Into The Light (Three Rivers #1)

Chapter 17

Seventeen

BEAR

I 'm still imploding at the fact that Noelle loves me.

I scrub myself clean, wash and condition my hair and beard, and then wash again, rinse off, get out, and dry off. Run a brush through my hair and beard. Wrap the towel around my waist.

I have no clue what to expect.

I'm nervous.

Eager.

And more than a little embarrassed that I actually cried in front of her. On her. I haven't cried since I was a little kid. I just…hearing her say those three incredible, magical little words was so unexpected that it just broke something inside me.

I open the bathroom door, letting steam swirl out. It's late, almost ten, and the summer sun has set. I'm not sure what I expect, but it's not what greets me.

The room is dark, the lights off, and the blinds shut. The only light is a flickering orange glow from a dozen candles Noelle has lit around the room —on the bedside table, her dresser, and the window sill. The candlelight creates a warm, welcoming, romantic ambiance, drawing me further into the room. A small Bluetooth speaker on the dresser plays soft, inviting acoustic music—guitar, a mandolin, a piano…I don’t know. All I know is the music is lovely and soothing. Romantic.

Romance has never been a part of my life. I don’t know shit about it. But this?

It tells me everything I need to know. And I know I'm going to give her this as often as I can, now that she's shown it to me.

It's yet another gift she's given me, one of so many. My heart feels so big and full in my chest that I'm half worried my ribcage can't hold it.

Noelle is at the side of the bed, lighting one last candle. She turns me, and my breath lodges in my lungs, catching and sticking at the hot hard dense lump that has formed there at the sight of her.

She's wearing a thin white robe that’s covered in pink cherry blossoms. It doesn't quite reach mid-thigh, leaving her beautiful, creamy, milky thighs bare. Belted loosely around her waist, it drapes open in a wide V, exposing the inner curves of her perfect breasts and a hint of a sapphire bra—just a snippet of lace around the lower curves of her breasts. She's brushed her long copper hair until it shines, hanging in loose waves over one shoulder. She's put on a little makeup, her lips vivid scarlet, eyes rimmed in black, making the shocking kelly green pop.

"Fuck," I growl. "Fucking gorgeous, Noelle."

She sets the long-neck lighter on the side table and glides toward me, her hips swaying in a sultry, seductive rhythm. "You haven't even seen what's under the robe, yet."

I'm speechless, tongue adhered to the roof of my mouth. My cock goes ramrod hard behind my towel, and I cling to the knot at my belly button, holding it in place, instinct making me try to hide the bulge of my arousal.

"Noelle." It's a breath, a prayer. "So perfect."

She moves closer. "I'm ready, Bear." She looks up at me from a foot away. "I need you."

My heart slams in my chest, my pulse pounds in my throat. I can't breathe. "Jesus." I reach a trembling hand toward her, and her eyes brighten as I rest my hand on her hip. "There aren't words to describe how fucking beautiful you are." I put my other hand on her hip, and her big, full, heavy round breasts swell with a deep breath at my touch. "How bad I fucking need you. How much I love you."

She trails her fingernails down my chest, making goosebumps crawl all over my body. Her fingers dance over my abdomen, playing and toying with the grooves and blocks of my abs. To the knot of my towel. "So don't tell me." She rubs her palms back up, scraping her smooth hands over my nipples, making me suck in a sharp breath. "Show me."

"Fuck." I caress her face, brush my thumb over her lips. "Don't know where to start."

She looks up at me from under her eyelids, long lashes thick and dark against her pale, freckled flesh. She rolls her thumbs over my nipples again. "Earlier, you said I’m a gift, right?"

I nod. "You are. The greatest gift I could ever get."

"So unwrap me." She rests her hands on my waist, a sly, eager, sexy smile on her lips. “Start there…my love."

My eyes burn—her endearments ravage me to the core of my soul every time. The way she says them—they're not just words, cheap and overused. They're deeply, passionately meant.

Grasping her waist, I spend a moment longer just looking at her.

"What are you waiting for?" she whispers.

"Memorizing this moment," I answer. "You, looking like that—for me . Soft and sexy and so goddamned beautiful in the candlelight." I shake my head, catch my breath in a rushed inhale. "Gonna remember this forever. You, like this. Treasure it. Cherish it."

