CHAPTER FORTY
Kol
ISTOOD ON THE BACK DECK, WATCHING AS A FULLY KITTED-out Skylar and Owen played some battle game where Tink and Pepper were their fellow soldiers. Sky had put fairy wings and a superhero mask on the mini-Highland cow and somehow affixed a tiara to the goat’s head and a cape to her back.
Skylar herself wore a feather boa, a cape, and goggles, and she carried a Nerf gun. Owen had a mask beneath his glasses, a crown, another cape, and a Nerf gun. The image of it was completely ridiculous and the only thing that might be comforting in the moment.
Their innocence amid all the pain that circled our family … we had to hold on to it. Make the world a better place for them.
But all I could think about was Nova. Up in my room. Ever tending to her wounds. I was scared as hell for her on every level. Her heart, her mind, her soul. And that didn’t touch her physical safety. Because we still hadn’t found Heidi Ingram or who’d left her bloody necklace on Nova’s car.
I forced myself to let out a breath, nice and slow. I needed to get myself together before I went back up there. When I reached the kitchen, Brae had already been hard at work making Nova a snack while Waylon was preparing a pot of chili and biscuits for everyone.
Family showed up. At least, the one we’d managed to cobble together. And they all loved Nova. Wanted to be there for her.
“Do you want to punch me again?”
I glanced over at Maverick as he moved in beside me, hands in his pockets. I winced. The bruise looked worse already. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have hit you.”
Violence wasn’t something I reached for unless it was unavoidable. And I sure as hell didn’t use it on my brothers outside of our version of shit-talking.
“I deserved it.” Mav’s focus lifted to my bedroom window.
My jaw worked back and forth. It was both Mav’s fault and it wasn’t. And I didn’t know how to put that into words.
“She’s more fragile than I realized,” he went on softly. “I should’ve seen it, but I didn’t. Regardless, I should’ve been more careful, especially given everything that’s going on.”
The reminder of the missing woman and the notes churned in my gut, but I wouldn’t pile on more when Mav already knew he’d messed up. “Nova covers well,” I said. “But we can’t forget what she’s been through.”
He nodded slowly. “You two …”
The words hung in the air.
“I care about her.” God, those words felt like a lie. Because some part of me had fallen for Nova the moment I saw her fighting to stay when it would’ve been so easy to give up. And that falling had only dug itself deeper and deeper the more I got to know her.
Wylder appeared on my other side, moving silently but clearly having taken in the exchange between Mav and me. He studied me for a long moment. It was the kind of assessment that had me squirming.
“Just say whatever you’re thinking,” I grumbled.
“Are you sure it’s smart? You two have a trauma bond. If it’s that and nothing more, it could cause a lot of damage. To her”—his gaze flicked to Skylar, who was rolling in the grass with Tink—“and to you.”
My back teeth ground together until my jaw ached. “First, when Nova cut me off, she still saw Sky all the time. She’d never bail on my kid because this wasn’t working between the two of us.”
Wylder opened his mouth to argue, but I kept right on going.
“Second, it may have been trauma that brought us together, but that’s not what binds us.
It’s how she battled her way out of the ashes.
It’s the way she lives, how she gives me quiet and acceptance to be whoever I am and share whatever I need to.
And maybe our wounds make us understand each other better than anyone else, but that doesn’t mean this is some toxic connection. ”
“I never said that,” Wylder argued.
Frustration and something just a bit greater than annoyance flitted through me. “Didn’t you? And like you’re one to talk. I see the way you look at Cora, how you’re the one picking up the pieces for her.”
Wylder’s mouth slammed shut.
It was a low blow. I shouldn’t have gone there. I scrubbed both my hands over my face. “I’m sorry.”
God, I was fucking up left and right today.
“Let’s all take a breath,” Mav said. “And be honest. None of us enters into relationships from a perfectly emotionally healthy place.”
“Or at all,” Dex said, moving into our group and slapping Mav on the shoulder.
He glared at Dex. “You know what I mean. Healing is a journey. The best we can hope for is to find someone who’s willing to go on it with us.”
