CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Kol
TWO WEEKS. FOURTEEN DAYS OF BLUE-BALLED HELL. THREE hundred and thirty-six hours of missing her. Twenty thousand, one hundred and sixty minutes of feeling like I was living with a ghost.
I caught glimpses of her: playing in the yard with Skylar, Tink, and Pepper; coming with our big group to trick-or-treat on Halloween. She’d even slipped an invitation under my door for Sky, asking her to a tea party at her apartment and telling Sky to wear her very best princess dress.
Nova was making sure my daughter didn’t feel her absence, even when I was consumed by it.
But the worst? Her scent. I’d catch it on the air sometimes. Sunbaked cherries and vanilla. Sometimes, I was sure it was her. Others, I was certain it was my imagination because she’d been gone for hours.
Nova had done her interview with Roger alone. I’d gotten a call from him, asking me what the hell was up. I’d dodged and weaved.
And then I’d done what I always did: I threw myself into work. Usually, I had a minimum of two cases. One for the Forest Service and another for the Hourglass Network with my brothers. It just so happened that they were currently one and the same, and Nova was at the center of both.
So my escape was also my torment.
Fitting.
I forced my focus back to my damn paperwork instead of the back windows of my house. I could’ve told myself I was simply watching the animals roam in the fields beyond, but I knew that was a lie. I was an addict jonesing for a tiny hit of all that was Nova. Even a hint of that cherry-vanilla scent.
It didn’t come.
At least I could be thankful that there’d been no more incidents since the necklace and note.
But there were also no leads. Livie had sent the same report to Roger and me.
No fingerprints on the news articles, notes, or the necklace.
The paper the notes had been written on was standard computer paper and impossible to track.
The blood had been a match for Heidi Ingram. I’d gone with Roger the day he’d had to tell her family. It wrecked us both.
But there wasn’t a damn thing leading us to who this monster was.
I’d gone with Roger to question Reese Gatlin because the reporter’s arrival had been a little too convenient for me. But we’d gotten nothing. He, on the other hand, had gotten another byline with a long-lens photo of Nova, arms wrapped around herself at the crime scene, looking so damn alone.
Because I’d left her that way.
A knock sounded on the front door, and I felt a twisting sensation in my chest. Like my heart was doing goddamned acrobatics. It didn’t leap, though. It was steady, predictable. Only got out of rhythm when I worried about Skylar or my brothers.
So whatever this was, I wasn’t down with it. I grimaced as I got to my feet and made my way to the front door. Opening it, I couldn’t deny the wave of disappointment I felt as Waylon filled the front porch, his Irish Wolfhound, Lucy, at his side.
He frowned as he took me in. “Somebody steal Christmas?”
My scowl only deepened. “Did you need something?”
“Was coming to ask if you and Sky wanted to come up to the house for boysenberry pie tonight.”
It wasn’t his fault, but those words were a knife to the gut. Images of the picnic on the back deck filled my mind. The pie taste test. The way Nova made every damn thing better.
Waylon’s frown only deepened. “Why do you look like I just offered you arsenic?”
“Skylar’s at a sleepover at Owen’s. I think they’re working on decimating their collection of Halloween candy,” I answered. “I’m just trying to catch up on work.”
His fingers hooked into the straps of his overalls as he rocked back on his heels. “I’m seein’ we have bigger problems than pie.”
“Way—”
He held up a hand to cut me off. “Don’t.” Those dark-brown eyes focused on me in a way that shut me up. Waylon rarely got serious, but I could tell he was about to. “I know you were nearly grown when you came to live here.”
My gut tightened as flashes of memory caught in my mind.
Getting off the plane and then having to make the hour-and-a-half drive to the ranch.
Mav still recovering from his injuries. Dex having a nightmare as he dozed in the van.
Orion shoved into the back corner, not talking to anyone or touching them.
Wylder trying to hide how much it all affected him.
And God, I’d felt like I didn’t have a right to be affected by it. Because I hadn’t been there. Not when they needed me.
“So I may not have a right to say any of this,” Waylon went on.
I flashed back to the here and now. “You have a right to say anything. You’ve been more father to me than anyone. You gave us back a sense of family.”
Waylon’s eyes misted at that. “Best thing you could ever tell me.”
“It’s the simple truth.”
“The truth is rarely simple.” Waylon’s gaze leveled on me again. “But I’m gonna give it to you now anyway. You’re lettin’ your life pass you by.”
I jerked as if those words were bullets.