"God, Bear," she says, in that tearful yet exasperated tone she gets when I say shit like that. "So damn sweet."

I grin, touch her lips. "Love it when my good girl curses."

"I am your good girl, aren't I?" she breathes. "All yours. All for you." She lifts on her toes, and her soft lips, tasting of bubblegum lip gloss, ghost against mine in an almost-kiss. “Unwrap me, Bear. Please.” She grips the knot of my towel and grips it with white-knuckled fingers. "Get me naked and make me yours."

I growl, so aroused it hurts, so in love I don’t know how to contain it. My hands shake as I tug the tie of her robe. The simple bow-knot comes loose and the robe drapes open.

My breath is hot as fire in my throat. "Jesus, Noelle."

She nibbles her lower lip nervously. "Bought it a long time ago. I've never worn it."

A complicated, mind-boggling thing of sapphire lace, the lingerie she's wearing makes my already impossibly-erect cock stiffen so hard I suck in a pained breath. It dives down between her thick, luscious thighs to just barely cover her sex with a narrow slice of lace, leaving her hips naked, leaving exposed the creases where her thighs angle in to her sex. Hugging her tucked-in waist, the lace scoops to frame her breasts, pushing them up from below and squeezing them together from the outside, putting them on mouthwatering display, big lush globes of ivory flesh laced with blue veins that my mouth waters to taste, a semi-circle of areolae peeking around the edge of the lace.

"Fuck,” I breathe. "Holy god in heaven."

Her hesitant gaze lifts to mine at my breathless curse, at the awe in my voice. "Bear…"

Need savages me, my chest heaving as I barely restrain myself from grabbing her and ripping the thing off.

I reach a trembling hand toward her, reverently touching the cleft between her breasts, tracing the outer curve of them. "Perfect tits." I step into her, crushing them against the wall of my chest, and reach down to cradle her backside. "Perfect ass."

"Bear," she whispers again, almost as if she doesn’t know what else to say. It comes out shaky, a gasp of a syllable.

I slide my fingers through her silky cool hair and then pinch her chin between my finger and thumb. "Perfect everything."

I dip down to her and claim her lips. Kiss her until the hunger rips through me with such wrecking-ball force that I have to back away, hands clenched into shaking fists.

She opens her eyes, mouth still parted from the kiss, confusion in her eyes. "Why…why did you stop?"

I growl, words abandoning me. I don't know how to describe what I’m feeling. I'm worried I'll scare her if I let her see the primal ferocity of my desire for her.

I shake my head, breath coming in short, frustrated snarls. "I…fuck, Noelle."

Her hands glide warm and delicate up my stomach. “Talk to me, baby. Tell me."

"Worried I'll scare you."

"What would scare me?"

"Me."

"What about you?" Her eyes seek, hunt, pierce mine. "This is when you give me the unvarnished truth, Bear. Whatever it is. Just tell me. I promise I’ll understand."

I shake my head. "Not like that." I can't control my hands—they grasp her hips, caress her thighs, her ass. "I…fuck. Fuck!" I force myself to let go. "Too rough." I close my eyes, and finally, something like a coherent explanation emerges. "I want you so goddamned bad , Noelle. Waited for you. Knew you needed time. And I don't regret it—I'd wait a century. An eternity."

"Bear, I—" she starts, but I touch her lips to silence her.

She goes quiet but gently and playfully seizes my finger in her teeth, grinning up at me.

"Let me get it out."

She keeps my finger in her teeth, nodding, and then closes her lips around my finger, her gaze burning with playful, seductive heat, tongue licking and teasing my finger; she mimes the act of oral sex on my finger, her eyes on mine, heated and aroused.

Her eyes draw the rest out of me. "You’re a work of art, Noelle. Exquisite. Perfect.” I hold up my hand, showing her my rough, scarred, callused palm; she lets go of my finger and nuzzles my hand, very much like a dog would, all nose, playful, her bright green eyes full of joy and arousal and eager fervor. "And me? I’m…rough. I could hurt you so easily. But I…I fucking need you. Need you so bad it feels like…like madness. It scares me."

She presses her palm to mine, her body flush against me, all doe-eyed beauty and sensual splendor. "Tell me about it, Bear. How it feels. Tell me exactly what your need is like. What it tells you to do."