The back door shut. “Maverick Archer, have you become a wise sage?”
I turned at the sound of Ever’s voice, anxiety washing through me. Where was Nova? Was she alone? Was she okay? Did I need to go up there?
“You should know by now that I’m the genius of this bunch,” Mav shot back with a grin.
Ever sent me a reassuring smile. “Brae’s with her. She’s good. They’re eating, and Nova’s getting ready to come downstairs.”
“She should rest—”
Ever cut me off. “She should do what feels right to her.”
I let out a huff of air. “Damn you for always being right.”
Ever’s lips twitched. “That’s what I like to hear.” Her gaze swept over my brothers. “I’ll also say, we had a good talk. Encouraging her to find some therapy or a therapist that works for her would be good. But don’t push it. That’ll do more harm than good.”
Ever turned to me, her expression softening. But there was something beneath it. Pain or even longing. “I’ll also say, she’s with you for the right reasons. Because you give her a safe space to express herself, not because she feels she owes you anything.”
I fought the urge to send Wylder a pointed look.
“But this won’t be easy,” Ever went on. “She’s going through a lot.”
“I know that,” I gritted out.
Dex cleared his throat. “And not to be a Debbie Downer, but what about your job? They aren’t going to like this. Is that why you’ve been keeping it a secret?”
My gut churned because it was more than them not liking it. Sherri would fire my ass—or maybe just suspend me if I was lucky. It was as if two parts of me were locked in battle. One that needed control and justice, and didn’t trust anyone else to get it. And one that simply needed Nova.
“If we close the case quickly, it won’t be an issue,” I gritted out.
“Because we’re so close to that,” Wylder muttered.
This time, I did glare at him. “Then maybe we should be a little more focused, a bit more dedicated. Because I’m not the only one who cares about this outcome.”
Dex held up a hand. “We all care.”
Ever looked back and forth between us, a hint of confusion on her face.
And that’s when I realized my mistake. She didn’t know about the Hourglass Network.
She didn’t know that we secretly helped to find missing people whose families had nowhere else to turn.
And by connecting my brothers to the case, I’d almost blown that cover sky-high.
I pressed the heels of my palms against my eyes, trying to beat back the headache and pressure building from all my screwups.
Ever glanced around the back deck, but she let it go. Instead, she simply said, “I’m going to go try to see him.”
That stopped us all. Because we knew who him was. Just like we knew that Orion would never see her.
But it didn’t stop her from trying. She’d stand outside his door and wait. Sometimes, just thirty minutes. Other times, she’d wait hours. She’d tried every method under the sun.
She’d held up signs, knowing the security cameras would pick up the words. She’d blared music he hated, music he loved. She’d tried just talking at the cameras. She’d tried silence.
Nothing ever moved him.
And the longer it went on, the harder it was for all of us to take.
I needed to talk to Orion. Because I thought if he saw her just once, if he gave her the closure she deserved, maybe Ever could move on.
“Come back for dinner,” I said gruffly. “Waylon’s making chili and biscuits.”
One of Ever’s brows arched at that. “One, two, or three pepper?”
My mouth twitched. “Just one. Nova’s stomach is still tender.”
“That’s okay, I’ll bring my own hot sauce to spice things up,” she said.
Dex chuckled. “It’s no wonder you’re Waylon’s favorite.”
Mav looked thoughtful. “I wonder who would win in a hot-sauce off: Little Badass or Ever?”
“Stop calling my fiancée Little Badass,” Dex growled.
“I’m not calling her Hot Little Badass anymore. What more do you want from me?” Mav argued.
Dex dove for Maverick, taking him down to the grass for a noogie. The kids and animals instantly joined in on the fun, but Ever moved closer to me, squeezing my hand and then letting it go.
“You’re good for her. And she’s good for you. You make each other better. More yourselves. And there’s no greater gift than that.”
With those words, she slipped off the side of the deck and headed for her rental car. But the words stayed with me, and I’d hold tight to the hope in them. Just as long as nothing else blew up in my face.