Chapter 5
five
GRAY
A week after Ciar ripped her heart out, Gray was hunkered over a toilet seat, puking her guts out and wishing she could die right alongside him.
She’d caught some horrific bug that, unfortunately, had her spewing from both ends. Her mom sent a doctor round to give her enough nausea meds to keep shit in, literally, so Gray could hop on a plane and fly to Scotland and let her mom take care of her.
Moms knew just how to rub a sick child’s back or scratch their scalp. Gray didn’t care that she was twenty—a month from twenty-one—Moms could fix everything.
She was snuggled up in her childhood bedroom on the second day of her convalescence, when her mom came in with a tray of Lipton’s unsweetened iced tea. A beverage her Oklahoma-born mother refused to give up when she moved to Scotland.
She tossed a few decorative pillows from the chair next to the bed and made herself comfortable.
“Thanks, Mom,” she said as she took the proffered red Solo cup of tea—another favored Oklahoma thing.
Her mom propped her feet on Gray’s bed before asking, “Are you and Ciar a thing?”
Gray decorated her nutmeg and cream-colored bedspread with Lipton’s best thanks to her mom’s zinger of a question.
“What the hell?” She asked while using an embroidered tea towel to dab up the mess. “Why would you ask me that?”
“Are you under the impression that your mother is ignorant, young lady, because I can assure you that I am not. You’ve had a crush on that boy forever, and yes, I’m aware Ciar Murphy is far from a boy, but still, he’s the only man you’ve ever made moon eyes over, and he did something that night at dinner to hurt you.
“Your father saw it, and trust me when I say, I’ve had to distract him with a lot of sexual favors so that he didn’t fly back to Dublin and beat the shit out of Ciar.”
Gray felt her gorge rise even though she was well past whatever flu had ravaged her body. “Never. Never, never, never, speak to me of sexual favors and Dad again.”
Her mom snorted in amusement. “Fine, Miss Priss, but the fact remains, Ciar did something to hurt you. I don’t like it, and your father wants to burn Dublin to the ground to fix it. Please give me something.”
Gray aggressively rubbed her eyes, ending with her fingertips pressing her lids together.
Her parents were two of the best people she’d ever known.
She hated that she was causing them concern.
She and her friends were meant to fly to Colorado tomorrow morning.
Gray was flying back to Dublin that afternoon, or she’d never have time to pack, and she didn’t want to leave with her folks worrying.
“Ciar didn’t do anything wrong. Not really.”
“I’m going to need more than that, sweetheart,” her mom urged.
“I thought he and I…Jesus, I thought he and I might make a go of…something. He texted me. I texted him. We kissed. One night.” Gray glanced at her mother’s face to see how she took that news. She only found her nodding in understanding.
Gray felt her body relax, and the rest poured out like water. “He told me he had a business meeting. He asked me to go out the following day. He texted me while I was eating with you and Dad. And then…well, you saw that part.”
Her mom didn’t speak for a moment, not a woman to react without processing.
“My first reaction is to say, fuck him and the dumb bitch he was with. My more analytical side forces me to admit that Ciar looked miserable. He was not reciprocating that snotty woman’s advances.
I guess the big question is, did he explain himself? Did he ask to explain himself?”
Gray took a deep breath, not wanting to discuss Ciar but needing her mother’s opinion more. “He’s asked. Multiple times.”
“And,” she started hesitantly, “you chose not to let him?”
Her mom didn’t take an accusatory tone, but Gray’s hackles went up. “Like you did when you found out Dad was married to Aileen while he dated you?” The minute the words left her mouth, she regretted them.
“I’m sorry, Mom. Nothing about your situation was similar to mine.”
When her parents started dating, her dad hadn’t divulged that he had a wife and child at home.
It appeared much worse than it was. Her dad had married Aileen to help her out of a tough situation because her brother was his best friend, and Coll and Aileen’s folks were assholes, and their unmarried daughter turning up pregnant wasn’t something they would tolerate.
He raised Mirren as his own, but he and Aileen never had a true relationship. They lived as a family only. Her mom hadn’t known the backstory and didn’t let him explain. She refused to speak to him for months.
Even though she knew her mother wasn’t pointing fingers at Gray’s decisions, her feelings were raw, and she lashed out thoughtlessly.
“You don’t need to apologize. Who better to help you through this than a woman who wasted months away from the love of her life because she was too pigheaded to listen?” She chuckled and patted Gray’s foot to let her know she truly wasn’t put out.
