CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Kol
IKNEW THE MAN ASKING TO BUY NOVA A DRINK. STEVE. HE had a ranch a few miles outside of town. It had been passed down through his family for generations. Single. Never married. Solid family. No skeletons in the closet.
He was exactly the kind of man Nova deserved. He’d come into whatever they’d have with no baggage.
Yet, here I was, squashing that opportunity like a bug.
I slid the purplish bubbly drink into Nova’s hand. “Marionberry lime seltzer, right?”
Those gray eyes flared in surprise. “How’d you know?”
“You said it was your favorite when you did the local beer taste test.” It wasn’t a beer, but some of the local breweries had gotten into hard seltzers as well, and this had been Nova’s favorite.
“Thank you.” Her words weren’t whispered, but they weren’t exactly loud either. She took a long drink.
“Sorry about that, Kol. Didn’t mean to overstep,” Steve said, then dipped his hat to Nova. “Have a good night, ma’am.”
Nova took another drink. “I don’t think I’ve ever been called ma’am in my life.”
Aster chuckled, but her gaze moved between the two of us. Curious. “Better get used to it around here.”
Nova pulled the straw from between her lips. “Thank you. On both fronts. I don’t know if I’m ready for … that.”
Everything in me seized. Because one day she would be ready. Especially if I didn’t pull my head out of my ass. “No problem.”
Aster toyed with the straw in her own drink, a smile spreading over her face. “You know, Kol, I don’t think I’ve ever once seen you at the Boot on a music night.”
I scowled at her. “I like music.”
Nova’s lips twitched. “Boss, you do not like music.”
My scowl swiveled to her. “I do, too.”
She looked like she was fighting a laugh now, her mouth thinning as her eyes danced. “You like quiet. Open spaces. No one around except for your daughter. Maybe occasionally your brothers and Waylon.”
She knew me too well.
“I like when you’re around.” The words were out before I could stop them. Waylon had said the truth was rarely simple, but this one was. Everything was better when Nova was around.
Her jaw went the slightest bit slack, loosening the hold she had on her smile.
Aster sucked in an audible breath. “I need a refill on this club soda. Be back.” With that, she hurried away.
Nova stared up at me, those gray eyes searching. “That’s not fair.”
“Probably not,” I admitted.
I wanted to touch her so damn badly. I wanted to pull her into my arms and know what it was like to dance with her. Because while I might not like music and unnecessary noise, I more than liked Nova. My brain and my mouth danced around a word I only used with a handful of people.
“What are you doing here?” Nova asked, pulling a little of her shield up.
“Waylon said I got hit with the stupid stick.”
Those beautiful lips twitched again. “I need to tell that man just how smart he is.”
I grimaced. “He doesn’t need anything else going to his head.”
“Gonna make him a Bigfoot cake.”
“Please, don’t encourage that.”
“Maybe I can figure out how to knit and make him a Bigfoot blanket. There’s that craft store, the Yarn Barn. I bet they can teach me.”
“Phoenix,” I warned.
Pain flashed across her features, and I couldn’t figure out why. But then I realized. I’d made an effort not to call her that. Not since the crime scene when Pete had all but threatened my job.
The urge to pull her to me was almost too much.
I did a quick sweep of the bar and cursed.
Too many eyes. I spotted Roger in the corner, chatting up a pretty brunette.
A few other deputies. A woman I recognized as a local Forest Service agent.
And then there was Pete—at the end of the bar, staring straight at me.
Fucking hell.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, dropping my voice low.
Nova’s gray eyes flashed silver. “I don’t want your apologies. You can’t have it both ways, Kol.”
My jaw worked back and forth because I knew she was right. But she was also wrong. “I’m not trying to push you away.”
She arched a brow at that.
“Okay, I was. Because the truth is, you scare the hell out of me, Phoenix. I haven’t let myself reach for something I want in a long time—maybe not since my brothers and I found out who our dad really was.”
A fissure appeared in Nova’s mask, the slightest slip as her empathy broke through.
“I think a part of me thought—still thinks—I don’t deserve it.”
“Kol,” she whispered.
I took one step and then another, catching the slightest hint of her scent. “But I can’t stop myself from wanting you. Can’t stop myself from dreaming about you. You haunt me. Awake. Asleep. No matter what I do.”
Nova frowned. “That doesn’t exactly sound like a compliment.”
“Does it look like I’m trying to get exorcised?”
One corner of her mouth kicked up.
“I’d take your ghost over anyone else. Even just the memory of how it felt to hold you.” My knuckles skimmed the back of her hand. Just the barest graze. “How you smell—like sunbaked cherries and vanilla. Sometimes, I think you spray it into the air vents.”
“Kol.”
My ribs constricted around my lungs, but I continued my confession. I couldn’t stop now. Moreover, I didn’t want to. I’d gotten a taste of living without her, and I hated it with every fiber of my being. “You make everything you touch better.”
Some unnamed emotion streaked across her face. “It doesn’t feel like that. Not lately.”
I hooked my pointer finger around hers. “You make me better. My life. My world.”
Nova’s hand trembled in mine. “What do you want?”
“Come home with me.” It was both a question and a plea. A reckless leap and a spark in a desert-dry forest. But I didn’t give a damn. All I could do was wait to see if she’d meet me in the potential ruin.