I shake my head, not a denial exactly. "When I took that robe off and I saw you in this…" I trace the lace along the side of her breast. "I was consumed by this…this urge to—-"

Her doe eyes plead with me. "To what?"

"Rip it off you. Shred it. Pick you up and…" I swallow the rest.

"And what, baby? Tell me. I want to know. Tell me, please." She tucks her fingers between the towel and my skin, behind the knot; my stomach tucks in automatically, my body betraying me, begging for her touch. "Pick me up and do what to me?"

"Fuck you," I whisper. "Make love to you. But not…gently. Not sweet." My teeth grit and grind on the words. "Hard. Rough. Get you on your hands and knees and…" I'm lost to the image, the fantasy that I’ve tried so fucking hard over the last few months to forget. “Pound inside you until your ass shakes. Make your big perfect tits shake. Make come so hard so you see Jesus. I want to fuck you and never, ever stop.”

"Ohhh…" she breathes. " Fuck ." It's a hissed epithet, barely a breath. Barely heard.

"See? I…" I cup her face. "You're… you’re everything. Perfect and beautiful and delicate and lovely. The only reason I believe in God is there’s no way something so fucking incredibly gorgeous as you could be anything other than an intentional work of art. And I’m scared I’ll hurt you."

Her eyes are wide and shimmering. "Bear, I beg you—I'm begging you to hear what I'm saying right now. I mean it down to the bottom of my heart and soul. Okay?" She takes my hands in hers, squeezing them with all her strength. “I am not made of glass. I’m not. I’m strong . I know exactly how much power you have in these big, strong, rough hands. I’ve seen what they can do. They can create. They can destroy. But you know what? I know you won't. I know—I know as well as I know my own name—I know down to my soul that you cannot, will not ever, ever hurt me. Are you listening to me right now, my love?"

I nod. Swallow hard. Breath is on fire, body tense, shaking. "I'm listening."

“Take what I'm saying to heart. I'll repeat it as many times as you need until you understand. Until you trust it." She lifts on her toes to get closer to me. "What you just described? What you said you wanted to do?” She tugs me down by my beard roughly. Lips to my ear, whispering. “I want that .”

Shock leaves me stunned. "You…do?"

" God yes," she breathes. "I want it all. I want it sweet and slow. I want it hard and rough. I want it in between. I don’t know how I want it, I just know I want it." She digs her nails into my sides. "I…I need to confess something, and I’m scared to."

"Don't be."

I hear her swallow, see the scarlet flush of her cheeks. "When you're a little rough? When you pull my hair, or…or grab my—my ass and squeeze hard? I like it. I don't want to be hurt . But when you’re a little bit of rough?” She nibbles on her lower lip, teeth sinking into the crimson-painted flesh, her eyes wide and shimmering and scorching with undeniable arousal. "I don’t just want that, Bear. I freaking need it."

I hold her eyes with mine, breath coming in long, grating gusts, almost growls. My hands, having been loosely resting on the bell curve of her naked hips, slip down and around to the taut silk glory of her ass. I grip hard, squeezing and kneading the plump, juicy cheeks with enough force that I'm pretty sure she'll have fingerprints bruised into the flesh.

Instead of a cry of pain or a shift away, an erotic whimper falls from her parted lips, and she crushes herself against my body, and her fingernails claw into my chest, leaving crescent-shaped divots.

Encouraged and further aroused by the intense sensuality of her response, I'm emboldened to test her a bit more. See how much of my full, true, rabid, primal need she can handle.

It's a beast I've never given free rein, always kept mostly shackled, too fearful of my own power, my ability to accidentally cause pain, especially in the throes of release.

Now, after almost eleven years in prison and months of pent-up sexual desire, attraction, and need, I feel a very real, very manic, and almost insane level of need. For her.

I bend at the knees, curl my hands around her thighs below her ass and lift—it's an almost violent movement, yanking her airborne and against my body. Her cry of surprise is shrill, breathless, and eager, and her thighs wedge around my waist, heels hooking at my ass, tits at face level, arms resting on my shoulders, hands burying in my hair.

