CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Kol
IKEPT LOOKING OVER AT NOVA AS I DROVE, AS IF SHE MIGHT suddenly vanish right in front of my eyes. I wanted to touch her. To comfort her. But she was covered in scratches and had some nasty gashes on her knees. I didn’t want to hurt her in an attempt to help.
But she found me instead.
Even as she stared out at the road in front of us almost vacantly, she reached out to me. Her hand searched for mine, and I met her in the middle, weaving my fingers through hers and bringing them to rest on my thigh.
God, I was worried about her. I didn’t have the first clue what had happened in those woods, if something had broken in her more deeply than what I could fix.
My hand spasmed around Nova’s instinctively, as if holding her more tightly was some magical cure. Only I knew it wouldn’t be. I’d seen that firsthand with Brae. Clinging more tightly had only hurt.
I focused on my breathing as my house came into view. Nova didn’t even seem to register it. My gaze flicked to the rearview mirror, and I saw a trail of vehicles behind me: Mav’s. Wylder’s. Dex’s. My brothers wanted to help, but part of me just wanted them to go.
But I had no choice. They were here, and that’s how it was going to be.
Shutting off the engine, I turned to Nova. “I’m gonna come around and get you, okay?” I didn’t want her jumping down and hurting herself.
Nova’s hand only gripped mine harder. “Don’t go.”
Those words broke something in me. But they had nothing on her next ones.
“Don’t leave me. Everybody leaves me.”
Fucking hell.
I pressed my lips gently to her temple. “You’re stuck with me, Phoenix. Not letting go.”
I shoved my door open, unfastened my seat belt and then Nova’s, then carefully extricated her. “Think you can lean over the console so I can take you with me?”
She moved instantly. Complete trust. And that slayed something in me.
Trying to mitigate the awkward angles, I pulled her over and into the driver’s seat, then lifted her into my arms. As I did, more doors slammed.
Nova curled into me, burying her face in the crook of my neck as if she didn’t want to see anyone.
“What can I do?” Maverick asked softly. I could hear the guilt in his words, like I could see the bruise already darkening his jawbone.
My own guilt swirled. “You can get me the first-aid kit. I’m going to take her to my room,” I said quietly.
“She’ll need a change of clothes. I’ll get them,” Brae said as she walked up, her voice tight. Her expression battled between anger and worry. And I understood both. I couldn’t blame her for either.
Wylder moved into the open door of my truck, swiping up my keys. “I’ll get the door.”
And that was the thing—even when it felt like they were invading my space, my brothers were always there. Showing up for me.
Wylder watched me as I carried Nova up the stairs. “Ever’s in town. Want me to have her give Nova a once-over?”
I stilled for a moment. I hadn’t known that our childhood friend, Orion’s first love—his only love as far as I knew—was in town. She might be taking a break from working as a doctor for Medicine for Humanity, but I wasn’t above asking her to put that hat back on for Nova.
“Call her,” I said, my voice low.
“Someone might want to warn the god of the brood,” Mav singsonged.
“Just sent him a text,” Dex cut in as I carried Nova inside.
We’d made it clear to Orion that just because he’d cut Ever out of his life, that didn’t mean we would. She’d grown up with us. Her family had worked and lived on the property we’d grown up on … until it all fell apart.
But for the first time in a long time, I didn’t give a damn if Ever being here tripped his triggers. Nova needed a doctor, and Ever was one of the few I trusted.
Nova held tightly to me as I climbed the stairs. Her strength was a reassurance, but the fact that she was clinging so hard worried the hell out of me.
Navigating the doorway, I crossed to my bed and lowered her to the mattress.
She stayed sitting, but her eyes were too unfocused.
She’d lost my flannel I’d seen her leave in somewhere along the way and wore only the soft purple workout gear from earlier.
Angry scratches dotted her arms and chest, and her knees and one shin were bloody.
Just the sight of it had anger rushing to the surface. Anger at Mav, at everything Nova had been through, at myself.
Footsteps sounded. “Here’s the kit,” Maverick said softly, lowering it to the floor next to me. “I’m sorry—”
“Not now,” I gritted out. “I know you are. Just … not now.”
“Yeah. Okay.”
He slid from the room as new footsteps sounded.
“I got some loose sweats and a T-shirt,” Brae began, stepping inside. “Why don’t you let me help her get changed and—?”
“I’ve got it.”
I could practically feel Brae bristle, but she battled it back. “Supernova, you okay with Kol? You need me to stay?”
“Good—with—Kol.” Nova’s voice sounded rusty, raw, but it still cut through the room like a blade.
“Okay, babycakes. But I’m here if you need me. I’ll just be downstairs.”
