Chapter Thirty-Nine
The antiseptic hospital smells overwhelmed her, reminding Val of the night Bobby had died. After the shooting that night, she’d been taken to the hospital, though the blood on her clothes and hands had belonged to Bobby, not her.
She paced the floor of the waiting room. Ethan was still in surgery. The bullet had damaged his spleen. He could die in there. A little sob locked in her throat. Dear God, she couldn’t take anymore.
Her mind returned to the events of the evening.
As soon as Luke had called and she and Dirk were on their way to the hospital, she had phoned Mom and Pops and told them what had happened.
They were coming to Seattle, but they couldn’t leave the farm until they’d made arrangements for someone to take care of the animals.
She had phoned Meg, but Meg was in Chicago, on a modeling job for La Belle. Meg had wanted to fly back, but Val had said she’d be all right as soon as she knew Ethan was okay.
Both of them had cried.
The door swung open and Luke strode in, Dirk following in his wake. “You need anything?” Dirk asked.
She just shook her head.
“Why don’t we go get some coffee?” Luke asked softly. He was an interesting man, hard in some ways, gentle in others.
“Not right now. I don’t want to leave.” Val sat down on the gray vinyl sofa, her gaze going to the other two people in the room, an older, heavyset woman and her short, stout husband, there for their son, she’d heard the woman say. The couple looked as worried as Val.
“He’s gonna be all right, you know.” Dirk sat down beside her. “Vardon’s supposed to be a brilliant surgeon. Sadie checked him out.”
“That’s what she told me.” Sadie and Ian were both in the hospital somewhere. They’d been pacing, trying to make time speed up, finally headed outside to get some fresh air.
“He’ll be okay,” Dirk repeated, returning to his feet. Rightly figuring she couldn’t be persuaded to leave, he and Luke sat down in chairs across from her and each picked up a magazine.
The door opened again and Samantha walked in, her fine brown curls subdued with a clip at the nape of her neck, her baby bump getting bigger every day. Val rose to her feet and went into Sam’s arms for a badly needed hug. Both of them started crying, then finally pulled themselves together.
Through the waiting room window, she caught a glimpse of Nick, out in the hall with Hannah. Uncomfortable with two crying women, Dirk and Luke left to join him.
“I’m so glad you came,” Val said.
Samantha nodded and leaned in to give her another hug. Through the window, Val watched Dirk take hold of Hannah’s small hand, and the group headed down the hall to the cafeteria.
“We decided to bring Hannah with us,” Samantha explained. “She heard Nick talking to Ian on the phone. When she realized her daddy was in the hospital, she was so upset we figured it would be better to bring her down, let her wait for news with the rest of us.”
“She was in the hospital before. Ethan was there when she needed him, so she wants to be there for him. You did the right thing.” Tears welled. Val dragged a Kleenex out of the pocket of her borrowed sweatpants and dabbed at the wetness.
Both of them sat down on the sofa. “He’s going to be okay, Val. No one’s in better physical condition than Ethan. Ian told us the doctor said he should come through the surgery very well.”
“I know. I wish I could convince myself. Even if he gets well, I can’t make myself believe everything will be all right between us. It isn’t going to be all right. Not now or ever.”
“Don’t say that. I know you’re worried. I know what you’ve been through. But Jason Stern is dead. The police have arrested Myra Stern and Bick Gallagher and everyone involved in Delilah Larsen’s murder. Julian Latham’s been arrested. Even Peter Latham and his wife are in custody.”
She nodded. Luke had told her all that. “What about the men who shot at us at Dirk’s?”
“Nick says they were Gallagher’s hired guns. It wasn’t personal to them. Gallagher will probably make a deal, give them up to the authorities in exchange for a lesser sentence. Even with that, he’ll be in prison for a very long time.”
Fresh tears welled. “How do you do it? I don’t understand.
Nick’s a private investigator. How do you handle the worry?
Never knowing exactly where he is or what he’s doing?
Whether he’s been shot or even killed?” Her heart squeezed painfully.
“Even if Ethan wants a future with me, I don’t think I can do it. ”
“Listen to me, Val. Ethan and Nick are good men. So are Dirk and Luke and Ian. These guys are the best. The kind of men the world needs. It’s a better place because they’re in it, helping protect the rest of us.”
“I know, but . . .” Val shook her head. “I’m not tough enough to handle the kind of lives they lead.”
Samantha reached over and caught her hand. “You may not be tough, but you’re strong. You’ve proved that again and again. Men like Nick and Ethan need strong women to come home to. That’s what makes them strong. Do you love him?”
Val glanced away, wiped another tear from her cheek. “I love him so much. I can’t stand to think of him lying in there in pain.”
She swallowed past the ache in her throat. After the phone call from Luke and her wild ride with Dirk down the mountain to the hospital, she’d been frantic. Ethan had been shot. She didn’t know how badly he’d been injured, didn’t know if he might be dying.
Dirk had tried to keep her calm, but too much had happened. By the time they’d reached the hospital, she’d been nearly hysterical. No way could she handle anything like that again.
“Ethan loves you,” Sam said. “I could see it in his eyes every time he looked at you.”
Val glanced away. Sometimes loving someone wasn’t enough.
