17. Caroline
CAROLINE
We’ve been driving for hours. No one’s talking anymore.
Rian’s head leans against the window, but I don’t trust that he’s asleep.
His breath is too even, too practiced. Declan hums quietly under his breath at the wheel—something tuneless, jagged, almost aggressive in its monotony.
Kellan sits beside me, his body close but not touching.
He hasn’t looked at me since we got in the car. Not really.
I can still feel him. His fingers. His mouth. The way he said my name like it meant something. And yet here I am again, in the back seat of a car like cargo.
I shift slightly. My hand brushes the inner lining of my jacket, where I slipped a piece of torn metal from the bathroom window frame. It’s sharp. Small. Enough.
They haven’t checked me since we left the hotel. Maybe they trust me. Or maybe they’ve stopped seeing me as a threat.
Kellan shifts beside me and finally speaks. “You cold?”
His voice is rough. Sleepy. Guilty.
“I’m fine,” I murmur, and I see him flinch like I said something cruel.
Declan turns down a different road that’s narrower, bumpier, lined with trees so thick the sky disappears.
“Shortcut?” Rian asks, still not opening his eyes.
“To the private runway,” Declan confirms.
Private. Of course. I think about my sons. About Alaina. I press the cool metal in my pocket tighter against my palm.
Beside me, Kellan clears his throat and taps his fingers twice on his thigh. A signal. To me, maybe. Or himself. I glance at him, and he looks away.
They all think they know me by now. None of them are ready for what I’ll do to survive.
I stare out the window at the blur of trees, counting the seconds between the turns. The road’s narrowing into nothing now. It has sharper curves, fewer signs. There’s a slope to it, a pull downhill like gravity’s trying to get ahead of us.
That’s when the thought strikes me. Not a plan, but a possibility. I’ve been fingering the scrap of metal like it might save me. But the variables are many—how strong I am, how sharp it really is, how good my aim is, how quick they are. I could be killed before I’ve done anything.
But I could grab the wheel. I could end this.
My fingers twitch in my lap, already decided.
I will not be executed at some undisclosed location like an animal no one claims. I will not disappear quietly.
If they’re going to kill me, then I’m going to go out with their blood on my hands.
Maybe mine too. But at least it will be my choice.
My eyes flick to Kellan. His lips are pressed into a line, his hands idle, one resting on the seat between us. He notices me watching and starts to say something, but I turn away.
If I do this, I might die. But at least it won’t be at their hands. At least it won’t be anonymous. Someone will find me and tell my boys I loved them.
I breathe in through my nose, slow and quiet. I wait for the next bend in the road, and then I do it. I actually do it.
I lunge forward and grab the steering wheel.
Declan shouts, one sharp “ EY! ” and then he jerks against me as I yank it hard to the right. The tires screech and then lift. Kellan grabs for me. Rian’s eyes snap open. There’s a sharp drop beside the road and we hit it at full speed.
The car lurches and flips. And then we’re airborne. Gravity takes us.
The last thing I hear is the sound of my own breath catching as the world turns upside down.
Smoke billows around me, and the car horn blares in my ears. I’m alive. I start to retch from all the smoke in my lungs, coughing violently, drooling into my lap. My eyes open, and blood rushes to my head. I’m upside down.
Kellan is shouting next to me, also hanging, asking, “Are you okay?” Even though he’s yelling, I can only make out the shape of his mouth. My ears ring, and my head moves through molasses as I look at him. He’s frantically trying to unbuckle my seat belt, fingers jabbing at the release.
My gaze drags forward. Rian is crushed against the passenger door, metal folded into him. His eyes are wide and unfocused. Declan’s chin droops to his chest, his body slumped over the wheel. The steering column looks like it caved into his ribs.
Did I do it? Did I actually do it? Are they dead?
Before Kellan realizes what I’m doing, I brace against the side of the car and lunge toward him in the dead weight of zero gravity. I grab the front of his shirt with one hand, and with the other, I slip his gun from his hip.
His eyes flash with betrayal mixed with something indiscernible—surprise, maybe pride.
I unbuckle myself and fall hard, crashing onto the shattered glass and twisted metal. Pain stabs my palms, but I wipe them on my shirt and move.
Rian groans and reaches for his gun. I press Kellan’s pistol to his temple.
He’s too slow, dazed—probably concussed—and I take his from him too, before turning to Declan.
His gun is just out of reach. He’s pressed so close to the wheel I can barely wedge my fingers around it. As I strain, his eyes flutter open.
His gray stare latches onto mine, and his hand shoots toward me and clamps around my wrist.
“I could just shoot your dick off and leave you to whatever kind of life that would be,” I whisper into his ear.
I press the gun against the inside of his thigh and drag it upward, slow and threatening.
Backing up, I point the gun straight at his dick to show him I mean business.
He releases my wrist, too squeezed to put up a proper fight anyway.
I unbuckle Kellan and duck as he crashes to the ground beside me, and then I back out of the wreck, both weapons steady in my grip. Kellan follows, cautious.
The car is a heap of steel and glass. It’s a miracle any of us are breathing. I did that. I’m proud of it.
“What are you thinking?” Kellan asks, voice grim. “They’ll never let you live now.”
“Then I won’t let them out.” I shrug. The power of the pistols surprises me. I like it more than I should.
He licks his lips and sighs. “You have to. They’re my brothers.”
“Are you saying you’ll kill me if I don’t? With what weapon?”
He considers. “With my hands?” He takes a hesitant step toward me, and I fire near his foot. Dirt sprays, and he flinches, holding his hands up in surrender.
“I’d rethink that.” I take another step back. “Maybe I’ll just run.”
“Caroline—” He steps toward me, hands out. “I can help you. We can figure this out.”
I laugh. It comes out raw, sharp, nothing like my real laugh. “I really don’t think we can, Kellan.”
“We’ll make them listen, okay? We’ll—” Something catches his eye behind me, and when I glance back, he lunges at me. He sends me careening into the ground and presses my wrists against the dirt.
I scream at him, “I trusted you! I trusted Paul!”
“There is no Paul! There’s no one here but me!” he screams back over top of me. One of his knees pins my arm, and the other is firmly in my stomach. He wrenches the guns from me and, gasping for breath, repeats, “There’s no one here but me. Look at me.”
I look at him wildly. My hatred boils over. He whispers, “You can trust me. I want you to live.”
“Why?” I sob, tears obscuring my vision. Dread is curling into my bones now. It feels like the end.
“Same reason Rian does.” He hesitates. “Those babies…they’re ours, aren’t they? They belong to one of us.” He shakes me. “Aren’t they? Talk to me!”
Tears stream into the grass. I nod. “Yeah,” I croak. “They’re someone’s.”
“Okay. Here’s the plan, Caroline. I’m keeping these guns.
You’re going to open the passenger door and let Rian out.
Help him, dress his wounds. I’m going to get Declan out.
And then we’re going to tell Declan the truth.
You’re going to promise to be good .” He cups my cheeks in his hands, shaking my head slightly.
“And to keep your mouth shut. Forever. ”
“What if he doesn’t care?” I whimper, the fear too thick to even consider. But I need to know if I’ll ever see my boys again.
“He’ll care because our athair will care.”
“Athair?”
“Our father.”
And then a new fear snakes around my heart. Their father.
Am I going to meet the man who raised these animals?