Chapter 29
Rosabel La Rouge
I didn’t want to freak him out. I saw him moving his fingers first, then raising his hand to his face slowly, eyes closed. Because of mine, I didn’t want to freak him out, and so I thought about getting up and moving away from the bed, to give him some time to adjust to the sight of me.
Goddess, for a moment I wished none of it had happened. I wished I could just go back to the old me. I wished that I had gone back to the old me and I just didn’t know it yet because I was still too cowardly to look in the mirror.
Yes, moving away from him seemed like a good idea at first, except I remembered when I was in his shoes—unconscious—and when he was in mine—bonded to the Delaetus Army. I remembered how he, too, had stayed away from me when I woke up at the safe house. He’d figured I would need some space, but I hadn’t. Goddess, no, I hadn’t needed space from him. Not ever in my life.
So, I forced myself to sit still on the edge of the bed and wait for him to open his eyes. My breath was held and my heartbeat erratic, and then I saw the colors on him, the pink on his cheeks and all the shades of brown and black in his eyes.
All of them, just like before.
Then those eyes fell on me.
Taland was shocked to say the least, as shocked as I had been when I first saw him in that safe house. He sat up slowly, watching me like a hawk, taking in every little detail of my face, and finally settling on my eyes again.
Tears slid down my cheeks and I hardly even noticed. I waited and waited, stood still until he reached out his hand for my face, touched a tear with his fingertip.
Smiled.
“It worked.”
He sounded like him. He looked like him. He smiled like him.
My arms were around his neck and I was on top of him the next second, shaking as I cried and laughed at the same time, probably made it close to impossible for him to breathe. And Taland held me to his chest, too, squeezed me until my ribs hurt, but who cared? We were laughing and we were crying and we were alive together.
I don’t know a thing closer to impossible than this.
We took our time, probably wrestled each other on the bed for a few minutes. He was naked and mostly covered in blood still, but neither of us minded. He could take a shower later. Right now, we needed to just laugh together and keep touching and hugging until reality no longer felt like a dream.
So, we did.
“How loud?” Taland asked, looking at the soldiers stationed in each corner of the room, especially at Lind who was near the bathroom door we’d just come out of. Taland had showered while I’d watched, had washed all the blood and dirt off his skin, and now he was wrapped up in towels and walking around the room, slowly but surely. He wasn’t even close to losing his balance, though he was weak. He still needed to eat, and I’d saved him plenty of food on that tray.
“Not at all,” I said, watching him closely still, part of me replaying how that curse had cut at his skin. I kept expecting him to fall on the floor again, bleeding, even though I knew he wouldn’t.
Taland turned to me, surprised. “They’re not pleading?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head, unable to keep that small smile off my face. “Will you sit with me and eat? I’ll tell you everything.”
He reached for my hand, and when I took it, he brought it to his lips and kissed my knuckles. “Lead the way, sweetness.”
We sat on the bed and I put the tray between us just like he’d done the last time we’d been in my room. Before this shitshow began.
He ate slowly while I told him what I knew how to tell him. About how he’d allowed me to carry the curse, how it had felt like we were one and the same wherever that dark place the curse had taken me to was.
How I’d heard the souls of the soldiers, had seen their lights, how I’d spoken to them. How they’d dragged me down, then let me go.
“I thought it would release them,” Taland said, his eyes darkening just like they used to before. I’d missed the way he looked with colors in his eyes, but now I missed how he’d looked without colors, too.
And that gave me a sense of calm. Made me not want to shy away when he looked at me. Because maybe he didn’t mind my eyes exactly like I hadn’t minded his. Maybe he, too, thought white eyes could be beautiful.
“So did I. I thought releasing them was what was killing you.”
He swallowed a piece of meat, looking down at his lap. “There is no way out. No way out of the curse. Releasing them means destroying them permanently. Undoing them.”
“It does,” I said. “I felt it.”
He looked at me. “How many are left?”
“Sixty-one,” I reluctantly said. “The rest…”
The rest were already gone. We didn’t know exactly what happened beyond death, but we did know that our souls moved on, that they existed—whether in a different place or realm, or in a different shape—didn’t matter. Our souls existed, and that had always been my greatest consolation because I could handle life knowing that my parents were still somewhere. That I would still be somewhere when I died. It made life worth living. It made waking up in the morning make sense. It made trying make sense.
But to think that I would be completely destroyed after this was over… why bother ?
“Fifty-nine soldiers,” said Taland, shaking his head. “I should have known better.”
“We all should have known better—starting with the Council. Don’t you dare blame yourself. You were trying to set them free.” Knowing him, guilt would be the first thing he’d feel, and guilt just might be the most dangerous feeling in the world. A silent killer. Merciless.
He smiled bitterly. “And instead ended up giving them to you .”
“You did. We survived, Taland. And now we figure out how to set them free for real,” I said, reaching out for his hand. He took mine on his lap and inspected my fingers.
“What if we can’t?”
“There are ways. It’s magic—there are always other ways.” This I believed in with my whole heart. “We won’t rest until we find one that works.”
“Had anybody else said that to me, I wouldn’t have believed them—but you?” He pulled me by the arm, and I leaned over the tray on the bed to kiss him. “My stubborn little criminal. You, I believe.”
I grinned. “Smart guy.”
“Just lucky.” He kissed me again.
“So, now what?” I asked when I sat back again and urged him to keep eating.
“Now, we go to Headquarters to see my brothers, I guess. Understand what they are up to. See what their plans are. Tell them ours.”
I arched a brow. “We have plans?”
“We do. To figure out ways to release these soldiers once and for all. To make sure the world will always remember their sacrifices. And we’re going to help them build this new world, too. It’s only fair, don’t you think?”
Shivers rushed down my back. That definitely sounded like something I’d want to do.
“With great power comes great responsibility,” I whispered, looking at the soldiers standing by the walls, their eyes closed at my request.
“True,” Taland said.
But… “What if I fuck it up?” Because these soldiers were people. It wasn’t just my life on the line, or Taland’s—it was their souls.
“Sweetness, there’s a reason why they chose to submit to you willingly. A reason why they’re not screaming in your head right now,” Taland said. “They see beyond the physical, deep inside of us, too, and they chose to trust you.”
It all sounded amazing, and I thought I might even believe it one day, but right now…
“Can you just tell me that you’ll be there to stop me whenever I want to fuck it up?”
Taland laughed. I probably said it a thousand times, and I’m going to say it a thousand more—I absolutely adored his laugh. It was perfect, genuine, and it made me smile and feel like I was on top of the world no matter the circumstances. Apparently, it even worked if I tied my soul to dead men and swore to work for the rest of my life to set them free. It worked even when my eyes turned completely white, too.
“Every second of every day. I’ll be right there with you forever,” he said and pushed the tray back on the bed so he could drag himself closer to me, pick me up and sit me on his lap.
“Through summer breezes,” I whispered, wrapping my arms around his neck, touching my lips to his.
“Through fucking hurricanes,” he promised.
And then we kissed.