“Our men are tough,” Samantha continued. “And you know how capable they are. But they have a heart and soul just like everyone else. They need someone to love them, someone they can lean on, someone to help them stay strong. Ethan needs you, Val. He needs you to be strong for him.”
Val looked at Sam and an odd feeling moved through her. She had survived the loss of her parents, survived Bobby’s death, and had pulled herself up by her bootstraps. She had survived the terror she had endured on the fashion show tour, and that took guts. She was strong. She knew that deep down.
But she had never thought she might have something to give to Ethan. She had always thought he would be the protector, the one to take care of her, even though she was a self-sufficient, independent woman.
But Samantha’s words stirred something deep inside her, some sense of rightness that seemed to put everything in its proper place. For the first time, she realized Ethan needed someone to take care of him, too. Maybe needed her even more than she needed him.
“What you’ve been through,” Samantha said.
“I know what it’s like. I told you what happened to Nick and me in Alaska, how close we both came to being killed.
But their job isn’t usually so dangerous.
Now that Nick’s married, he’s more selective about the cases he chooses.
Nick wants to be a husband and father. He wants to be around to raise his kids. I think Ethan wants that, too.”
Val swallowed, the pressure in her chest beginning to ease. Maybe there was hope for them. If she was truly the woman Ethan wanted.
The doctor walked in just then. At the serious look on his face, fear poured through her. Her heart jerked and started pounding.
Then he smiled. “Ethan’s out of surgery. He did great. We only had to take a small portion of the spleen, not all of it. He’ll be in the recovery room for a while. The nurse will let you know when you can see him.”
Val turned to Samantha and the two of them hugged. “He’s okay,” Val said, repeating the doctor’s words. “He did great.”
Samantha grinned. “Yes, he did.”
The news spread throughout their worried little group.
People went in and out of the waiting room, went for coffee, then returned.
Hannah sat on Val’s lap for a while. One of the nurses handed the little girl a coloring book, and once she knew her daddy was going to be okay, she sat on the floor and colored.
Then the door opened and a nurse in green scrubs walked into the waiting room. “You’re Valerie, right? His girlfriend?”
She nodded. “I’m Val.”
“He’s asking for you. You can see him, but only for a few minutes.”
Val came up off the sofa. “Thank you.”
Samantha caught her hand as she started for the door. “Remember what I said.”
But all Val could think of was Ethan.
She followed the nurse out the door, down the hall into the recovery room, up to his bedside. His skin was pale, his eyes closed. Black lashes fanned his cheeks. He was hooked up to a heart monitor. Bags of saline hung from a rolling IV stand, dripping fluid into his veins.
Her heart hurt and fresh tears blurred her vision. She reached out and took hold of his hand. The warm, strong feel of it steadied her.
Ethan’s eyes cracked open. He saw her and an uncertain look came over his face. “I’m . . . okay, honey. Or I . . . will be.”
She tried to smile, couldn’t quite make it happen. “I know, the doctor said.”
“You don’t need to worry. I’m a very fast . . . healer.”
She almost smiled, swallowed back tears and nodded, couldn’t manage another word.
“Promise we’ll talk . . . before you say no.”
A tear rolled down her cheek. “You think I’m going to say no?”
“I’m afraid . . . you will.” He lifted her hand to his lips, pressed a kiss into her palm. “I love you. Stupid time to tell you.”
It wasn’t stupid. She managed to force her lips into a teary smile. “You sure it’s not just the meds talking?”
His mouth edged up. “I’ve loved you . . . for a while. I just hadn’t . . . figured it out.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks. She bent over him, brushed the faintest kiss over his lips. “I love you, too. Didn’t take me long to figure it out.”
His eyes slid closed. “Who needs a whole spleen, anyway?”
She was caught between laughter and tears. “I just need you,” she whispered softly.
But Ethan didn’t hear her. He had drifted back to sleep.
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” the nurse said, “but Ethan has another visitor. His little girl is here. She really needs to see him.”
“Of course.” Val eased back as the nurse led Hannah up to her father’s bedside. She saw the tubes and needles poking out of him, saw the pale color of his skin, and her face scrunched up with tears.
“He’s going to be okay, sweetheart.” Val reached down and took hold of the little girl’s hand. “I promise.”
Ethan slowly opened his eyes. “Hey . . . sweet cheeks . . .”
“Daddy . . .” Hannah leaned against the bed and started crying.
“I’m okay, sweetheart. Daddy just had a little . . . accident. Like when you fell off your trike. But I’m already . . . getting better.”
Val smoothed a hand over Hannah’s hair. “I know how you’re feeling. I was really scared, too. I know you love your daddy. I love him, too.”
Hannah turned to look up at her, eyes wet and glistening. “Is he really gonna be okay?”
“Yes, he is.” Val smiled down at Ethan. “He’s a very fast healer.”
Ethan’s lips twitched. “My two best girls.” His eyes slid slowly closed, then opened. “Listen to Valentine . . . sweetheart. Everything’s going to be okay.”
Hannah’s serious gaze swung from Ethan to Val. “I think Daddy loves you, too.”
For the first time since Luke had phoned Dirk, the smile that curved Val’s lips felt real.