes, trying to wrap my head around how I’d fallen for it.
“Was any of it ever real, do you think? Or was he always wearing a mask?”
“Maybe?” A question and an answer all in one. “About the guy you have feelings for now, though . . .”
That pivot had me on my feet now, too, but before he could continue, Reed walked in and shared, “You’re not going to believe this. Trevor said he met Hobbs once. It was at the military ball in 2017, when Audrey was pregnant.”
And there went my stomach. Free-falling.
“And guess who introduced him to Hobbs?” Reed continued.
“Mitch?” I asked, remembering he’d been there that night, too.
“No,” Alejandro said, joining us now, too. “Beth went with Hobbs while I was deployed. He was her plus-one since I was in Afghanistan.”
No, no, no.
Ryder held up his hand as if he could physically push away the facts. “You’re saying Beth, Mitch, and Will were all at the same military ball in 2017? And you and Trevor were also there.”
Alejandro’s eyes narrowed, gaze focused on my brother. “This means I have to talk to her, doesn’t it? I have to talk to Beth.”