“You take care of Sky, make sure she has everything she needs, but you don’t take care of you. All you do is work. Throw yourself into it like some sort of atonement. The rare extra time you have is spent with the Hourglass Network. Same thing. There’s no time for you to live.”
“Waylon, I—”
“Give me a minute,” he said, cutting me off. “I see the connection you got with that girl.” His eyes flicked to the apartment above my garage. “I see what you did for her. What you keep doing for her. Don’t miss out on something beautiful because you think you don’t deserve it.”
Fucking hell.
My jaw worked back and forth as I stayed silent, trying to process what he’d just said. “You some Bigfoot-hunting, cuckoo-clock-making, alpaca-wrangling therapist?”
Waylon barked out a laugh. “You know it.” He tapped the little embroidered Bigfoot on his overalls as if to punctuate the point.
“I can’t go there,” I said quietly. “For many reasons.”
He scowled. “Give me the number one.”
“It could get me fired. How about that?” I challenged.
Waylon pinned me with a hard stare. “And you’re telling me you couldn’t have a heart-to-heart with Sherri and step aside? Sure, she might give you a slap on the wrist, but I highly doubt she’d fire you.”
It was my turn to scowl. It was a refrain so similar to Nova’s that it made my gut churn. But there was something else, too. A fear I hadn’t given voice to, not once.
“It’s wrong.” The words were out before I could stop them. I hadn’t realized I even felt that way until the feeling slipped free.
“Why the hell would you think that?”
“I saved her. I kept her alive. It gives it sort of … I dunno, a power imbalance. Maybe she’s just grateful I saved her.”
Waylon stared at me for a long moment. “Boy, did someone hit you with the stupid stick this morning?”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. That girl up there.” He gestured to the apartment with a jabbing motion.
“She may have been through hell, but she’s sharp as a tack.
She’s also working through it. I’ve seen her put just about every one of you in your place when you need it, and yet you think she’d show interest in you just because she thought it was the sort of gratitude she owed? ”
“I don’t know. I just—”
“It’s called flowers or cookies or a homemade pie. That’s a thank-you. Not looking at you like you’re the only thing she’s ever wanted.”
Everything in me tightened, muscle winding tight around bone. “You think she looks at me like that?”
Waylon barked out a laugh, then shook his head. “The stupid stick definitely got you this morning.”
I glared at him. “You’re not helping.”
“I could hit you upside the head and see if that shakes anything loose,” he offered.
I opened my mouth to shoot something back when I saw a pickup heading our way. It wasn’t one of ours, but it only took a matter of seconds for me to recognize it as Aster’s. Maybe she was coming over to have a girls’ night with Nova. Movies and face masks or some sort of thing.
But as the woman who’d been haunting my every waking thought rounded the garage, I knew I was wrong.
Fucking hell.
Nova’s nearly midnight hair cascaded down her back in loose waves.
She wore a navy dress made out of some sort of silky material that skimmed over her delicate curves in a way that had me knocked stupid.
The only part that wasn’t silky was a panel of lace that formed the straps and ghosted over her cleavage.
But it was the boots that nearly sent me over the edge. They were a variety of blue tones that hit at mid-calf, with silver stars stitched into them. All I could think about was Nova in nothing but those damn boots.
Waylon elbowed me hard in the stomach. “You look like you want to break something.”
I did. I wanted to break any man who had the privilege of looking at Nova. Including me.
“Where are you going?” The words came out more harshly than intended, making Nova jump.
She quickly recovered, masking anything she might’ve been feeling. “There’s a band at the Boot. We’re going to dance.”
A million different curses flew through my head. “You can’t.”
I knew it was the wrong thing to say the moment it left my mouth.
Nova arched a brow as one graceful hand came to her hip. “Oh, I can’t?” The move only accentuated everything about what she was wearing and the beauty that was the lines of her body. It was also then that I realized she was wearing the bracelets Skylar had made her.
“It’s not safe,” I choked out.
Nova rolled her eyes. “I’m going with Aster, and we’re using the buddy system. Wylder and Aidan are working. I’m not going to be stupid.”
“I didn’t say you were stupid—”
“Good, then we agree. See you around, Kol.” She sent a soft smile in Waylon’s direction. “Don’t get into too much trouble, Way Way.”
He only chuckled and waved. Then Nova hopped into Aster’s truck, and they were off before I could say another word.
“You really fucked that one up good,” Waylon muttered. “Stupid stick is alive and well.”
I glared at him before turning on my heel and heading back into the house. “I need to go change.”
“You might want to practice your groveling on the drive into town,” he called after me.
Goddamn it, he was right.