She slants her mouth across mine, a whimpering gasp accompanying the demanding, hungry kiss. I growl and thrust my tongue into her mouth, and our teeth knock together. I stagger forward a few steps, dizzied by the ferocious hunger I feel Noelle giving me. As rough as I am, she only seems to want more.

The door rattles in the frame as I slam her against it, pinning her to it with my body. Kiss her harder, deeper, tongue sweeping her mouth, my hands crushing into the sweet, generous curves of her ass. She moans low in her throat, knotting her hands in my hair, the sting at my scalp only fueling the flames of my arousal.

Pinning her to the door with my hips, I lean away and cover her tits with my hands, cupping and gripping—her head thunks against the door as a gasp rips out of her at my ungentle caress.

I yank the lingerie down past her shoulders, and her huge, lush, ivory tits spring free, bare and quivering, heaving and shaking and swaying with her frantic breaths. I scrape my palms over her nipples and then scoop the heavy globes into my hands and lift them to my mouth. Suckle a pert, thick, pink nipple into my mouth with my teeth, earning me a hiss of shocked pleasure. Her hands tighten in my hair and shove my face against her chest, and her hips gyrate against my belly, the knot of my towel a hard wedge between our bodies.

God, I need more of her.

Thoughtless, now, lost in the fiery haze of unbridled need, I grasp the edges of sapphire lace in my hands just below her gasp-shaking tits.

"Tell me I’m too rough," I plead, desperate to hear her deny my demand. "Tell me not to rip this goddamned thing off your body."

"No," she breathes. “ Fuck no. Never."

It's the curse that breaks the chains of my control.

With a snarl, I shred the lace apart with a savage yank, and the garment splits open down the middle, hanging open to the apex of her sex, hanging loose around her hips. A shrill gasp at my barbaric action makes those tits bounce hypnotically.

My eyes rake over her beauty, down to her sex. "Sweet little pussy is dripping wet," I growl, and who the fuck is this speaking this way?

"So wet for you," Noelle breathes, and she swipes her two middle fingers through her seam, whimpering at her touch, gathering her essence on her fingers, which she slips into my mouth. "Taste me, Bear."

A raspy, tight-throated moan escapes me at the sugar of her on my tongue. Who is she? Who is this wild woman, this unabashedly wanton, erotic creature in my arms?

Mine.

She's mine. This primal, demanding sexuality is only for me—pride and a savage, jealous possessiveness surges through me, demanding I claim her, mark her as mine.

I pivot, and she shrieks at the abrupt swing, giggling breathily and clinging to my neck, grinning madly and laughing as I march to the bed and fling her onto it from several feet away.

She flies airborne for a moment, lands heavily on the mattress, bounces once, curves jiggling and quivering, making my cock spasm. She lands sideways on the bed, and before she can gather her wits or move or even laugh again, I grab her ankles and drag her across the bed to the very edge. I tear the tattered remains of the lingerie off of her and sink to my knees and throw her legs over my shoulders and bury my face between her thighs, the tender silk of them against my face and neck. The pungent scent of her desire fills my nostrils, eliciting a hungry growl from me as I thrust my face into her pussy, tongue driving inside her, my mouth fusing to her lips.

Noelle cries out, spine arching off the bed as I devour her, all savage desperation and no technique. Within seconds, she's bucking and grinding against my mouth, so aroused she comes almost instantly, screaming and tearing at my hair, shoving me harder against her. She comes and comes, and before she can find the other side of her release, I slip two fingers into her slick tight channel, drawing an arching, grinding cry from her. I shove my fingers into her, deep, quick, hard, curling to find her sacred center, that place that makes her shatter. I suck her clit and drive my fingers in and out, and she quakes arrhythmically, so totally thrown into ripping, merciless peaks of orgasm that she can't even thrust, can only shake and shudder and ride it out.

With scream after scream, Noelle comes apart for me—again and again, endlessly, until she's sobbing and gasping and trembling, limp and helpless in my hands, her juices painting my lips and cheeks and chin and beard.

With sudden, desperate strength, she pushes me away from her sex, every inch of her body trembling. For a few fraught moments, she just lays on the bed, legs wrapped around my face, gasping, fighting for breath. dazed, shell-shocked eyes find mine, burning with carnal pleasure.

"Bear," she whispers, tears slipping down her cheeks. "My god."

