Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
“Nice,” Xander said, slapping his punching mitts together. He wiped the sweat off his brow with his forearm and lifted his chin at Tash. “Just so you know, after the last couple combos, you were lowering your guard a little.”
Tash’s right eyebrow arched, and she crossed her gloved hands over her chest.
He held up his hands. “I said a little. Nothing to kick my ass for, just something to keep an eye on.”
She rolled her eyes as she used her teeth to loosen the strap on her right sparring glove. “What’s on the docket for today?”
“Not much. Frazier wants me to sit in on a potential client meeting. A-list celebrity has a stalker, and she isn’t happy with her current security team. But that’s not until noon. What are you up to?”
“It’s a rare Saturday off,” Tash said, sitting on the bench and rolling her neck side to side. “Wilson and I are gonna swing into town and grab some breakfast before I head back to Seattle. Want to join?”
For a moment, he simply stared at her. Did he want to tell her? “Uh . . .”
That damn eyebrow of Tash’s arched again. “Uh . . .?”
Act. Casual.
“I’m picking up Freya at eight and giving her a ride to work,” he said, his words coming out in a rush.
“You know, since her car’s in the shop after all that shit yesterday.
She lives downtown, and the resort hasn’t figured out the rental car yet.
” Stop. Fucking. Talking! He cleared his throat. “So maybe next time.”
For a full ten seconds, Tash simply stared at him. It took everything he had to not squirm. Holy shit, he’d forgotten how intense the woman could be.
Then Tash laughed. Not a quiet, reserved chuckle. No. It was loud, boisterous, people-were-starting-to-stare laughter.
Fucking hell.
He scrubbed his hand over his face and heaved out a sigh. “For fuck’s sake, Tash, it’s no big deal.”
“Oh, I beg to differ, my friend.” The irritating woman made a production of swiping away a tear. “You think if I mentioned your plans to Wilson, he’d think it was a big deal?”
She wouldn’t dare. He pressed his lips together and shot her his best glare. The last thing he needed was Wilson giving him shit.
Tash snickered, pointing her finger at him. “Exactly.”
He frowned. “Didn’t you say yesterday that you were going to butt out?”
“Yeah, but I lied. Plus, that was before I met her.” She tossed her gloves into her gym bag and stood, slinging her bag over her shoulder. “For what it’s worth, she seems nice.”
“Funny you should say that,” he replied as he tossed his punching mitts into his bag. “Because that’s exactly what Freya said about you and Esme. That the two of you were nice and sweet.”
He grinned when Tash’s face scrunched in offense.
“Well, I suppose she may not be the brightest bulb,” Tash grumbled. “But she’s nice. So there’s that.”
“You’re so full of shit.” Chuckling, he shook his head, knocking his shoulder into hers. “But seriously, it’s no big deal. Freya needed a ride. I have the morning off and am free to take her.”
“And you say I’m the one who’s full of shit? Please.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” And he didn’t. Not really.
He didn’t know why the thought of picking up Freya in—he glanced at his watch—forty-five minutes had him on edge.
Not “on edge” in a bad way. However, he wouldn’t exactly say it was in a good way either.
It was more unfamiliar than anything. Whatever the feeling coursing through him was, it leaned more toward nervous and restless than warm and fuzzy.
The thought had him nearly halting mid stride. Nervous? Restless? He sure as hell couldn’t remember the last time he’d been either over a woman. But he undoubtedly was.
From the moment he’d left her doorstep last night, he hadn’t been able to get Freya out of his mind.
The way she’d run her fingers through his hair at the salon.
How strong she’d been with the chaos of her car getting vandalized.
Their dinner together. Holding her hand when he’d walked her home.
And yeah, that mind-blowing kiss that was still on repeat in his mind.
It had been that good. Hell, the entire time he’d spent with her had been that good.
At least it had been for him. Would she have second thoughts when she saw him this morning? Holy shit, what if that kiss they’d shared had done nothing for her? What if—
“Sure you do. You were actually normal for once.”
Tash’s words pulled him back to their conversation, and he frowned, glancing at her. “What are you talking about? I’m always normal.”
“Oh God, you don’t even know, do you?” She let out a dramatic, long-suffering sigh.
Trepidation stirred in his gut, and his worry about what Freya had thought of their date was momentarily shelved. “Apparently not, but I’m sure you’ll enlighten me.”
She stopped and faced him.
The trepidation grew. Tash was one of his best friends, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear what she had to say.
“You’re an absolute great guy, Xan.”
He cringed. “Shit. I hear a but coming.”
The look she gave him was one you’d give to an old, arthritic dog—a look full of sympathy, sadness, and a touch of pity.
“We’ve known each other forever, and I’ve seen firsthand how you go into pick-up-a-chick-to-bang mode.
I’ll give it to you that it’s been highly effective for you.
I mean, whenever I’ve seen you morph into that guy”—Xander’s eyes narrowed when she air-quoted the last two words—“you’ve never failed.
However, as someone who knows you and cares about you and has zero interest in you getting into my pants, seeing you act like that when I know you’re a stand-up guy is gross and sleezy. ”
Surprise had him rearing back. “What the hell, Tash? I don’t have a pick-up-a-chick-to-bang mode.”
Wait, did he?
She scoffed. “You do. Yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve witnessed you deploy it, but seriously, when was the last time you took a woman out to dinner and stuck around the next day?”
