29. Teddy
Teddy
T he rumble of my bike sends a thrill through me. I had it modified right after I got out of the hospital, but I haven’t ridden since then. Lottie’s idea about heading down to Charlotte made me want to give riding another chance.
I slowly drive around my yard, getting a feel for being on the bike again. Everything comes back in seconds, and I take off to the grocery store. I grab what I need before heading over to Lottie’s house. I told her I wanted to take her somewhere this afternoon since the weather was perfect.
The smile that greets me when I pull into her driveway has a matching one growing on my face. She stands from the front step of her two-story cottage and bounds over to where I’ve stopped.
“Have I ever told you how hot you look on your bike?” Lottie fans her face dramatically.
I pull my helmet off my head while I roll my eyes, but I can’t help the laugh that pops out. “You’re ridiculous.”
“You got a helmet for both of us this time?” She raises an eyebrow at me .
I pull one from my saddle bag. “I had a feeling you’d flat-out refuse if I didn’t.”
“You’d be right about that. I’m not that baby eighteen-year-old trying to impress you anymore.”
“You don’t want to impress me anymore, Sparkles?”
She smirks. “Oh, I do. I just have other ways of going about it now.”
My dick perks up at the idea. “I think I need a demonstration.”
“Maybe later, if you play your cards right.”
I reach to snag her hip and pull her into me.
Her lush mouth has me groaning as her tongue teases my lips.
Her confidence has grown by leaps and bounds since the first time she kissed me, and it’s starting to get harder and harder to remember she’s still innocent when it comes to sex.
All I want to do is throw her over my bike and fuck her so hard she screams.
I pull away from her to stop those thoughts in their tracks. “Come on, temptress. I have somewhere I want to take you.”
She pulls her smaller helmet down over her silky brown hair and swings her leg over the back of my bike. There’s no hesitation when she wraps her arms around me, and I revel in the press of her soft curves against my back. It’s nice not feeling like the biggest fucking pervert alive this time.
Her hands roam my chest as we ride through town. When one starts to dip down to my crotch, I quickly grab it before she can get too far. Naughty girl. I press it into my stomach to silently tell her to keep it up where it’s not distracting.
I finally pull into the field where Lottie took me the first day we met. A cocoon of silence greets us after I turn the bike off. My shoulders drop at the peace surrounding us, and I tap Lottie’s hands to prompt her to get off the bike first.
She tightens her arms around my waist before letting go. I follow suit, grabbing the groceries and blanket from the second saddlebag. We work together to set up the picnic I brought. It’s not as well-organized as Lottie’s was, but it’s got all her favorite snacks and a bottle of wine.
Lottie’s smile is bright as she takes in the whole scene. “This is amazing, Teddy.”
“I thought I could recreate the day we first met, only without the predatory atmosphere this time.”
She drops her head back in a laugh. “There was nothing predatory about that day. In fact, I think I was the one thinking all the dirty thoughts.”
I give her a look. “You’re telling me my sweet, innocent, sparkly girl was imagining me ripping that tiny T-shirt off you and turning you into a very dirty girl instead?”
Lottie’s cheeks turn beet red. She fans her face. “Okay, no. I wasn’t thinking that exactly, but I am now.”
I laugh. Reaching for one of the crackers, I add cheese and meat on top before lifting it to Lottie’s mouth to feed her.
Her amber eyes are burning with desire, but I do my best to ignore it.
I didn’t bring her out here just to fuck her, though I’m not opposed to the idea.
I wanted to share a private moment with her without the whole town watching us.
Every time we’ve gone out, even just to get ice cream at Jones’s, I notice everyone staring at us. I know they’re wondering what Lottie is doing with a loser like me. She’s the golden girl of Sonoma. She deserves to date someone without a past like mine.
“You want to know what I was really thinking that day?” Lottie asks.
I lean down on my elbow, my entire focus on her gorgeous face. “Sure.”
“What is this hot-as-hell man doing with a girl like me? I thought for sure you’d walk away when I made it clear I wasn’t going to sleep with you.
When you didn’t, I couldn’t figure out why you’d want to spend time with a goody-two-shoes when you could’ve had any woman you looked at.
” Lottie looks down at her fingers, twisting them together in different configurations.
“You want to know what I was thinking? What I still wonder sometimes?”
Her head lifts, vulnerability shining in her eyes as she nods.
“What the fuck is this perfect-as-hell woman doing with a trailer-trash guy like me?”
She frowns at me. “You’re not trailer trash.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I don’t think anyone is trash, whether they live in a trailer or not.”
A sardonic smirk tilts the corner of my mouth. “I’m the son of an alcoholic single mother. I barely passed high school to graduate, and now I live in a rundown house without any plans to find anything better.”
Lottie’s face falls into a frown. “And you’re a decorated Marine who served this country with more bravery and strength than most people will ever have in their lifetime.
