CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Nova
YOU GONNA TELL ME WHY YOU’RE GLARING THROUGH The windshield like you suddenly got laser beam eyes and want to fry everyone in your path?” Maverick asked cheerily.
I let out a very unladylike grunt. “You gonna tell me what happened between you and Aster?”
Silence suddenly reigned in his SUV.
I sighed. “Sorry. Low blow.”
“Naw,” Mav said easily. “The Ice Queen just can’t handle how much she wants my body. Makes her cranky around me.”
Despite the levity, I could hear the tension wrapped around Mav’s words.
My gaze flicked over to him as he navigated the gravel road, his fingers gripping the wheel like a lifeline. Whatever had happened between the two of them had marked him. No … both of them.
“Your brother let his overprotective gene override his brain,” I said, giving Maverick the answer he’d been looking for from the beginning.
“Which one?”
“Which one do you think?”
Mav sighed. “Kol.”
I kicked my sneakered feet up onto the dash. “I love that you got it in one guess.”
“Well, that particular brother has the protective thing going in spades. If it helps, it only shows up for the people he cares about. Took Brae a few weeks to sneak under his defenses, but you had her beat.”
A little voice of doubt told me it was simply because Kol had been the one to find me. A more taunting voice told me that was the only reason he cared.
“I need to be able to really live,” I said softly. “Otherwise, what’s the point?”
Maverick was quiet for a long moment. When he finally spoke, his voice was different than I’d ever heard it before. More serious. “Sometimes, you have to press the boundaries to know for sure you’re still breathing.”
My gaze flicked to him again. He stared straight ahead at the road and the forest beyond before turning into a parking lot. And then I remembered what Kol had shared with me. That Mav had been the one their father had almost killed.
It had to be a whole other sort of head trip, your father being the architect of your nightmares. At least my monster was a stranger.
Mav pulled into a parking spot. There were four other vehicles in the lot, but the time it had taken for us to get here told me this spot was more off the beaten path than the first place I’d tried.
“All right,” Mav began as he pulled our bikes off his rack. “The trickiest part of this trail is the beginning. I’ll lead so you can watch how I handle the drops and turns. But I want to map out the path with you. It’s a loop, but there are plenty of turnoffs that you don’t want to take.”
I nodded, following him over to a massive map printed on a wooden sign. He was right about all the different options for trails. It looked like a huge maze of paths.
“Basically, always stay on the center trail, and you’ll be good,” Mav explained, his finger tracing over the Meadow Peak Trail.
It had a blue square for its difficulty delineation, meaning it was one step up from easy.
“I’ll be within sight of you at all times, except for a few hairpin turns and drops. But just for a minute.”
“Got it.”
“Okay, not to court comparison to my overprotective oaf of a brother, but can we do an in-case-of-emergency check?”
I made a face at Mav that only made him laugh.
“I’m taking that as a yes. Water?”
I pointed to the bottle affixed to my bike.
“First-aid kit?”
“Thanks to your Boy Scout self.” Mav had given me a little one that attached to my handlebar.
“And you’ve got your phone?”
I nodded, patting the pocket on my leggings.
“Good,” Mav went on. “I would say you’re ready.”
I grinned back at him. “Let’s do this.”
He just shook his head. “I think you might give me a run for my money as the adrenaline junkie of the group.”
If he saw my cliff-jumping escapades, he’d know how true that was.
We donned our protective gear and moved to the start of the trail.
It was one that split into three and would continue to divide as we went.
The forest consumed it on every side, and the sun through the trees cast the area in an array of colors that reminded me how lucky I was to still be here, to be experiencing all life had to offer.
Maverick came to a stop at the top of the hill and looked over his shoulder, doing a silent check-in. I gave him a nod, and he tipped his bike over the edge.
My body was already humming, desperate for the release that would shove the anxiety and fear down. Because it had been ramping up again since my heated words with Kol this morning. As if he hadn’t worn me out last night, leaving me completely sated and spent.
Shoving down the concern that none of my escapes were helping like they used to, I straddled my bike and focused on Mav. The last thing I needed was to be distracted and end up with a broken clavicle or a dislocated shoulder.
Maverick was clearly an expert. His bike hugged each curve and bend in the trail. His body preemptively adjusted to what lay ahead.
I tried to take mental notes of how he handled each obstacle—leaning in and out of turns, staying light in his seat, accelerating and braking.
When Mav reached the bottom of the trail, he took the center path and disappeared into the trees. My turn. The buzz beneath my skin intensified, my body, mind, and spirit desperate for the high I knew this would bring.
Shoving off, I stood, balancing on the pedals as the bike tipped over the edge. The drop felt like heaven. Wind whipped against my face as I charged down the mountainside.
I tapped my brakes lightly, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. It decreased my speed just enough for me to make it through the turn without taking a spill. As I straightened from the curve, the path dipped, launching me into a jump.
Leaning forward, I braced for impact by keeping my knees bent and absorbing the contact with my whole body. A whoop left my lips as I crested a hill and dipped into the next curve.
It was everything I needed. The ever-changing landscape forced me to stay in the present, not letting my mind get caught up in the past or mired in the future. There was only the now.
Mav and I found our cadence as we traversed the forest paths. We saw the occasional biker or hiker, even a couple of folks with dogs. Everyone was enjoying the heart of fall before winter descended, and snow was a very real possibility.
While I loved that they were all living, too, my favorite moments were the times when it was just me, the bike, and nature all around.
My breathing sounded loud in my ears, punctuating the fact that I was still living.
I lost myself in it. The blur of the trees as I raced past, the feel of the wind sharp against my face, my muscles pushing me as fast as I could go.
I wound my way through the trails until my lungs ached and my thighs trembled. As I slowed my bike, I frowned. This didn’t look like anything I’d seen on the map. The Meadow Peak Trail was framed by a babbling brook and the meadow it was named for. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen either.
All I saw now were trees—taller and thicker than how they’d started out, no meadow or creek peeking through the branches.
Anxiety swept through me, but I bit down on the inside of my cheek, staving it off.
Mav had made sure I had my emergency supplies for a reason.
I guided my bike off the trail, in case another biker came tearing through, and pulled out my phone.
I unlocked it and hit Maverick’s contact.
Nothing.
No ringing. No beeping. No nothing.
I looked at my phone screen. No bars. Then half a bar. Then none again.
A wave of dizziness slid over me, and I forced myself to climb off my bike.
“You’re fine, Nova. You’re perfectly safe.” But I could hear the tension in my voice, the tendrils of panic weaving through my words.
“No one even misses you. They’re not even looking. They don’t care at all.”
Travis’s words swirled in my mind. The cruel twist of his mouth. His hands tightening around my throat.
I couldn’t breathe.
“You’re alive. You’re breathing.”
I tried to fight off Travis’s words with Kol’s. I desperately attempted to hold on to that safe space in my mind as I struggled back up the trail the way I had come. I’d find my way back. I wouldn’t be lost.
“No one even knows you’re gone.”
It was Travis’s voice but new words. Cruel and taunting syllables that had to be a figment of my imagination. Still, I couldn’t get them to stop.
“They’re happy you’re gone.”
“Life would be so much easier without all the trouble you cause.”
The words were a mix of Travis’s and my mother’s now—the twisted cruelty they both loved so much.
“Gone is exactly where we want you to be—us and everyone else.”