He glanced around the crowded gym, leaned closer to Tash, and dropped his voice. “Not that it’s your business, but I did not sleep with Freya last night.” They’d only shared the hottest kiss of his damn life.
Tash patted his chest. “That’s exactly my point. If you take a woman out, you’re banging her. Then you’re done. Am I wrong?”
Christ, when she put it that way, he sounded exactly like she’d described: gross and sleezy.
“Look, I’m not judging, Xan. You know I’m a big fan of casual relationships and mutually agreed upon hookups. My point is that you weren’t like that with Freya last night. You were . . . you. You weren’t doing that”—her nose scrunched, and she waved her hand at his face—“schtick you guys all do.”
He shook his head. Did he really act like that when he went out to pick up a woman for the night? He internally winced. The fact that he’d mentally phrased it as pick up a woman for the night probably said it all.
“I mean, Carmichael’s the same,” Tash said. “He’s like the younger version of you.”
Xander groaned. “Holy shit, please don’t compare me to him.”
“Wilson . . .” Tash shook her head and chuckled, continuing as if he hadn’t spoken.
“Well, Wilson just avoids people in general, so I don’t have to witness him picking up women or anything.
Trust me on this one. Being yourself is a good thing.
When you weren’t being all douchebaggy last night, it was surprising for sure, but it was also really nice to see.
From what I saw, Freya wasn’t running away screaming or kneeing you in the balls. Want my advice?”
He winced. “Pretty sure you’re going to give it to me whether I want it or not.”
“You know me well, friend.” She grinned, crossing her arms over her chest and eyeing him up and down like he was some new mission to figure out.
“Freya doesn’t fall into your one-night-stand category, and you’re going out of your way to pick her up and take her to work on your day off.
I’m also assuming you’re going to do something nice like pick up her favorite coffee on the way to get her. Correct?”
He frowned and shot Tash his most ferocious glare. It was that or stare at her dumbfounded. It was irritating when your friends knew you so damn well.
She ignored his glare and arched an eyebrow. Because that’s how Tash rolled. “Am I correct?”
“Fine. I was going to swing by and get coffee for both of us. It’s not a big deal though. Everyone needs coffee to start their damn day.” He huffed out a sigh. “Is that supposed advice you’re gonna give me in there somewhere?”
She rolled her eyes. “My advice is for you to stop thinking you aren’t good enough for her. For once, allow yourself to like her.”
He froze. What the fu—
Tash’s eyebrow arched higher, silently daring him to argue with her. He couldn’t, though, because he wasn’t good enough for Freya.
“She obviously likes you, Xander. For once, just go for it. Be the good guy that you are and see where it takes you. Hell, look at Frazier. He shot his damn shot and is now all blissed up with B.” She shrugged. “You never know. You could have something like that.”
“I’m not sure that’s what I want.”
He was happy for Frazier and Bean. His friends were indeed blissfully happy, but he wasn’t sure it was possible for him to have something like that. Especially not with Freya.
They were so different. She was sweet and kind. Him, on the other hand? He was a good friend but was shit at relationships. He’d had zero success as a boyfriend, and up until this point, that hadn’t bothered him.
On top of that, Freya came from a big family. He could tell her brothers annoyed her, but when she spoke about them, he saw the warmth in her gaze. She not only loved them, but she liked them too. He had nothing to offer on that front.
Yes, they had insane chemistry, but that wasn’t something to base a relationship on. The fire between them would inevitably burn out.
“Liar.” Tash’s finger jabbed him in the chest. “You want that. You just don’t think you deserve it.”
The muscle in his jaw twitched. It was the only indication she’d hit the nail on the head, but damn if he’d admit it out loud. “Yeah, well, what about you?”
She made a face. “I don’t do relationships. You know that.”
He sighed. “Neither do I, T.”
“Yeah, but you’ve actually got a shot at one. A good one.” She shrugged. “You should take it. If not for you, then for the rest of us dumbasses at Hudson Security.”
He frowned.
Her eyes rolled. “You have to admit that we’re an emotionally stunted lot. But, Xan, you’re the best of us. If you can’t have a good relationship, then there’s no way in hell the rest of us can either. And that’s fucking depressing.”
He ran his hand over his jaw, shaking his head. “Shit, T. No pressure or anything.”
She chuckled as Wilson approached, a gym bag slung over his shoulder. “You fuckers done deep-talking yet?” He lifted his chin at Xander. “You coming to breakfast with us?”
He shook his head. “Nah, I’ve got plans.”
“Catch you later then,” Wilson replied—well, more like grunted—before he headed toward the exit.
“Look, Xan, I know we’ve all seen too much, done too much . . . but at the heart of it, you’re a good guy. Don’t forget that.” Tash slapped him on the shoulder. “Besides, we do the hard shit, remember? Don’t wimp out now.”
He let out a breath. They did do the hard shit.
They took on dangerous assignments to not only protect but also rescue clients.
He’d lost track of how many times he’d been shot at, and he’d been injured countless times.
As Tash had said, he’d done too much and seen too much.
They all had. But did he have the courage to try and pursue something he knew nothing about?
With a woman who was starting to matter more to him with each minute he spent with her?
“Thanks, Tash,” he said as she turned toward the exit.
“Stop overthinking things,” she called over her shoulder. “Call me later. I want a sitrep.”