You’re incredibly kind to every single person you meet, whether you want to talk to them or not, and you’re more intelligent than you give yourself credit for.
You’d never have made it as far up in the military as you did if you weren’t smart. ”
I stare in awe at this fierce woman as she breathes heavily from defending me. “No one has ever stood up for me like that.”
“And I will continue to do so when anyone—yourself included—ever says something shitty about you.”
I sit up to open the bottle of wine. I need something to do in the face of Lottie’s belief in me. She barely knows me, yet she’s willing to fight on my behalf, regardless. If I wasn’ t already wondering if I was falling in love with her, this moment solidified it.
I hand her a paper cup filled with the red wine she likes.
“Is your mom the reason you don’t drink?”
I raise an eyebrow at her.
She shrugs. “I wasn’t sure at first if it was just a preference thing until dinner with Mom and Dad. I heard you tell my dad you don’t drink when he offered you a beer.”
“You’re too observant for your own good, you know?” I mutter.
Lottie chuckles. “I know. My parents have been telling me that since I was a kid. They had to give me the birds and the bees talk when I was far too young to fully understand. I’d overheard them having sex one night, and the next morning I asked why Mom was screaming.”
I bust out laughing. “All I can picture is your mom trying to be serious and your dad sitting there, smugly embarrassed.”
“You’re not far off.” Lottie looks at me with an openness that tells me I could get away with changing the subject if I wanted, but oddly enough, I don’t.
I’ve never opened up to anyone about my past. I don’t like thinking about it, so I don’t.
After the way Lottie defended me, I have no doubt I could tell her anything, and she won’t judge me for it.
But I’m not ready to tell her everything.
“My mom had me when she was seventeen. Even then, she was addicted to alcohol. I don’t know the details because I was too little and we never talked about it, but I think my grandad managed to get her to stop drinking while she was pregnant with me.
I wasn’t born with any defects, regardless.
I do know Grandad raised me until I was about five.
Mom always told me he kicked us out and didn’t want anything to do with us, but when I got older, I realized it was likely because my mom was using him for his money.
I never understood why she took me with her, though.
Wouldn’t it have been easier on her to leave me with him? ”
“I don’t know your mom, but sometimes when people are hurting, they hurt others to feel like they’re not alone. Maybe she thought taking you would hurt your grandad the most.”
I shrug. “Sounds about right. She was great at manipulating a situation to get what she wanted. It didn’t matter who she hurt in the process.”
Lottie moves, pressing on my shoulder to roll me onto my back. Then she drapes herself across my chest, her chin resting on the back of her hand. I didn’t know I needed the comfort of her body on mine. It brings me back from the memories of hiding in my closet when Mom was at her worst.
I shake the thought away. I can’t talk about that with Lottie. Not yet.
“Tell me something you loved when you were a kid,” Lottie says quietly.
It takes me a second to remember, but when I do, I smile.
“One night, when I was about twelve, Mom came and jumped on my bed. She hadn’t been drinking as much that day, so her eyes were brighter than I’d seen them in a while.
She held up a flyer for the county fair that had come to town.
It was the first and last night I spent with my mom where we were more like best friends goofing around. ”
“I love going to our county fair. My parents used to take us every year when I was little. Now we all meet up there to spend the evening together. The lights and happy squeals of families spending time together will always make me smile.”
She tells me about the year they lost Caroline in the mirror maze because she decided to sit down instead of finding her way out.
I have no idea how Lottie knew I needed to think about something else.
I was getting close to falling into the trap of dark memories that like to take hold, leaving me covered in the filth of my past.
Laughing at Lottie’s stories gives me time to shove the darkness back into the box I usually keep locked down.
“Oh, and one time, Caro managed to out a bully when she caught him pushing one of her classmates out of their wheelchair. With the permission of her friend, she plastered pictures of the bully tipping the chair over on every locker and window in our school. I have no idea how she got the footage. We only had security cameras in the main areas of our high school.”
“Why does it not surprise me that Caroline would have no qualms about putting a bully in his place? How did she manage that?”
“That’s the mystery of my little sister.
She either never got caught or was somehow able to avoid the consequences.
I think our teachers saw her as a silent vigilante for the kids who didn’t have anyone to stick up for them.
Nobody wanted to face the wrath of Caroline Jackson.
I might still have a picture from back then on my phone.
Let me look.” She sits up to scroll through her photos.
“You have an amazing family. You know that, right?”
Lottie looks up at me, her face softening. “Yeah, I do. I’ll happily share them with you. I can’t wait for you to meet the whole group. My grandparents, too. They’re in their eighties and travel around in an RV. They’ve become major hippies.”
Before I can respond, Lottie’s face drops.
“What is it?”
“I just got the weirdest text.” She turns the phone around to show me.
Unknown
Stop investigating Crystal’s death, or you’ll regret it.