7. Caroline
CAROLINE
The kids sit eagerly around the table, Juniper falling off her seat every once and a while as she buzzes with energy at the imminent arrival of macaroni and cheese.
Alaina scrapes the pot with a wooden spoon as I pour milk into cups. “Do you ever think we give them too much dairy?” I ask her, my hands gripping the plastic cup the boys got from a Putt-Putt place.
She gives me a scornful look and pulls one of her hairs out of a bowl of noodles, throwing it to the side. “Caroline, why do you hate your children?”
Laughing, I put lids on the cups. They’re mostly all old enough to drink without them, but when they get together, they knock everything over at twice the rate. “Okay, so not too much dairy, got it.”
“ Never ,” she emphasizes, bringing the plastic bowls to the kids two at a time. She rubs Aspen’s hair unconsciously before turning to get two more.
Juniper bounces in her seat. “Is it ready yet? Is it ready yet?”
“Coming now, noodle monster,” Alaina says, ruffling her hair.
Isaac points at the pot. “I want the crispy part!”
“There is no crispy part, it’s not baked,” I say.
“Then why does it smell crispy?” he counters, very seriously.
My phone rings in my pocket, and I answer without looking, expecting it to be another spam call.
It’s always a spam call or a bill collector.
I never finished college after that night at the club, but I did buy a house that the bank mercilessly reminds me still technically belongs to them.
“Yes?” I sigh, bringing cups of milk over to the boys while they inhale their noodles.
“Well, that’s not a very welcoming hello,” says the caller, voice low and velvety.
My heart palpitates, skipping a small beat that makes me almost drop the milk as I set it down. I right it before it drips onto the table, and when Alaina shoots me an inquisitive look, I mouth, “It’s Paul.” I frantically point at the phone, and her mouth drops open as her eyes light up.
“Oh, hi! I thought you were a bill collector,” I say and instantly regret it, folding forward and dropping my forehead onto the kitchen counter.
Alaina muffles a snicker into her hand. She comes over and rests one hand on my shoulder to get past me, taking the other two cups from me and handing them to her daughters.
Paul’s chuckle sounds different than I remember it, though it was only a few days ago that I heard it. Maybe his laugh could sound like home flashes through my mind, and sweat breaks out on my forehead. “Well, I do have that bill collector voice. Comes with the job.”
“Right, insurance,” I say with a chuckle, and I toss my head back at the ceiling, wishing God would take me out. I bite my bottom lip, trying to breathe through this. A man hasn’t called me in a long time. I can’t even remember how to talk back.
Alaina stands next to me and leans against the counter, her eyebrows rising into her forehead as she watches the train wreck.
But Paul breezes right past it. “I was wondering if I could take you out this weekend. Maybe tomorrow?”
“Oh.” I look at Alaina with wide eyes and she waves her hand as though saying, Keep talking , and I say, “Well, I have my kids. I can’t just leave.”
After a beat, he says, “Well, you know, I could help you get a babysitter. I would cover it. Consider it part of the date.”
I shake my head. A creepy feeling starts to snake through me and take hold. “Pay…for the babysitter?”
Alaina nods her head excitedly, but I shake mine back at her. “Sure,” Paul says, a little too eagerly. “Caroline, I just want to take you out. That conversation I had with you was the best one I’ve had in a long time. You tell me what you need to go out with me this weekend.”
“I don’t think…they’ve never had a babysitter.”
“What, never?”
“No, I’m always with them.” I glance at my sons. They slurp their mac and cheese off the spoons, and I swear they don’t even chew. Cheese covers their little mouths and smears onto their faces.
Alaina rolls her eyes and whispers, “I’ll take them.”
I wave her off and continue, “Paul, I have to go. I’m sorry.” I hang up abruptly, the pit still in my stomach.
I sit down at the table, ignoring the hole that Alaina is boring into me with her staring. I reach for the pot and spoon some into my bowl, looking at my sons. “Is that good, bubs?”
With a slam of her hands on the table that sends a spoon clattering a few inches, Alaina shouts, “Caroline, call him back!”
“No! It won’t work, and that’s it. Sorry my love life disappoints you.”
“ You’re disappointing me, not your love life,” she fires back. “Call that man back right now and tell him you found a babysitter. Quit being weird.”
“I’m not being weird. He was being weird,” I mumble, gulping water so hard that some dribbles down my chin.
“You’re just scared, Caroline. Come on, be brave.”
“I’m not scared,” I say, dragging my spoon through the noodles. “Something felt off about that.”
Alaina snorts. “Yeah, it was you. You were the off thing.”
I shoot her a look. “Wow, whatever happened to women’s intuition?”
“I never said women’s intuition,” she replies, gesturing with her fork.
“I said my intuition, and I just happen to be a woman. And I was right! He called you! And I’m right again.
Look, if you’re really nervous, meet in a public place.
But he’ll pick you up here, I’ll see him, and you can even share your location with me. ”
I sigh, dropping my shoulders. “Fine.”
Alaina leans forward, squinting at me. “What’s that?”
“I said fine,” I repeat.
“Fine?” Her grin spreads slowly, victorious.
“Yep. I’ll call him back and tell him yes, against my better judgment.”
She waves a dismissive hand. “No offense, but your judgment means nothing to me.”
“Well, I do take offense,” I mutter, standing to grab my phone.
“Yeah, well, take offense while you’re getting railed.”
“Jesus, Alaina, there are kids around!”
“Yeah, maybe you could remember how you got them,” she shoots back. “Besides, they don’t know what it means.”
I purse my lips together, feigning innocence. “How did you ever get to be a preschool teacher?”
“I lied on my resume,” she says with a sneaky smile. “Plus, they’re desperate for teachers in this country.”
“They really are.” I laugh, shaking my head as I scroll through my recent calls. “You exhaust me,” I say at the ringing in my ear.
“Excuse me?” Paul answers, confused.
“Not you!” I exclaim, eyes wide. I whip around toward Alaina and glare.
“How did you ever get a man to call you?” Alaina hisses with a grin.
I grab the nearest spoon and launch it at her. It misses, hits the fridge, and ricochets into Aspen’s lap.
“Cool!” she shouts, lifting the spoon triumphantly.
Paul chuckles on the other end of the line. “Still interested in tomorrow?”
“I am,” I say, pacing toward the kitchen window. “Let’s do it. But I’m meeting you somewhere public. And I’m texting my friend every thirty minutes.”
“You got it. Tomorrow at six?”
“Six is perfect.”
As I hang up, Isaac looks at me and asks, “Are you going on a date?”
I hesitate. “Maybe.”
“Is he gonna kiss you?” Juniper gasps dramatically.
“Gross,” Aspen says.
I smirk at Alaina. “I’ll let you know.”
She holds out her hand for a high five. “Proud of you.”
I roll my eyes but give her the high five anyway. Just once.
Then I look at the kids. Aspen is making noodle forts. Juniper has cheese in her hair. Isaac has officially dumped his milk all over his lap. Joshua somehow has two spoons.
And I think…maybe I can have it all. Kids and a love life. A house. A white picket fence.
If not, maybe I can at least have one night.