“Fine,” Gray sighed, “you may be right about the pigheaded part, but Ciar and I aren’t you and Dad. We aren’t in love. We shared one kiss. I thought from his texts…no,” she cut herself off.
“I read more into his interest than I should have. I’m angrier at myself than him. Embarrassed, if I’m honest.
“He’s not even six years older than me, and yet he seems so much wiser, successful, and just more, I guess. I have a year left of uni, and I’m just getting started at O’Connor.” She shrugged, having nothing more to add.
“First thing, you aren’t just starting out,” she air-quoted the last. “You’ve been working your tail off for the company. Your Uncle James is impressed, as are your grandparents. I’m impressed.
“But more importantly, you should never be embarrassed for how you feel. Ciar was one hundred percent in the wrong for not explaining what that dinner was about. I don’t think you mistook anything he said, did, or texted.
“I’ve known Ciar since he was a little boy. His life was not always good.”
That got Gray’s attention. She knew his mother wasn’t in the picture, but little else except that his dad and uncle were amazing, and Ciar clearly loved them both.
“I won’t discuss that. However, he has never struck me as the type of man who wouldn’t honor his word.”
Gray raised her hands in a pleading gesture. “I know that, and that’s why I believe he was never serious in the first place. I need to let it go. I will try to speak to him as I normally do. Try being the operative word. I don’t want to make our trip uncomfortable.
“Rowan is having a breakfast the morning we leave for everyone before we head out, I can say hello to him there. I know I need to fix it. Plus, I’ve put too many hours into his new business plan to turn it over to someone else.”
“I think that’s a very good start, but I still think you might consider that you won’t know his true feelings until you let him tell you.
” She chuckled, saying, “I spoke to River about the big breakfast reveal. I can’t believe they think Dagr and his father might be related to the O’Faolains.
I bet Bran and Patrick are shitting bricks. ”
“Oh, they are. Bébhinn told me that all four of the boys have been out of sorts and that her aunts keep teasing them about their long-lost brother.”
“The odds are strongly in their favor, however improbable it might sound. It was good to see Raven, River, and Rowan when I was in town last. Especially Row. I told your dad that I would like to visit more often and invite them here again.”
“I think that Bébhinn falling in love with Dagr has given Rowan something positive to think about. Well,” Gray said as she threw the bedcovers back, “I’d better get my lazy ass out of this bed and pack up.
“Thanks for taking care of me, Mom,” she stood and hugged her, “and for talking through the other. Oh, and you can tell Dad to chill out.”
“How about you tell me to chill out yourself,” her dad growled. He stood in the doorway, his big frame shrinking the area. His arms were crossed, and he was scowling.
Gray hugged him next, wrapping her arms tight around his much larger frame. He reciprocated, wrapping his arms around her back and squeezing the breath from her.
“Chill out, Dad,” she grinned when he finally let her go.
He looked toward her mom and asked, “Did she tell you what that cocky fuck did to make her cry?”
“Dad! For crying out loud, I just told you to chill out.”
“The fuck I will,” he replied obstinately.
Her mom walked over and gave her dad a side hug, to which he instantly snuggled her in. He was still not happy, though.
“Thomas,” her mom said in a warning tone. “Gray and I spoke. It was a misunderstanding.”
“A misunderstanding,” he huffed. “You cried on the drive home. I didn’t misunderstand that.”
Gray loved how much her father loved her, but he could be relentless if he knew someone was keeping something from him. “I love you, Dad, but you need to trust me. Ciar and I were only sideways with each other. Everything is fine. You like Ciar. Let it be.”
“I used to like Ciar,” he corrected, “but I do trust you. I don’t like it, but I have to believe Daniel and Jonathan will keep me updated if the need arises.”
“Babe,” her mom started, “you are not giving off ‘I trust you’ vibes. If you ask those boys to spy on Gray, so help me God, you won’t like the consequences.” Her mom turned to Gray and winked. “No favors.”
“I’m so out of this conversation. Get out of my room, Dad.” When he looked like he might want to argue, she added, “I need to talk to Mom about my period cramps.”
He threw his hands up in a stop gesture. “Enough. Christ, lass,” he sputtered before pivoting on a heel and speeding in the opposite direction.
“Cruel, but effective. Good call,” her mom praised.
After her mom left her alone to pack, her phone chimed. Her friends had been texting her well-wishes and keeping her up to date on the goings-on at home. The text wasn’t from the girls.
Ciar: I’m not taking no for an answer. Blair said you would be home tonight. You will see me.