Chapter Forty-Six Alejandro
Chapter Forty-Six
Alejandro
I tugged at the brim of my cap, using it to try to shield my eyes as I reemerged from the room I’d be bunking in and made my way to where everyone was gathered. Well, everyone except Audrey and Trevor, of course.
Hollis had come back without them after she went to share the news, since I’d walked my ass out of there upon accidentally witnessing what sure as hell looked like a reconciliation between Audrey and Trevor.
Hands on his cheeks. His head tilted forward as she leaned up. They’d been about to kiss.
I’d bailed, feeling like someone had cut my heart out. Since dead men kept walking these days, it made perfect sense that I’d still be functioning without that organ.
Audrey was allowed to change her mind. Just because we had a connection didn’t mean there couldn’t be another one between her and Trevor.
I’d only known her for two months, and she’d known Trevor for over ten years. What’d I expect?
I needed to find a way to be happy for them because that was the right thing to do.
But tonight, seeing them together, had me feeling like I’d fallen into the deep end of the ocean, in shark-infested waters, having forgotten how to swim.
Consider me down.
At the motherfucking bottom.
Never getting back up again.
Hopefully, one day, I’d actually be able to say, Congratulations, glad your family is back together, and mean it. I needed to mean it, dammit.
Right now, though, I was choosing the asshole route. Being a grade-A certified selfish piece of shit for wishing she’d chosen me. Wishing we were meant to be, since I’d never felt this way about anyone before.
I shoved my dark thoughts aside when Ryder joined me. “You okay?”
It took him coming over for me to realize I’d only taken one step out of my bedroom before I’d landed in overthinking, quicksand purgatory. I must’ve looked like I was off my rocker. No wonder he was doing a quick mental health check on me.
I had lost it. Loco, all right.
I’d fallen for an off-limits woman after promising myself never to fall again. Period.
“I’m great.” I swallowed. “But Reed? Not so much. The man was hoping their team dog would be joining us. He’s depressed.”
Ryder squared up next to me, letting me know he wasn’t going anywhere. The man always had my back, even when I didn’t want it.
But when Audrey came out of the bedroom with Trevor, the mere sight of the two of them together had me walking back one step, preferring to be anywhere but here. Even visiting Beth in prison sounded like a better idea.
“You need air?” Ryder asked from the side of his mouth.
“I could use it, yeah,” I muttered.
“Go. Do a perimeter sweep. Keep out of view of the cameras. We don’t want anyone knowing we’re here. Mitch’s hacker might be monitoring all the hotels in the area for him.”
“Roger that.” I pulled at the brim of my hat as I started for the door, no need to say goodbye to anyone before they left. I’d already said my hellos and offered my thanks for their help. I wouldn’t survive opening my mouth again with Audrey’s eyes on me.
“Alejandro?” Audrey called out, and the name I’d told her to use now stung to hear. “Where are you going?”
I opened the door, and Ryder saved me from having to lie, telling her, “He’s doing a property check for me.”
I didn’t turn back. Didn’t acknowledge her. I couldn’t. I had to find a way to focus on the mission, one that included having her share my last name come Friday. God help me.
In the hallway, I made sure to avoid the wide lens of the ceiling camera above the elevator. While Hollis’s brother, a cyber magician, had apparently placed the cameras on a loop out here to protect us, my paranoia still lingered like smoke in my chest.
I spent forty-five minutes Houdini’ing my way through the place like a seasoned professional, both inside and outside, before finding myself standing in the jewelry shop on the mezzanine level, which was open for twenty more minutes.
Why I walked into that store? I couldn’t tell you.
And why I stared at the mirror in there, my reflection blinking back at me like I was the ghost, not Mitch? No damn idea.
And when someone offered to help me, why I asked to see their women’s wedding bands even though Hollis had already given one to Audrey? Well, that was easy.
I wanted to buy into the illusion for two more nights. The pretend reality where I was capable of falling for a woman who actually loved me back.
I sent another text to Ryder for a status update about Echo Team and their op, then focused back on the view ahead of me.
It was barely fifty out and I was in short sleeves, but the breeze suited me just fine. Not to mention I wasn’t ready to return to our suite yet.
I’d parked myself by the lake after buying the ring and stayed rooted to the view, the weight of my Glock at my back and the ring box still in my pocket.
Ryder: They’re converging on the location now. A property twenty miles away from the vault in Arrowtown. Why aren’t you back yet?
Me: I’m pretending I’m on vacation.
Ryder: Pretend from the room.
Me: Yeah, yeah, I’m on my way up.
I was about to put my phone away and remind myself I was Delta Two with a mission to complete when Audrey’s name popped up on the screen.
