Chapter 23 #2
He broke out a grin I’d begun to recognize as a distraction technique. “This is my place. You trying to run me out of town, Spitfire?”
In response, I gave him my you’re wasting your time, buddy hard stare. “Joz.”
His smile fell, but he held my gaze. “No, I’m not going to run. Although, I’ll be honest, I thought you would. Once I told you everything, I mean.”
“Why would you think that?”
“Because.” One shoulder popped. “Doesn’t exactly show me in a glowing light. I’ve got more baggage than Heathrow on a bank holiday weekend getaway. Who’d want to attach themselves to that?”
I moved my hand from his chest and cupped his cheek. “Me. And you want to know why?”
“I don’t know. Do I?”
For a man who owned the stage, exuding the kind of confidence that, if bottled, would make billions, he sounded so hesitant that it broke my heart a little bit.
“Our flaws are what make us interesting, Joz. Who wants perfection? Not me. It’s as fake as a Grammy smile when you’re on the losing side.”
“Yeah, but there are flaws and then there’s a man who’s responsible for robbing a little boy of his mother.”
I sighed. “You won’t believe me when I say this because you’re not ready to hear it, and for all I know you’ll never be ready, but Caroline was responsible for her actions.
Not you. Blackmailing someone into sticking around is a horrible thing to do.
Caroline made a terrible decision in that moment—one that had lasting consequences for you, her mom, and her son, but that doesn’t make what she did to try to make you stay with her any less abhorrent.
One day, I hope you’ll see that and stop blaming yourself and start seeing the goodness in yourself.
The man who sticks around to make sure her son wants for nothing and that her mother has the support she needs.
And all for a boy you didn’t even know existed before his mother died. ”
His expression was filled with doubt, but I swore I saw a flicker of something in his eyes. A strand of truth hitting its mark. I grabbed onto it like a life raft in the middle of a storm and doubled down.
“You can’t coerce someone into loving you, yet that’s what Caroline tried to do.
You’d already gone above and beyond, staying with her long after the relationship had died, even when you had your own addiction problems to deal with.
And look what you did after she passed away?
You checked yourself into rehab and came out the other side a different person.
A man who her son and mother can rely on.
Don’t you see the good in that? The good in you?
I wouldn’t be here if I thought you were an asshole.
I’ve dated enough of those, which is why you’re the first man I’ve been with in a while.
I don’t need the hassle. But you… you’re not hassle. You’re fucking epic.”
The briefest of smiles tweaked his lips. “You’re good for a man’s ego, Spitfire.”
“Don’t spend your life drowning in guilt.
If Caroline taught you anything it’s that life is brief and precious.
You didn’t buy her those drugs and make her take them.
She did that, and it’s dreadfully sad. I wish for both your sakes she’d reached out to a professional for help, but she didn’t.
That doesn’t mean you have to spend the rest of your life living in torment. ”
“Yeah.” His voice was rough as gravel. He squeezed my hand. “I hear you. I’m not there yet, but I want you to know that I’ve heard everything you’ve said.”
“That’s all I can ask for.” I snuggled back into his side. “Will you come back to New York and finish the album?”
“Yeah. I’m sorry I walked out. That wasn’t professional of me or fair on you. Besides, how can I keep an eye on one cocky little fucker I’m starting to regret bringing into your life if I’m on the other side of an ocean?”
Ah. With everything that’d happened since I got on a plane to come here, I’d forgotten about the altercation with Presley.
“What? Not coming to his defense?” Joz chuckled, his fingers tracing circles on my upper arm. “I expected you to tell me I’m being too harsh.”
Should I keep it from him? No. That was the wrong call. He’d been honest with me, so I owed it to be honest with him.
“Presley tried to kiss me.”
Joz’s hand stilled. “He fucking what?” His voice might have sounded steady, but it was loaded with menace.
“It’s fine. I dealt with it. I just wanted you to know.”
He sat up in bed, every muscle on show pulled tight, the veins of his forearm protruding even more than they usually did. “It is not fucking fine. I knew that little shit had a crush on you, but I never expected him to actually act on it.”
I sat up, too. “I didn’t mean him trying to kiss me was fine. It isn’t, but he won’t try it again.”
“How do you know?”
“I drew a firm line in the sand, and he gets it. Look, he’s young and living away from his family.
He’s been thrust into the spotlight and misread my enthusiasm and support for something more because he’s too inexperienced to see it for what it was.
I’ve put him straight, and that will be the end of it. ”
A muscle danced in his cheek, his lips thin, his expression thunderous. “Right.”
Ah, the loaded “right”, which actually meant “wrong.”
“Joz, leave it. I’m perfectly capable of handling Presley, and I have. I’m handing him off to another member of my team. I don’t intend to be alone in his company again.”
“I see.” He didn’t see. He was lost in that alpha male fog where evolution went to die.
“Let me ask you something.”
“Go on.”
“Do you think I’m a strong woman?”
“Yes.” No hesitation. Good. He got to keep his manhood intact for a little while longer.
“A capable woman?”
“Extremely.”
“Okay, so you agree I’m strong and I’m capable, but you also think I need a man to rescue me from a situation I’ve told you is already dealt with. Am I reading that correctly?”
A muscle flickered in his jaw. “No, I don’t think you need a man to rescue you. Me telling Presley to keep his filthy fucking hands off you doesn’t mean I’m rescuing you.”
Men. They were an irritating species at times. If I didn’t like dick so much, I’d choose a woman every time. Far less complicated.
“But it weakens me. It weakens my stance and the point I made to Presley. It’s typical male behavior, and I hoped for better from you.”
A faint redness inched over his cheekbones. “Ouch. You don’t pull your punches, Spitfire.”
“No, I don’t. So, please, leave it. You’re bound to come into contact with him at the studio, and when you do, I want you to smile, be nice, and act like the bigger man. Can you do that?”
One of his shoulders popped up. “I guess.”
“Good.” I cuddled into his side and laid my head on his chest. “Now I won’t have to murder you, which would be very inconvenient.”
He chuckled, his body relaxing. Thank God.
“Besides,” I continued. “If I did have to murder you, then I’d have to find a new date for my mother’s sixty-fifth birthday party a week from Saturday, and that would be a pain in the ass at such short notice.”
Stiff Joz made a return, and not the fun kind of stiff I liked to play with. “You want me to come to your mother’s birthday party?”
I looked up at him. “Yes. Is that a problem?”
“No.”
“Did you know you have a habit of making no sound like yes?”
He scratched behind his ear. “Sounds like a three or four-month dating kind of thing.”
“Oh, stop. It’s a party, not an ambush. My family are the coolest people on the planet. Cooler than you.”
“Lies.”
I prodded him between his ribs. “Please come. You’ll have fun, I promise. I’ll bring an array of vibrators if that makes the medicine go down a little easier.”
He flipped me until I was beneath him, then settled between my legs. “Now, that’s an invitation I can’t say no to.”