I grin, proud and satisfied. "Noelle, my love."

Her heavy-lidded eyes dart and search, shimmering wet and blazing with a myriad of complex emotions.

"God, you're incredible," She breathes. "The way you make me come? Unreal."

Moving slowly, she levers upright, thighs uncurling, slipping down around my shoulders, finding the floor. She sits on the edge of the bed, toes pressing into the floor, heels lifted. She spreads her fingers wide over my pecs, and then her fingernails dig into the muscle with sudden force. She pushes me backward, and I trip as I find my feet, lurching upright. She surges after me, breasts smashing against my chest, fist in my beard yanking me down so she can crash her mouth on mine, one hand wrapping around the back of my neck so I can’t escape the kiss.

She curls her fingers against my belly inside the rolled and knotted towel. Her tongue sweeps into my mouth, and with a rough jerk, she tears the towel open, flinging it away. With another hard shove, she sends me slamming into the wall beside her door, lunging after me. Her hands wrap around my cock and plunge down, drawing a ragged groan from me.

She leaps, trusting me to catch her. I do, and she presses the wet seam of her pussy against my belly, clinging to my neck with one arm, the other reaching down between our bodies to grasp my erection. Thumb and forefinger circling my shaft, facing down toward the root, she caresses my length, mouth wide against mine as she gasps breathlessly, shrill with erotic tension.

"Bed," she demands. " Now ."

I march forward, clutching her ass and groaning as she greedily strokes my cock. I reach the mattress and bend forward, dropping her onto her back.

She bolts upright and off the bed, shoving me forward onto it. I hit the blankets and roll to my back, shifting upward to get my whole body on and oriented to the pillows. She crawls after me on all fours, heavy tits swaying, ass gyrating side to side with each prowling movement. Her explosion of glossy red hair falls over one shoulder in a coppery cascade, brilliant green eyes hungrily raking my body, halting and fixing on my straining erection.

Fists pressing into the bed at my hips, she runs her tongue up the length of my cock, pauses to grin up at me, and then takes me in her mouth to the back of her throat in a single long wet hot slide.

"Ohhhhhfuck," I growl. "Jesus."

My hips leave the bed, pushing me into her mouth, and she gives me another slow, tongue-swirling ride of her lips from tip to root, or as much of me as she can handle, at least.

With a loud pop of freed suction, my pre-cum-leaking head leaves her mouth, and she continues her seductive prowl up my body until she’s above me, hair drifting in sunfire waves around my face, breasts draped onto my chest, thighs framing my hips.

She slashes her lips across mine, gasping into my mouth as I grasp her ass with both hands, gripping hard enough that I know she'll have bruises later. I feel her shift her weight to brace on one arm, and she fits her fingers to her sex, circling her clit with swift, eager swipes.

She whimpers, lips quivering against my mouth as she touches herself, ass tensing as she flexes her hips into the rhythm of her swirling fingers.

A moment later, she cries out, head dropping down between her shoulders. She clutches my cock and guides me to the wet cleft of her pussy, pressing my tip to her lips.

Her eyes find mine, brows furrowed and eyes wide, mouth open as her orgasm shudders through her.

There's no warning.

She crushes her ass down toward my thighs, and the tight heat of her pussy wraps around my cock—-impossibly hot, dripping wet, slick and soft, and so fucking tight.

I shout, a guttural cry of ecstasy. I feel her still coming, shaking and clenching around me as she slides slowly down my shaft—taking me inch by inch.

All the way, until her ass settles against my hips.

When I’m fully buried inside her, she braces her hands on my chest, panting and whimpering. Her eyes pinch shut, her mouth working silently as she adjusts to me.

And then her eyes snap open, fix on mine with a fierce, ferocious, wild, erotic gleam.

"Finally," she breathes.

"Fuck," I gasp. "Noelle. Jesus."

She wriggles her hips to push lower, taking me deeper yet. "Don't hold back," she demands, fingers digging into my muscles. "Promise me you'll give me everything you've got—everything you are, my love. Promise me."

I rake my hands up the violin shape of her hips, waist, and chest, fingers diving into her hair to frame her face. "I swear," I growl.

She takes my mouth in a savage kiss, ending with my lower lip seized in her teeth. "Then show me."