Audrey: Where are you? You okay? Wish you were up here with us.
I couldn’t respond.
I could barely think. Couldn’t move. Couldn’t do a damn thing.
How’d I let this happen?
This feeling inside me . . . God, it sucked. It was ten times worse than being shot by Beth. So much for waiting until after the mission to get to the truth about her feelings, which I’d clearly been wrong about.
Audrey: I miss you. Is that weird to say?
She’d stuck a knife in my chest with that message, then twisted it. That wasn’t like her to hurt people. Was she back to being out of character? Was her concern about Eden or being away from Chase the cause? The jet lag?
Ryder: Echo Team has made contact. Eyes on Eden. She’s alive and safe. Uninjured and with the operative Gwen ID’d.
I stood up at the news and started for the hotel.
Me: Mitch? Rhett? Beau?
Ryder: Negative. Only two heat signatures are inside the property. No one else was in there when they arrived.
Ryder: Rhett and Beau must’ve passed her off when they landed and joined Mitch somewhere else.
Since no one on our team had found Mitch on any CCTV footage after Chandler faked his death, the man was clearly doing a bang-up job of actually appearing to be dead. Keeping away from all cameras and laying low.
Ryder: Hold on, Echo’s reporting a second SUV just rolled up.
Audrey: Eden’s alive and looks okay, thank God.
I stopped walking, unable to handle being a dick and ignoring her.
I sent her a quick reply, letting her know Ryder already told me and that I was glad Eden was safe.
Another message came from Ryder as I started walking again, unsure if we’d be suiting up and joining them on an op to end this tonight.
Ryder: Four heavily armed military-aged males just exited the vehicle. None of our HVTs.
Me: Can they get clear images of them so we can ID who these other bastards are?
Ryder: They tried, but they’re hunkered down far away and lighting is shit. They’re using scopes and thermal imaging, and the men are currently all inside. If any come back out, they’ll try again.
I went into the hotel, careful of the cameras, then took the service stairwell.
Me: What are Echo’s orders?
Ryder: Sit tight for now. Wait and watch. Only move in if they feel Eden’s at risk.
That’s what I’d figured.
Ryder: I’ve requested additional reinforcements. They’ll be cutting it tight, but I don’t think we have a choice.
Ryder: Feels like we’re going up against ourselves here, and I don’t like it.
Me: Even worse. They’re us but with ten to fifteen years more experience under their belts.
Ryder: Don’t remind me. Now get your ass up here already.
I hurried to the eighth floor, returning to our suite. The door swung open before I could use my key. Hollis must’ve had eyes on the hallway and knew I was coming. She let me in and stepped aside.
Audrey was across the room by the windows. She slowly looked up at me. “Hi.” The word sounded so damn small, while also somehow full of emotion.
I remained a statue as she started for me.
All I could think about, all I could remember, was that she’d kissed Trevor in her bedroom. Well, not that I’d witnessed that myself. God didn’t hate me that much to force me to see it, I supposed.
“Are you okay?” She lingered in front of me, fingers drumming at her sides as if fighting the urge to reach for me.
“I need to be alone, I’m sorry.” I moved around her, hating myself for being cold, but I was too upset to talk to her right now. “I’ll be in my room. If something changes, let me know.”
I took off my hat and tossed it on one of the two queen beds. I was about to shut the door when Audrey blocked my ability to do so.
“You can’t just walk away like that and expect me not to worry.” She opened her palms, staring at me with narrowed eyes. “Talk to me. What’s going on? What happened?”
My jaw clenched, body locking tight. I was in an irrational state of mind. Hurt one too many times. “I can’t do this, I’m sorry. I’m mad at you. I have no right to be, but I am.” I looked away from her, unable to handle the sight of her being sad. “Please, just leave.”
“Alejandro.” She tried to come in farther. To challenge my current shit mindset.
I lifted my hands in a request to back up. “I need you to leave.”
Beth had cheated. Shot me. Fucked me over. None of that hurt as much as losing a woman who was never mine to begin with. Not even close. And I didn’t know how to wrap my head around what that meant. It made no damn sense.
“O-okay,” she sputtered, and my heart fractured in half at the fact I was hurting her right back and she didn’t deserve it.
I waited for the door to click shut; then I went over and locked it before removing the ring box from my pocket.
I’d planned to give it to her tomorrow and savor the time we had together, even if it was pretend. But how could I pretend when her heart belonged to someone else?
It felt like cheating, and there was one thing I’d never be, and it was a cheat. I wasn’t like my ex-wife, or anything like Mitch.
But hell . . . I was like Trevor, wasn’t I?
And we were both in love with the same woman.