When the door shut behind Brae, I breathed a little deeper. I gently brushed my knuckles over Nova’s cheekbone, and she leaned into the touch. “Okay, Phoenix. We’re going to do this together. You want anything to stop, you just say the word, all right?”
She nodded, her eyes focusing on me a little more.
“I think we need these leggings off, but I’m gonna get you a pair of shorts to wear while I clean you up. Okay?”
Another nod.
I pushed to my feet, grateful she didn’t panic about me leaving her again. I moved to my dresser and pulled out the oldest pair of shorts with a drawstring I had, hoping they’d be slightly smaller.
I knew she’d still swim in them—as I crossed back to her, she looked so damn tiny sitting on the edge of my bed. So vulnerable.
And I had the sudden, visceral urge to kill every person who’d ever hurt her.
It took everything in me to relax my grip on the shorts and ease my expression. I dropped to my knees on the floor in front of Nova, carefully unlacing one shoe and slipping it off. Then the other.
I looked up at her and found her watching me. “Do you think you can stand?”
Her hands found my shoulders, using them for balance and leverage. Then, she stood.
My fingers hooked in the band of her leggings, careful not to get her underwear, too. “Okay?”
“Okay,” she rasped.
I pulled the leggings down as gently as possible, but Nova still winced when I got to her scraped knees. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“It’s all right.”
“It’s not,” I ground out, pulling one foot out and then the other.
“I’ve been through worse. I’ll make it through this, too.”
That didn’t make me feel any better. But there was nothing I could do but take care of her right now. I helped her into the shorts, having to double knot the drawstring to get them to stay in place. Nova’s hands gripped my shoulders as she sat back down on the bed.
“I just need to wash my hands.” I bolted for the bathroom. The second I caught my reflection in the mirror, I cursed. Wild-eyed and pale, I looked like some sort of cornered animal.
Turning the water as cold as it would go, I splashed some onto my face, as if that would miraculously bring me back from the edge. It didn’t.
Instead, I focused on meticulously washing my hands. Drying them. Pulling on that familiar mask that disguised anything I might be feeling.
I went back into the bedroom and knelt in front of Nova again. I felt her eyes on me, watching, but I couldn’t make eye contact. I couldn’t handle seeing the pain there.
Swallowing hard, I donned gloves and poured some hydrogen peroxide onto a cotton ball. “This might sting a little.”
“That’s okay.”
No, it fucking wasn’t. But I did it anyway because I had to.
Nova jumped just a little as I cleaned one knee. I bit the inside of my lip so hard I tasted blood, then moved to her other knee and down to her shin.
Afterward, I cleaned the scratches on her arms and then her chest. I was obsessive, searching for anywhere that might’ve been affected. Then I forced myself to look at her face.
“Does it hurt anywhere else?”
Nova stared at me, searching. “I’m sorry.”
I recoiled as if she’d struck me. “What do you have to be sorry about?”
“I shouldn’t have bitten your head off this morning. I shouldn’t have taken off without talking things out.”
“You don’t have to apologize.” I struggled to keep my voice even.
“I do.”
“I shouldn’t have tried to keep you from doing the things that are helping. I just want you to be safe.”
One corner of her mouth kicked up the barest amount. “Well, you were right. The only monster was me. And I still managed to do some serious damage.”
I scowled at her. “You’re the farthest thing from a monster.”
“I thought I was your little demon,” Nova challenged.
Relief spread through me at seeing some of her fire returning, but I still struggled with Nova thinking of herself as anything monstrous. My knuckles grazed her cheek. “You’re perfect.”
“No one’s perfect, Kol.”
“You’re perfectly imperfect. Because all those things you see as failures only make you more beautiful.”
Her gray eyes shone in the light streaming in from the window. “Boss …”
I brushed my lips against hers, featherlight. “I’m with you. Whatever you need.”
A knock sounded on the door. “It’s Ever,” I told her quietly.
Nova stiffened.
I brushed a hand over her hair. “It’s okay. It’s the childhood friend I told you about. She’s a doctor.”
The pieces started to slide into place. “Orion’s Ever?”
Any remaining fear was replaced by instant fascination.
“That one.” I studied her for a moment. “Okay to let her in?”
Nova nodded quickly.
I pushed to my feet, snapping off my gloves and opening the door. Ever stood there, wearing jeans, combat boots, and a worn T-shirt with a logo that looked to be in some foreign language. It might’ve been for a beer company.
Her hair hung down around her shoulders, and countless necklaces looped over her tee. There was nothing but concern in her features. “Hey, Kol.”
“Thanks for coming.” I pulled her into a quick hug, having to bend over to do so.
“Of course. Introduce me.”